Present…
It’s a long weekend for me, my one and only class during Fridays got cancelled because my professor’s wife gave birth yesterday. I should have been ecstatic. I could be doing anything right now… with him.
But it isn’t like that anymore. And I did promise to forget about this stupid feelings I have. I got no one to really talk to… because if I ever have a problem, it’s always him I talk to about it. And he is always there. But not anymore.
So I went to the only person who I know won’t betray me even if worse comes to worst. The person whom I wholly trust my life with. Mom.
As I open the front door, I couldn’t help but to look at the other house sitting next to ours. How many times had I played on that other yard with him? How many times had I watch him walk through the front door after thinking I already went in when he told me to? How many times had I went in trough that door with homework in hand because he called and was frustrated he can’t solve any of it? And of course… those many times when I watch him grin to himself as he think about how his dates had been… and think to myself that girl could have been me.
“Hey, honey! You’re home!” Mom beamed as she walked over to me and giving me a hug. “Did you come with Kai?”
Hearing his name, I felt my heart give a painful lurch once again and I feel so weak and helpless I clung unto mom, pressing my face into her shoulder as tears started falling once again.
She panicked and hugged me tighter, asking what was wrong. And I just sobbed. I could finally feel the loss. And knowing that he’ll never be my best friend again after this hurts more than knowing that he’ll never see more than his best friend.
“Hey, Lia, what’s wrong? Did something happen at school?” Mom asked worriedly, swaying back and forth a little, hugging me a little tighter every time a sob tears its way out of my throat.
I kept crying my heart out on her. Thinking about it now, I guess it’s one of the things I shouldn’t have done to him, baring my heart out. It kept him from walking out of my life because he really cares, but also it kept me vulnerable. The only people who wouldn’t take advantage of that even unconsciously are your family. I should have learned that earlier and probably avoided this pain I’m going through.
But hey! I thought he’d be there forever. And don’t they say that love makes you do unimaginable things? All I did was love. I should’ve known better.
“I…” I croaked as mom brushed my hair and rubbed my back, “I even used to hate his guts.” I cried. “Why…”
I couldn’t continue after that. I don’t really know if mom knows I like him since…I don’t really remember when I started liking him more than a friend. But that way mom hold me and sighed sympathetically says that somehow she saw through my façade. I just wish he had been more perceptive about it like mom. Bu he’s always been a bit of an idiot so…
“The two of you were peas in a pod. Both stubborn about everything. Things will work itself out, honey.” mom said.
“It won’t, mom.” I answered. “I should have stayed hating his guts…”

