Why the Guilt
 

“Detective Lee asked me out again.”

“Go,” Choi Omma encouraged her. “He's a nice man and very good looking too."

"Neh, ara.”

She did not know what was holding her back.

Lee was a respectable officer, charming and funny, and seemed to be really be interested in her.

Though he warned her about the dangers of being out in the street alone, he did support her in her cause.

Her reasons for taking the pictures that she did.

And he introduced her to Senator Song – someone who was campaigning against human trafficking.

So why do I hesitate, she asked herself.

Uninvited, her mind conjectured a dark, serious face with a sad but at times twinkling pair of dark brown eyes.

Ahjussi, she sighed.

I can't be happy with a man until he find his much deserved happiness too, she thought sadly.

“Omma, I'll be home late tomorrow,” she announced.

“Are you going to that Ahjussi's place again?” He mother asked.

“Uhuh.”

“Be careful, So-Mi, he can be a bad man. He did, after all served time in prison.”

Omma’s vision of good and evil was as clear cut as black and white.

There were no gray areas in her book.

“For me,” So-Mi said adamantly. “He was in prison because he killed for me; and I will never ever forget that.”
 

-----

She did not understand it then.

But as she grew older, she knew.

And understood.

That her mother was a drug addict.

That her mother was taken and killed because she messed with the wrong people.

And So-Mi got caught in the line of fire.

And her Ahjussi came to save her.

And killed again. Because of her.

And he paid for it. By serving time.

Also as she grew older, she understood that such deeds were not done for the sheer pleasure of it.

It was accomplished due to deep friendship. Family ties. And love.

Her Ahjussi lived without anyone in his life. Without love in his life.

So So-Mi vowed.

That she would love him, and care for him.

Like a niece, a daughter, a friend.