Present:
“Mom, we’re leaving!” Kris called as we put on out jackets and shoes.
The weatherman said that there was a possibility of snowing hard later in the day so Kris decided that we should leave to go back to our apartments early. He hates driving in the cold weather when snow is falling hard.
Mom came hurrying up with two big containers of food. She handed them to Kris and quickly reminded us to be careful and eat and stay warm and all as if it was the first time we were moving out again. His scene always happens whenever we leave from our short visits.
I hugged mom, “We will, mom. Don’t cry.” I teased.
“Yah, Li Jiatian, don’t patronize me.” she scolded.
Dad walked us out to the car as mom continued hovering, reminding us to take care of our health and all, over and over again. She kept bothering Kris about how skinny he’s getting again, and how come he seldom visits home. Dad and just grinned at the grilling Kris was getting. Lucky I’ve got my weekends free now and again so I get to visit more often. Kris is at his last year of university and is busy with his internship and all.
Dad went to hug me as mom continued her mini rant on Kris. “Hey, Lia. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.” he said.
“Dad…” I whined.  I can’t believe that even dad was being worried because of the thing about Kai. I guess I’m really oblivious about my family not having a clue about my feelings.
“Just so you know, you’re still my baby. And even if I like Kai a lot I would not hesitate to whip his for you.” dad squeezed me a bit. It’s comforting.
I hugged back tightly. “I know, dad. I’m fine.” I hope the grin on my face covers up my still down feelings.
We were driving back toward my apartment a moment later, a soft pop song playing on the car stereo. Kris has his usual frown-face on and I kept my eyes on the passing buildings on the window. It’s going to be Christmas in a few weeks. Winter break is near and snow is filling up the roads of Seoul.
“What would happen now? I mean, you two attend the same university. You have the same classes. It’s not like you an avoid seeing each other.” Kris said.
I thought about it for a while. “It’s kind of déjà vu, actually.”
Kris' brow twitched. “Only this time you two are not some silly kids trying to figure things out. You’re not in middle school anymore, Lia.”
I nodded. “And unlike middle school and high school, I don’t actually have to spend eight hours a day with him in the same class as me. And I don’t live next door either. So there’s really noting to worry this time.” I replied calmly.
“I think you’re taking this way to lightly again, Lia.” Kris said. “I don’t enjoy watching you get hurt.”
“Neither do I.” I answered, watching as the first of snow for this day fall from the sky.

A few years back…
“Jiatian, hurry up. You’ll miss the bus again!” mom’s voice rang out from the hallway.
This is one thing I hate about being in high school, having the school miles away from home. I have to wake up early, just so I can eat breakfast and catch the bus to get to school on time. Most of the time I make it as they close the gate. If I’m lucky enough, I would get to school with five minutes to spare before my first class.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I said as I went sailing down the stairs, I grabbed a piece of toast and waved to mom as I dashed out of the front door, said toast hanging on my mouth.
I’m being lucky today I guess, since I reached school with minutes to spare and one of the kids from my class just informed me that our homeroom teacher is actually absent, meaning we got the whole one and a half hour in the morning free. A good thing since I needed to finish up an essay I needed to pass on my history class.
“Hey, Lia! Good morning!”
I turned around only to see Sehun with sleepy eyes and a box of milk on his face. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who hates living far away from school.
“How many times do I have to tell you it’s noona?” I said, rummaging my backpack for a sandwich. I always bring an extra, or two, because I’m friends with two skinny kids who eat like it’s always their last.
Sehun’s face lit up when I gave him the sandwich. He still didn’t call me noona when he thanked me.
“Did you pull out an all-nighter again?” I asked as we slipped into our room.
“Yeah. Big competition next week.” Sehun mumbled through the sandwich.
“Tell Jongin you’re not his slave.” I said, dodging fan girls as they horded on poor Sehun.
Another thing I hate about high school. When we reached middle school, Sehun and Jongin joined this small dance club. The club members were high school students but because Jongin and Sehun are pretty much dance geniuses, they got in with no problem. They won many times, and still does until now, making a good reputation on themselves, not to mention huge fanbases. And now, even if we were just high school freshmen, many girls are always following the two of them around.
