Once inside their dorm, the guys greeted us excitedly.  Over Yu Kwon’s shoulder, as I hugged him, I caught a glimpse at Jordan and Ji Ho.  I couldn’t hear them well, but he had pulled her tank top strap up to put it back onto her shoulder.  He was probably scolding her on her lack of fitted clothes.  Or she stole another one of his hoodies.

          They’re so cute.

          Maddie and Kyung, too.  She was fiddling with his hair, adjusting pieces around, trying to move them off his forehead.  His hands were on his hips.

          I bet she didn’t feel intimidated by those crazies out front.

          And Amelia and Jae Hyo.  They were talking.  At one point, he reached over and pushed some hair behind her ear.

          “Are we going to watch movies or what?  Have you seen this TV?”  Min Hyuck asked, waving his arms in the air dramatically.  I giggled.

          “No, no, they haven’t seen it,” Tae Il whispered loudly.

          We sat down all together and watched a chick flick, Ji Hoon fell asleep.  And then we watched a horror movie.  Amelia almost puked.  That was the end of that.

          After a while, we kind of split up into groups doing our own thing around the dorm.  Yu Kwon gave me a tour of the whole dorm, which was a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

          Not to mention, he had the coolest view outside his bedroom’s window.

          “Whoa!  The city looks so cool!” I exclaimed, staring out his window.  At night, all of Seoul lights up.  Neon lights everywhere, lights in the windows of sky scrapers.  It was a pretty cool sight to see.

          Yu Kwon stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.  He rested his cheek against my jaw.

          “Plus, it faces the east so it looks even better when the sun is rising,” he said.  “It’s beautiful.”

          I laughed.  “If you were looking at me when you said that, I’m going to be really mad.”

          He nudged his forehead against my temple.  “Lame, right?”

          “No, no,” I replied still smiling.  I curled my arms around his.  Then I frowned.  “You see the sun rise often these days?  Have you been sleeping all right?” I asked, concerned.

          I felt him sigh and pull away.  He stood next to me and stared out the window.  “We were preparing for our live debut, recording for our mini album…” he sighed again.  “I’m ok.  I wanted this.  I don’t mind being tired a little now if it means we do well later.”

          Wrong answer.  “Are you eating and all that though?”

          He laughed and turned his head toward me.  “I am, please don’t worry about me.  My mom does enough of that for me.”

          “Fine, fine.”  I wrapped my arms around him from the side.  After I let go, I turned and began wandering around his room.  His desk, wardrobe, night tables, bed.  I almost wanted to laugh.  He’s about to become a hot shot idol and he has a twin bed.  It’s a good thing he’s not too tall or I bet his feet would fall off the end.

          There were a couple of boxes on the floor near one night table.  I shuffled in my socks over to them and knelt down.  “What are these?” I asked.

          “Oh,” Yu Kwon sounded.  He hurried over and sat next to me, already grabbing one and opening the flaps.  “Fans send us presents!”

          “Cool, let me see,” I said peering into the box in his lap.  There were cookies, candy, magazines, pillows, letters.  All cheering him and the whole band on.  Telling him how he was their favorite member.  Saying how much they liked his voice, his dancing. 

          Not helping, I thought as I smiled at him.

          “What’s wrong?” he asked, holding up a box of strawberry Pepero cookie sticks.  “What’s that look for?”

          “What look?  I’m just listening,” I answered with a lazy smile.

          He frowned.  “Liar.  What’s wrong?”

          “Nothing, honest.”  Besides that, deep down, I was seething and all kinds of green jealousy monsters were sitting in my stomach.

          I picked a little bear out of one box.  It was brown and it was holding a heart.  The note attached said, ‘Yu Kwon oppa, do well, I love you!’  How could she love him?  She didn’t even know him.  I loved him.  I didn’t get him a bear though.  I should have.  The girls and I had food delivered to the set of their music video that one time though.  Since we weren’t allowed to see them or go anywhere near them.

          “Beki…”  His voice brought me out of my stupor.

          “I’m ok,” I insisted.

          “Once Block b gets more famous, he’ll be able to find someone better anyway.”  Stupid girl.  Why’d she have to say that?

          “What’s wrong?” he demanded again.  He grabbed the bear out of my hand and tossed it back into the box before pushing the whole thing out of the way.  He placed his hands on the sides of my face and made me look at him.

