[proofread & edited]

Kevin’s lips softly trembled as he lightly pressed them against Eli’s, for a few seconds, nothing happened. Squeezing his eye’s tighter, Kevin pressed his lips harder against Eli’s. But nothing happened. Eli didn’t smoothly wrap his arms around Kevin as he did at the party last night or as Kevin’s dreamt of, he didn’t pull back, and he didn’t push Kevin way.

Eli didn’t kiss Kevin back.

With trembling lips and eyes shut tightly, Kevin gave Eli a small brush of the lips as a few tears slid down Kevin’s flustered cheeks.

Pulling back, Kevin could now see Eli’s face and what type of expression he held. But he didn’t’ want to know, he didn’t want to see the hate, the disappointment, he didn’t want to face it.

Eli stood completely still in front of Kevin, when he had kissed him, his arms that were once wrapped around Kevin’s body and held his face in his gentle palms fell to his side once Kevin’s lips connected to his.

"Kevin.." Eli said in a quiet voice.

His voice sounded distance to Kevin and the words, he didn’t kiss me back… he didn’t kiss me back… he didn’t kiss me back, echoed throughout Kevin’s head.

“Of course you wouldn’t… why… why did I ever think you would… I’m so… so…” Tears were b in Kevin’s eyes and he fought back a choking cry, “sorry.”

Kevin left the kitchen, and to his dismay, Eli didn’t chase after him. That night, Eli slept on the coach in the living room.

The next day, Eli didn't bother to wake up Kevin... nor did he even talk to him. For the whole day, since Eli was the only one who had classes, he left for school early in the morning even though his classes didn’t start until 3PM and ended at 6. When his classes ended, he stayed at school and wandered on campus. It wasn’t until half past 8 did he come home.

By the time he came home, Kevin had gone out to the gas station to buy more milk so Eli went into their room and grabbed all the stuff that he needed. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to go back inside that room for a while.

Eli waited by the living room for Kevin back so he could talk to him, though he didn't know exactly what he would say to him..

But Kevin never came back, it was until early the next morning did he come back. Eli was lying unconscious on the couch with a thin blanket slipping off him and falling onto the floor.

Knowing how heavy of a sleeper Eli was, Kevin relaxed and went into the kitchen to grab a few things to snack on and run back into his room, or so that was his plan. Kevin wasn’t as kin as to how he would manage to avoid Eli any longer, it’s only been 2 days and he already had trouble with trying to sneak off to the bathroom when Eli wasn’t around. But it was the weekend and neither had any classes so they were both home. It was hard avoiding Eli then.

Passing by the living room, Kevin couldn’t help but stop and gaze at Eli sound asleep on the couch. He hesitated the thought but gave up in the end, walking as quietly as he could, Kevin approached Eli and picked up his fallen blanket and gently laid it on top of him, tucking him in. Peering down at him, Kevin crouched down and carefully laid his head on the couch, making sure not to touch Eli in case it may wake him up.

Kevin studied Eli’s face and as creepy as it may sound to himself or anybody else, Kevin could never get enough of looking at Eli’s face. He had the most gorgeous face ever.

Ever since childhood, Kevin always thought Eli has the best face, compared to himself who everyone always teased as “girly”, Eli’s features was the least to say, charming.

Breaking his own rule about trying not to touch Eli, Kevin a stray hair away from Eli’s face and resisting but failed, he slowly leaned in closer to lightly brush his lips against Eli’s forehead.

Getting up, a warm blush came across Kevin’s face at the realization of what he’d just done.

Oh gosh Kevin, when did you become such a creep? First watching them while they slept, now you’re just touching them too!

“Oh gosh… I’m such a creep...”

Just as Kevin turned to leave, a hand grabbed the edge of his shirt.

“I don’t quite remember the last time you kissed me in my sleep.” Eli mumbled, his grip still on Kevin’s shirt. “When was the last time you did that, 5^th, 7^th grade?”

Kevin stayed quite for a moment but sighed and turned around to face Eli, his face smuggled with annoyance. “If you were wake… you should have said something.”

“And that would be rude, considered that you were whispering dirty things in my ears as I slept.”

“I was not whispering dirty things in your ears!” Kevin exclaimed which got a smile from Eli.

“There, you’re finally talking. I thought you’d never talk to me again.” Eli’s eyes grew dim, his light hearted smile fading.

Kevin lowered his head so Eli couldn’t read his expression, his hands fumbling with his fingers.

“It was 5^th grade.”

“Huh?”

“That’s the last time I’ve kissed you in your sleep.” Kevin raised his head and made direct eye contact with Eli. “You were sleeping over at my house, it was the same day you got shoved by those boys at our school because they were bullying me. You had all these small little scraps and scratches on your face, I was scared because I was the one who got those injuries on you, because you were protecting me. I wanted to help you.”

A soft smile rose to Eli’s lips, “I think those scraps and cuts barely counts as injuries. And how were you going to make me better? By kissing my face?” there was a faint hint of teasing and laughter in his voice which made Kevin feel at ease, even thought there was still a sense of strong tension in the air.

“I wanted to make you feel better, you were almost crying when those boys pushed you down to the cement ground but you didn’t. You were strong… and really stupid.” Kevin smiled. “Mother always told me that when I’m hurting, a kiss will heal me. She would kiss my band aid when I got a cut so I wanted to heal your cuts too, so…”

“So you kissed me.”

“So I kissed you.”

They both said this at the same time, eyes connected and Eli’s hand no longer holding onto Kevin’s shirt, knowing that this time he wouldn’t run away.

“Can you do it again?” Eli asked, his voice sounding strangely loud in their empty apartment even though he was whispering and the washing machine was on in the next room.

“Do what?” Kevin asked nervously.

Eli didn’t answer right away. He was thinking.

Throughout the whole days since their “kitchen encounter” and Kevin started to dramatically avoid him, Eli’s had a lot of thinking time. During his time, he thought about many things, he thought about why? How? When? What?

But there was one question he always thought about.

Why didn’t I kiss back?

And he’d ask this every day, every hour, every minute, the question constantly torturing him in the back of his mind.

And every time, he’d come up with the same conclusion.

Because I was scared.

But that wasn’t the right answer.

“Heal me, make me feel better because… because I feel so broken inside.” Eli told Kevin, his voice hushed and quailing.

“W-wha… what?”

Why didn’t I kiss you back?

Because you were crying.

And you were crying because of me.

“Kevin…”

Pulling Kevin gently by the hand, he surprisingly fell on top of him effortlessly, as if throughout their talk, he was barely standing up right because he’s legs were trembling so much. Kevin stumbled on top of Eli, who caught him, his face falling softly over Eli’s face, the ends tickling the surface of his cheeks, chin and nose. Eli brought his face closer to Kevin’s.

"Kiss me." Eli whispers, his lips millimeters from Kevin's lips.

Without hesitation, Eli reaches a hand towards Kevin's face and he leans face closer to his until the gap between them closes and their lips finally touched.

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