Present…
“Hey, Lia!”
I turned and here goes Sehun with his easy smile. I waved and he gave me a side hug as he settled on a barstool beside me. We both had the day off from school, mine because of a sudden faculty meeting, and Sehun just have no classes during these days of the week.
The barista walked towards us and fixed Sehun a tall glass of bubble tea. “Hey, Sehunnie! Long time no see.”
“Luhan-hyung! I didn’t know you work here!” Sehun beamed. “When did you come back?”
Luhan is one of Kris closest friends. They met here, short after we arrived form Canada. Sehun knew Luhan through Kris and the younger one taking a rather affectionate liking towards Luhan. Whenever they are together, they are inseparable. But Luhan had to go back to Beijing a year ago for some family matters and he had just come back a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t even tell Kris that he was coming back and surprised us all.
“I haven’t been here for very long. The owner, Yixing, is a friend. So he offered me the job when I told him I need something to do for the meantime as I wait for calls from the companies I applied.” Luhan explained.
Sehun nodded and started catching up with Luhan, forgetting about me for a few minutes. I laughed at Sehun when he finally remembered I was sitting with him in the first place.
“Aah… I think something’s missing…” Luhan mused as he looked at me and Sehun back and forth. “Or should I say, someone’s missing? Where’s Kkamjong?”
Sehun gave me a sidelong look. I kept my mouth shut. There was a tense atmosphere in the air like a spring ready to snap.
“Kai is probably with Eunhee.” Sehun answered after Luhan sent us confusing looks.
“Eunhee? That name seems familiar.” Luhan wondered.
“Well, she’s Kai’s girlfriend.” Sehun replied, sending me yet another glance.
“Is she now? Well, I don’t think he’s got himself a girlfriend named Eunhee before I left. Her name sounding familiar doesn’t makes sense if she’s one of the new ones.” Luhan insisted.
“Well, you probably heard her name before then. She used to be Jongin’s girlfriend almost 4 years ago, but they broke up. They had just gotten together again.” Sehun explained.
Luhan nodded his head. “Oh, so it’s the first girlfriend then. Now, I remember.”
Everything went silent again.
“Well, I really think he should be here, either way, that Kkamjong. With Lia leaving this weekend, he should be spending time with you guys.” Luhan pouted. “That kid used to stick to you like glue. But he’s nowhere to be found just days before you leave.” he slid another lemon tea towards me.
“You’re leaving??” Sehun burst out. Lucky he had the sense to swallow the bubble tea he was having before asking me or I would have ended up soaked in spit-bubble tea mix. “Why are you leaving?! I didn’t know about this either! Yah, Li Jiatian! What is happening here? Is this because  of Kai? I swear I‘m going to kill that kid!”
“Sehunnie, calm down.” Luhan said, gently tugging at the younger boy’s wrist and making him sit back down on the barstool. “Lia, what’s happening? Why didn’t you tell Sehun you were leaving? I’ve been gone for 11 months and things fall apart between you three?” he looked at me with those wide curious eyes.
“Yah, Lia-noona…” Sehun pouted at me, “You’re not really leaving, are you?”
I made a face as I look at Sehun. I smiled, hoping it reached my eyes. “I am, Sehun. Not even your aegyo can change that.” Sehun was about to say something but I cut him, knowing what he would say. “And it’s not about him. I received the acceptance letter from Berkeley a month ago. Let’s just say that back then I was kind of reluctant to go… but now, I think it’s a blessing in disguise.” I shrugged.
Sehun made me face him and shook me hard enough to make me feel dizzy. “Noona! You are so not leaving! How can you leave me here alone? Kai is so busy with his stupid kind of a life and you’re leaving! I made it through middle school and high school with you guys always with me! How can you abandon me now?”
“Yah, Oh Sehun, I’m going to leave tomorrow if you do not stop trying to make puke what I had just taken in.” I warned. Thankfully, with Luhan’s help, Sehun stopped.
“I hate Jongin. Why does he have to be Kai and make your life miserable? He’s so stupid for not realizing you’re always there.” Sehun said.
My eyes widened at that. I never knew that even Sehun noticed my feelings. I’m starting to wonder if only Kai is the oblivious one to not notice at all. But seeing that he’s one of the densest person I’ve ever met, it doesn’t really surprise me.
“What do you mean, Sehun? Does…” Luhan turned to me. “You like Kai?”
