Jenny POV

I woke up with the smell of cinnamon.

Ooooo What’s that smell. Wait a minute it’s Saturday……..that means…………..

“CINNAMON ROLLS!!!” me and Ash yelled. We jumped out of bed and put on our slippers. We open the door and we see Vic umma trying to put on her slippers while running down the stairs.

We all race down and see…………………………..NOTHING.

“Umma, where are the cinnamon rolls?” I asked.

“Oh sorry honey. We ran out.” She said.

“Then why does it smell like cinnamon?” asked Victoria.

“Well, I need you girls to wake up. This was the quickest way I knew how.” Umma said gesturing to the boiling cinnamon sticks on the stove.

“Ughh this . Well I’m out.” Said Ash.

“What? Why? Just because there’s no cinnamon rolls?” I asked.

“Yes. But no. I got a text from my parents. They want me back ASAP. They have some brunch or something I need to go to.”

“Aww man. Okay. Text me!” I yell to her as she heads to the door.

“ALWAYS!” she yells back closing the door.

“Sooo umma what are we doing today?” I ask yawning.

“What?” asked Victoria with a confused face.

I repeated myself again. “Well, I was thinking we could have a girl’s day. Just us three. How does that sound?” said umma.

Me and Vic looked at each other and shared a knowing look. “When you mean girl’s day….” Said Vic and I finished off. “you mean shopping???”

“How else is a girl’s day supposed to be?” umma asked with a duhh look.

“KYA!!!!” Both me and Vic yelled as we ran upstairs.

“Hurry up!!! We will be leaving in an hour!!!” umma yelled.

Both me and Vic umma showered and we got ready to go to the mall. Umma isn’t the type of mom who is awkward or who tries to act young. Umma is the type of mom who naturally is cool. She understands us. I wouldn’t say she’s my friend because she’s my mom. But, she really gets me. And she’s always the person I go to for advice on serious things. I can tell her anything. Sometimes I tell her stuff I wouldn’t tell Victoria or even Ashley. I guess we just have that close relationship and I’m really grateful for that.

I changed into an outfit I thought would be perfect for walking a lot. It’s cute yet comfy. Stylish yet casual. It’s the perfect outfit for going to the mall.

I’ve always been stylish. I’m so happy my school has no uniforms. I can finally express myself with fashion. Comparing me to Ashley, we’re pretty the same. But she’s a bit less girly than me. I’m super duper girly. I love skirts and dresses. Especially things that a floral. I just love it.

I walk downstairs and I see umma fixing her purse. Victoria comes down after a while and we head off.

---6 hours later---

We got home and we are so tired. We bought so much new stuff. I think I have a new outfit for everyday for the next 10 years.

Right now we are all on the couch lying down with all our bags around us. My parents are what you call “successful” here in the U.S. But in South Korea, we’re a whole other story. I guess you can say that we are filthy rich. My parents first transferred her when I was 7. I was lucky they taught me English since I was born. At that age I was fluent in English for a 7 year old. Victoria moved in with us when I was about 11 or 12. My parents are part owners of CS Enterprises. Victoria’s parents own the other half as well. Her parents sent her  here to have a better education.

My parents moved here to the U.S. to establish a U.S. headquarters. So far, it’s really good. Not as popular as the Seoul headquarters but according to their calculations, in 10 years it’ll be just as equivalent. No one knows that I’m what you call “rich” other than Ashley. She doesn’t know how much, but she knows. She’s also “rich” too. Her parents own a lot of country clubs in the country. No one in school knows that we’re both rich. We decided not to tell anyone because we didn’t want any fake friends. They only people that know are Taecyeon and Nichkhun. Nichkhun moved in with Taec for the same reason as Victoria. Nickhun’s parents own transportation chain. Cars, planes, jets, etc. You name it, they got it. But everyone knows that Khun is rich. Taecyeon’s parents own a 5-star hotel/resort chain here in the U.S, in Korea, and in Japan. Everyone also knows that Taec is rich. That’s why both Khun and Taec have their own fan club.

