I stared up at my plain ceiling, the fan hovered above me. I felt the wind brush against my cheeks. I sat upright, my room has been a total mess, wrappers strewn around the floor and books lying all around. Its 2 months, since his death.

***

I'm Bang Jiyong, aged 16. I have always been positive and cheerful and energetic. Yup, you name it. However, recently my crush, Howon died in a car accident. I was involved too but I managed to survive. And since the funeral, I've given up on myself. Why? My life without him is just meaningless. I feel like a failure, being in love with him for at least half of my life. Yet I've never been able to tell him how I felt. And now he's gone.

***

"Jiyong," Yongguk stood at the door, holding a tray of food, "you have to eat something nutritious. You can't just survive on junks."

I refused his offer and explained, "Its okay, oppa, I'm not hungry."

Yongguk looked behind him and yelled, "Yah, Youngjae can you talk to her? She's not eating... " I heard footsteps coming up the stairway, Youngjae was here also. He poked his head into my room, his face carrying a wide smile, "I heard that someone's not eating well."

"Ah, Youngjae-oppa, sorry you had to see this mess." I sighed, my room is total reflection of my feelings. A mess.

"Its alright, we can fix that up."

"I'll leave you to talk to her Youngjae-ssi." Youngjae replied with  a nod of acknowledgment. He sat beside me on my bed, still holding on to the tray of food, "Come on Jiyong, you have to eat something. You're making your brother worry."

I relented, what could I do? I only listen to Howon and Youngjae and now since Howon is gone, Youngjae is the only other person who could make me listen. He whipped up a scoop of rice and fed it to me, I chewed slowly, the taste of rice lingered around my mouth.

Youngjae chuckled, "Wasn't that bad huh? Take another scoop, say AHHH~"

"Yah, Youngjae-oppa, I'm not a baby. Don't need to go 'AHHH~', I can do it myself."

Seeing my stubbornness, Youngjae hands the spoon into my hands and watches intently as I eat. "Youngjae-oppa, how interesting is it to watch me eat?"

He blushes slightly and laughs silently, "You're just naturally cute, ever since you were young."

I gorged myself with a spoonful of vegetable, I swallowed it hard and retorted, "Me? Cute? Yah right. I'm a tomboy and I don't do cute. Suit yourself if you want to think that way."

Youngjae shakes his head and shoves my spoon into my mouth, "Quit explaining and eat your food dummy."

"MMMHHH, gear-tsat-soon-ouch-os-my-moutsh!" ("MMMHHH, get that spoon out of my mouth")

"Alrightie," Youngjae loosens his grip on my spoon. I pull it out and swallowed my half chewed vegetables. Yuk.

Grinning cheekily, Youngjae teases, "I'll do that again if you stop eating."

"Okay, I'll eat some more." I scoffed, letting out a soft grunt.

I was me again, felt good to be myself again. I have to let Howon go now. It's hard but I'll try. I know I can.

***

A/N: Youngjae, you're making me spazz now. HAHA! Alrighties hope you guys like chapter 2 ^_^ please look forward to chp 3 :>
I love you guysss~~ :D