“It doesn’t matter if I do or not. I’m leaving. It doesn’t change a thing.” I dismissed.
Sehun glared at me. Yes, he did, the brat! I glared back, a natural instinct when I am being glared at when I knew I did nothing wrong.
“Just so you know, I hate that you keep this all to yourself instead of telling him. That’s just stupid. Letting him hurt you over and over is being plain stupid.” Sehun muttered. “I hate the both of you.”
I couldn’t help but to hug Sehun. “We’re not leaving you, really. You know I love you too much.” I said. “Let’s just say that while Kai is trying to get what he had lost, I’m going to start letting go and look for what is supposed to be mine. In that way, you wouldn’t hate us as much anymore. And at least you won’t label me as your stupid noona anymore.”
Sehun just sighed. “I hate Kai and Lia. I just want Jongin and Jiatian.”
“Me too. Me too.” I whispered back.

A few years back…
Kai strolled down the school hallways with girls following him, some discreet, most as obvious as the hot summer sun outside.
I watched him walk around, oblivious to the fan club following him, or at least I think he’s oblivious to it. At first I found it disturbing how Jongin suddenly became Kai. Sehun and I tried to talk sense into him but to no avail.
Jongin and Kai is really the same. They’re both the same smiley, shy teenage boy who loves dancing. The same boy who always steals my melon cake and Sehun’s tea. The same one who would come into my house unannounced, and stay for dinner especially if it’s leftover Saturdays. The same kid who always drag Sehun to one corner of the room to copy math homework. The only difference was… Kai never again had opened his heart to any girl. Not after Eunhee had broken up with him and then went to France to broaden up her experience and her art.
The breakup had been quiet, it seemed like Eunhee and Jongin were on good terms. They dated for nearly 8 months and as far as I know, and Jongin tell me and Sehun almost everything, the two of them were doing good. Eunhee was a sweetheart and got along with Jongin’s friends, Jongin was in friendly terms with Eunhee’s friends as well. But somehow along the their 7th month, the relationship gradually weakened and they eventually broke up. They didn’t fight at all, one day Jongin just climbed into my room and hid under my covers, muttering that Eunhee had broken up with him. He never told us why. We didn’t probe.
The result of the break up was… Kai. Kai the perfect boyfriend material. Kai the playboy.
I never hated Kai. I could never hate him. Because Kai is Jongin who was shielding his heart from the trauma it had suffered. And somehow along the way, as I watched on the sidelines of Jongin’s life, I realized what the insistent extra rapid beating of my heart when he’s around and being the goofy kid I knew since elementary means. I realized what the aching feeling in my chest means when he’s around Eunhee. I realized why I miss him when he can’t make it to class because of dance practices or competitions. I realized why, even if I hate the fact I’m not the first girl he tells whenever they win on competitions or when something major happens, my heart still sips a bet when he hugs me and tell me the good news. I realized that the love I have for him as a friend had already developed into something more.
Somehow, I fell in love with my best friend.
“Hey, Lia, you’re drooling!” Sehun wiped my mouth with my necktie playfully.
I shoved him so hard he fell off the floor. I laughed as I helped him back up.
“Why do you always have to hurt me?” Sehun whined.
“It’s how I show you my love.” I replied.
“Should I wish for you to hate me then?”
I laughed at that. Jongin…no, Kai, made his way towards us. The horde of fan girls finally dispersed for the meantime. Kai dragged his seat and pushed in towards my desk before sitting down facing me.
“Hey! Who wants to go clubbing tonight? I got us some passes!” Kai announced excitedly.
“I don’t think we’re even old enough to get passes, let alone go clubbing.” I arched a reprimanding brow at Kai. Another thing he’d got similar to Jongin is the recklessness when it was doing things that high school kids are not really allowed to, like clubbing. The only thing is, Kai takes it to the extreme sometimes.
“It’s the weekend, Lia! Besides, Kris-hyung is going.” Kai whined.
“The more reason I can’t come.” I turned to Sehun. “You aren’t going, are you? You’re too young!”
“We are of the same age, Lia. It’s just few weeks difference.” Sehun deadpanned.
I huffed. “Still!”
“They play good songs there, Lia. Come on.” Kai insisted.
“I’ll pass. I have to help Minseok-oppa this weekend with the shop. Jongdae has to cram a month-worth of lessons so he can pass history.”
