Sehun woke up with a heavy head, as if something was hammering him. He rolled slowly, feeling the warmth of the bed beside him, he shot up.

“Ouch!”. He touched his head. Damn, I hate hangovers

He looked around. Where am I? Why is the bed warm and the sheets tousled?

His eyes scanned the room and spotted a shirt and a pair of pants splayed out on the floor. Sehun widened his eyes, he’d knew those clothing anywhere and the stains on it.

Lu-Luhan Hyung? Why is Luhan hyung’s shirt here? Did… Did…?

He gasped when he heard the doorknob turned, revealing a damp-haired Luhan in a bathrobe.

“Luhan hyung?”

“Don’t worry, Sehun. I’m leaving”. Luhan said as he picked up his clothes.

Sehun crawled towards Luhan and grabbed his wrist.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I was…”

Luhan sighed, he didn’t look at Sehun. “I know, Sehun. You were drunk last night. Don’t worry, you don’t have to feel guilty, we didn’t do anything last night.”

Before Sehun  could say another word, Luhan already ran out of the room.

Sehun hugged his knees and sighed. “Why do I always do the wrong thing?”, he whispered, a drop of tear rolling down his cheek.

-----

Sehun came out of his room, tottering, his arms searching for supports, trying to hold the wall, his head spinned and throbbed really bad, his legs wobbled as if he was sinking to the ground, he fell. Sehun closed his eyes, but the thud didn’t come, instead he felt a pair of strong arms held his waist, prevented him from falling.

“Are you alright?”

Hearing the voice, Sehun stumbled away but only result him fell against the couch. “Please, please. Don’t come any closer.”

“You’re in so much pain, Sehun. I’m begging you let me take care of you.”

“No, Hyung, please. You don’t need to, I don’t want you to.”

“Sehun, please.” He sat beside Sehun on the couch. “I care about you, Sehun. I don’t want you to get hurt”

“Tao Hyung…”, Sehun breathed out. “It’s too late for that. You should’ve done that long ago.”

Tao reached out to touch Sehun’s back, the younger flinched and scooted away. “Please let me make it up to you somehow.”

“How?”. Sehun scoffed. “You’re a greedy person, Huang Zitao. Have you ever cared about anyone? If you’re doing this, what about Yifan Hyung? You’re going to leave him for me the way you left me for him? I’ve loved you since long ago, before Yifan’s arrival in your life, before debut, before Luhan, before those times he left you alone with no one. It’s always been you.”

Sehun sobbed loudly, burying his face in his palms. “Can’t you see? I gave you everything I was, all my broken heartbeats, all my tears every night. Do you know how it feels to be so in love with the one who doesn’t even care and doesn’t want to care? When Yifan Hyung left… I-I thought that you could finally come to love me, that you’d go for the one that mended your broken heart instead of the one that keeps on breaking your heart.”

“Sehun… I’m sorry… I thought you loved Lu—“

“I was forced, Hyung! Trainee days… You always left me to ogle on Yifan Hyung! But Luhan hyung was always there for me at the end of the day, guilt washed all over me, he loved me with his everything, I can still see it in his eyes! I’m not blind… Then I thought, maybe I should move on, cause you know that you will not move on until you open up to new people. So I tried, but it was so damn hard to know that we will debut together, you and I. I can’t look only at Luhan when you’re there everyday smiling to us, to me, greeting me, hugging me everytime we reunite.”

“Sehun…”

“No! Zitao hyung, stop… Please…”

“Sehun, listen.” Sehun hit Tao’s arm roughly and stood up. But Tao pulled him down and hugged him. “Sehun, Oh Sehun. Listen please. I know I’m not a good man. I’ve put you through so much because of my oblivion. The things we did in the past, should just stay in the past, Sehun—“

Sehun pushed Tao. “You’re a jerk, you’re a ing jerk! I hate you!”

“Sehun, I love you, I do. But I love Kris and he loves me. I can’t—“

“You love me, I love you. What more do we need?”

