Seungri- What Can I Do?

                Here you were again. Your feet had somehow led you right to the place you had vowed never to go again. You shivered and pulled your jacket tighter around yourself. Your breath came out in white puffs as you looked up towards the top of the building. Third floor down count from left to right four across. The light was on and you sighed. There was no way to know it was him; it could be his roommate for all you knew.

                “What am I doing?” you asked aloud. You wondered how pathetic you looked right now standing outside of his apartment building at two in the morning. You didn’t even know what you were doing up at two in the morning. You swallowed hard and took a step back. It was time for you to get back to your apartment building; no matter how loud your best friend and her boyfriend were being at this moment. Oh right, that’s why you were there.

                You bit your lip before turning around. As you did, a single snowflake drifted down onto your shoulder. It quickly faded into a damp spot on the fabric of your jacket, but another one followed its path down. It was just like on that day, the day you pushed him away.

                “I think it’s time to stop this,” you said, looking down at the frozen ground. White snow muffled the world around you, but the words that fell from your lips were deafening.

               “What?” Seungri asked, pulling down his scarf that had been covering half of his face. He didn’t want someone to recognize him; especially since he was supposed to be going on a date with you.

                “I think we need to break up,” you said, squeezing your gloved hands tightly as you tried to keep your courage up. You were tired of being the girlfriend of a celebrity.  You were tired of not seeing him for months on end and then finally, when he returned, not having any time to spend together. Or, if you did get time, it was spent with him passed out on the couch or the two of you in bed.

                You wanted dates. You wanted to be able to hold hands in public without causing a scandal. You wanted to proudly tell your parents who your boyfriend was instead of hiding it from them. You were being selfish, but a breakup was always selfish. “No,” he said, definitely.

                “No?” you asked, staring at him in disbelief.

                “I don’t think we should break up,” he said, glaring you down, “Don’t play jokes like this, jagiya, it’s not funny.”

                “I’m not joking!” you exclaimed, a little too loudly, “I’m done!” He recoiled from you as if you had hit him.

                “No, don’t do this,” he argued, reaching towards you, but you took a step back.

                “I’m done, Seungri-ssi.”

                “Call me Oppa.”

                “I can’t,” your throat clenched. You knew if you stayed any longer tears would be running down your face. So, you turned and began walking in the direction of your friend’s car. She was parked across the street texting her boyfriend while waiting for you to do the deed.

                A snowflake drifted down from above slowly before others began to follow. The sky was crying frozen tears. “What can I do?” his voice called to you, thick from emotion. You stopped in your tracks, the crunch of your boots ending. It was quiet once more.

                You shook your head before continuing on. “What can I do?” he shouted at you again and again until you were running towards your sanctuary. You couldn’t answer that question. There was nothing he could do. It wasn’t him, it was you.

                “I’m an idiot,” you mumbled as slow flurried around you. You shivered and pulled your scarf up over your nose, hoping maybe the tip of your nose wouldn’t feel frozen by the time you reached the apartment. You were about to take another step forward when a familiar melody stopped you. It was Seungri’s voice, singing to you that you needed to pick up his call.

                You had forgotten to change his ringtone.

              You shakily pulled your phone out of your pocket and pressed answer before holding it up to your ear. “Yeobseyo?” you whispered, the scarf muffling your words to the point that you had to pull it down and repeat the greeting.

                “Where are you?” Seungri’s sharp tone asked. You winced before glancing back up at the window.

                “Why?” was your retort, a poor one, but it was the only one that you seemed to be able to manage at this time.

                “Because there’s a girl that’s been standing outside my building for the past ten minutes wearing the hat and scarf I got you for our one hundred day anniversary. She also happened to pick up her phone right as I called you.”

                “That’s a weird coincidence.” There was a long pause.

                “If it is you, come inside before you die of cold. If it’s not you, walk faster. It’s bad enough I have to see you in my sleep.”

                “You what?”

                “We dated for two years. I gave you everything and you think that I’m just going to get over you?” he asked in an exasperated voice, “I’m not the playboy the media says I am.” The snow seemed to turn everything into a white haze, almost pushing you towards the comfort of his building. Your feet slowly made their way to the front door before you entered the passcode to get inside.

                “I know you’re not.”

                “Then why?”

                “Because I’m selfish,” you whispered back as you slowly took the stairs up, leaving little puddles on each step from your boots.

                “So am I,” he replied, his voice turning into a whisper as well. You wondered why as you finally climbed the last flight of stairs and opened the door at the end of the hall. He was standing in front of his door, his phone still up to his ear.

                “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, afraid to take the last few steps to him.

                “You don’t have to apologize if you get your little over here in the next ten seconds,” he said before finally hanging up. You clicked the end button before returning your phone back to your pocket.

               He was standing there, tapping his foot impatiently. He had a little bit of stubble, and the dark circles under his eyes. He was wearing his pajamas along with slippers. You took a deep breath before walking up to him, keeping an arm’s distance away. “If you want to come back, you should get a little closer than that,” he said in a husky voice.

              You took another step forward and he sighed before grabbing your arm and pulling you into a hug. “I’ll get you wet,” you protested, pushing on his chest. His arms were like steel bars around your waist, keeping you close.

                “I don’t care. I just want you back.”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “Shut up. There’s nothing to apologize for; you got here in the time limit.”

                “I’m s-” he cut you off with a kiss. His lips were warm and soft on your frozen ones. You sighed into the kiss and finally leaned against him. “Let’s go inside. We can pretend the last three weeks didn’t happen,” he murmured as he nuzzled into your neck, your scarf preventing him to get access to your skin. He smiled before letting go and pulling you inside.

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sorry this was kinda cruddy but 90% of this was written at 2 in the morning ^^;