“Jongin doesn’t listen to anyone but you, you know that. He’d smack me if I tell him that.” Sehun pouted as he settled on his seat beside me.
“And speaking of the devil, where is he? If the teacher wasn’t absent, he’d be late. Again.”
“I don’t know. Lately, he’d been hanging out near the arts building more often,”
“The two of you hang out there a lot.” I pointed out. Their dance studio is on the arts building so I don’t see why Sehun would point it out like that.
“I meant the other arts building, Lia. Jongin doesn’t even know the difference between a paint brush for canvasses and  for wall painting job.”
Oh. Good point.
Sehun was about to say something else when suddenly a large hand clamped on his mouth. Sehun sputtered and flailed for a bit before he realized it was Jongin. He smacked him on the head easily, long limbs reaching out.
Jongin just laugh and sat down on the seat on front of mine, teasing Sehun and wiping his palm on the younger one’s backpack.
“Eww, Jongin. Just… gross.” I made a face.
“Good morning to you too.” Jongin greeted me with is usual eye smile. He reached an open palm towards me. I know what he wants but it's more fun making fun out of him.
“What? You want to borrow my homework? Again?” I asked, putting an innocent face (when it comes to Jongin, I'm really good at them)
“No. I already had it finished!” he pouted, keeping his open hand on my face. “You know what I want. You already gave Sehun his.”
“What did I give you, Sehunnie?” I asked innocently. Sehun grinned back and shrugged. I love him! “See? We don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jongin narrowed his eyes on the two of us. “Alright… what do you want?”
Ah, he knows us real good.
“Why are you hanging out near the arts building, Jongin?” Sehun asked mischievously.
Jongin went beet red. Kim Jongin never got embarrassed, well, not in front of his closest friends.
Sehun leaned on his desk and peered at Jongin, eyes crinkling with mischief, “It’s that girl, isn’t it? The one with the long hair? What was her name? Cha…. Cha Eunhee?”
“Cha Eunhee? You mean the one who won the national youth painter award last year? Isn’t she a year above us?” I inquired.
This is the first time ever that I hear Jongin being interested in a girl. The last girl he had got interested with was… me. But not in that kind of way. And somehow I can’t quite picture him having another girl with him who is not his mom, his sisters, or his best friend, that’s me again. Somehow, thinking about it, something uncomfortable squirms inside my stomach. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I guess it’s something because of this being the first time that Jongin found a love interest other than dancing. And creating chaos.
“Shut up, Sehun.” Jongin muttered and turned his back on us. It’s something he does every time we gang up on teasing him. He fiddled with his bag and took out several notes.
I peered through his shoulder after a few minutes of his silent treatment. Sehun was already in la-la-land so I got nothing else to do and no one to bother.
“You got the answer wrong, Kkamjong. You’re supposed to get the square root first before proceeding.” I said, seeing that he was getting the solution wrong. He’s never good at algebra that much, that was Sehun’s forte.
“Oh… so that’s why it’s hard to solve…” he muttered before proceeding with the problem.
“You said you already did your homework.” I accused.
He just chuckled and kept on. I took the remaining sandwich from my bag and slipped it onto his desk. He looked at it with delight before leaving his homework for the food.
I grabbed a chair and sat across form him. Interrogation mode, engaged.
“So, Cha Eunhee…” I grinned.
He gulped and gave me a defying look. I laughed at his red face.
“Shut up, Lia. Sehun’s just being a prick. It’s nothing.”
“Really? Too bad.” I shrugged. “I happen to be know Eunhee-unnie. She’s on the music club too.”
“Really?” he asked, eyes widening in surprise. It took him a while to compose himself as I started laughing. “Yah…”
I patted him on the head teasingly. “So… Cha Eunhee…” I repeated, waggling my eyes.
Jongin bit his lip for a few moments before sighing. He glanced at Sehun as if making sure he was really asleep. “It’s not a big deal really. It’s just that… she’s really beautiful.”
I nodded my head and give him the look to continue.
“Well… what can I say? I don’t really know her! I just see her around campus…” he sighed, deflated a bit.
