[unedited]

“Stop lying for him!”

 

Kevin stared at Soohyun whose eyes suddenly flared with anger and took a step back from the man out of pure instinct. The older took a step forward but quickly backed away when he noticed the increased distance between the two after he yelled at the younger boy. Seeing the fear in the younger’s face, Soohyun reached out for him.

 

“You don’t have to lie for him Kevin. You can’t save him, he deserves whatever he’s getting.” Soohyun stepped forward when Kevin didn’t take his effort to reach out to him. “Just tell me the truth.”

 

Kevin hesitated for a short moment but it was long enough that Soohyun dropped his hand. He averted his eyes back to the ground as if absorbed at the texture and color of the blood red carpet.

 

“You won’t believe me anyways. Even now, you don’t believe me.”

 

“It’s not you I don’t believe Kevin, it’s him.”

 

Kevin’s lip tightened to a straight line. “Then believe me when I say he’s not who you think he is.” after another short pause Kevin whispered quietly almost to himself. “I’m not who you think I am.”

 

“Let’s go back Kevin, we can-”

Soohyun’s words was drowned by a loud shout down the hall and a click of what horrifyingly sounded like a gun being loaded.

 

“Hey! Who’s there?”

 

Before Kevin could question what was going on he was being dragged away by Soohyun who brought him to the nearest balcony window. Catching his breath, Kevin placed a hand on his chest over his over exhilarated heart, head buckled forward from the unexpecteds stop. Wasting no time Soohyun popped open the window with ease and began to climb out legs first, hands gripping the frame.

 

“Soohyun…. what… what the hell?” Kevin huffed out, still catching his breath.

 

The older glanced down below him at the height of the fall he’ll soon endure a few moments later before answering back. “We may or may not have broken and entered this building… maybe.” Kevin stared in astonishment.

 

“We did what?”

 

“Well technically we only entered, there was no breaking of anything until now I guess. Sorry window.” Soohyun shrugged and released his hands on the window. There was a thump followed by a groan when Kevin stuck his head out to see his friend laying awkwardly on the grass near a scrub which Kevin guessed he meant to land on but missed.

 

“Soohyun.” Kevin hissed into the night air, careful not to be too loud in case the security guy with the gun came running his way. “Soohyun!”

 

“Here.” a hand came into view shone by the moonlight above the night clouds then the rest of Soohyun’s body emerged from the shadows. “I don’t think I’ve broken anything either so that’s nice to know. Okay jump Kevin.”

 

“Are you crazy? I’m not jumping from the 4th four!” Kevin couldn’t believe what he was even saying at the moment, never would he have guessed that he would be at his old high school dorm jumping out of a window in the middle of the night with his friend after being in a coma for months from having a mental pipe empale through his chest cavity. But then again, Soohyun will have a harder time believing what he is going to tell him later if he doesn’t get shot in the from crawling out of the window.

 

“Well actually it’s more like the 3rd floor because the balcony has a ladder that goes down to the 2nd floor windows and the hill on this side of the building is leaning towards you so scratch that, it’s more like you’re jumping off of the 1st  floor. Now shut up and jump unless you want to go to jail!” Soohyun was a few feets away from the window, his legs spread and bend at a squatting position with both arms open as if Kevin was a princess that was being saved from a tower.

 

The voice down the hall got closer and taking a look over his shoulder Kevin could see the outline of a tall security man standing at the end of the hall with a very deadly looking gun in his hands.

 

“Hey!”

Kevin looked back down the window and saw that Soohyun reached his arms out higher, a smile on his face.

 

“I don’t think I can jump Soohyun… it’s too high.” fear evident in Kevin’s quivering voice.

 

“It’s okay Kevin!” Soohyun raised his arms higher. “I trust you. About Kiseop and Aj. I trust you. So trust me back. Now will you keep your voice down before one of us gets a bullet wound and just jump already!”

 

Not needing anymore encourage but the visual of having a hole in his Kevin bite down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he threw himself out of the window.

 

“That’s it Kevin, just slowly lower yourself down and gent-” the rest of the words on Soohyun’s tongue got shoved back into his throat when Kevin’s body crashed into his.

 

“Quick let’s go!” Kevin swiftly got off of the elder and began to run in the direction of their parked car at the other side of the building without helping Soohyun recover from the blow. “Soohyun hurry up!”

 

“Easy for you to say.” the older said, staggering to get up and breath normally again. After quickly dusting off a few clumps of grass off, Soohyun jogged to catch up to Kevin and they ran back to the car.

 

“I think that was quite the adventure. I’ve never jumped out of a window before.” Kevin said after a few miles separated himself and Soohyun from their old high school dorm room.

 

“Says the one who jumped out of a window and landed on a body.”

 

“It was your fault for bringing us into that situation anyways.” Kevin glared.

 

“Well it got you to talk so you can jump out any window you like Kevin and land on my body whenever you like okay.” Soohyun kept his eyes on the road but he noticed a shiver go through Kevin’s body from the his peripheral view.

