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{STORY LINK}

Title: 5/10

I think your title was too much. Too many words and it kind of got long. It also didn't really grab my attention, but i could tell that you took time and effort into finding a nice title. Maybe this was just too much. One thing i liked though was how nicely it fit into your theme of your story. It didn't make me want to click on your story, but did make me wonder what it was about.

Foreword: 7/15

Um...boring. It was four sentences with two quotes. Even with four little sentences you already told the whole entire story. You should tell the basic plot, and not what's going to happen. I know that someone likes her, and take her. That is basically the whole entire story right there. From that, the readers know what's going to happen and might not want to read it. But you did kind of leave a cliff hanger, which is nice. Even though you description wasn't that good your foreword was better! I also loved the trailer, which was a nice touch.

Overall Look: 4/5

The colors and font seemed to fit the theme of the story. I didn't have to poke my eyes out at the extreme colors. You didn't have a poster so I couldn't judge that, but the background was nice and it matched well. The character chart was pretty also.

Grammar: 24/30

I found a few mistakes that I suggest you fix. Maybe you should re-read before you post them, so you can catch the silly mistakes. OR = original CR = correct.

OR: "Jessica just told me that her and Kibum were trying to communicate more in English."

CR: "Jessica just told me that she and Kibum were trying to communicate more in English."

OR: "Neh. Don't worry about me on him."

CR: "Neh. Don't worry about me when you talk about him."

OR: "It's just that when Donghae and her broke the friendship, it was a hard time for her. She had a hard time getting over it."

CR: "It's just that when Donghae and her broke their friendship, it was a hard time for her. She had trouble getting over it."

OR: Jessica and Yoona waited patiently during class until the bell kept ringing for classes.

CR: Jessica and Yoona waited patiently during class until the bell started ringing for classes.

Spelling: 20/20

I didn't see any spelling errors. Which is good. But i couldn't really judge the Korean stuff, since i'm not good at Korean. I just hoped that you spelled those words right.

Flow: 11/15

Some parts were too fast. I was wondering what was going on. Other times it was too slow. So during the story i was partly confused, and partly bored.

Originality: 2/5

There are many stories out there where the boy and girl hate each other for some reason. Very overused. I did like how you added your own style to it though. It was a nice touch. But once again the plot was kind of cliche.

Total: 73/100

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Reviewed by: StarlightTango

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