“Is that why you always ditch us? To stalk her?” I narrowed my eyes on him.
“Yah! I don’t!” he pouted. “It just happens that she always have lunch with her friends at the arts building! And it’s the only time I can see her.”
“It’s not wanting to see her. It’s stalking her. Why don’t you just ask her out instead of being creepy?”
“How can I? She doesn’t know me! I can’t just go up to her and ask her out! That’s embarrassing! And creepy!” Jongin’s arms flailed around.
“I can introduce you two. We have music practice every Fridays. And unlike you who do not know my schedule of practices, I know you got Fridays off. So why don’t you visit the music room this coming Friday?” I suggested.
“Really?” he asked, and almost jumped when I nodded my head positively. “You really are the best!”
“I know.” I agreed smugly.
Jongin was practically dancing on his seat. His eyes were crinkled on the sides on that unique eye smile of his. I laughed softly. Looks like he really like Cha Eunhee. And I’m kind of happy for him.
But there’s something on the back of my mind that keeps bugging me that I had just made a mistake. Not understanding the feeling, I put it aside.
When Friday came, I went to my weekly music practice as usual. One thing I really love about my school is the very good music facilities. There were soundproof rooms, tuned and state-of-the-art instruments, good teachers and instructors, and of course, friendly seniors.
There were several seniors I had come to like, most of them were singers. I am one of the few composers, so I get to deal with more people than the other members, not that we have many members that is. Most of the members were higher years and there were only  handful of us freshmen.,
“Hey, Lia!” Kyungsoo, the wide-eyed vocalist, greeted me. He’s one of those who I got close easily with since he got a weird motherly-complex about him. And he’s one of the few persons I always got to sing my songs without complaint.
“Hello, sunbae!” I greeted back with a bow. I looked around, “Where are the rest?” I  asked since there were only  handful of club members milling around the room.
“Oh, most are busy for the festival next week. You weren’t here last meeting, right?” Kyungsoo replied.
It was my grandmom’s death anniversary so we went to church to pray for her. I had to skip school that day.
“Festival? Which one?”
“The annual fall festival. Don’t worry, I told Beakhyun-sunbae that you’d be on my group since you were absent. I hope it’s okay. We’re in charge of the music for the party.”
“Oh! Alright! Of course it’s fine! Thanks for covering me up!” I beamed. Another thing I like about Kyungsoo is his being prepared in almost all of the time.
“Why are you looking around? Who are you looking for?” Kyungsoo asked after a while. He was sitting on the desk beside the grand piano I had taken charge of. Apparently he didn’t miss how my eyes would rove the whole room every now and then.
“Oh…uh… I’m actually looking for Cha Eunhee-unnie.”
“She needed to leave to get something on the other arts building. She’s taking pretty long, now that I think of it. She should be here by now.” Kyungsoo mused.
As if sensing our concerns, Eunhee-unnie came in to the room, a familiar tan-skinned boy trailing behind her. She was smiling shyly, a hint of pink on her cheeks. She lead the boy, who was carrying boxful of decorating materials, towards one of the empty desks on one corner of the room. When the boy put the box down, I finally got to see his face.
“Jongin?” I said, making both Eunhee-unni and Jongin look at me.
“Oh, hi, Lia!” Jongin  grinned. “Kyungsoo-hyung!”
“Hello, Jonginnie.” Kyungsoo smiled. “I didn’t know you and Eunhee know each other.”
Jongin went red, glancing at the older girl beside him shyly. “I…”
“He helped me carry the box. Isn’t he kind? I didn’t know you all knew each other too.” Eunhee smiled sweetly at Jongin.
“He’s our Lia’s best friend.” Kyungsoo said.
“Oh, really? How nice for Lia to have such a gentleman of a friend. I‘m jealous.” Eunhee laughed.
Jongin went even redder I don’t know how it was possible. And he’s actually speechless! Ah, if only he’s like that all the time instead of being talkative Jongin, my life would be easier.
“Ah, noona… don’t say that.” Jongin said meekly.
“What? But you’re a gentleman, Jongin-sshi.” Eunhee beamed.