          I smiled.  “I just…really missed you.  I used to see you every day at school, but now weeks go by sometimes before I can see you,” I answered.

          He returned the smile and kissed me on the forehead, his lips lingered there a moment longer than usual.  “It’s getting kind of late,” he mentioned, still holding my face.  “What did you tell your parents about what you were doing tonight?”

          “Just going to the concert and then hanging out with the girls,” I replied with a shrug.  He slid a little closer and pulled me in for a hug.

          “Could you call them and tell them you’re sleeping over Jordan’s house or something?” he asked.

          I laughed and pulled away, standing up.  He followed me.  I arched an eyebrow at him.  “What are you getting at?”

          He smiled and my knees practically gave out.  Shyly, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down to the hardwood floor.

          “I was kind of hoping you’d stay here tonight,” he told our feet.

          All my teenage hormones kicked in and I automatically thought of those trashy romance novels Jordan was always reading.  I forgot what comes after inhale when breathing.

          I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and dialed my parents.  While holding Yu Kwon’s gaze, I casually explained that the girls were all sleeping over Jordan’s and I’d call them tomorrow morning when I woke up.  It was almost painful to have to stay on the phone longer when my mom asked how the concert was, if I had fun, how it was. 

          Finally, she was satisfied with my answer.  She told me to have fun and that she’d tell my dad what my plans were since he was still in his office, grading papers for the semester.

          “Looks like I’m sleeping over Jordan’s,” I said to Yu Kwon after I hung up.

          He chuckled.  “Except, if I had to guess, I’d say that the other guys had the same idea as me and she and the others are sleeping here tonight, too.”

          “Hm, well if no one is going back to Jordan’s, looks like I should sleep somewhere else tonight then,” I responded offhandedly.

          I still couldn’t quite believe he was thinking what I thought he was thinking only because, well, he was never the one who thought of that.  Correction, I’m sure he thought about it.  He’s an 18 year old boy for heaven’s sake, but all that crap he’d shovel out about wanting it to be special or important or memorable or whatever he thought I wanted to hear.

          When in reality, I didn’t care about any of that, I just wanted to be with him.  None of that other stuff mattered.

          He closed the distance between us in one step and crashed his lips down onto mine.  He kissed me until he had to pull away for air.

          “Things are kind of already crazy,” he began, in deep breaths.  Resting his forehead on mine, he continued, “And it’s only about to get crazier.  We listen to what all of our sunbaes tell us about being idols.  What to expect, what to look out for, who to look out for, how to deal with some of the things that will start happening…”  He paused to shrug and kiss the tip of my nose.  “I’ve been thinking lately that, I mean, well you know I love you, right?  Even though we’re really young, I definitely know that, Beki.”

          “I-I know,” I whispered, sliding my arms around his waist and tucking my head into the crook of his neck.  “Just like how I love you.”

          He stalled a moment.  “They say things will start becoming different.  People will start to see me differently.  I might start acting differently.  I’ll even feel differently maybe.”

          “But everything will be alright.  Are you worried?”

          “No, no.  I mean, yeah I know, but that’s not it.  I just meant, as of right now, I still feel like me.  The same me I’ve always been.  The same me that’s known you since freshman year.  The same me that’s been with you for almost two years.  That me.”

          “You’ll always be Yu Kwon,” I told him.  “At least to me, I’ll always see you the same way.”  I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, so I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better.

          “Yeah,” he murmured.  I could hear the smile in his voice even though I kept my cheek pressed to his collar.  “Good.  I hope you do see me the same as always, but what I was trying to say was that, they might be right, maybe I will start feeling different.” 

          He grabbed me by the shoulders and held me at an arm’s length.  His eyes were dark.  Smoldering came to mind the more I stared into them.  It was kind of y actually. 

          “And you know I’ve wanted to sleep with you since…”  He laughed and broke eye contact.  “Actually since I first saw you freshman year, but now it’s not just me being .  I really do want to be with you because of how I feel for you.”  The skin under his fingers was suddenly scorching hot.  He brought one hand to his chest and covered his heart.  “I want to be with you while I’m still just Kim Yu Kwon.  While I still feel like this Kim Yu Kwon.  Like your Yu Kwon.  Before everything changes and I become only Block b's Ukwon.”