 

They sat in silence through the car ride back until Soohyun couldn’t take it anymore and coughed in an obviously fake manner.

 

“So. Are you going to tell me what’s going on or no?” Soohyun glanced at the younger but he didn’t meet his eyes. “Because I didn’t let you jump out of a window onto my body and almost get shot in the for nothing you know.” He allowed Kevin to collect his thoughts for a moment, knowing that what he is going to tell him isn’t easy so he started to hum a song from his favorite anime to fill in the quietness.

 

Kevin looked at Soohyun when he hummed and it reminded him of when they were younger and Soohyun used to hum when they studied for exams together. The thought was completely irrelevant to everything that was going on at the moment but the memory made him smile. Soohyun was still concentrated on driving so Kevin took the opportunity to study the older’s face. It was different from the other times he’s looked at him, it wasn’t a quick glance or simple look in the ear. Kevin was looking for his trust in him.

 

“I didn’t mean to lie.”

 

Soohyun kept his eyes on the road but gave a small nod in response. “No one really does.”

 

“You won't understand why I did this. You won’t know how much I’m saving by destroying everything else. I had to do it.”

 

Kevin’s voice was small and delicate but strong. He looked at Soohyun until he looked at him back and for that moment Kevin saw what he was searching for when he looked at Soohyun. He trusted him.

 

“What happened?”

 

Kevin finished setting up the dinner table and filled each rice bowl with equal proportions as the others. Placing one in front of the first three chairs near him Kevin went back to the kitchen to retrieve the main dish.

 

A small creak of Jaeseop’s bedroom opened when the young 13 year old passed by the darkened hallway. A soft moan escaped from behind the door then the door slammed fast. Kevin heard the noise but pushed it to the back of his thoughts before continuing to set the table for dinner.

 

At the time he never noticed that his two cousins was missing from the dinner round when dinner started. He never noticed how Jaeseop kept his room locked all the time or that when it was his turn to shower Kiseop would sneak into Jaeseop’s room alone. He never question the bruises on Kiseop’s neck or the cut on his lips that he claims were from bitting his mouth in his sleep. He never noticed a thing. Until he saw it himself.  

 

His aunt and uncle were both out at a dinner party at work so the kids had the house for himself. He hadn’t seen Kiseop for nearly an hour when he first excused himself to get a glass of water when they were playing video games together.

 

After checking the kitchen and his own room again for his cousin Kevin walked past the hallway when he heard a soft purr of a moan from the closet where they stored their washing machine.

 

The door was opened a crack and as Kevin got closer he could make out the bodies of two boys pressed firmly together in an embrace. One was sitting on top of the washing machine with it to cover up his groans from the older boy pressed in between his legs, arms wrapped around his body hungrily tearing open his shirt to reveal a pale white torso scattered with bruises.

 

They were both fully dressed but it seemed that if Kevin hadn’t came any sooner that would of changed. The older boy tilted the younger’s jaw up to open his mouth as he greedily pressed his lips onto his, trailing down his neck to the collar bone. The younger’s breathes became thicker and heavier the lower the kisses went, his eyes opening slowly then shot open when he saw Kevin standing frightened at the door.

 

“Kev-” he started to say but Kevin ran out of the scene as soon as he’d came.

 

“You don’t have to continue Kevin” Soohyun said gently, taking a hand that wasn’t resting on the steering wheel to wipe the younger boy’s tears. As of that moment Kevin hadn’t even realized that he was crying but sure enough the tears flowed down his cheek and dangled at the edge of his jaw before collecting onto the collar of his shirt.

 

“No it’s okay.” Kevin roughly rubbed the tears away and cleared his voice. “I can continue.”

 

Soohyung looked worried but he let him continued.

 

“I ran out of the room and Jiseop came running after me. He spun me around to face him and held onto my hands. His shirt was still open, the bruises everywhere an-” Kevin’s voice hitched and he stopped cold. Frustrated, he clinched his fist together and banged them against his leg. Dark spots of tears clouded his view but he could feel the soft touch of Soohyun’s hand on top of his.

 

“You don’t have to continue Kevin. I understand.” Looking back at his hyung, Kevin gave a small smile.

 

“That’s not why I’m crying Soohyung.”  

 

“Why are you crying then?”

 

“It’s what he said to me when he caught up to me. It’s Kiseop’s reason for doing what he did.” taking a deep breath Kevin looked out the window and Kiseop’s strong yet broken voice filled his ears. “He was hurt and loved by someone he hated. I let him hurt me because that’s the only way he knows how to love Kevin.”

 

The car was filled with Kiseop’s words to Kevin as a young boy desperate to save his brother and at the same time it echoed Kevin’s own voice repeating those words. Kevin didn’t have to look at Soohyun’s face to see the disbelief and twinge in his expression. Kevin had the same look on his when he first discovered Kiseop and Jaeseop’s long kept secret.

