One day, I was sitting in my room after school.  Yu Kwon had managed to sneak into my room the weekend he said he’d be able to, but that was two whole weekends ago.  His schedule was picking up again and now he thought it could be a whole month before I could see him again.  It had already been…ah, I couldn’t even do the math.  It had already been too long since I’d seen him.

          So here I was, alone in my room, pretending to do homework, but I was really letting myself get distracted on the internet.  I couldn’t help but find my way over to those Block b fanfics.  If I couldn’t see my Yu Kwon, I could at least read about him.

          I was in the middle of reading one about Yu Kwon when my phone rang.

          “Hello?” I answered, not looking at the caller ID.

          “Beki!”

          “Jordan, what’s up?” I asked, still skimming through the story, looking for the ty part that gave this story the rated classification.

          “What the…you’re not mad?” she questioned.

          “Mad?” I repeated.  “Why would I be mad?”  I found the beginning of what seemed like would be a scandalous meeting between the main character and Yu Kwon in the shower.  I got up from my desk and flopped onto my bed so I could focus on Jordan.  “What’s going on?”

          My friend was quiet for a second.  “You haven’t seen it yet?  Don’t you check that Block b fan site?”

          “Yeah, sometimes.  I haven’t checked it yet today.  Why, something good?”  I was already back at my computer to bring up the site.

          “Not exactly…” she mumbled.

          The first thing I saw on the site was a giant photo of Yu Kwon.  It was after his debut.  He has his new hair style.  He was smiling and laughing.

          With a girl on his arm.  Her face was buried into his shoulder and her hands were on his chest, so I couldn’t see her face, but I knew it was a girl.  A Korean girl.  Where was he?  There was barely any background in the photo.  Was he at a party?  Was he at a performance?  A recording?  Is this why he was too busy to see me?

          “What the…”  His words from that night we were together came flooding back into my brain.

          “They say things will start becoming different…”

          “There must be an explanation, Beki.  Don’t get upset yet.”

          Of course there was an explanation.  There had to be.  This could be a photo from…no, I couldn’t think of an explanation, but there had to be one.

          “People will start to see me differently…”

          This was a new photo.   

          “I might start acting differently…” 

          “I’ll even feel differently maybe.”

          I wondered if he felt differently with her.

          “I’m going to go,” I said in monotone to Jordan.

          “Wait, Beki!  Just call him!  I’ll talk to Ji Ho.  He would know.  We’ll get the story straight, don’t get mad.  I thought you would have already seen this.  I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

          “No, it’s ok.  You don’t have to do anything.  I’ll take care of it.  I’ll talk to him or something.  Just let it go.  It’s fine,” I replied.

          “Beki…”

          “Thanks for telling me.  I’m going to go.”

          I clicked the ‘end call’ button before she could say anything.  I went back to bed and lay there.  I didn’t want to see anything on TV and I definitely didn’t want to see anything online.  I kept seeing Yu Kwon in my head.  That first weekend we were together and then the second time.  Both times, he’d been so sweet and romantic.  He seemed so focused on me.  The things he said to me…

          There had to be an explanation for this.  There had to be.

          The way he touched me.

          “People will start to see me differently…”

          How could the girl in that photo see him?  Did she look better than me?  Was that it?  I could tell she was Korean even though I couldn’t see her face.  Maybe that made her better than me for him.

          “I might start acting differently…” 

          This was different.  The old Yu Kwon would never let a girl hang all over him like that.  The old Yu Kwon wouldn’t look so happy with another girl.

          “I’ll even feel differently maybe.”

          How did he feel about her?  Did she replace me?  What does he feel now?

          I was still swirling around the novel worth of thoughts in my head when I heard my phone buzzing.  I sat up and looked at the caller ID.

          My Yu Kwon.

          I pressed the ‘ignore’ button and let it go to voicemail before laying back done on my bed.