Story link

Review by Milo

Title [10/10]

Definitely attractive to love story enthusiasts and ties in well with your story.

Appearance [10/10]

A+ poster.
Your is story free of any fancy formatting, which some people find easier to read, and author’s notes are easy to discern from the actual prose.

Your use of smaller, sometimes one sentence, paragraphs after an initial bulky paragraph makes your story seem very streamline and helps boost the pace of your story.

Description and foreword [10/10]

No problems!

Characters [10/10]

There’s large variation between your original characters and you showed this through actions, words, their interactions with other characters and vice versa. Where you have borrowed archetypes they don’t seem cliché (and even if they were that would be okay, I’m just saying you have very fresh characters). I found all of your characters well-rounded, memorable, and consistently characterized.

Plot [40/40]

I may be biased because I’m a total er for the “Person A hates Person B. Person B likes Person A. Eventually they fall in love” trope but you have a very solid plot here. You managed to make love both the focus and not the focus of the story in such a way that your reader will enjoy the non-romantic plot points and eventually come back to the romantic side of things. The romance grew at a natural pace, I think, considering how opposed Aria was in the beginning.

The ending…All I’m going to say is that it’s realistic no matter how your readers (myself included) may feel about that and I applaud you for taking this route.

Grammar and spelling [9/10]

I don’t see any spelling or grammar errors, and what I did find awkward will work themselves out as your develop and improve without your style of writing!

The only thing I have to say is that, It’s not wrong, but some people find extending words like “noooo” or “fiiiiine” to be unprofessional. Same with writing shouted phrases in all caps like “SHUT UP” but, again, you don’t have to fix this. It’s just something to keep in mind.

Overall enjoyment [10/10]

Oh my gosh, this is incredibly well-written! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and even felt I could learn from your pacing. Holy cow, keep up the good work!!

Total [99/100]