I guess that’s why they came by yesterday. I think they were talking about some partnership deal. I don’t know. I never really payed attention. I hate business talk. Thank god my older brother will be taking over our share. I prefer art than business. But my parents recently bought an Art Museum, so that business I like. It’s sorta half and half. I think I’ll be fine being in charge of all the Art Museums and shopping malls. That would be okay.

“YEOBO!! I’m home!” yelled appa as he walked in. I looked at my mom and her eyes are wide. I guess she’s scared from all the shopping.

“Yeo- What’s this?” asked appa.

“Umma took us shopping.” Said Victoria.

Appa looked at umma a little mad. Umma instantly noticed. She got up from the couch and walked in front of him.

“Yeobo. I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t see my girls that often anymore because of school and their after activities. I took the opportunity to have mother-daughter time with them. Forgive me.”

“I forgive you. Just let me see the bill?” said appa. One thing that appa hated was spending money. Especially a whole lot of it. And that’s exactly the amount we spent.

Umma whispered the amount into appa’s ear and he immediately got pist. His face is really red. Umma kissed his cheek and he instantly softened. Umma started whisper sweet thing into his ear and he fell for it…again. He always falls for umma’s kisses.

They held each other hugging and he kissed her nose. It’s was so cute. Then she kisses his lips. After a couple sweet peck………..it went from PG to something I should never see. They were literally each other’s face.

Me and Victoria looked at each other completely disgusted. We got the pillows and threw at them to stop. “Get a room!” I yelled.

Appa stopped and looked at us. “Oh we will.” He said with a smirk.

“EWWWW!!!!!!!” Me and Vic yelled running to our rooms. I followed her into her room.

I started to help organize her stuff we bought and after 10 minutes there was knock on her door. I open the door and see umma with appa’s arms wrapped around her.

“Girls….can you umm…..leave?”

“Why?” asked Vic.

“Because….” Umma said.

“What? Just tell us why?” I said.

“Stop asking questions!!! It’s been a while since me and umma had-“

“YEOBO!!!!!” umma scremed.

“Ewww. Fine. We’ll leave.” Said Vic

They closed the door. I turned around completely shocked. Victoria noticed.

“C’mon Jenny, let’s go. We should leave quickly before we hear anything.” I nodded and left to my room to grab my back pack. I stuffed it with my sketch book and my pencils and chalk. I got my ipod and put it in. I found the romance novel I was reading and put it in their too. I got my phone and put it in my backpack.

“You ready?” asked Vic as she opened the door. “Yup.”

We walked out onto the halfway and heard giggling. We immediately started running out of the house before anything happened. Just the thought of “it” happening between my parents is gross. And the fact that they asked us to leave is even worse.

We were outside in the driveway. “Unnie, where are we going?”

She looked around and saw Khun’s car still in the driveway. “C’mon.” she said while dragging me to their front door.

I’m so nervous; I’ve never been to their house. Khun always came to my house. What if I see Taecyeon? What will I do? What will I say? Will I say anything at all? As my thoughts continued going on, the door opened. It was Khun.

“Babe, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“Ummm we need a place to hide a out for a couple of hours.” She said.

“A COUPLE OF HOURS?!?” I said bewildered.

“Uhh yeah. Come on in. I was just playing video games with Taec.”

I walked in and the house is nice. I didn’t really pay attention to it because my thoughts kept coming. WTF? A couple of hours? OMG! What are they, rabbit? WTF?

We walked into their “man cave” and I saw him. He looks good just in jeans and white t-shirt. In anything he looks good. Nickhun sat down on the couch and Vic unnie joined him. There was no other seat, so I sat next to him. It is really awkward. I didn’t look at him. I knew if I looked into his eyes, I would say something stupid. Or say nothing at all.

“So why do you need to hide?” asked Khun.

