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Title: 8/10

My dear heart sounds more like a fluffy story to me, but I think it fits the story quite well.

Foreword: 3/15

Sorry I graded you hard on this! I just couldn't understand the foreword. I'm not sure if I should've put this under grammar, but since I mentioned it, I'll leave it here. 

"If the love of your life dies in your front...?" => do you mean in front of you?

"Or if the only single remaining thing from that love is robbed away from you the day he borns… ?" => um...I don't really know what you're trying to say here...do you mean everything except love? or everything including love? and from who's birth? Park Bom? In that case, he? I thought Park Bom was a her...unless you were talking about someone else. from the day he was born(no 's')? and the 'or' doesn't have to be there.

"If everything seems to go against you … ? … Even the ones you love ?" => this sentence makes me believe the "ones you love" are things. Do you mean the people you love? and remember, each line is finishing the sentence "What would you do," so "what would you do even the ones you love" wouldn't make sense. Maybe combine the last two lines?

Overall Look: 5/5

I like your background and poster(:

​Grammar: 10/30

Commas, commas, commas! And periods. ALWAYS PUT A PERIOD AT THE END OF A SENTENCE IF ANOTHER PUNCTUATION MARK (such as a question mark) DOES NOT FIT.

example 1: 

“ Thank you dad ” She smiled back <=> “Thank you, dad.” She smiled back.

4 things wrong about that sentence: 1. You don't need a space between the first quotation mark and the word 'thank'.

2. There needs to be a comma after you.

3. There needs to be a period after dad.

4. There needs to be a period after back.

example 2:

“ Dara... you’re suffocating me ” Bom giggled as she tried to get rid off her best friend’s suffocating embrace <=> "Dara, you're suffocating me," Bom giggled as she tried to get out of her best friend's suffocating embrace.

1. No need for elipses. Nothing dramatic is happening. Just put a comma.

2. COMMA after me.

3. Rid of an embrace? O.o

4. It's awkward if you use suffocating two times right next to each other. 

OH ONE MORE THING: THE 'K' IN KOREAN NEEDS TO BE CAPITALIZED.

Spelling: 19/20

Ok => Okay

​Flow: 12/15

The beginning went too fast, and if a person didn't read the foreword, they might just leave. Might as well just make the beginning a flashback. I don't know...i think it's weird showing how Bom became 'the love of his life' in 4 chapters. The rest went slower than I expected, though. Please, stick with one pace.

​Originality: 3/5

It's not that creative, but it's not unoriginal either...I liked it, personally, but there are many stories with the same plot floating around AFF.

Total: 60/100

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To be honest, I liked your story. I'm not a huge TOPxBom shipper, but the story was enjoyable. Just review your work for grammar mistakes!

Reviewed by: musicxdance

got any questions? pm us! remember to credit us in the foreword!