Cuts Like a Knife

The knife cut right through her lightweight  jacket and sweater.

And he helped her to slowly take them off, leaving her clad only in a t shirt.

Ahjussi then carefully cleaned her wound and tenderly put some salve on.

The cut was long but not deep.

And to Tae-sik's experience, will heal in no time.

Still, he bandaged her arm to keep the wound clean and dry.

As he did that, So-Mi just looked at him over his bent head.

I missed you, she thought.

Did you miss me?

I purposely did not call you.

And I'm so happy you did, even if I did not pick your calls up.

I was confused and guilty ... of actually enjoying my outing with Min Sung-ssi.

But I thought of you every step of the way, Ahjussi.

And at times, wished that it was you with me, instead of him.

And that in turn, made me feel guilty towards Min Sung-ssi.

Wei gurre?

Is this how a person feels ... when they owe another person their life?

It's very disconcerting, you know.

< Are you in love with him? Your Ahjussi? >

Appa said that.

That's ridiculous, isn't it?

Is it even allowed in our context?

< But I don't hate you. Because if I do, I won't have anyone I like. Thinking about it hurts me here. So I won't hate you. >

I said that to you once. When I was 11. When I literally had no one in my life.

So, it was necesary that I have at least one person in my life.

One I can talk too.

Run to.

Be safe with.

But now, I have so many wonderful people around me.

Who loved me, took care of me and keep me company whenever I need them.

But thinking of you, still hurts. Sometimes.

Though this time, in a different way.

And I don't know what that means.

-----

She did not have any school work that night.

So, they both sat on the sofa. Reading.

It was strained between them, for a some strange reason.

The attack episode already discussed and analysed to death.

With no real answer to whom the perpetrators might be.

(Flashback) 

"I'll send you home."

"No. Can I stay here tonight, if you don't mind?"

He stared at her a long while, debating with himself.

"Call your mother and let her know."

(End of flashback)

She did.

But she omitted the account of the attack.

Preferring to tell her parents face to face when she got home the next day.

So, instead they both held their respective books.

But not really reading anything.

After a long while, So-Mi gave up.

Of trying to read.

And trying to fight the turmoil in her head and heart.

Instead, she crawled up the sofa like a kid and laid herself along its length.

And trustingly put her head on his lap.

Without saying anything.

Staring at the wall opposite the sofa.

Until she fell into a fitful sleep.

She's asleep, Tae-sik thought.

It was like déjà vu, as his hand hovered above her head.

Why can't it be natural for me to touch her, he thought.

Like how Chi-gon fondly ruffled her hair a while ago.

Or how Dalseo hugged her goodbye after every meeting.

She's my child too, he thought, using Chi-gon's earlier words.

So, this time he took the courage to actually lay his hand on her head.

Smoothing her hair down and soothing away her nightmares.

And in a way, his too.

He seriously could not describe his feelings when he saw her earlier that afternoon.

- Happy that she was back;

- Alarmed at the state she was in;

- Furious at the attackers;

- Relieved that she could defend herself;

- Worried that the perpetrators meant business; and

- Stumped at how to solve the problem.

< They are dead. All three of em. They swallowed poison capsules, planted in their tooth cavities. > 

Chi-gon had called him awhile ago with the news.

While So-Mi went to her room for a clean sweater.

He did not share the new piece of information with So-Mi.

Fearing the worse.

Who are they dealing with, Tae-sik asked himself?

So cunning and organized.

Who are they really after?

So-Mi or him?

He continued to absently play with her hair.

His mind running a marathon, thinking of the enemy and possible solutions to the problem.

Until exhaustion took over.

And he too leaned back and fell asleep.

One gentle hand on So-Mi's head and another protective one on her shoulder.

At his gentle breathing, did she dare open her eyes and turned in her position.

To stare at his worried but handsome face.

Her hands itched to reach up and smooth away the taut lines between his eyes. 

But she did not dare to.

Ahjussi, don't worry, she thought. We'll get through this. I know we will. 

But her actual feelings did not equal the bravado of her words.

Because in truth, she was scared.

Not for her safety, though, but more of what her Ahjussi would do in retribution.

Hence, her previous reluctance of sharing the threat notes.

But he promised to do it right this time, she recalled. And was glad Tae-sik called Detective Kim for help.

Actually, she did not mind if Ahjussi would have just killed all the bad guys out there.

They deserved it anyways.

It was the consequences of his actions that she did not want.

Hence, she was glad that he was there with her then.

Her sleeping on his lap was just a way of ensuring he would stay there.

But how long can she watch over him?

I have to get to the bottom of this, she thought.

Before things get worse.

Before Ahjussi decided to take matters in his own hands.

So-Mi sighed at her troubled mind.

But after a long while, she too felt sleepy.

And made herself more comfortable on his lap.

Then, with her own palm over his, she finally slept and dreamt of street fights and calloused tender hands.