Jaejoong’s POV

I continued avoiding Yunho. Even more than what I’ve already been doing before. I even go as far as not hanging out with my brother and friends if Yunho’s with them during our breaks. Yunho hasn’t made any more from that day. In fact, he started acting like he never said anything to me, that he loves me. He’s talking, acting just like the way he used to but I can feel him keeping a safe distance from me. I know the others have noticed, that’s for sure but none of them has said anything, not even Junsu who usually is the one who’d start asking question of he noticed something has changed. And I couldn’t take them more for giving that…space.

I fought the urge to stop Yunho from getting up to leave our table. When he showed up, I didn’t have enough time to make another of my never ending excuses so I can make my exit so we ended up one table anyways. I kept my eyes looking sideways, away from Yunho as he left us, only looking back when his was already on us and was sure YooSuMin already have their attention back on their food.

“Yunho-hyung’s been pretty occupied with a lot of things lately huh.” Junsu commented as he shifted on his seat. “Actually, we haven’t been seeing the both of you lately.”

I only shrugged my shoulder in response at the same time I lifted my bad up from beside me. It’s time for me to escape from all their possible questions, just in case. “I…ah, leave you guys now.” Using my thumb towards the opposite direction where Yunho disappeared to, telling them I need to go to the library to do some non-existing research paper.

Hurriedly, I walked away from them. I can still feel their gazes on me, I wonder if there’s a hole in my back.

“Yunho-hyung already used that excuse already. He could have thought of a different one.” Junsu said as he continued with his food. “And the library’s not even that way.”

“Something’s really up with those two.” Changmin thought

******************

Changmin’s POV

Night came and I’m more than happy to have this day, it gives me the chance to corner my brother talk to him. Dinner was prepared, cooked and consumed. Now is the right time for me to talk with Jaejoong-hyung since Yunho-hyung won’t talk. I’ve tried more than once to lure him into talking with me but that guy is a genius he knows what I’m trying to do and would pat me on my hand before he managed his escape. I didn’t want to try my luck and get my hyung angry once when he finally (FINALLY!) answered, telling me nothing’s wrong with the both of them. Just like my brother, Yunho-hyung would rather keep everything to his self with the intention of not worrying us. Little did they know their silence gets us even more worried as time passes.  

I walked out of my room in a pajama intending to slip inside my brother’s rom. The light coming from the living room diverted my attention though and so I tiptoed down the hallway leading to the living room. I don’t want to make my brother to hear or he might just leave…leave even before I can sit down and talk to him.

My browse automatically met up when I peered into the living room and found it empty. Coming out from hiding behind the wall, I early jumped out in surprise when my said brother suddenly spoke.

“Being sneaky Minnie huh?

Aish! Hyung! You enjoy scaring me like that!” I said rubbing at my chest.

“Mianhe.” He said, sounding tired. Hyung passed beside me and I could smell the alcohol. That’s when I noticed his unsteady way of walking.

“Are you drunk? Have you been drinking?” The answer was obvious but I still threw him the first two questions that went to my brain. And besides, it’ll get my brother talking so bravo!

My eyes followed Jaejoong-hyung as he plopped himself down on the soft couch.

“Just had a little…” He even gestured with his hands. “I can’t sleep.”

I was already sitting beside him.

“That’s enough, Hyung” I quickly reached for the bottle of wine from him when he’s about to pour who knows who much of the said liquid into his glass. We always keep some bottles of wine in our house just in case our dad decides to drop by. He likes having a drink or two before he goes to bed.

Leaning against the chair’s back, Hyung spread his arms, placing them on the sofa’s arm rest. I didn’t dare say a word no matter how much I’m itching to do so. I just sat there…beside my brother in silence, ready to listen when he starts to talk if he’s ready to talk.

“I saw…and actually talked with Junki a few weeks ago.”

My head jerked up at the mere mention of that name. I’m surprised my head didn’t detach from my body. If that guy hurt my brother again, he’s dead!

“Do you know how surprised I was when he showed up for that interview Yunho and I had to do for our project?”

