Let Your Heart Decide

"Appa?"

So-Mi was startled when her father took the mug and spoon from her hands.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Appa..."

"You’ve been stirring my cocoa for almost 20 minutes now."

"Oh? Mianhe."

"Come, my child. Sit here with me."

So-Mi slowly joined her father at the small kitchen table.

"Did you fight with him?"

"Who?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Ahjussi? Ani."

"So, why haven’t you visited him? You’ve been home every afternoon for the last 4 days."

"Appa! This is my home after all," she protested.

He smiled. Glad that she felt that way.

"Talk to me, So-Mi. We’ve always done that in the past, haven’t we?"

She kept silent.

So-Mi was always a contradiction that way.

At most time she was a talkative child, especially when she was happy or excited; but equally often, she can be quiet and reclusive too.

Knowing that like her Ahjussi, she can maintain her silence, Choi Appa prodded further.

"Am I right in saying that you are in-hiding here?"

Her silence ensued.

"The question is, who or what are you hiding from?"

So-Mi continued her silence, preferring to draw imaginary circles on the table top instead.

Her father simply smiled at her actions.

"Do you like him? Your police guy?"

"Why does everyone ask me that?" she pouted.

Her father laughed, glad that she broke her silence at last.

"Who else asked? Your Ahjussi?"

She nodded.

"Isn't that a natural question to ask? Especially from concerned fathers like us?"

"He's not my father!" So-Mi looked up, giving her father a cute but angry glare.

Appa smiled secretly, glad that his trick question was met with an answer. And an adamant one at that.

"So, who is it really are you hiding from? Detective Lee or Tae-sik?"

"I'm not hiding from anyone," she muttered. "Can't I simply stay home nowadays?"

"Aahh..." Her father asked knowingly. "Or are you hiding from yourself? .... And your feelings?"

So-Mi looked up again at her father, asking him with her eyes, to give her the answers she was seeking. To questions she did not even know of.

Choi-Appa looked at his daughter lovingly and once again thanked the powers that be that brought her into his and Choi-Omma's lives.

She has been their source of joy and companionship for the last eight years and he hoped, for many more to come.

"Are you in love with him?"

So-Mi cocked her head, silently asking her father whom he meant.

"Detective Lee?"

Was his question, to which she wrinkled her nose in uncertainty.

Her father smiled. And ask again. This time quietly.

"How about your Ahjussi?"

"Appa!"

So-Mi protested, but the seeds of doubts were already in her eyes.

Choi-Appa smiled softly.

And took a careful sip of his hot cocoa.

Arranging his next words carefully for her.

"It's not wrong you know. And you are right. He is not your father. Nor is he your uncle. Or brother even. So it's not wrong. If you feel something for him."

< So, you feel indebted to him then? >

Do I, So-Mi asked herself. Or something more?

"Nor," Choi-Appa continued. "Is it unusual to have feelings for two men at the same time."

He observed his daughter silently, seeing the myriad of expressions on her face.

Choi-Appa thought about his talks with Tae-sik in the past, and how he was slowly liking the silent man.

A man who spoke volumes without saying much.

And in  a lot of ways, So-Mi at times displayed the same traits.

But then, there was also the upstanding young man, Lee Min Sung.

Strong, affable and with so much potential.

Choi-Appa somehow felt sorry for his daughter and the two impossible choices she had.

"But one day soon, you will need to choose," he said.

He reached out and place his big knobbly hand on her dainty one.

"Let your heart decide, child. Not your head. Your heart will choose for you,"  her father advised her lovingly. "And when it does, I’ll be here to support you."

The communication between father and daughter need not be verbal.

Their hearts spoke to each other.

Choi-Appa felt the turmoil that was in his daughter's heart. And in sync, it worried on her behalf.

So-Mi stood up to stand behind her father; and she hugged him from behind. Tight.

Thanking God of the good fortune He has given her thus far.

"Appa, komawo."

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