A few years back…
“I don’t want to go!” I pouted, and make sure that I have that pissed look on my face that Kris seem to always have on his everyday. He’s a great older brother, it’s just that he kinds of chose to have the wrong default look on his face.
My mom sighed, exasperated. “We have talked about this, Lia. Come on now, honey. Kris had already left you. I told you he will if you take too long.” she cooed.
I know my mom loves me, I am the girl after all. Kris hangs out with dad a lot when dad is free so I end up being closer to mom. Knowing this, I always try to get mom side on me in everything. And somehow, even if I knew in the back of my mind that I’m on a lost cause, I stay stubborn. “I don’t want to go! Can’t I just get home schooled like in Guangzhou?”
“Li Jiatian! Stop this stubbornness now or else I’ll ground you.” I heard dad say from the dining table where he was reading the paper.
I pouted even more. What dad says must always be followed. And him using my given name only means he’s at the end of his patience for my whining. For the day anyways.
No wonder Kris always has that stone face. He got it from dad.
I stomped my way out of the house, glaring at the road as I made my way to school. Kris is in his first year of high school while this is my last year before attending middle school next year. The between us is not that far, so even though he’s already a giant sixteen year old I’m barely entering my teenage years, the two of us are close. Though I can blame that somewhat to the endless moving these past few years. We never really stay on a place long enough to make lasting friendships, just a few acquaintances or so.
I wonder how long it will take this time for dad’s company to assign him somewhere else. We barely settled but moving around had been a constant so it wasn’t really a big deal.
“Hey!” someone called.
I felt slight tug on my backpack, something which had been with me for the past four or five years since we first started moving around.
When I turned I was met by a toothy grin etched on a slightly tanned face of a boy. His eyes turns into half moons as he grins at me.
“What?” I drawled, imitating Kris signature disapproving face. Or at least trying to.
He laughed at me, and I kind of want to hurt him for blatantly laughing at me. He pointed a thumb to the school gate we were facing. “You are a new student of this school. Pay attention to where you’re going.” he said with a somewhat smug grin.
I looked at the huge sign beside the school gate and true enough it was the school mom had entered me. I have never been to a public school; any school, period. I am always on home school since I was five, and we started moving around by then.
“Don’t you think I know where my school is?” I bit back, pushing past the boy towards the school entrance.
Mom told me to go straight to the faculty lounge and ask a teacher where my room is.
Problem is, I don’t know where it is.
“If you’re looking for the teacher’s area, I can take you there.”
I turned around and that same boy was there, smirking. I briefly wonder if that’s his signature look on his face, like Kris’ scowl (I refuse to use the other term I hear his acquaintances use; it’s what you call a female dog) face.
“I can find it myself, thanks.” I replied, making sure he got the message saying, ‘Leave me alone.’ I turned my back on him and started on one direction randomly, seeing that there were few students who were going that way. Kids don’t like teachers, and for sure they are going o a void the teacher’s lairs.
“Just so you know, the comfort rooms are that way and the teacher’s lounge is this way.” the already getting familiar voice said.
I stopped abruptly and resisted the urge to stomp my feet. “How would you know that I don’t need to go wash my hands or something?” I glared. In truth, I don’t really need to use the comfort room, I’m just kind of embarrassed that I’m making a fool of myself because of being stubborn and refusing his help.
He smirked even harder, giving me an amused look. “Alright. And just to be helpful, classes are going to start in ten minutes. You don’t want to be late.” he said and started towards where his class would be.
I mentally tortured him as his back disappeared from view. Just because I’m new doesn’t mean I’m helpless, I thought to myself.
I found the teacher’s lounge some time later and luckily my homeroom teacher was still there. She then took me to my first class, giving me a little tour on the way to the classroom. She told me that a classmate would be assigned to help me find my way around school until I can do it by myself, reassuring me even further that even hose who are not specifically assigned to help me will help too.
“Okay class, settle down!” the teacher said as she went to stand at the desk facing the class. She called me over as the other kids settle down, “You have a new classmate.” she said and instructed me to introduce myself.
“Hello. My name is Li Jiatian. I’m from… uh, we just moved from Canada.” I said, the nervous knot in my tummy making my head go blank. The kids were all looking at me like I’m some kind of lab specimen.
“Your accent sounds funny.”
My new classmates giggled, some laugh outright, and I glared at the boy who said those words. Yeah… the same boy bugging me since early his morning.
“Kim Jongin, be nice.” the teacher reprimanded lightly. In my opinion, she should make him stand outside the room with his hands up, just like how mom would punish Kris when he does something naughty. This kid, this Jongin kid, had just embarrassed me in front of the whole calss, and he deserves to be punished!
“I am being nice, teacher.” Jongin replied with a small pout. “I like her accent. It‘s strange. I like strange.”
That made my classmates laugh even more. Forget him being punished by the teacher, I want to hurt him myself.
The teacher shook her head lightly as if she’s trying not to laugh at Jongin’s comment herself. “Alright, alright. Jiatian-sshi, please take a seat.” she told me, pointing at an empty desk at the back of the class.