How can I not know which project he’s talking about. They’ve aced that project. “Did that handsome said or did something to you?” I’m usually calm but not when my Lee Junki’s in it.

“No. He acted like a jerk at first but all throughout the interview he was…well…well behaved, I guess.” My brother looked up to me with a smile, and he continued with a sigh. “I see him…and I can’t feel but get angry at myself whenever I thought of how I’ve pushed all of you all away once just because of him.”

“Hyung, that’s over.” I whispered in response. It hurts to see my brother, after a long time to still continuously blame himself about what things in the past that’s not entirely his fault. “If anything, I’m thankful that those things happened. It got us all closer. You, me, Yoochun and Junsu…and now, we even have Yunho-hyung.”

Bending his legs up, Jaejoong-hyung rested his chin on his knees. “Do you know what’s funny?” I gave him a “go on and talk” kind of look when he glance at me.” All this while I thought that if I’d see him again I’d still feel the same way I did back then. Imagine how surprise I was when I didn’t feel any of that. I didn’t even realize that those feelings were already long gone.”

“That’s…good…right?” was all I managed to say not really knowing what could be the right words to spill out at the moment. I shifting my seat, I suddenly remember the main reason why I was dying to have a talk with my brother. I’m thinking now if this is the right time to bring this up. My mouth has started talking, fueled by my curious mind even before I can make a final decision.

“Uhhmm… I’ve heard about…what happened… between you and Yunho-hyung…” I paused as I momentarily look at my hyung, trying to read whatever reaction will show on his face. Unfortunately for me, strands of his hair were covering his face preventing me from seeing any emotion that will show.

Hyung hugged his knees tighter against his chest before he spoke. “I’m happy when I’m with him. No matter where we are or what situation, I’m nothing but happy when he’s around…like nothing could ever go wrong. That I’m safe if ever something bad does happen.”

His voice started to crack, trying to hold back his tears.

“He told me…” He cut back on his sob. “He told me he loves me, Changmin-ah. And I got scared so I told him… I told him to stay away. And now I hate myself every time I push him away because I know I’m hurting him…” Jaejoong wave his hands in the air as he spoke.

“You love Yunho-hyung.” I said, more like in a confirming tone than questioning. My brother wasn’t able to hold back his tears anymore as his whole body started shaking from the way he was crying.

I didn’t need to ask or state the obvious fact for the second time. The answer lies on the smiles I saw on my brother’s face every time he’s with Yunho-hyung.

Kneeling down in front of Jaejoong-hyung, I pulled him against me. “Why don’t you tell him then?”

“I don’t want to get hurt again, Changmin-ah. I can feel how much I love him and I don’t think I can bare the pain if in the end I lose him. Call me selfish, a coward but if that happens I don’t think I’ll be able to pull myself back again and…”

“Aren’t you hurting now, Hyung. Aren’t you both suffering now?” I asked and only received a sob for an answer. My shirt was already wet from his tears but that’s the least of my worries now as I hug my hyung tighter, the only comfort I know I can give him at the moment.

“Hyung, you and Junki hyung might not have worked but that doesn’t mean the same thing will happen if ever you accept Yunho-hyung.” I paused, trying to make my brother understand just what he’s doing with the both of them.

“Hyung, remember what you told me when Bomi and I broke up? You told me that I should give my time to cry over the pain, the love I lost but never to stop myself from loving and being loved just because I’m scared. You told me that pain is part of loving.”

I pulled slightly away from him, looking down on his face that he’s hiding from me. “You told me that I shouldn’t be scared to risk my heart if I think that the new love I found is worth all of it.”

I cupped at the tear stained face of my brother. “Now, I’m telling you the same things you told me, Hyung. I want you to be happy, you and Yunho-hyung. And now I think that will only happen if you’re with Yunho-hyung.”

“But…”

“Isn’t Yunho-hyung someone who’s worth going through all that pain?” I asked quickly, stopping the words that would have followed.

Jaejoong-hyung nodded and that’s all I needed for an answer. His eyes show how scared he was but it is now accompanied by a new found courage, strength to face what’s to come. It won’t be easy, not as easy as how I said it, but I know at the end of all of these my brother will be happy.