“Ummm…….Jenny put your headphones on.” I nodded and took out my ipod and started listening to music. I put it a bit loud so I wouldn’t hear unnie talking about what just happened.

Khun and Taec were nodding their heads and then suddenly they got this face:

I guess it was safe to listen now. I took off my ear phones and Khun looked at me.

“Now it makes sense. When Vic said a couple of hours you freaked out right?”

“More like disgusted.” I said honestly but softly.

“Why?” asked Taec. Is he seriously asking me why?

“Because they’re old………it’s weird.” I said awkwardly.

“Anyway, how you been? Sorry I didn’t text you this morning blah blah blah…” Vic unnie said. The conversation got boring so I took out my sketch book and started drawing.

I looked up and Nichkhun and Victoria all lovey dovey. I looked back down and continued drawing.

After a couple of minutes I felt as if someone was looking at me. I looked to my left and I saw Taecyeon looking at me. Oh God!! Please help me from being stupid.

I immediately looked back down and continued drawing. After a little while I smelled A guy’s cologne. It smells so good. There are no words to describe it. (A/N: Probably because I don’t know how to describe men’s cologne.) I looked to my left and I see Taecyeon. We are literally only 2 inches away from each other.

I look down and continue drawing. *clears throat*

“Umm Jenny.” He called.

I looked back slowly and saw he was sitting normally. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Drawing.” I said softly.

“Can I see?”

I passed him my sketch book. He looked at it closely. “Can I?” he asked motioning to the other pages.

I nodded as my answer. I’m so nervous. He’s looking at my sketch book. That’s my private one. At first glance it may seem normal, but each drawing has a special meaning to it.

I kept watching him pass through all the pages. He suddenly stopped. His eyes were wide. OH NO!!! What did he see?

He kept looking at it and his ears got red. Is something wrong? Did he not like what I drew?

“Ummm Jenny……..you drew……..me.” HOLY CRAP!!! OMG!!! I totally forgot about that. OMG What do I do? He’s gonna think I’m weird. He’s gonna think I some weird freak. This is so nervous.

He looked at me and patted to the seat next to him. I didn’t do anything. He patted again and I was just blinking hoping this was all a dream. He patted a third time. I guess I better face the fact. He probably knows I like him.

I stood up and sat right next to him. Our legs were touching a bit. Oh God.

He opened up the sketch book and made me look at the drawing.

(A/N: I found this pic on Google, so if you know the artist please tell me and I'll give them proper credit.)

I remember the day I drew it. It was just an ordinary day 2 summers ago. We live in a gated community. There’s a small lake with lots of ducks. I decided to draw it. I sat down on the bench and started drawing. I looked up and saw someone on the bench on the other side of the lake. He kept looking around. I focused more and realized it was him. I wondered why he was there. I was already finished drawing the lake so I started to draw again. I don’t know why I drew him. I didn’t even realize I was drawing him. It wasn’t until I finished I realized I drew him. It was so natural drawing him. It was then that I started to like him. Slowly I learned more about him and now look where I am. He’s looking at my sketch of him.

“You’re good……………………………but……………………………………..Are my ears really that big?”

“Yes.” I said giggling.

“I hate my ears.” He said.

“Why?”

“They’re too big for a human body.”

“NO!” I shouted. Uh oh. His ears are perfect. I love his ears. How can he hate something about his appearance?

“Ummm…..I don’t think you should hate something about your appearance. It’s not right. You should love yourself for who you are because that’s the way God made you.” I said.

He looked at me shocked. Oh no. I said something wrong. I didn’t want to offend him. I’m just telling him the truth.

“That’s the longest sentence you have said to me. How many was that??? *counting fingers* Wow. 28 words. That’s you’re new record.” He said. That’s what he got from everything I said.  I don’t even know why I try.

“But you do have a point. I know I shouldn’t hate that about my appearance. It’s just you get insecure when people make fun of you?”

