published on 26/1/13 

+start+

Your POV

"Even if you don't know me, I'm sure.. you can trust me." you assured to him as he sat up properly. He took a deep breath and the first thing he said was,

"A girl."

No shocker there because , it seems pretty obvious it's about a girl. Is it Sun Hwa again? Yes he says he's over her and everything, but guys are good liars. As in, they hide their feelings very well and they act like nothing is wrong but when you find out everything that they've been through, their 'nothing is wrong' is actually 'everything here is wrong.'

"There's this girl that I like, and she's .. just amazing."

You wanted to say something, as in, ask him to define amazing. But he continued.

"When I see her.." he chuckled. "Man when I see her, she has no idea how fast she's got my heart beating." He turned to look at you. "You know what I mean?"

Of course you knew what he meant, what he's doing right now, it's making you feel the same way he's feeling about her. All you did was nodded your head in understandment.

"I don't tend to act differently, or try to change my ways when I'm around her, but it seems like they change by themselves and my emotions, my feelings, the urge to just touch her triggers by itself. And I can't control that."

"When did you realize that you fell for her?" you blurted out.

Again, he gave a slight chuckle and took a deep breath. "That's a pretty, funny way of how it started out." he said as he gazed to the stars. Sitting there, wondering what did he meant? How do you actually figure out when you like someone?

"I read her notebook and ..how do I explain this..-"

"Try."

" T-The feelings that she felt somehow connected to the way I feel sometimes. I just felt my heart connecting with her just by reading that book. The words, the emotions. Everything. But it was wrong though. I wasn't supposed to read that book in the first place but I read it. In the end , I guessed when I was done reading the book, I found myself actually, attracted to her in a way that I just wanted to embrace her and make her mine."

You blinked your eyes a few times, to make sure, you were listening to exactly what he was saying. He looked at you and rubbed the back of his neck as he bit his lower lip. "Sounds pretty stupid, huh?"

You shook your head and he let out a heavy sigh as he gazed to the ground. "And she doesn't even know how I feel."

"What if she was here? Right now, what would you say to her?" you asked him, trying to boost up his confidence.

"I don't know." was the only thing he said as he stared into thin space. You realized he wasn't going to say anything and you waved your hand in front of his face, making him come back to his senses and reality. "I-I'm sorry, did you say something?" he asked as he gazed to you.

"You have to be determined, to tell her. What if some other guy takes her away? Wouldn't that, make you regret it even more that you didn't say anything when you could have?"

He ruffled his own hair and shot up. "But I don't know what to say!"

You just stared at him, to him now, you're just Hae Jun. A girl he just met, not Hae Ra. He slowly sat back down and apologized. "What if I was her? Use me as a practice." you asked as you turned him by his shoulders to face you. He was stunned at first, but then he couldn't really see your eyes, so he nodded slowly. 

"Take a deep breath, and just say what's on your mind."

He did as he was told. He took a deep breath and started off.

"Hae Ra. I just-"

You held a hand in front of his face, cutting him off. His eyes widened as slowly you put your hand down and you felt your heart beating, fast. Like there was something pumping in your heart, making it beat extra fast.

Extra fast than usual.

Words he sai- cross that. The name he said. Just lingered in your head. Replaying, over. And over. And over again like a broken record. He broke your train of thought, he looked worried.

"D-did I say something wrong?" he stuttered between his words. "S-say her name again." you asked. 

"Kim , Hae .. Ra." he said your name in a slow pace as you caught him smiling to himself right after he said your name.

"It's just, something about her.. I just want it. All , of it." he continued as he played with his fingers.

"H-have you approached her in any way?" you asked, of course. Curiosity was filling up your brain and millions of questions were popping up one by one. But this was the first question that you blurted out.

"I-I have.. actually. B-but she doesn't know it's me."

You : What do you mean by that?
Kai : I sort of got her number of her friend. I called her from time to time. There was one time I had the guts to call her but I came off the wrong way.

??? : Good morning beautiful.

You didn't answer instead try to analyze whose voice it was. But because you just woke up, you're still pretty blur and you didn't even want to think about who it was. Instead you just ended the call and pushed away your phone on the table. You laid back down onto your soft bed that for some reason is a thousand times more comfortable when you're sleepy. Just as you close