He woke up when he heard cried from ribcage on the other side of room. He looked to the clock, it was still 2 am in the morning. He climbed down the bed and ran fast. He lifted the baby up and holds him tight on his arm.

          “Please, don’t cry. Are you hungry?” The baby just cried. He went to down stair to the kitchen. He put down him on center of kitchen counter, afraid if he might be fall. He searched for the baby feed equipment and formula milk. He washed the bottle, teat, retaining ring and cap in clean, hot, soapy water, and sterilized them by boil the bottle and teat in covered pan for 10-15 minutes; also he boiled water for the milk. He used the sterilize bottle and pour the water first and add scoops of the formula powder, then put on the teat and cover, shake it for a while till the powder dissolved and test the temperature before give it to the baby boy.

          He lifted up his baby and feeding him till he felt full, the baby closed his eyes slowly. He smiled and put the bottle on the shrink. He brought him to the bedroom and carefully placed him on his ribcage. He squeezed his cheek affectionately before going back to his sleep. He needed his energy for meeting at 9 am that meant he must be ready around 7 am; he has 3 hours remain for take quick nap.

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          They said most of baby first word would be mom, eumma, haha, lao ma or simple as mother in many language, but he found himself frozen when heard the first word came from his son.

          “Ba..ba..Baba” Yes, that was first word that his son managed to say. Just two syllables enough to make him smile widely for the rest of the day.

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          “Oppa, they are here” Tiffany pointed her finger to the short black hair tall man and little boy who come outside from exit door. They walked fast to them. Without word Chanyeol pulled the tall man with bone crush hug. The tall man laughed and hugged him back.

          Tiffany smiled widely saw this scene and she immediately averted her gaze to the little boy around fourth year-old who hide behind the tall man long legs. They ever met before but the last time was when he was still baby before his father decided to bring him to San Francisco. He chuckled when his son buried his face deeper to his legs.

          “Come on, baby. Don’t be rude, please. Greet auntie Tiffany and uncle Chanyeol” The little boy reluctantly step outside his hiding face to see beautiful woman smile to him and tall man with smile like I’m-on-crack-laugh looking to him. He cringed slightly when the man grabbed his wrist. He looked to his father, he was almost on cry.

          “Oppa, you scare him” Tiffany scolded his husband and kneeled down in front of him. He suppressed his laugh when Chanyeol glared on him.

          “Don’t cry…. Uncle won’t eat you, okay? Come here” Chanyeol let his wrist and Tiffany brought him to her embrace. She pulled away and let the little boy back to his father. The little boy smiled little to his father who nodded at him as if encouraged him.

          “Anyeonghaseyo, My name is Kevin Wu. I’m 4 year-old. Nice to meet you, uncle and auntie. Please, take care me well” He bowed in 90 degree.

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          “Hei, I come again. How have you been? You are happy, right? Sorry, I didn’t bring him with me. Today is his birthday, today is my birthday as new individual as well. They said I’m good father, you must be proud of me. Aren’t you? Our parents spoiled him and trust me they beat each other on spoiling him; Chanyeol and Tiffany don’t offer many helps either. They are worst then our parents sometime. You don’t need to be worry; he is still our sweet lovely and kind hearted boy. He makes many friends at school; his teachers said he is smart one, they love him so dearly. Well, even sometime he made trouble, but it’s normal for children to fight sometime. He is the best thing that ever happened in my life. Thank you. Thank you……”

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          “Sir, you pay for us, but why you didn’t drink anything? One or two glass won’t kill, Sir” He shakes his head.

          “Come on, Kris. You are no fun” Luhan, his friend back on China tell him. He is about to answer when Yixing comes with girls beside him. Kris shifts uncomfortably.

          “You need to have fun” Yixing says then kisses the girl on his lap hungrily.

          “Oppa” One of the girl flirts with him.

          “Sorry, I’m married” He says sternly. Yixing smiles when he hears it.

          “You’re single, Kris. Sehun passed ….. “ Luhan doesn’t continue his words when he sees Kris’ sudden expression change. Luhan is about to say sorry, but Kris smiles to him reassure he is okay.

          “I guess, I have to go it’s almost midnight. I promise to Kevin I’ll back as soon as possible. See you tomorrow, guys”

          Kris watches his son sleeping face, his son the best thing ever happened in his life. He closes his eyes and touches the ring she used to wear, the ring that he uses on his necklace. And tears streaming down his face, he tries to forgive himself, but he never let his heart to forgive himself.

“I can’t live without you. You can live without me”