What the hell? People make fun of him? How can that be? He is literally showered with love. Every girl wants him. Every guy wants to be him. How can he be insecure? I just looked at him completely shocked.

“I know what you’re thinking. How can someone like me who is adored by everyone be insecure? Well I too get those comments. They’re not meant to be mean. It’s just supposed to be a joke. But even the simplest jokes can hurt someone’s feelings.”

I know exactly how he feels. But mine are the opposite. The comments are meant to make me feel bad. People always called me names or said false things about me. They called me `those typical names like: Freak, Loser, Teacher’s Pet, Bookworm, Low-life, Coward etc. I remember one girl even asked me if I was mute. That hurt really bad.

We were silent after our little “moment”. I looked around the room and didn’t see Nickhun or Victoria. I started to panic. Where the hell is she? Did she leave me? I guess Taecyeon noticed my face because he also started to look around where the couple went.

“I’m gonna go look for Victoria and Khun. You stay put.” I nodded my head and he dashed out of the room.

I called unnie but her phone was here so she obviously didn’t answer. I called Khun and the same thing.

I waited a bit more and started to panic even more. She couldn’t have ditched me. She couldn’t have left me. I know I shouldn’t panic but I can help it. I suffer from panic attacks. They always trigger when I’m alone.

I did my breathing exercises and it helped a bit. My heart rate went down but I still felt anxious.

Suddenly I start to hear weird noises. They sound like footsteps. It got louder and louder. It sounded as if the person was in the room with me. I went to my backpack and put it on. 

My phone started to ring and I jumped a bit with the sudden noise. It was a random number. I picked it up and I heard breathing. I immediately went into a serious panic attack.

I fell to the floor. My heart rate was so fast it didn’t feel like there any heartbeat. I clench my chest and I felt damp. I was sweating. My lungs are on fire.

“BOOO!!!!!!”

I slowly turned and saw Taecyeon and Nichkhun laughing.

“You should’ve seen your face.” Said Khun while laughing.

I stood up and my senses were back to normal. I looked at both of them and they were still laughing. I pushed past them and grabbed my backpack. I walked past them again and got my sketchbook. I walked towards the door and looked back. They both had confused faces.

“Why?” I said feeling a tear pass down my cheek.

With that I left the house. I ran and ran. Thoughts kept coming to mind. How could they do this to me. Why did they find any satisfaction in me panicking? Why? Why did Nickhun do that? Why wasn’t Victoria there to stop them? Why wasn’t she there to protect me? Why did he do that? Why did he leave me? Why did he let that happen? Why was I so weak to let that happen?

Why did I ever think he was different?

I ran and ran. The tears wouldn’t stop falling. I bet my eyes a red a puffy. I bet I look like Rudolph the reindeer. The tears kept flowing and they wouldn’t stop.

I ran and ran. I ran out of the community. I ran past Main Street. I ran past the high school. I ran past my childhood playground. I ran past my old middle school. I ran past my old Elementary school. I ran and ran. Eventually I was exhausted. I stopped running and started to walk.

I walked and walked. I felt as if I traveled around the Earth and back. I sat down at a random bus stop. I had stopped crying. I guess I’m all dried out. I counted the buses passed by.

I got up on the bus and paid the driver. I sat in the front row because there was no one else on it.

Once I was a block away from my community I got off and thanked the driver. I entered the community and look at my phone. 10:32 PM

I walked to my front door and took a deep breath. I walked in and knew where they were waiting.

I dropped by backpack at the entrance and walked to the living room.

I saw umma crying. I saw appa comforting her. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Ok with worried looks. I saw Victoria and Nickhun holding hands. And I saw him.

“I’m home.” I said softly. All their heads turned and looked at me.  Umma, appa, and Victoria looked at me with worried eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Ok looked shocked. Nickhun and Taecyeon looked shocked.

Umma was about to stand up but I motioned for her to stay seated.

“Don’t stand……….I don’t want anyone asking me if I’m fine. I am not fine.”

