YOochunieee!!

this is my 5th recording for you..so i hope my voice is sticking into your memories more..

remember during our concert in NY..when i told you to stop smoking?

you whined like a baby but you still did what i told you

i was so happy...

that meant you really love me that much...

and i do love you too...more than anyone in the world..

Park Yoochun

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Yoochun sighed as the recording ended...it has been 3 days since they took junsu home because he was insisting it..he lives with s again since now he doesnt have to hide his illness...yoochun would listent to the recordings when he is alone or when junsu is already asleep...he didnt want his lover to see him crying...

He walked out of his room and walked towards the kitchen..he got a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it then he sat down on the sofa in the living room...

Jae also came out from their room for a glass of water but noticed yoochun sitting alone...so he went and sat down beside him,..

"chun..why are you still awake?" jae asked

"i can't sleep hyung..." yoochun replied...

"what's bothering you? common tell me...you know ill always listen..." jae said holding yoochun's hand

"i cant live without him hyung...junsu is my life...it hurts that he is suffering like that..i love him too much...if he leaves me..i..i might just go after  him..." yoochun said tears flowing from his eyes...

"yoochun ah..dont think that way...you said if there's one thing you learned from siwon and that miracles do happen..then they do..you just have to have faith .. we are all hoping junsu will get  better..so we just have to pray and take care of him..." jae said trying to give yoochun a positive kind of support and advice...

"what would you feel hyung if yunho hyung was the one dying? wont you be thinking the same way as i do?" yoochun said...jae and yunho hasnt got bakc together officially but he knew they love eachother still...jae might have had joong ki and fallen inlove but he knew jae never really stopped loving yunho..it might have lessened ..but it never stopped..

"i..i know what you mean chun...but aside from our faith love keeps us going...i will think the same way as you do if it were yunho..but because i also love him too much..i wont let negative things occupy my mind..and instead ill try my best to take care of him and love him...we dont know what the future  holds chun...so might as well do everything we can..." jae explained...

"thank hyung..." yoochun uttered as he rest his head on jae's shoulder...

unknown to the two..yunho was listening ...he accidentally eves dropped on the two while on his way to the bathroom... he feels bad abotu junsu's situation..but he cant help feeling happy knowing jae's feelings about him..

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junsu's voice is weaker but he can speak again..tho not for along time because his throat would hurt...he gained weight too because jae wont have him not eating..tho soft foods to not irritate junsu's throat so it wont swell he would make junsu eat a lot...

"i..i think i have to stop being a member of tvxq.." junsu said in a weak voice as he and the others sit down for dinner...

"huh? wae?!" changmin said

"i..i cant sing anymore...and you cant do activities if im sick...so its better if i leave the group..." junsu said tears threatening to fall..

"i wont sing without junsu..." yoochun said

"neither would i..." jae seconded...these three has been the best of friends since their ordeal with sm..and somehow if one was not singing the other two cant sing either..

"so are we.." yunhoa nd changmin said in unison...

"we can just temporarily retire.." yunho suggested..

"no..why would you guys stop just beacuse of me?" junsu struggled to ask..

"because we are one junsu...we will do this till you get better.." yunho said in his leader tone

"then what if i die huh?! you'll stop singing all together?! will you?! junsu agrily said "you cant stop your lives just because im dying!"

"junsu!" jae yelled "you are not dying! you are just sick! and yes! i will stop singing if you die!"

yoochun held the crying junsu and yunho held jaejoong...

"hyung...the five of us is tvxq..not four..not two...but five...during the years you three were not with us..singing as tvxq was very ahrd for me and yunho hyung..so imagine singing with only the four of us without you will be as heartbreaking..." changmin explained.. "plus we believe and we have faith that you will survive this..it may be a 1 to 1 million of a hcance but we believe hyung..so please keep the faith with us..."

"minnie is right junsu..." yoochun said " we will walk with you through all of this..so dont try to run away from us neh?"

junsu wiped his tears... "mianhae hyung.." he said to jae.. "mianhae guys...." he said to the other three

jae got up and hugged junsu...his favorite baby brother in the group...

"we have to tell our fans tho...we could tell them we just want to rest ..." yunho said taking his seat again..

"no..we should tell them the truth...we owe it to them...and if ever something happens..they wont be shocked.." junsu said firmly.. he knew cassiopeians have at least the right to know...

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a few days later when junsu said he could talk clearly they held a mini fanmeet/presscon

they did sing a few but avoided having junsu to dance so they got him to sit on a chair on the stage while they did the dance... junsu wont sing much too since his throat is not in its best conditions leaving the fans wondwering...

then after the big announcement was revealed..

"hello every one we are TVXQ!" the five greeted

"thank you for coming today and we appreaciate it so much how our beloved cassiopeias still support us thorugh the years..and we cant thank you enough...today..we called for this fanmeet and we are surprised tho for a very short notice you guys still managed to come..but we have a big announcement and we hope you guys will understand us.." yunho said finishing..

fans were whispering..what could happen..are they disbanding again...

then junsu stood up and took center stage with his other members behind him holding eachother

"first i want to thank you all for the love and support for all these years...from our first debut..to when we separated for a while to when we reunited as one...but unfortunately we have to retire for a while..." everyone was gasping at junsu's statement.. "but not becuase we are disbanding..but because.." he paused..because he was trying to hold back his tears.. "but because i am sick...i have cancer and i might loose my voice..so we are asking for time..and hopefulyl you will wait for us till i get better...i promise to do my best to be a survivor and hopefully come  back and sing once again for you guys...please always keep the faith..." and with his last words he broke down making his band mates hug him and cry too

the fans were also crying...it hurt them so much to find out about junsu's condition...how can their angel be sick....

support from fans all over the world were sent to tvxq..no cassiopeian felt any resentment and because junsu's health was more important they expressed their sympathy and their love by telling them that they will wait for them....

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days later junsu was just finished taking a shower..he stared at himself in the mirror... he thought he gained wweight from all the feeding he got from jae but as he scaneed himself he thougth that he looked rather skinny...he looked at his body and found several bruises...not to mention his thinning hair from chemotherapy...

tears fell from his eyes as he thought of yoochun and the others if ever he might not make it...

then suddenly he was coughing so hard again..blood was spilling from his mouth...

he felt dizzy...

and before he knew it everything went black....

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changmin heard junsu coughing and it worried him ...he called for his other hyungs before they ran to the bathroom..the coughing stopped and a loud thud was heard..

"get the key to the bathroom!" yunho instructed changmin who scrambled quickly to ge the key

they opened the door and found junsu lying unconscious on the floor..blood in his mouth..

"JUNSU!"

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sudden author's note:

just right now i was watching a dream team episode and i thought of putting someone into this story in the future chapters

and the artist will be KARAM of D-NA/DGNA/The Boss

look forward to it^^,

-mspiggyrabbit