“Sehun, if you and I get together the fans will—“

“To the hell with the fans, Tao! If you don’t want to be with me you don’t have to use the fans as an excuse!”

Tao pushed Sehun down kissed him harshly, smashing their lips together to shut the younger up. Sehun pushed Tao’s shoulder, and the latter pulled away.

“I love you, Sehun. I want you.”, Tao whispered against Sehun’s cheek. “But we can’t be together, what about Kris and Luhan?”

Sehun leaned to kiss Tao again, all teeth and tongue this time. “They don’t have to know, we’ll stay with them. Please, Zizi, love me…”

“You’ll always have a place in my heart, you know that?”

“I’m all yours, you can have me any way you like. Hell, I’d go surgery to be a girl if you want me to.”

Tao chuckled. “You’re mine and the world doesn’t have to know.”

Sehun smiled, he was happy even if he only got to be Tao’s secret lover. “Speaking of the world, where’s everyone else?”

“They are out to the gym. I was in the bathroom, I guess they forgot about me and they just didn’t want to wake you up cause hangover. By the way, Jongin was worried about you earlier.”

“Ah, yes. Jongin has always been a worry wart when he’s always the one getting injured. Let’s make breakfast then, Hyung”

“But I want rainbow as a breakfast~”

Sehun hit Tao’s chest softly, “Yah! No!”

“Okay, bunny”

Tao stood up and pulled Sehun who latched into his arm after. He mentally sighed, Sehun really loved him. What are you going to do now, Huang Zitao?

-----

“Channie, please. Tell me how to have arms like yours, please. I’ve been working out since forever and it’s still lanky as hell.”

“No, baby. Too much progesterone in you to have such arms.”

“Park Chanyeol!”

And Baekhyun almost threw Chanyeol with a weight.

Kris eyed his favourite friends and smiled, Chanyeol had always been the one who lifted him up when he falls and Baekhyun was always there to give simple motherly advice.

“Chanbaek always fight, don’t they?”

Kris turned to see Luhan beside him, smiling. “Yes, they always fight.”

“But they rarely have real fights, right?”

“Right.”

“Yifan, I’m worried about Sehun.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“We left Tao in the dorm, Yifan. God knows what they’re doing in there.”

“Luhan, you worry too much.”

Luhan sat on the weightlifting cushion in front of him. He sighed, “I’m worried about Sehun. I don’t think I should tell you this but Sehun loves Tao very much, he calls him in his sleep.”

Kris flinched at Luhan’s words. “I trust Tao. We can trust Tao. Even if you’re worried about Sehun, you don’t have to worry about Tao. He loves me, he would never betray our love and he’s never the type to break other’s heart, Luhan ge.”

“But Yifan…”

Kris patted Luhan’s head soothingly. “This is how me and Tao survived our relationship, Luhan ge. We trust each other, I know we did have a hard time when I went to Canada but we passed through it. And now, we’re stronger than ever.”

“I adore you, Wu Yifan.” Luhan stood and hugged Kris.

“Are you even serious? Krishan?”

They pulled away at the voice, Chen.

“What do you want, Jongdae?”. Kris snapped, because Jongdae means irritating words and life ruiner.

“Nothing”, Chen threw his hands up. “Just wondering are you guys making a revenge on Taohun or something, who knows they could be ing in the dorm right now. Everyone can see Sehun begs for Tao’s up his and Tao needs a hole to ”

Kris snarls at Chen. “Don’t bad mouth Tao and Sehun!”

Chen snorted, “I don’t know why you think Tao is loyal to you, he basically ed Sehun when you were there before. Imagine what he’s doing when you’re not around now.”

Kris’ little patience broke, he plunged his fist towards Chen but only to be stop by his boyfriend.

“Gege, don’t”

Kris turned right away and hugged his beloved panda. “Taozi, baby!”

“Hey, tiger.”, Tao purred. Kris immediately shoved his tongue down Tao’s mouth, savouring the taste of his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Slow down, Gege. They don’t need a oaction here.”, Tao giggled.