“You’re spending way too much time with Minseok-hyung! I’m getting jealous!” Kai whined.
I blinked at him, cursing my heart for leaping a few knots from his words. If only he means he’s jealous on some other way. I had to force my self to calm down.
“You’re spending way too much time clubbing, I’m finally getting my precious time spent on something worthwhile.” I retorted sarcastically.
Kai pouted at me. I ignored him so he turned to Sehun. Ever the traitor, Sehun agreed to come. But Kai promised him that Luhan would be there so I don’t really blame him.
That night, I couldn’t sleep for some reason. So I went out for a night walk on the neighborhood. A small park is near our place and I wished I have a dog to walk or something. Mom is allergic to dogs so we couldn’t have one even if we wanted too, the reason Kris adopted Ace, the alpaca stuffed toy he claims as his son. (Ridiculous, I know.)
I sat down on one of the swings and enjoy the cool summer night. Autumn is waiting on the next corner so the nights are less humid, perfect for a late night stroll.
It’s a perfect night until a figure came approaching from one side of the road. I couldn’t see his face but the way he walks, even if it was drunken, I still can recognize him. Jongin.
My guess was proven once he was in front of the swing I was sitting on. It was Jongin, drunk enough that he was singing one of Westlife’s popular ballads, in an embarrassingly out-of-tune-and-horribly-drunk kind of way. The hair on my arms and neck stood on end as Jongin pass by. His voice is not bad per se, during normal times. But when he’s drunk… its unbearable.
He passed by me, not recognizing me since I had one of my hoodies on. He did a double take though and went back towards me. I quietly observed him as he hovered above me, his hands on the chain keeping the swing attached to the bars.
“Hello, beautiful. What are you doing here alone?” he rasped.
I covered my nose in disgust, he smells like the club, smoke and drink and sweat, and maybe a few varieties of perfume and cologne from different person he had danced with, but what had taken me aback was how he reeked of alcohol.
It’s one of the things I do not appreciate with Kai, the alcohol. Jongin drinks, but he does not ever overdo it, not after the first time he got drunk and ended up with the world’s biggest hangover (according to him anyways), but Kai… he drinks like there’s no tomorrow.
“My God, Jongin! Did you went swimming on a lake of liquor?” I blurted, standing up and nearly knocking him down to the ground thanks for his nonexistent sense of balance now that he’s intoxicated.
“I didn’t… (hic), but maybe you should bring me to one so I can drown all my sorrows.” he replied, swaying back and forth until I took one of his arms and slid it over my shoulders to steady him. “Who re you? Are you going to take advantage of a drunken guy like me? Oh…hoho, no, no, no! No one takes advantage of Kai! Kai always gets what he wants, but nobody gets Kai!” he slurred.
I would have smack him if I wasn’t preoccupied not letting the both of us fall down. He’s very heavy and drunk, I felt like I’m going to collapse soon. “Shut up, Jongin! I’m just going to take you home!”
“I am not Jongin! I am Kai! Jongin was the weakling who let Eunhee go! Such a stupid one! Jongin was the one who let the perfect girl go because…(hic) because he couldn’t tell her that she was more important than his friends!”
“Girlfriends come and go, Jongin, but your friends sticks with you through thick and thin.” I said. He’s drunk and I’m willing to ignore the bitter stab in my chest that his words had done. “Me and Sehun sticks with you even though your crazy, so that should mean something, right?”
Kai shoved me, kind of. I stumbled a little because he’s strong but can’t control his limbs and it’s so hard to guide him. Thinking about it, somehow it resembles our relationship. Jongin is force that always needs guidance and I’m always trying my best to help, but he almost always hurt me unconsciously.
And I let him. I’m such a big fool.
“You and Sehun sticks with me because you love me! Eunhee was my world! But she said she can’t have me when you have me!” Jongin slurred.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I sighed. “Please, Jongin, tell me that this is the last time you’re going to get yourself drunk! I can’t understand you! I doubt even you can understand you!”
He suddenly stopped and put his hands on my shoulders. “Can’t you understand? She left because…” he trailed off, looking at me in the eyes.
The streetlight was on his side of the street so I can’t see his face, I couldn’t see his expression.
Then suddenly his face was inching towards mine.
. . .

When the morning comes, Kris slipped into his seat on the dining table, groaning as he cradled his head with his hands. “Lia… aspirin.”