“Jenny I’m so sor-“ I cut Taecyeon off.

“Save it.” I walked to Victoria. I stood in front of her. “Look at me.” I said with a serious tone.

She looked up with tears in her face. “I don’t want to see your tears. You should’ve been there. You should’ve protected me.”

“Jenny please for-“

“NO. Don’t apologize. You promised you would protect me. You promised I wouldn’t feel like that ever again.” Tears started to fall from me now. “You broke your promise.”

She reached out to hold my hand but I pulled back. I started to walk away. Just before I was gonna turn in the hall way I stopped.

“…………………………………………………..63 buses.” *gasp* I knew exactly who it came from. Victoria.

I ran into my room and started to cry my eyes out again. I just feel alone and lost. But especially I fell heart broken.

------Back in the living room-------

Author POV

“I’m so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Choi. I never meant for her to run away like that.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know.” said Mrs. Choi.

“NO. It is not fine. These boys have cause your daughter to run away. They will be punished.” Said Mr. Ok.

“Yes. I’ll make sure they’ll be punished for this.” Said Ms. Ok.

“No need. These boys shouldn’t be punished. They didn’t know about her condition.” Said Ms. Choi.

“But you Victoria have disappointed us. It’s been 2 years since she last had a panic attack. But you’re blindness has caused her to relapse again. I suggest you stay away from Jenny until she asks for you. Be prepared to wait a long time. The last time you let this happen, she didn’t say a word to anyone for 3 months.”

“Yes sir. I’m really sorry I let this happen. I promised you that I would take care of her. But I failed again. I truly am sorry.” said Victoria.

“I know you are sweetie. It’s just that with Jenny we have to be extra careful.” Said Mrs. Choi “Now more than ever you should keep a close eye on her so she won’t do anything to herself.”

“Won’t do anything to herself? Has she done something?” asked Mrs. Ok.

“Unfortunately, she has. By the grace of God and all the support we have given her she stopped. But after this, we don’t if it will start again.” Said Mr. Choi

“What is ‘it’?” asked Taecyeon.

“Well when the panic attacks started, it was because we lost here in the mall when she was about 9. It was really bad. When we found her, we saw her motionless. When we mean motionless, she’s alive, but she barely blinks, there’s barely a heartbeat, and she turns pale. When we to touch her hand she immediately started to panic. When we mean panicking, we mean as in lots of screaming and lots of tears.” Explained Mr. Choi.

“When we brought her back home, she didn’t say a word. She wouldn’t even acknowledge our presence in the room. She would walk around this house as a ghost…*tears begin to fall*.” Said Mrs. Choi.

“After I moved in, I knew. I helped her. Me and Ashley helped her walk out. We helped her speak to strangers. We calmed her down when she would have a panic attack. We protected her. I promised her that as long as I was here, it will never happen again.” Said Victoria.

“During that ‘healing process’ she never shed a tear. She never once showed any emotion. At times she would smile just a little but she never showed any sadness. We started to become worried because even you don’t shed tears in front of others, that meant she was shedding them alone.” Said Mr. Choi

“One night, we woke up in middle of the night because we heard crying. We walked to her bedroom and realized she was in the bathroom. We walked in and saw her there sitting on the ground. Her arm was covered in blood.” Said Victoria.

“She cut herself?” asked Taecyeon and Nichkhun at the same time.

“Yes. She did. Ever since that day she stopped……..We’re  telling you this so you can look out for her. We can’t always have eyes on her. Since you two go to school with, please make sure she’s okay……Can you do that?” asked Mr. Choi

“Of course. I’ll personally watch out for her.” Said Taecyeon. “Me too.” Said Khun.

“We will as well. As long time friends I think it’s best out we look out for one another.” Said Mr. OK.

“Have you finished telling them?” asked a voice.

Hey readers,

I know what you're thinking...

Most of the times the first few chapters are boring

but I wanted things to starts happening.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Remember to comment and subscribing is always loved.

<3

-J