After my meeting with Jonghyun, it was confirmed that I had been right all along. She was alive and out there, hiding from me. I didn't know the reason behind it but at this point where I missed her so damn much, it would be the last thing I cared about. 

Jonghyun happened to run into her and thanks to him, I had all of the information I needed. I decided that it was best for me to watch her from the sidelines because I didn't know why she was hiding from me. I didn't plan on losing her a second time. 

I put on my coat and hat before heading to her workplace.

It's been a week since my job as a nurse and I loved it. I worked in the pediatric department and I was surrounded by babies that were extremely adorable. Who knew that being a nurse could be so rewarding. Every day I got to see the smiles of many fathers as they looked into the window to see their baby as their wives were recovering. For some reason, I wanted to see Doojoon smile the same smiles as these fathers. I missed him so much. I don't know when or how but I realized that I still had feelings for him. Immense feelings. I began to believe that what Junhyung and I had was nothing. It was only short-lived and ingenuine. No one was to blame for it. What was meant to be was meant to be. 

As the clock reached 12:30 I clocked out to go on my lunch break and made my way to the cafeteria. Although it had only been a week, I became pretty good friends with a lot of my colleagues and even staff from other departments. Lunch every day was a really great time to fill that empty space in my heart. I was distracted by interesting and entertaining stories that oftentimes gave me a good laugh and something to think about rather than thinking about Doojoon all day. But at the end of the day, I couldn't deny the fact that I missed him so much that sometimes I would find myself waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep well. 

"Could you send these to Lee _____?"

"Are you looking for Lee _____ in the pediatric department?"

"Yes but please don't let her know I came here and that these are from me."

"Alright...thank you on her behalf. Have a nice day, sir."

"Thank you. Have a good one," I thanked her as I turned and left the hospital.

"Can you take these flowers and deliver them to their respective room numbers, _____?"

"Sure, I'll do that right now."

You had a couple of flower arrangements to deliver to mothers and their newborns. 

After a couple of bouquets and arrangements, you noticed one that was addressed to you. 

"Lee _____?" you read aloud, moving your head to the side.

"Flowers for you?" your colleague asked you.

"Yeah....this is so weird. Is there someone here with that name?"

"Let me check," she said as she went to the computers.

"Nope. No one has that name here so it must be for you," she told me.

"Huh...I don't know what to feel about this," you replied, speaking slowly since you were so confused. 

"It must be a secret admire. Maybe it's a cute doctor!" she giggled.

"Oh please. You're being funny," you laughed along with her.

After admiring the bouqet you went back to work for a couple hours before it was time to go home.

When you arrived, you put the bouqet into a vase and something fell out of the flowers.

"What is this?" you wondered as you picked up a small card that fell onto the floor.

You opened up the envelope and read the message aloud.

When you see this, don't be alarmed. I just want to let you know that I should have let you know how I feel a long time ago. I don't know the reason for why things are the way they are right now, but I do assure you that I'll always be on the lookout for you. Perhaps we can sort it all out in the near future. 

After reading the message, you felt your heart sink, almost down to your stomach. Could this be Doojoon? How could it be? You were dead. At least to everyone who thought so. You set the note down and crawled into bed early. You hugged your pillow for the rest of the night, deep into thought before you finally feel into slumber.

It's been a week since I sent flowers to _____. I decided to drop by her place today. Each day, I had been writing bits a pieces of a letter I wanted to send to her. I didn't hint at who I was but knowing her, she probably would have suspected it if she read my note card. I guess the reason as to why I was doing all this was because I wanted to slowly ease into reconciling with her, not wanting to lose her if I jumped out and told her I knew that she was hiding from me. 

I felt like a bit of a stalker but I couldn't help it. With the information that Jonghyun had previously given me, I sorted out her schedule. 

1. She was out of the house by 7:30

2. Her shifts usually ranged from 8am to 4pm

3. She usually went home right away after getting off of work

4. Her lights would usually go out around 10-11pm

With what I've observed in my mind, I worked around her schedule. I dropped by her house about an hour before her shift ended to drop my letter in her mailbox. I missed her so much I really wanted to jump out and embrace her. I wanted her all to myself. I didn't care if this was being selfish or not. I only wanted her and nothing else. 

I don't know when or how I came to the realization that I did love her and with each day, my love for her only augmented. 

I got into my car and drove away, the thought of her never leaving my mind.