Kris smiled and looked at Sehun who was behind Tao. “Thank you, Sehun.”

“For what, Hyung?”

“For bringing him to me.”

Sehun smiled a little and glanced at Tao, he could see the other’s nervous glint inside his eyes. He knew that they both feel guilty at Kris’ word. But they had to play it if they want to stay together.

“Of course, Tao hyung loves you.”

-----

Luhan slumped himself on the bed, kicking the empty air.

They didn’t do anything? And Sehun said that… Does it mean that Sehun had let go of his fellow maknae?

“Luhan hyung. Would you sleep with me tonight?”

“Se-Sehun, what do you mean?”

Sehun laughed a little. “I don’t mean like that, hyung. I mean like you know share a bed? I’ve been sleeping alone for quite some time now. It felt good this morning to wake up with a warm bed next to me. And you don’t have to see annoyed Yixing hyung again, right?”

Luhan smiled. “Okay. You go first, I’ll be right there.”

-

Luhan knocked at Sehun’s door, less than a minute the rainbow boy opened it for him.

“Luhan hyung! Come in!”

Luhan walked inside and gasped when he saw a stitch doll at the edge of the bed. “Stitch doll, Sehun?”

“Oh, yes.” Sehun scratch his not-itchy head. “I, kinda bought it for you with Zitao hyung before we went back earlier.” Sehun fiddled a little. “I reserved that bed just for you, hyung! Clean like you always like it!”

“What are you trying to do, Sehun?”

Sehun pouted, giving Luhan a little chill. “Why are you suspicious with me, Lulu? I want to do what Tao hyung do and love you. Like you always say, maybe I could come to love you.”

“You’re not trying to get in my pants?”

“Am I really that low in your eyes, hyung?”, Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed. “I like you, I always do. But Tao hyung’s shadow was always there to dictate me. I want it to be different this time, so I can make you happy. Can’t I?”

Sehun was taken aback at his own words

 Are all of those lies?

“Sehun, please don’t do this if your heart says no.”

Sehun hugged the smaller boy tightly then kissed the crown of his head. “My heart doesn’t say no this time. It wants to love you, to embrace you. Please, give me the chance, help me let Tao hyung go.”

“I guess we can do that.”. And Luhan kissed Sehun, conveying all his feelings into that one kiss, hoping that the young maknae could feel all his pain.

And Sehun wrapped his arms around Luhan. Maybe those words weren’t lies, maybe Sehun did want Luhan to do that. And why was this when Tao was already (secretly) his?

-----

Sehun closed the window slowly so he wouldn’t wake Luhan up. He looked around and spotted a boy with a red hoodie waving at him. He clutched his jacket tightly, the cold weather sinking into his bones.

“Bunny~”

Sehun kissed the boy slowly, warming himself and tangling his arms on the boy’s neck.

“Hunhun, baby, not here. Let’s go so we can go back before the sun rises.”

They entered the taxi that Tao called earlier, taking them somewhere only they know.

“I love sneaking out with you. I’ll do anything as long as it’s with you. You’ll always hold me, right?”

Tao wrapped his arms around his secret lover and intertwined their other hands. “I don’t know why you still love me after what I did to you but all I know is I love that you love me.”

And Tao leaned down to connect their lips.

Hello, another update! Please forgive all my grammatical mistakes, typos and everything.

Guys, I think my story is kinda boring is it not? It's all talk and less action. And maybe you lot will hate me for this chapter. Please just don't, this is actually an opening of what to come, a huge fight. Please tell me what you think about this story :[

I wrote this chapter for my special baby there, yes you know who you are, who kept on messaging me on LINE every single day. "Unnie, how's your story?" "Unnie, when are you gonna update?". I love you, kay? Maybe without you I would update this story when I finish uni XD

Don't forget to comment, subscribe and upvote okay? Your feedback is very necessary for the continuation of this story. Your comments light up my dark days.

21bangsfangirl