I stared up at my bedroom ceiling. It was purple. It had been so messy to paint it, but I had insisted on getting Appa to help me do it. There were little white starts painted everywhere. I remembered that day…

I wonder, will he paint it back over once I’m gone?

“Appa…What is this?”

“Oh, that…” he scratched the back of his head.

“You…”

“I’m sorry, ChaCha.”

I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts. There. Near the top, Choi Sang Hyo. I tapped ‘create new message’…

But I couldn’t think of what to say.

“Hey, Sanghyo, I’m moving back to Korea! Bye! Have a good life!”

I sighed and tossed my phone on the floor. I rolled over on my bed so that I was lying on my side. Moving…. I was going to stay with Umma in South Korea. Appa couldn’t pay the taxes… Debt…

I fell asleep like that, lying on my bed.

The next day, I did some research. I went on google Korea and looked up ‘하늘’.Lots of pictures came up about the actress Kim Ha Neul. I had to search around for a while before I found Umma. Min Ha Neul. She went by that name, even when she was married to Appa. Little by little, I found out more about Umma. She was an actress early in her career, and now she was very rich. She lived in Seoul, and she designed some fashion. There wasn’t too much about her. It seemed she was old news by now.

I closed my laptop and ran downstairs.

“Appa!”

“hm?” Appa was watching soccer in the living room.

“Appa, will you take me to the department store? I need to buy a gift.”

I looked around for a while. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for exactly, just that I needed something to give to Sanghyo and that I’d know it when I saw it. Towards the middle of the store, there was a display showing off ‘Message Bears’. You pressed a button on the teddy bear and recorded a message, and then if you pressed the button again it would play it. They reminded me of the messages that Jan Di and Ga Eul sent to each other in ‘Boys over Flowers’. Sanghyo would probably appreciate that.

“Appa. Can I have this, please?” I turned to Appa.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” We checked out of the store. In the car, I put the message bear in my lap and tried to think of what to say. How do you tell your best friend that you’re suddenly moving to another country? I just hoped she wouldn’t hate me. Once we got home, I recorded a message on the bear. It was a little long, but it should work. I wrote ‘For Unni’ on the tag and asked Appa to give it to Sanghyo after I left. I was leaving in a week, and I had decided to pretend that nothing was happening until I left. It would be better that way, it would prevent drama. At least, I hoped.

The next week was torture. Trying to smile happily at Sanghyo and my other friends, while keeping a mental countdown to doomsday. Leaving was terrible, of course, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was waiting for me in Seoul. Maybe I would meet f(x)? or Nu’est? These were the thoughts that kept me going until Friday.

After the bus stopped on Friday, Sanghyo looked at me.

“Heechan, you should stay the night at my house tonight.” We stepped off the bus.

“You know I want to, but I have so much stuff going on this weekend.” I said. “Mianhe.”

“No problem. Maybe next weekend, then. …Heechan, are you okay?” I just noticed that she had been staring at me.

“Of course! Just… It looks like it’s going to rain.” The sky was cloudy, and the air felt heavy. But the clouds refused to let go of their burden. Stubborn things. I suppose they were just waiting so that I wouldn’t get wet.

“Oh. See you Monday, then!” Sanghyo waved and started jogging towards her house. I watched her for a while, then turned and went towards Appa’s black car waiting for me on the corner.

All of my stuff was already packed and shipped. My room looked empty, the walls stripped bare of their posters and the floor –for once- completely bare. All I had left was the backpack and suitcase that I was going to take with me to the airport tomorrow.

“You’d better get some sleep. It’s a big day tomorrow.” Said Appa.

“Yeah.” I replied.

“Hey. Chacha, it’ll all be okay. Trust me, alright?”

“Course, Appa. Love you, good night~”

We had to wake up at 7 the next day. Really, that was almost sleeping in for me, but It felt earlier because the neighborhood was still so sleepy. We pulled out of the driveway, and I took one last long look at the house I had lived in almost my entire life. It hurt to pass all of the places I saw every day and think that I may never see them again. I my ipod and closed my eyes.

The airport was crowded and I was groggy from my long nap. We made our way through security and to the gate. I saw both Korean and American people here, going to and from their homes. There were mostly middle-aged men that I assumed were traveling for work, and a couple of families.

“Remember to give Sanghyo that teddy bear. And please explain to Coach Kim. I love you, Appa.”

“I love you too, ChaCha.” Appa replied, pulling me into a hug.

“10:30 flight to Seoul, Class A, you may now board the aircraft.”

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Quick disclaimer and credit to Boys Over Flowers for the teddy bear idea~