I went over and settled down, bowing my head since it seemed lie every eyes were on me. A tap on my shoulder surprised me. I looked up… and saw that now-familiar smirk.
“Hi. My name’s Kim Jongin.” he grinned.
I stared back for a moment before scowling, remembering how he had just made me the laughing stock of the class. And on my first day too! I didn’t answer back, letting his hand, which was between us on an offer for a handshake, stay there unnoticed.
He frowned. And darn it, it’s kind of endearing alright.
“Hey, you’re supposed to shake my hand. My friend, he’s from Canada too, and he speaks English too, says that people from Canada don’t bow when they introduce themselves. They do this shaking hands instead.” Jongin blabbered, extending his hand towards me even more.
I just look at him. “It’s he right hand, not the left.” I replied coldly.
He had the decency to look at his hand with a confused expression before a kind of understanding lightened up his face. He extended his right hand, “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t really do this with hyung. So yeah, I’m Kim Jongin.” he said with a grin, eyes turning into half moons.
Now, even if I’m kind of ticked off by this kid, mom did tell me to mind my manners. So I shook his hand, only once!, and kept my eyes on the front, muttering my name under my breath.
“Your name doesn’t sound from Canada.” Jongin mused, still paying attention to me instead of the teacher who was now starting her lesson. “Henry hyung has a name from Canada.”
I sighed. “It’s Canadian. When you call something from Canada, you cal it Canadian.” o told him silently.
“Oh! Canadian. Okay! I’ll remember that. So… what’s your Canadian name?” Jongin asked, putting his head on a palm.
The teacher noticed us just as I was about to tell Jongin to listen to the lecture instead of bugging me. “Kim Jongin, Li Jiatian, you two are not listening.” she said. I’m kind of thankful that she doesn’t sound angry at all. I did have a tutor who had always been a prick and I kind of hate teachers like that.
“Sorry, ma’am.” I said, my head bowed a bit. I glared at the boy beside me. First he embarrassed me in front of the class, and now he’s getting me into trouble with my teacher. And  my day had just started too!
“Kim Jongin, what do you have to say?” the teacher asked.
Jongin pouted before apologizing for disturbing the class. But that didn’t deter him from bugging me for the rest of the class. The teacher called his name twice more and on the third time, she assigned Jongin to be the one to give me a tour since he seemed to be interested in making friends with me. Much to my chagrin.
I ended up following, more like being dragged really, Jongin to all of our classes. He gave me a tour of the whole school after our last class, introducing me to teachers when we meet one, pointing where everything is (I wonder how he knew all of that, and by the end of the tour he randomly told me that his granddad is the principal so he kinds of hangs out there sometimes even on weekends and he principal had so many things to do and needs to come to school).
After I insist that I should go home early, Jongin deemed it that the tour was finished. I hurriedly went to my locker and took my things, leaving Jongin without a goodbye.
I thought I didn’t have to deal with him again until the next day, and I plan to ask my teacher for a different seat so I wont have to deal with talkative Kim Jongin at all. But I was wrong. When I was walking home, an annoying whistling tune was following me. At first I thought the whistling person will turn a different direction so I ignored it. But halfway home and the same tune was playing over and over again, grating at my nerves, I decided to take a peek at whoever it was behind me.
An annoyingly familiar face, with the same annoying grin, greeted me.
“You were in such a hurry you forgot to tell me goodbye.” Jongin pouted.
“You didn’t have to follow me all he way out here for that. So goodbye.” I couldn’t help but to sound cold because I was honestly annoyed. I turned my back on him for God-knows how many times today and fastened my pace.
I thought he was gone for sure but as I got nearer to the white fence of our new house’s front yard, I can still hear Jongin’s whistling.
“Look, Kim Jongin, why are you following me? I apologize for being rude earlier. You Don’t have to go stalkerish on me, alright?” I told him, frustration making my Korean worse than it currently was.
“Is ‘stalkerish’ even a word?” Jongin frowned, ignoring my semi-tirade. He continued walking towards me.
I glared at him, “I don’t know but I don’t really care. Now just leave me alone.”
He ignored me and continued to walk past me. I followed him with my eyes, continuing my way home, our yard’s gate fence just a few yards away.
“Now, who’s following who?” Jongin laughed as he turned to face me, walking backwards.
I honestly want to throw something to his face.
He just laughed. “I wasn’t following you. I live here too, you see.” he grinned and skipped on his way as I stopped on our gate. To my surprise (horror, really) he stopped on the gate fence next to ours. “Looks like we’re neighbors, Jiatian-ssi!” he laughed before going inside with a wave.
“Oh no.” I groaned. Something about knowing Jongin lives near me, sit beside me at school, and just seem to be all over the places I’m at, just don’t sit right with me.
And I’m right.
Jongin is more trouble than Kris when he’s in the mood, and Kris could be really a big trouble when he likes it (he once got a tutor resign out of frustration when he was 9 or so).
I hoped Jongin’s antics with embarrassing me (I know it’s unconscious but still) would be limited to school only. But then he managed to get into my nerves even at home. Since he lives nearby and his parents are the perfect neighbors, not to mention his two older sisters who dotes on me (they’re the only ones who agrees with me that Jongin is the most annoying creature ever born), somehow Jongin managed to single-handedly make my life messier than it already was.