“Yeah. And you know what other thing he’s good at, unnie?” I piped, “He’s really good at dancing! We should totally invite him to the festival and have him perform for us! That’ll surely get us more audience. He’s got fan girls all over school and at other schools. And he’s such a gentleman he’ll do it for free! Right… Jonginnie?” I grinned mischievously.
Jongin gave me a ‘what-the-hell look’ but Eunhee looked at him with big eyes.
“Really? You will?” Eunhee asked hopefully.
Jongin’s facial expression changed instantly. “Sure! Why not! It’s not a big deal. When is it?”
“It’s on Saturday, next  week.” Eunhee confirmed.
Jongin suddenly looked not so excited at all. “Oh… it’s the same day as our competition.”
“Oh… too bad.” Eunhee was crest fallen.
I wanted to kick myself for putting Jongin on a compromising situation.
“But don’t worry! The competition’s early in the evening. And we can go straight to the party to give a performance after. It’ will be some sort of unwinding for the guys. We’ll be there.” Jongin reassured.
Eunhee couldn’t be happier. She would have hugged Jongin if they hadn’t just met so she settled on a pat on the shoulder. I could practically see Jongin dying inside. He’d probably skip shower for the next few days so the skin contact would not be erased.
When we’re on our way home after riding off  the bus, I couldn’t help but be a tease, telling him that he didn’t need me to introduce him to Eunhee after all. He was so ecstatic that he let it slide without retort. He kept on bouncing his way home, giving me a squeezing hug before pushing me lightly towards our front door, grinning like a fool the whole time. I just shook my head in disbelief.
When the day of the festival came, I was so busy with preparing and checking the music with Kyungsoo that I almost forgot to wish Jongin and Sehun and the rest of their group good luck. Luckily Kyungsoo gave us a five minute break and I finally was able to call Jongin. They were about to get on stage and he was buzzing with energy that I could practically hear it on the phone. After a few good lucks we hang up and I prayed that they won as I continued with my own business.
Surely, after nearly four hours and just when the party of the festival night was winding up, Jongin and his crew came, big grins on their sweaty faces.
I spotted them from my place up on the mini DJ booth on the far side of the stage. I called one of the other students to cover up for me for a while so I can congratulate both Jongin and Sehun but when I was about to approach Jongin, there was already someone with him… Cha Eunhee.
The two of them were talking over the loud bass and I can even see Jongin bouncing off his feet to the groove, a big grin on his face. Eunhee seems to be enjoying his company too. I wanted to approach but I hate to disturb Jongin’s moment so I went to go to the small refreshment booth instead.
“Hey, Lia!” a hand patted me on the back just as I was swallowing a mouthful of my cola.
I sputtered for a moment and then glared at the person behind me. Sehun.
“Yah, you stupid moron! I was about to choke, you know!” I admonished, though there was really no venom in it at all.
“Sorry.” Sehun apologized, his grin still plastered on his face. We looked at each other for a few minutes before he opened up his arms to me, I could practically see his body shudder with delight and adrenaline.
I laughed and gave him a tight hug. “Congratulations, Thehunnie! You did it!” I said. He picked me off my feet and twirled me around a few times before sending me down on the ground again. I just laughed at his antics.
Sehun gave a me a detailed narration about what happened at the competition, not even stopping for a breather until a hand clamped on his mouth. Jongin.
Jongin was grinning at me broadly, his eyes saying the words his mouth couldn’t at the meantime. He hold out a trophy in front of me and laughed. “We did it.”
“You did.” I replied.
A moment I was grinning up to him and the next thing I knew was I was encased in a tight bear hug. Honestly, I don’t know how I’ve survived his past few years with these random tight hugs.
I couldn’t help but be happy for Jongin and Sehun. It’s not the first time that they won with their crew. But it was the first time that they won with Sehun and Jongin as official members. Back them when we were in middle school, they were just backups since it wasn’t allowed for middle schoolers to actually enter high school competitions. And now, their dreams are coming true one step at a time.
I pushed Jongin and playfully punched him on the arm, “And I see how Eunhee unnie was all over you. Looks like Kai is on the move tonight. Have you asked her out already?” I waggled my eyebrows at him suggestively. I laughed at his red face.