 

“I don’t quite understand Kevin. Why did Kiseop allow himself to be hurt by Jaeseop like that, he’s his brother but-”

 

“There’s more.” Kevin interrupted. “There’s so much more.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

The sun had long since settled and the moon hovered high above in the sky within the lingers of clouds cradling the stars over the trees and building below. As they drove by lamp posts Kevin’s own reflection shown on the window and he stared at himself straight in the eye.

 

As Kevin speaks, another memory resurfaces.

 

“Jaeseop’s mother had multiple boyfriends before she re-married to Kiseop’s dad. She was alot different than she is now and her choices of men definitely changed. None of them stayed longed according to Jaeseop but one did. I guess he took an interest in not only just his mom.”

 

Kevin sat at the kitchen counter doing his homework as the grownups around him spoke among themselves, ignoring Kevin’s presence. They talked as if he wasn’t there or as if he took no interest in their conversation but one familiar name caught his attention.

 

“I don’t understand why she stayed with him as long as she did really. He was a horrible boyfriend to her.”

 

“Well I heard he got along well with her son, that’s why she let him stayed. I heard that when she stayed after hours for work he would offer to have her son sleep over at his house.” the man said with admiring praise.

 

“I suppose that’s sweet but don’t you ever wonder why they broke up if things between them were well?”

 

“Something about an incident involving the son but I don’t quite remember. I think a police was involved too.”

 

“I always knew that kid was bad from the start. I heard he tried to run away from home a few times after she started to date him. Can you believe the kid, after all those nice things he’s done for him.” the woman sneered, “Let me tell you, dating someone who’s already had a kid is hard and he should be grateful that he was ever a part of his life.”  

 

“Jaeseop was…” Soohyun struggled to continue his sentence, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter to keep his composure.

 

“.” Kevin finished. After talking about the things that he’s kept secret for nearly more than half of a decade it was surprising easy to reveal it when he started. His heavy heart felt lighter and for once in his life Kevin wasn’t afraid.

 

Soohyun was still starstruck for words and he didn’t hide it when he stumbled for something else to say.

 

“Kiseop never told me who he was or exactly what he did but I didn’t have to ask. It radiated off everything he did and who is now. He was never the same after that. He became broken and no one pulled him back together. His mother never loved him in a way that was fulfilling so he found it in someone else who was poison to him. Jaeseop died when his mother let that man into their lives, his life. What’s here now, is the remains of a young boy who never felt whole.” Kevin’s eyes filled with tears again and he turned to look at Soohyun.  “This is why I did it. I can’t leave him Soohyun, I know he’s hurt and he needs me so much more than ever.”  

 

By this time they have arrived at Kevin’s apartment and Soohyun parked in the nearest open spot closest to the door. Putting the car on Park Soohyun turned to Kevin and held his hand, a gesture that showed both kindness and strength.

 

“I trust you Kevin. More than ever now. But I need to now, why did you get involved, why not leave it to Kiseop to take care of him? Why did you let this happen to you?”

 

Kevin looked into the eyes of his hyung and he knew he had to tell him even if that broke his trust in him.

 

“He’s my family. A few weeks after I found out about what Kiseop and Jaeseop had been doing together it was the perfectly escape for Kiseop to take and stop it. He cut that part of their relationship off and Jaeseop couldn’t take it. He became reckless.” Kevin can still vividly remember the emotional outbursts of Jaeseop in his room when he thought no one was home and the paranoia strained on his face in the house.

 

“He became so afraid of the monster who harmed him that he turned into one himself.” Kevin lightly traced a now faded small scar on his right elbow where Jaeseop accidently pushed him too hard when they got into an argument. “At first it was small, a kiss here and there because it seemed to ease his manic outlashes and calm his mental stability but it grew worse and I… I grew with it. I never thought it would turn to this.”

 

Soohyun released Kevin’s hands and patted his hand. “You can’t blame yourself.” The older pulled Kevin into a much needed hug and allowed him to crumble underneath his touch for a brief moment of vulnerability. Having not much to say left afte that Soohyung patted Kevin’s hand again and sighed.

 

“Things just got a lot more complicated.”

 

Kevin leaned back into his seat and sighed back almost with a chuckle, his eyes looking up at his apartment. “Yeah, a lot more complicated.” his living room light was on and there was a man standing at the window.

“Eli.”  

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Hello people! It's been quite some time since I've updated and I would just like to thnak any new viewers for taking time to read my story. It really means a lot to me and I hope you enjoy this new chapter. [NOTE: this chapter is open to revision so I may come back and change some things here later but I will note that at the top if I do later on]

anyways summer is almost here and I am just itching to leave school but just a few more weeks, we can do it! Good luck to anyone who are taking their final exams soon and good luck to myself on my nursing certification exam this June! Oh gosh I hope I don't screw up (>///<)

side note: I met Gene Luen Yang who wrote American Born Chinese, The shadow Hero and Boxer & Saints and many more. He is such a funny and down to earth guy so if you haven't read any of his works please do because you will not regret it. 

thank you for viewing please subscribe if you likey ~

 

P.S - I completely have no social life besides the internet so if any of you guys are looking for a chat or is simply as bored as I am please dont be afriad to message me, I don't bite unless threatened