No one’s pov

Yoseob squats and hides his face between his knees. That boy in white coat rocks his body slowly before ended up with sobbing. His body shakes due to the crying.

“Yoseob-sshi,”

A gloved hand tried to reach the boy’s body very slow and gentle. The old man squats too, pulls his soon son-in-law into his embrace. Mr.Yoon caresses Yoseob’s back gently.

“shh..it’s okay..it’s okay Yoseob-ah..” the man soothes the boy and keeps on repeating the meaningless words.

----------------

Mr.yoon shoves the hot drink to Yoseob. The boy didn’t take it instead of staring the cup blank. Mr.Yoon didn’t say much since beginning and he just watching the younger.

It has been two days since Yoseob asked for the chance. That boy said he can do it and kept on being stubborn, he went to try himself. He thought he could do it but he didn’t. his hand shook every time he made a cut on the test corpse.

Once again, Yoseob failed to do the cutting- the most important part in a surgery.

“..son,” Mr.Yoon clears his throat and starts the conversation. He stretches his hand to grab Yoseob’s shaking and trembling hands. The older stares the boy in front of him.

“You can still choose other field. Surgeon isn’t the only choice you have, there’s lot of branches you can take..How about pharmacist? Orthopedics, yes..How about orthopedics? I can help you..”

Yoseob doesn’t say any word.

“You can expand the practical’s period.. I can suggest you..-“

“It’s okay, Dad. Thanks but…no..” Yoseob swallows hard his own saliva, as if there’s a big lump in his throat. The boy lifts his head a bit and fakes smile.

“I..I thought..”

Mr.Yoon waits for Yoseob upcoming words patiently.

“- of dropping this course. I don’t want to be a doctor anymore,”

End.

Yoseob’s pov

Dad gives me a ride since Dujun isn’t here due to his works. At first, Dad offered me to stay at their house since I will be alone but I thanked him and said no. I don’t want to stay there. all I want now is..some peace. I wanted to be alone.

Dad asked me to give a call if I need anything and I only nodded. Once I’m in the building, I went to our apartment and opened the door. Without switching on the lights, I shuffle to the couch and senseless, I lay down.

Closing my eyes, the tears stream down shameless, keep on pouring to my cheeks, and ended up by soaking my shirt. I cry as much as I want that night.

Promising to myself, I wont cry anymore and tell about this to Dujun. He might get sadder than me and again keeps blaming himself for this bad luck. Dujun cant know about this. he cant.

                                                    ***************

I went to the hospital like usual and acted as if nothing is wrong. I laughed, jested, did my best with another day of practical, and went home when the time came. Dujun will home next two days and I’m already miss him.

I realized how alone I was when I’m living in the apartment counting the days. My passion in medic was nowhere and I felt empty. I don’t know what to do besides of thinking Dujun, the man whom I deadly in love now.

My dream is already vanished and I don’t want to lose my second hope in my life. I cant and I wont leave Dujun. I wont leave and lose him. Never.

“Come, let me-“

“Dad,”

“Yes?” he raises his eyebrows and opens the car’s door for me. I smile and shake my head no.”I can get home by myself and for now..I think I want to have a walk”

Dad stares me.

“I want to be alone for a while…please.” I plead him and weakly, he nods and I bow, thank him and leave the place before I changed my mind. I need to get my strength back before Dujun came home tonight.

End.

Dujun’s pov

I stop at the gift shop and buy a huge UFO plushie for my lovely. I feel bad already since I have no time to buy him some souvenirs when I’m abroad due to the case so that I bought this to him. I hope he will love this UFO.

I put the huge plushie on the passenger’s seat, next to the driver’s and smile. I drive slowly since it’s starting to rain. I parked my car at the parking lot and got my umbrella to get out. I was thinking to buy something hot food to grab with Yoseob since tomorrow is weekend so that we can enjoy ourselves for tonight.

I walk to the nearby food truck and buy some hot sweet potatoes. I pay the ahjumma and take the sweet potatoes, walk back to the building before I spotted someone familiar is walking to my direction.

He is all soaking.

Rushing to him, I give him a shade with the umbrella and pull him to me. I hug his soaking and wet body and lead him to the nearest shelter.

I shake his body a bit and ask him either he is okay or not.

Yoseob smiles when he sees me. this boy immediately hugs me and I can feel his hands squeezing tighter at my back. Yoseob buried his face on my crook neck and mumbles ‘I miss you’ millions times before I pushed him away from me, lift him in bridal way after putting the sweet potatoes on the ground and quickly bring him to our apartment, to change his clothes.

----------

“Take this,” I give him a hot cup of milk and Yoseob take it. He drinks it all in one gulp so that I immediately snatch the mug, telling him to drink it’s slow since it’s hot.

Yoseob is just smiling.

“Are you cold?” I approach him and palm his forehead. It’s burning a bit.

“Let me take you to bed,” I said and helped him to get up from the couch and leaded him to our bedroom. I laid Yoseob and pulled the thick duvet to cover his body, staring at his face without a wink. Yoseob smiles and grabs my arm.

“S-stay..please stay with me,” he says weak but full with hope. I smile and his hair. I lean closer and kiss his forehead.

“I will but let me change and get my things from the car,”

Yoseob pouts a bit.

“I wont run away from you pabo..I’m yours. Wait for me, okay?” yoseob chuckles softly and when he nodded, I leave him and straight to the car to get my luggage and also the plushie.

I took a brief bath and changed into my pajama. I went to the bed but Yoseob is already sleeping soundly while hugging the pillow. I giggle and approach the bed.

“Night, baby.”  Caressing his hair, I switch off the lamps and head to the living room. I took the ufo plushie and once again went into the room, substituted the pillow he hugged with the plushie and smiled happily seeing him hugging the gift I brought.

I sit on the couch, thinking why and how he is in the rain. I mean, Yoseob acted as if he was having a problem just now. I do not know what had happened when I’m not around so that I will ask him tomorrow.

I was about to sleep but something fishy caught my eyes on the table. Hesitate, I take the book and stare it for a while.

“This..this is the book Yoseob always hold,” I scrutinize it and decided to take a look. I thought it was a medic notes or motivation book but I’m wrong.

It was..Yoseob’s diary.

Grin.

I know it’s wrong to invade his personal life but somehow, I feel eager to read what he wrote. I’m wonder if there will be my name in this.

Grinning widely, I open the page randomly and start to read what have yoseob wrote. I keep on reading it until my hands shaking.

I stare the last page.

No..i’m not staring on it anymore. I close the diary and cover my gasping mouth. I bite my lips very-very hard, until I can feel the taste of blood. My face wrinkles a lot and I clench my hands, make a tight fist.

I ..cannot breathe anymore.

End.

I will post the chapters as much as i can! Hahaha..

Btw, do you know what the specific name for the knife ( in sciencetific one, I mean, what we call if we're a doctor?) kekeke, I forget that little thing's name!