“Yah! It’s not like that! She’s not just a girl. I happen to actually like her!” Jongin pouted.
The same queasy feeling in my stomach reminded me of its existence. I still can’t understand what it means so I brushed it aside once again.
Sehun teased Jongin along with me. We keep on mentioning Jongin’s other name, Kai. It’s the name he once used when he lost to a bet with me and Sehun. His punishment was to ‘seduce’ a girl and go out on a date with her. Of course Jongin didn’t want to, but it was either that or he was to answer his homework on his own for the whole of the school year (courtesy of Sehun) and no snack for the whole year (my idea). Jongin ended up picking a rather flirty girl and going on a date with her, which ended up with the girl slapping him halfway through their time at the club they went after dinner. Jongin let the ‘Kai’ in him, who supposedly the exact opposite of shy and kind of introvert Jongin, went as far as flirting with random girls in sight. Needless to say, the date end up in a welcomed disaster since we don’t really know what would have happened if the girl found out that ‘Kai’ was just a part of an act.
“Go on, Kai! Why don’t you show off and score a date with unnie tonight?” I nudged Jongin towards the  small booth where Eunhee was hanging out with her friends from the arts department.
Jongin made a face at me and kept his place near me and Sehun. Sehun exclaimed that he’ll never make progress with his crush if he doesn’t make a move. So Sehun dragged Jongin to the dance floor after handing me a CD. I made a dash to the DJ booth and reclaimed my earlier place, putting the CD on.
To my surprise, it was a remix of one of the first songs I had ever composed. I made it as a ballad, and the dancing crew had it remixed to a pop, hiphop beat. Soon, Jongin and Sehun were dominating the dance floor and a few minutes after, their crew joined in.
To say I was dumbfounded is an understatement. I didn’t know they used my song for their competition piece.
After the small performance the crew once again blended to the crowd which had doubled already, thanks to the impromptu show. I left the DJ stand again to the now disgruntled substitute DJ to look for Jongin and Sehun to, first; hug them for using my song, and second; to bash their heads for using my song.
I spotted Jongin first. But he was already with a beaming Eunhee. And Jongin looks like he had just swallowed the moon or the sun or both.
Now, it’s not just a squirmy uncomfortable feeling inside my stomach. It seems like it had also made its way to my chest. I don’t understand. Why do I feel this way? Why do I get… just what is this feeling?
“Hey!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Turning around, I realized it’s Sehun, so I did the second thing I was planning to do to him and  Jongin, I smacked him on the head. He yelped and pouted at me.
“Why’d you have to do that? I swear I’m going to get a concussion, or an amnesia, one of these days!” Sehun whined as he massage the side of his head I hit.
I just smiled, the lingering feeling of…something, still inside my chest. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days so I guess we’re even on the playing field.” I jibed. “And that’s also for using my song without telling me.”
“It wasn’t my idea!” he hurriedly defended, “Well, I was a part of it, but only a small part. Jongin was the mastermind! He thought that your songs are being wasted because you weren’t publishing it, so he made a copy and went to the hyungs for help in mixing it.”
“Jongin? He didn’t even know I… I didn’t even tell anyone I made this song! How the heck did he discover it?!” the reason I was surprised the hear the song was because it was one of those I made back when I was just discovering my passion for creating music. It’s one of the handfuls that I kept on my workroom.
“Speaking of whom… I think Kai is going all out tonight.” Sehun had his signature smirk again.
I followed his eyes and saw that Jongin was dancing with Eunhee. The two of them were on the middle of the dance floor, holding each other close and smiling to each other.
Needless to say, after that night, Eunhee and Jongin started dating.
And the uncomfortable and nameless feeling inside my heart became constant.
 

a/n: well... i hope the story is getting clearer... and oh! there's D.O.!! it's for his birthday tommorrow.. he's turning 20! saenggil chukhae hamnida!  we're finally of the same age! haha...

i might...or might just..yeah... post the next chapter tomorrow, as an advance birthday celebration for Kai's 19th birthday too... hehe...

catch ya later...