I rolled my eyes and went to get what the asked. “You’ve just turned 21 recently and you’re drinking as if you can’t drink for the rest of your life.” I reprimanded, handing him the bottle of aspirin along with a glass of ice-cold water.
“It’s not my fault Luhan was buying! It’s rare for him not to be a cheapskate.” Kris replied. “By the way, where’s Kai?”
I had to turn away from Kris when he mentioned Kai. I’m sure my face was more red than a beet’s. I still can’t believe Kai had tried to kiss me last night. Well, he was really drunk. And because he was so intoxicated, I had no problem punching him before he even got to do what his drunken mind was telling him to. I just hope that he won’t remember in the morning. I don’t want to deal with the awkwardness, and neither do I want to deal with him when he remembers that his hangover wasn’t just because of alcohol.
“He’s sleeping at my workroom.” I replied, keeping my back to Kris.
“God, he must be really drunk. Good thing he actually went home and not went with that girl like we thought he did.” Kris groaned. “How did you end up bringing him here anyway?”
“I met him at the park while I was out for a walk. I couldn’t bring him back to their house with him unconscious like that. His mom would have a heart attack.” I wasn’t lying, just purposely leaving details out.
As if on cue, Kai came groaning, slumping next to Kris as he too clutched his head. I tried not to blush now that he’s there, praying that he won’t remember anything from last night.
“Do you guys have…Tylenol or anything? I think someone bashed me with a hammer.” Kai groaned.
“Must have bashed you so light that you can still talk about it.” Kris teased.
Kai just groaned even louder, slumping on the kitchen table. “Kill me now!”
I shook my head at his antics and went to get them both a bowl of hangover soup, the thing that got me to get up so early on a Saturday morning. The grateful sighs were worth the trouble though and before I knew it, the bowls were empty.
“What happened last night, Lia? The last thing I remember was… I don’t really know what happened last night…” Kai frowned. “I think we met at the park.”
“We did. You were so drunk you nearly…” oops… I think I better not tell him that.
“I nearly what?” Kai asked.
“You nearly puked on me!” I covered. “Well, the two of you better sleep it off. I’m going to Minseok-oppa’s.”
“Why are you always with him? Hang out with me too!” Kai whined.
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve got a date everyday, Kai. How can I hang out with you?” I said as I gathered my things.
“Then have a date with me!” he grinned.
Kris smacked him on the back of the head. “She’s my sister, your best friend, not just some girl toy, you !”
Kai groaned even harder, the blow to his head adding to the hangover. “Aish, hyung! I was just kidding!”
“I don’t like the way you’re kidding about things like that, Kai. And to tell you frankly, I don not like Kai. Jongin will never say that to Lia.” Kris reprimanded.
“Lia is not Jiatian, just like how Kai is not Jongin.” Kai reasoned out. “Jongin was weak, Kai is not, and he’s here to stay.”
“Well, I don’t want Kai around my sister. And my sister happen to be Jiatian. And Lia is Jiatian no matter how you view it.” Kris insisted. “What happened, Jongin? Don’t tell me you’re still not over that girl…”
“This is not the proper time to talk about that, hyung. I’ve got a really bad hangover!” Kai said and stood form the chair he was occupying. “I’m going home.”
“If you don’t talk about it, how are you going to get over her?” Kris yelled after him, getting no response. He then looked at me, “I meant what I said. I don’t like Kai. Even if Jongin says he’s Kai and vice versa, I don’t really think he realizes that he’s pushing you away by being Kai.”
“He’s not pushing me away, or anyone at that, Kris. He’s just hurting. He’s just trying to heal.” I amended.
“No, he’s trying to keep everyone at an arms length because he’s scared to let anyone in. And he’s too stubborn to accept that what he had with his ex-girlfriend is over. In the past few months after their breakup, how many girls had he gone out with? He‘s not even serious with them, just go out and flirt and play with them! That‘s not the Jongin I knew!”
I sighed. “It’s because, like what he said, he’s not Jongin, he’s Kai. Let’s just give him his time.”
“And how about you? Until when are you going to be Lia, the great understanding best friend? When will Jiatian come back and fight for what she wants?” Kris asked meaningfully.
“I’d rather be Lia the best friend, than be Jiatian and lose him completely.” I said.
“The two of you are stupid, just so you know.” Kris deadpanned.
“I know.”
 

a/n: sooo... yeah, D.O.'s not here but... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DO KYUNGSOO!!!!