Last night, I lit a fig-scented candle in my room and tried to meditate.

I think the point of meditation is that you are supposed to clear your mind, to be able to expel all the junk cluttering in your head, junks like guilt, worry, stress, and confusion. But then the candle maker should try to make a bigger candle, since the available size was not enough to help with the bucketloads of stress I am having.

            My room was very nicely scented though.

But I thought about this one thing, after the whole night of meditating. I came up with this conclusion after spending time mulling over every single thing: that I was a trouble-magnet.

But that was then, I woke up this morning, determined to start a positive day ahead. I put on a bright-orange short dress, along with the bracelet I got from JongHyun which matches really well together. I don’t know why, but I just felt like wearing it, because it had been shoved in my drawer for too long, and … I just have this urge to show it off to everyone, let the rumours sprouted become real. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I walked beamingly towards the dining room to have my breakfast.

“GaEul” YiJeong’s mother smiled briefly at me from her seat at the dining table.

Snap.

Wasn’t she supposed to be in Africa right now?

“How is it going?” She asks.

I couldn’t lift my face. I am hunching and trembling on my seat with cold sweats wrapping my hands.

How should I answer her? ‘I was caught in a snog with a famous guy, the news spreads across the globe, and your son launched a cold war on me. So everything is going perfectly fine.’ Should I answer her that way?

I can vividly see my luggage being thrown out of the mansion when she chases me out of here. Well, I should be thankful enough if she didn’t pay assassins to kill me after what I’ve done.

The guilt that was slightly gone following the aromatic candle’s soot is now coming back, fogging my just-now-clear head, and my mind is now officially swamped in a sudden misery.

            “Do you love him? That guy?” I hear her voice asks.

Right now, I’d appreciate it if an earthquake swallows me up whole, so that I don’t have to answer her questions.

            “GaEul ah….” She sits next to me, causing me to jerk a little. Her voice is soft, almost soothing. She puts her hand on my shoulder, inviting me to lift my head and look at her face.

            “Do you love that guy?” She asks again with a smile on her face.

Love? I’m not sure either. Is madly fluttering stomach and crazily beating heart are signs of love? Because I feel that way every time I see JongHyun.

“You know, my marriage with YiJeong’s father was arranged too”

Yes. I am aware of that.

            “But then, I’ve got someone else whom I loved, so much that I used to think that I am      living my life just for him”

            “Even though I eventually fell in love with YiJeong’s father, some regrets still                   remains. Nowadays I still wonder, what is that person doing? Did he completely                  forget about me? Whether if he lives happily.”

            “I still have those questions lingering around my mind sometimes” She smiles.

I can’t help but to fix a smile back at her. Even my own mum wreaked the hell out the day after the news was spread, but she is sitting here calmly, telling her own love story to me.

Is she for real?

            “I don’t want my son to experience the same thing that I’ve been through”

            “So that’s why I wanted him to choose his own bride. But that son of mine –“ She suddenly laugh.

            “He ended up having so many girlfriends that I can’t even remember their faces”

Yeah. You are so right madam. You should see how he naturally put his hands on the girl’s waist yesterday, what a player.

“And then I came to one conclusion, I have to tie him off, but of course with someone      he likes”

            “So after a period of stalking and investigating, we found you, the lovely Chu Ga Eul”

Stalking? So are you trying to say that our engagement wasn’t just the traditional strategy of business expansion?

            “Well I’ve succeeded in making the engagement as a surprise. Which brings out a very good result, YiJeong is absolutely happy with the engagement”    

            “Seems like a perfect plan wasn’t it?” She grins.

            “But then I forgot one important thing. I forgot about you”

            “I was so absorbed in making it a surprise for my son”

Oh. Suddenly I feel stupid for not realizing that the merging of an agricultural group with an art and educational group is ridiculous. So it wasn’t the fate’s work, our engagement. It was all her plan.

            “I’m sorry”

            “I’m sorry that I didn’t even ask about your feeling”

How funny! I am the one who caused their company’s share values to decline these few days, but she is the one who is apologizing to me.

This is not right.

            “This is my fault. I should’ve considered your condition before engaging you two”

What have I done? This sweet and kind lady is practically begging for my apology.

            “Omma, why are you apologizing?” I’m finally able to talk.

            “That guy… He is no one special. I- I made a mistake” I look at her eyes.

She is too kind that I don’t have the gut to say otherwise.

            “I am happy about the engagement too, It was just, that night.....”

I couldn’t continue my sentences since I can’t think of anything to replace the word ‘mistake’.

“Really?” Her face suddenly beams with deliriousness.

What I’ve learnt about her all these while, she is a type of person who is easy to please. Well, just that I’ve never thought it was THIS easy.

            “Then please, make up with YiJeong. I’m sure he will eventually be okay with that” She explains.

            “Please, it hurt me to see him sad.”

Maybe I should come back to reality this time around. I mean to give up on chasing the dream boy JongHyun and appreciate what I have right now.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter