Really its to much!

A thousand Cranes and Ice-Cream (Long Hiatius)

 

 

"your laugh hurts my ears"I hissed while covering my ears before I get deaf.I didn't have to look to see who was laughing, no one in the world has an annoying voice as SOOYOUNG! *Ughh!What does she want?*I thought while clenching my fist tight.

 

"OMG!Orphan are you that poor?seriously?You buy your dress and shoes and knick knacks?"She said while giving me her evil smirk "Pa-leaze~ orphan do you want me to give you one of my dress that I don't use anymore for you to wear to the ball?"She asked in a b*tchy tone and chuckled. "But they might be to tight for you since you so FAT!"

 

"Um, but for your information knick knack's don't sell dresses to go to ball's HERE!"I yelled at the last word "And if your dumb then go away from me!" I finished and walked pass her but before I could she held my wrist so I could stop."Oh and don't call me fat when your 2 size LARGER then me,tsk tsk"I said mockingly while shocking my head like I was disappointed in her, if you guys are wondering how I know what size she is well…when we had P.E lesson the other day Sooyoung left her shirt in my bag by and accident, I guess thats how I knew.

 

"TAKE THAT BACK OR YOUR GOING TO REGRET IT"She raged.

 

I glanced at her face, her face looks like she just broke up with her boyfriend "Why?" I asked and raised one of my eyebrow 

 

"ARGHHHHHHHHHH!I CAN'T STAND YOU ANYMORE YOU FUcking bish..."She quieten down when she realise that she was in public, she looked around with a worried look on her face.I rolled my eyes "Gee, well just scream a little louder"I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

 

"Shut up"She said and pushed me making me fall down hurting my bottom, she walked off but on her 2nd step she stepped on a skate board and went flying to the trash can she fell in the trash can, but I guess she had no luck with her today because what happened next made me laugh so bad.

 

The garbage man along with the trash truck came and empty the trash with that robot thingy and empty the trash can."AHAHAHHAHA....THATS...AHAHAHAHAHA...WHAT YOU GET...AHAHAHHAHA" I laughed my off.*OH NO I FORGOT ALL ABOUT SEOHYUN* I quickly ran my way to david jones so I won't any later.

 

When I finally arrived their, I went to look around for Seohyun because she wasn't where I last saw her.After 4 minutes of running around David Jones I gave up, I can't find her anywhere I came back to the spot where I last saw Seohyun and I saw her standing there."Where were you?I came back and I didn't see you"I asked a lot of worried in my tone, she just gave me an eye smile*Serious?I'm worried and all you give your cute eye smile as answer?*I thought and rolled my eyes.

 

"I went to buy you a phone"She said and handed me a rectangle box "Sorry if I took long"

 

I looked at the rectangle box, My eyes widened O_O she brought me an I PHONE 4S?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? "I didn't buy the I phone 5 for you because I-"

 

I cut her off "No, I'll just buy my own.This is too much already your buying my heels for the ball and now your buying me a phone?!"I said, trying to give it back to her but she just pushed it back to me.

 

"It's ok, I have a lot of money"She smiled "Just accept these things, just think of them as a present for being my friend"

 

"Then since your giving me these present i'll have to buy you something as well"I smirked thinking she take the phone back if I say that.

 

"Really?!?!?!"She squeaked in excitement, I was so confuse…does she like having presents? "So where going to go out again?YAY, I love going out with my friends"She smiled so wide that I thought would be ripped off.

 

"Yeah, I find a date, I think you might need to wait for a while because I need to go to work and yeah…"I said *I need to work hard so I have enough money*I thought and sighed this is sure going to be tiring "Thanks for the presents though!"I mumbled, honestly I think this is to much!I need to earn a lot  of money so I can get her something expansive. "Oh, are you going to do my make up and her tomorrow?Because I don't think I'm very good at make up and hair…"I blushed, I'm a girl but I don't even know how to do those easy simple task…I think I should ask her to give me lessons.

 

"Yeah, of course!I love putting make up on people and I do love playing with peoples hair!AHAH, oh what tomorrow is the ball?"She changed the subject randomly I chuckled a little.

 

"Yeah, do you want me to come over or do you want to come over my house?"I asked while looking through the shoes to see which one I think looks the best.

 

"Um, you pick I don't mind at all"She said while looking at the shoes as well, "Oh, this one would actually look good"She said handing me a black heels, I shivered at seeing how tall the heels are *OH DANG, its so tall why am I even wearing heels again?*I thought curiously then I remembered….SOOYOUNG…..I don't want her to laugh or do to me so I guess I have to wear them.I sighed, things I do because of her arghhhhhh.

 

"This will go perfectly with your dress, your dress goes past your mid thigh's and if you wear this type of heel's it will show of your legs and it will look really y"She explained, well to be honest I think I should wear what ever she tells me to wear because I'm not very good at fashion.

 

"Uh, ok then I'll wear this one thank you"I thanked, I did a 90 degree bow but stopped half way, well I didn't stop but Seohyun stopped me.

 

"No need to be so formal, I'm pretty sure your the same age as me so when is your birthday?"She asked.

 

"June the 27 what about yours?"I asked back, Seohyun has done so much for me I think I should know so I can buy her a present for her birthday, i'm pretty sure when I go out again to buy her a present it probably won't be as much as the iPhone.

 

"Mine is on the 6th of January, that means I am your unnie"She grinned *Does she like being older then everyone or what?*I thought curiously I was about to ask her why is she happy to be the eldest but I guess she red my mind because she answered it with out me asking her "I'm happy for being the eldest because I skipped a grade in school and all of my friends in school are all older then me, well I don't go to school much though hehe~"She laughed awkwardly "It's not because i'm lazy, but because i'm a model for my parent company"

 

"Oh~That explains why your very good at fashion, hmmm"I hummed as I looked around her going in circles "Your very pretty for a model, last time when I was bored I was looking through the channels on my tv and I saw very ugly models from America"

 

"Oh, sorry but I need to pay for the shoes and go home because I have to help my parents to do some stuff"She said and motioned her hands to follow her.She put the shoes on the counter and asked "How much are they?"

 

A/N:Sorry about the late update, saranghae0_0 is a bit busy and I just found out so I tried my best to make this as long as possible!Comment on what you think about it:) like if you want blah to do this or blah to do that.

 

WE LOVE ALL 14 OF YOU ALOT!:)

 

Sorry guys, this isn't edited by saranghae0_0.(I hope my english isn't to bad…hehe~but i have been doing more english tutoring work for the storyX)<3!~)

 

*EH!This chapter is kind of boring because I tried to update it as fast as possible since saranghae0_0 is busy and I didn't want you guys to wait to long:( I promise the next chapter would be better*

 

This story is written by azn_buty

I still hope you guys like it<3!~

 

(BTW guys, I update every second nights:) so i'll update again on monday, Wednesday, friday, sunday and it goes in a pattern<3!~

*Thats only until saranghae0_0 starts editing and writing chapters again*

 
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kpop_luver29 #1
Chapter 13: AHhhaahahha, getting back at daehyun?LOL
can't wait till the next update>.< Who's the people who are draging yenji?Update the next chapter I want to find out who it is^^and i'm new to aff
exo_tic29 #2
Chapter 12: Ahahaha, Daehyunie is so funny, looking at his watch that is not on his wrist bhahahhahaha!Ahhh, you authors are so funny.
And Himchan being a _______....?whoa he sounds like he went a bit far LOL!~can't wait till the next update FIGHTING
chooseme #3
awesome.. ^^
B2utyful-Elf #4
Chapter 3: WAAAHH!! >_< you guys are so cute; I didn't know you always celebrate when people comment or subscribe =) I might start doing that too, sounds fun ^^ Anyway, I was surprised about the trash talk in this chapter (you know, using bad words) It's your choice to use them, but please don't use them very often although I understand that some bad words really help express feelings. Sorry I had to say that, but I still love your story! I'll find time to read again! =) Keep it up!
kpop_fan4 #5
Chapter 8: please update soon author nim
nikki_jay #6
OMG, i love your story update soon author nim this is an amazing story!!!
B2utyful-Elf #7
Chapter 2: Hey there! =) I've had time once again >_< !! saranghae0_0 you did well hehe^^ Some freaky girl coming up and claiming crazy things? If I were DaeHyun I would be all like "NO COMMENT" ^o^ I'll try to read more than one chapter next time! Keep it up! I'm looking forward to the next chapters and great teamwork between azn_buty and saranghae0_0 ~
B2utyful-Elf #8
Chapter 1: I've only had time to read the first chapter so I can only say this much: Hahaha! ^^ My Jong Up Oppa as a meanie? How cute is thaaaattt!! >_< Please continue on, I'll read the next chapters when I'm free again! ^^
KikisxD
#10
Chapter 2: I've read it and I'm going to quickly review it~ (**not an AFF Reviewer, this is merely my opinion as a writer myself.)

Okay so, first I notice some minor grammar mistakes, such as commas. When doing a comma, you tend to do this: "...piss her parents off ,she helps her mother... (etc)" but the comma should be like this: "...piss her parents off, she helps her mother...(etc)". Ensure you correct this maybe. It's not a big deal of course; still understandable. You don't do it everywhere, so before you post the chapter next time, you should quickly go over it to make sure you haven't done it~~ ^.^

Another note is that sometimes you use commas instead of full stops (I sometimes do this too but I'm trying to stop this habit hehe) or put in full stops without a space . Once again, this is just a case of checking over~~ Just go over it; make sure you've added the spaces and read each sentence; make sure it's the best-fitting punctuation. ^.^

Another main thing I've noticed is that when two people speak, you leave them on the same paragraph. For some readers (and myself), this was a little confusing but manageable. Whenever a new person speaks a new paragraph is made. E.G...

>>> "Hello Oppa!" I grinned, running through the corridor where my husband waited.
"Please don't," he began, teary-eyed. My heart skipped a beat and I felt faint all of a sudden. "I have bad news..." he barely whispered. <<<

BUT, even then... it's up to you whether you decide to put a space between each miniature paragraph or not. I tend not to, others do~ ^.^

Another is that sometimes you shorten words into slang which isn't the best thing to do, especially when typing a fanfic... so, for example, you typed "coz" and it should technically become "'cause", with the dash, showing it's shortened.

Well, I won't continue... I hope I haven't disheartened any of you both! I also write a story with a co-author and it's fun conjoining two styles!

Good Luck!