That night, I didn’t talk to anyone.  I ignored the rest of my homework and just went to bed.  I’m not sure what time it was that I fell asleep, but I do know that it was 2:29 in the morning when my phone went off and I answered it, still half asleep.

          “…’lo?” I mumbled.

          “Ah ha!  I knew it!  I know you better than anyone!  You saw that photo, didn’t you?  That’s why you didn’t answer my call!”

          “Yu Kwon?”  I sat up and scratched my head.  I held the phone away from my face and pressed a button to light up the screen.  That’s when I saw it was 2:29 in the morning.  Was I dreaming?  “Yu Kwon?”

          “It’s me,” he said quieter.  “Wake up!”

          I blinked in the dark.  I smacked my hand on my night table, groping around for the button one the lamp.  The soft glow of the tiny lamp blinded me only temporarily.  “I’m awake.”

          “That’s why you ignored me, isn’t it?” he asked.

          It took me a second to recall the hours before I went to bed.  “Yes.”

          “Come on, baby.  You must know this is just some crazy scandal started by, well, some crazy fan.”  His voice was so casual.  This didn’t bother him at all.  He sounded completely unfazed by the fact that there is a photo posted on a website of him with another girl.

          “But what is that photo?” I asked.  “It’s new.  Who is she?”

          He laughed.  “I have no idea.  I don’t think I even know her.  I can’t see her face, so I can’t tell.  I’d be willing to bet it’s just some crazy fan.  Really.”

          “People will start to see me differently…”

          “Don’t you remember taking a picture like that with a girl?”

          “Beki, we’ve had five fan meetings so far.  I’ve taken pictures with so many girls, I couldn’t even try to guess how many.”  His tone had taken on a pleading edge to it.  “We really don’t know who she is.”

          I was suddenly wide awake.  “Like that though?!  Yu Kwon, do you take photos with girls like that?”  I tried keeping my voice low, but I could feel the anger bubbling inside.

          He was quiet for a moment.  I was just about to hang up on him when he said quietly, “I don’t know what to tell you.  I don’t get it either.”  I couldn’t say anything.  I didn’t know what to think.  I wanted to believe him so badly, but… “Beki?  This is nothing.  It means nothing.  Our manager talked to us this evening, he said he’d take care of this.  We can handle this.  It’s nothing.”

          “Ok,” I sighed.

          “People will start to see me differently…”

          “Please don’t be mad.”

          “I’m not mad.”  Liar.

          “I might start acting differently…”

           “You’re really mad.”  I was really mad.  “But you have no reason to be.  I love you, you know that.  This crap, it just comes with the territory.”

          “I’ll even feel differently maybe.”

          “I-I know,” I stammered.  “I’m sorry I ignored you.  It just kind of caught me by surprise, I guess.”  I heard him sigh.

          “Our manager is going to look into this more too, when I find out what’s going on, I’ll tell you,” he promised.

          That didn’t make me feel better.  My brain decided to completely reject the fact that the girl’s face can’t be seen and that he probably did take a million photos with girls at fan meetings and that this probably was nothing.  No, instead, my brain was completely set on being really, really mad.

          “Thank you.”  I was having trouble forming full sentences.

          “Tonight’s a school night and this weekend, we’re filming an interview for another show, but next weekend, Saturday, I’ll sneak out.  I really miss you.  I’ll come to you.  Can I see you then?”  His voice turned desperate.

          I suddenly didn’t care about anything anymore.  He could come out and tell me that he knew the girl and he took that picture five minutes before they slept together.

          And I wouldn’t care.  I’d still want to see him.

          I cleared my throat to keep from sighing.  What has he done to me?  I used to be a tough girl.  I didn’t give a damn.  And now, I’m clinging to a boy like he’s my lifeline.

          “Yes,” I managed to choke out.  “Please come see me then.”

          “Once Block b gets more famous, he’ll be able to find someone better anyway.”

          I spent the entire weekend staring at my computer screen.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I didn’t want to see anyone.  I’m pretty sure my parents thought I was going through some angsty, teenage moment, so they would pop their heads in my room and ask if I was alright.  I’d say I was fine.  My dad would say he’d go out and get me anything I wanted to eat and my mom would say she’d get me ice cream and we could talk about it…whenever I wanted to talk about whatever it was that was bothering me.  Of course.  I appreciated their concern, but I was in a trance.

          Mission ‘memorize and figure out who this is’ had begun.

          I noticed every single detail of what I could see of that girl.  Her hair was jet black and shoulder length.  It was also the reason I couldn’t see a flipping inch of her face.  Her stupid hair was splayed all over her face as he lay across my Yu Kwon’s chest, laughing.

          Her skin was ivory white and she had slender fingers.  And she had a huge plastic pink ring on her index finger.  I was overwhelmed with an intense hatred for that damn ring.  It reminded me of something a little girl would wear.

          Every time my friends wanted to talk about it, I’d pout and they’d stop.  It wasn’t like they had anything new to tell me either.  No one could figure out the photo.  Where did it come from?  Who was that girl?  Why was it suddenly all over the internet?

          “I’m so excited to see the guys interviewing live again,” Amelia squeaked as she bounced a little in her seat.  We were at Jordan’s house, the four of us, to watch the guys do their interview. 

          “I know!  It’s been so long since we’ve seen them!  It’s been…”  I stared straight ahead, speaking like a robot.  “Too…many…minutes to compute.  Can’t compute…system overload…”  I began blinking rapidly and then I slumped forward, making a sizzling noise as if I’d overheated.

          My friends giggled.

          I’d gotten pretty good at acting like I was over it and nothing bothered me anymore.

          “Ooh!  It’s starting!  Shh!” Maddie hissed, sitting upright in her seat.

          Our eyes shot to the TV screen and we fell silent.