It started with poking me t school during the times when the teachers made us read our books or make us do some activities. Most of the time I ended up apologizing even though Jongin was at fault. He did apologize but then the teacher would just give him a forbearing look and move on with whatever we were having at class.
Then it reached the confines of our new home. He charmed his way to my mom’s heart, charming her with his boyishness and all. He even wormed his way to dad and Kris’ affection using his witty remarks and silly antics. After establishing his place inside our house, he started appearing every now and then at the oddest of times of the day. And because my parents and brother likes him, I have to endure all the times I had to be made fool of myself because my parents just love to tell those ridiculous stories of me growing up.
 From then on Jongin had been an almost permanent fixture in our house, popping up during the days he was bored. Too bad for me that we are the only kids near his place so he was bored all the time, meaning he was almost always on our house.
“Why are you here? Again?” I snapped when Jongin startled me as he came in through the back door with a loud bang. I was so startled I dropped the muffin I try so hard to perfect for Kris’ birthday.
Jongin seemed oblivious to my foul mood. “I was bored. Want to play?” he asked.
“No. Don’t you have any one else to bother?” a replied coldly, making my way towards the countertop to remake the muffin.
“No. Sehun lives quiet far so I can’t really go there all I want.”
I remember Sehun, he’s the  lanky kid Jongin hangs out with when he’s not bothering me. Well, Sehun is also there when Jongin does bother me, but the kid stays quiet most of the time, n exact opposite of  talkative Jongin.
“What’s that?” he asked after observing for quiet some time.
I sighed exasperatedly but didn’t tear my eye s from the my muffin. It had to be in a unique shape or Kris will just tease me, he’s been teasing me a lot about my baking skills. “It’s a muffin. Obviously. Don’t you have eyes?”
Jongin didn’t seem deterred by my lack of manners in talking to him even when he’s practically older to me by months. “Really? It’s strange. Just like you.”
“I am not strange!” I glowered. If looks could kill, I think Jongin would be dying pitifully at that moment. “Why do you always have to tell everyone that I’m strange? And get me embarrassed in front of everyone? Since I met you I didn’t have a single quiet moment? You’re always everywhere I go! Telling me how strange my accent is! How  strange my mannerisms are! How strange I look! You’re making everyone think I’m a freak! Would you just leave me alone?” I yelled.
Jongin seemed to finally understand that I don’t want him around and after that his visits decreased until one day, a few weeks after my tantrum, Kris asked no one in particular why a certain boy wasn’t around that much. I would have shrugged, but the piercing look he sent me made me squirm.
“What?” I asked, frowning even though he hadn’t answered yet.
“Why would let out your frustrations on not having another friend other than Jongin on him? Jongin’s practically keeping you company since you’re new.” he accused.
“He’s not. He keeps on telling everyone how strange I am so everyone thinks I am so they stay away!” I defended.
“Jongin just want to be your friend. And whether you like it or not, you are strange, that’s one reason why other kids don’t really like hanging out with you that much! And here you go telling the only kid who actually admits to everyone that your strangeness is okay off.” Kris admonished.
I would have retorted but I know he’s right. I’ve never been the friendly type and the constant moving and being home schooled didn’t help with it.
“You do realize that Jongin went the long way so he can be your friend right? I mean he’s kind of shy in reaching out to others but he did it to you because you’re new and he knows pretty well how new ones get bullied. shouldn’t you be thankful?” Kris continued.
I pouted. “Why do you side with him. You’re my brother.” I accused.
Kris laughed and ruffled my hair. “I just don’t want you to lose your very first friend.”
I wanted to argue but somehow all the things that Jongin had been doing for me these past few weeks at school and here at the neighborhood came to me. It’s ture that he always ell anyone and everyone that I’m strange. But also with than is the statement, “I like her strangeness!!” and somehow as I think about it, Jongin actually really like me, not just because he has no one else to annoy. He also always follow me around, and introduce me to the people in the neighborhood, familiarizing me with everyone and everything.
I wonder why I hate him in he first place. And I feel kind of silly. How can I be so shallow? I’m nearly 13 but I still think like toddler.
And so I made up my mind. I’m going to make up with Jongin. He’s the only other kid I could actually call my friend, Sehun being the other one courtesy of Jongin but the kids bad barely spoken to me even if Kai is there. Sehun doens’t even make a sound if Jongin wasn’t there.
So I made a muffin, for Jongin. A peace offering. Come to think of it, my tantrum happened when I’m baking a muffin for Kris. And now I’m going to give Jongin one as a peace offering. At both times, my muffin tasted better in both of these times.
Looks like Jongin brings forth both the worse and better side of me.

a/n: it's not a writer's block that's keeping me from updating.. it's just that sometimes i;m too busy to write things down so... MIANHAE!!

anyways, i'll update soo, maybe a week from now, i'll update along with my other fics, speaking of which, please read them too!!!

here are the links:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/319763/creating-chaos-exo-mama

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/332094/organized-chaos-suju-smtown

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/319763/creating-chaos-exo-mama

kamsahamnida!!! comments are loved!!