FLASHBACK

This is ridiculous.  The high and mighty Park Mun Wu is kneeling down in front of me.  His head almost touching the floor.

“I beg you, Kwon.  Spare Dara and my granddaughter.  Leave them alone.”

I swear.  I wanted to beat the old man to death.  Is he really asking me to abandon my own flesh and blood?  Is he for real?

Great!  Just in’ great.

“They are peacefully living on their own.  Just continue living yours without them.”  The old man continued.

“You denied me my family.  You stole them from me.”  I hissed.  I was seething with rage towards him.  I can’t forgive him for hiding Dara and my daughter.  And for everything he did without my knowledge.

“I did it for your own good-“

“Really?”  I laughed sarcastically.

“Look at me!  Just look at me right now!  Do you think I’m doing fine?  Do you think I’m living the best day of my life right now?”

I already lost my respect for the old man.  Park Mun Wu is a cunning old man.

“You don’t decide how I live my life.  I will take back what is rightfully mine.”

Park Mun Wu got back on his feet.  He dusted off his expensive suit.  He straightened his body. 

“You should better do what I ask while I’m still being nice, Kwon.  Or you’ll never see your daughter ever again.  Not even from a distance.”  His voice turned menacing.

“Are you threatening me?”  I stood unfazed.

“You don’t know what I am capable of doing, Kwon.  You already saw how powerful my influence.”

“I’m not afraid of you.  I’m taking my family back.”  I retaliated.  His words didn’t shake me.

“I will not allow you, Kwon.  You have to kill me first.” 

Park Mun Wu turned to leave. When he disappeared, a group of men wearing black suit replaced him.  They slowly approached me.  I took a step backward.

“I hope this will make you consider my boss’ request.”  The leader said.   

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I kept punching and kicking the vending machine on the alleyway not far from the café.   My knuckles were bleeding but, I felt no pain.  My whole body felt numb.  I can only feel my heart hammering inside my chest.  I was bleeding and torn apart. 

I can’t see anymore.  My vision is blurred with tears falling uncontrollably. 

My mind is clouded with hate. 

I hate myself. 

COWARD!  You’re a coward.  I repeatedly told myself.

COWARD!

COWARD!

COWARD!

I pounded the lifeless machine even more.  My fists already created a big dent on its metal surface smeared with my own blood.  I couldn’t care less.

“Jiyong!”

“Stop hurting yourself.”

Teddy pulled me away from the machine hugging me on the process.

“You need to stop now, Jiyong.  You’re hurting everybody around you.”

“I deserve to die, Hyung.  I deserve to die.”  I ranted at him.

“Calm down, Ji.”

“Did you see her face, Hyung?  Did you see the pain I inflicted on her.  She hates me.”

I was bawling in front of Teddy.  I was starting to lose my mind.

“I’m an .  A good-for-nothing bastard.  I don’t deserve them.”

“She’s very pretty, Hyung.  She really looks like me.  She’s an angel.  My little princess.  But, I made her cry.  I made her cry, Hyung.  I hate it.”

I released myself from Teddy’s embrace.  I slumped down on the pavement.  I felt so weak.

“Hit me, Hyung.”

“What?”  Teddy asked in disbelief.

“Hit me.”  I took his hand and hit my head with it.  Teddy tried to take back his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Make me forget again, Hyung.  Help me forget everything.”

“What are you saying?”

I roamed my eyes on the dark alley.  I spotted a rusty steel bar lying on the ground. 

I handed Teddy the steel bar.

“Here, Hyung.”  I pointed at my temple.  “Make it real hard.  Just one blow to make me forget the bastard that I am.”

But, Teddy threw away the steel bar.  I stared at him with wide eyes.  Why won’t he help me?

I felt his palm on my left cheek.  It left a burning sensation on my skin.

“Hyung-“

“Stop this nonsense, Jiyong.  You’re making it more difficult.”

“Hyung-“

“Stop being a coward, Jiyong.  Show Park Mun Wu who you really are.  Claim what is rightfully yours.”

“I can’t.  I don’t want to lose them.  It’s better this way.  Seeing them from afar is enough for me.”

“You’re going to lose them if you continued being an .  You’re hurting your daughter.  You’re hurting Dara.”

“I don’t deserve them.”

“They need you, Jiyong.  As much as you need them.”

I shook my head.  My tears never ceased from falling.  As much as I want to, Park Mun Wu’s words kept replaying in my head.

“If you keep your distance, I will let you see your daughter.  That is the least I could do for you, Kwon.  Stay away from my family. ”

My blurry mind turned black.  The last thing I heard were footsteps running to our direction.