Kyungsoo POV

After that kiss my life turned upside down... My happiness was thrown out the van's window that day. At the dorm, every single second feels like hell. The one person I want to talk to acts if I was not there. Like I’m invisible. Every time we all watch a movie as a group, he would choose to sit away from me, even though there is an empty spot right next to me. .. When we eat, he would refuse to eat my food and order take-out. And every time I would make the things he loves, but still continues to refuse. He moved out the room and slept on the couch… And when I try to ask him, to sleep in his own bed, He just yells and curses at me words that make my heart ache. He has been getting really close with Sehun and touchy too. I’m not jealous, because I know Sehun has Luhan.. But, it hurts me... It hurts my heart, to see him smile at someone else, for him to hug others. Holding hands with Sehun... Playing around with Sehun... I want to be the reason he smiles. I want hugs from him... I like holdings his warm hands... It was fun when we played... I want to change back to what we use to be... I wished we never kissed...I wish I can go back in time and push him away... But, there’s apart of me that wants to touch his lips with my lips. Longing for kiss...for his body. For him...

“Hey Kyungsoo, what’s wrong? You have been down for the past two weeks” Suho- hyung asked me.

I would tell you but I’m afraid that I will break down again… I threw on a fake smile and accepted his arm, which was now wrapped around my shoulder. We continued to walk to our dressing room, since we just got down with a music show. Even though I hated seeing the ‘Kaisoo’ posters, I still loved singing and being a part of this group.  Suho and I sat down on the couch, and I laid my head on his shoulder, trying to not think about Kai and relax. But it’s no use, because guess who decides to sit in front of us…  ‘Sekai’, that’s the name fans gave them two. It actually made me cry that night I found out about it. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see them laugh and play.  I felt Suho play with my hair gently.

“You know Suho, I Don’t think Lay-hyung will like it if I tell him about this”

“Lay is very understanding, besides he knows my heart is only for him”

I opened my eyes and pouted to Suho, “What about me?”

Suho tickled my belly, “Of course you too,” he said as I giggled. I stopped when I heard a frustrated grunt from Kai. I sat up straight and lowered my head, playing with my fingers, as I remembered Kai doesn’t like it when I touch Suho-hyung.  I saw Suho walk away and that’s when I started to get nervous.

“Yah, Kyung- pass me that water bottle” Sehun yelled at me. God I ing hate that nickname he gave me. I really don’t know how someone so sweet like Luhan can be with Sehun who is everything opposite of sweet.

“, never mind. I got to go to Luhan. Bye kai”

I heard the door open and close. Knowing that it was only Kai and I in the room, I lifted my head up and looked at Kai. He was bobbing his head side to side, while he listened to his ipod.

“Your burning holes”

I froze. “Huh?”

Kai opened his eyes and took his earphones out, “Why are you staring at me?”

I blushed because I thought he couldn’t notice me. I blushed even harder when I noticed that he just talked to me for the first time in two weeks. All of the sudden, I felt tears roll down my cheeks.

“Why are you crying?”

“Y-you spoke to m-me…”

“Well stop… I don’t like it,” I looked at his worried face, “It makes me sad”