For the first time since I’ve started my *cough* little speech, Jaejoong-hyung smiled “And you’re telling me you’re not learning anything from me, huh?”

I laughed as I helped my brother dry the remains of his tears on his face. “Well… that… I just said that to make you feel better, Hyung. ”

My grin grew wider. There’s no greater feeling than that when you feel when you have helped someone, especially if it’s your own brother.

I started to get up from the floor and damn my leg hurts.

“Are you okay?” I nodded. I glance up at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s past 12 already?

“Just having leg cramps.” I answered. I stretch my legs, trying to lessen the feeling of a thousand needles poking at it. I suddenly felt sleepy and I’m sure Hyung, too. He wouldn’t have looked like that if he didn’t yawn. Turning the lights off in the living room, we both headed down the hallway, towards our rooms. Just when I the left side and about to turn my door know, I heard my brother call me softly.

“Changmin-ah… Gomapda.”

I smiled, pushing the door slightly open. “Good night, Hyung.”

*******************

Yoochun's POV

“Yeah. I love you, too, Park Junsu.” I laughed when I heard Junsu squeaked from the other side of the lines. Making a kissing sound, as requested by Junsu himself, I finally cut my conversation with my boyfriend. Looking my father’s way, Appa nodded towards Yunho-hyung.

Apparently, my dad has noticed the change in Yunho-hyung, especially during the time he and Jaejoong-hyung weren’t talking. And he said, as a good friend, I should check on him. Actually, everyone at the bar noticed they just weren’t saying anything. I know how Changmin tried to get Yunho-hyung to talk a few times but he failed. Junsu tried to but he wasn’t lucky either. And so I was the last savior. I’m really not good with talking seriously because you do know that I’m the goofy guy here so I really wish that I’ll be able to help my two hyungs by simply lending my ear to Yunho-hyung.

Jogging after Yunho-hyung who’s about to go back to the counter after taking a customer’s orders, I placed an arm over his shoulder.

“Oh… Yoochun, what are you doing here? You’re not here to fill in for Min again, are you? Because I’m sure I saw him coming in today.”

“Nope.” I started to make my voice sounded a bit sadder. “Actually, Hyung… I need to talk to you. You see, Junsu and I had this huge fight just now.” I quickly added to make sure he won’t be able to say no. I’m such a smart guy!

But then… maybe I should have thought of something else to say.

Yunho-hyung stopped on his track, threw me a scary deadly side glance. “What did you do to get Junsu angry now?”

I think my whole body’s wet with sweat by now. Uh-oh!

“Why do you guys always thinks am at fault wherever we fight, Hyung. I faked a hurt expression.

“…Because you’re always at fault.” Hyung retorted.

Yunho-hyung have become like a real big brother to all of us, except Jae-hyung of course, especially Junsu and Changmin. He’s very protective of those two. Those two and not me!!! How mean is that!

Letting my shoulders down, I acted even more as I turned my back on him. I pursed my lips, preventing myself from breaking into a grin when he called my name after I took my few steps away from him. Hah! I knew it! Yunho-hyung loves me, too. Okay, maybe I’m acting crazy now, after all, this is all an act so I can pull him somewhere else and make him talk before he decides to jump off of a cliff.

+++++++++++++++++++++

We ended up in a basketball court at a park nearby, if you consider doing thirty minute of walking near.

Yunho-hyung sat on the cold ground, exhausted after we played basketball.

“I haven’t played this game in a while.” I said, looking at my side where Yunho have his hands leaned back to support him. “You’re not bad yourself, Hyung.”

He took the can of light beer I brought with us as we both drank in silence. I’ll talk about random things every few seconds only to realize that Yunho-hyung was long lost in his own thoughts, startling me when he suddenly spoke again.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I just stared at him blankly. “You knew… I was talking about Jae…”

Oh! That.

I nodded. I didn’t have to act all clueless right now, after all, this is want we wanted, for Yunho-hyung to talk about it. And I couldn’t say “no, I didn’t know” when everyone in school is going crazy over the YunJae kiss as they all call it now.

“You weren’t really good in hiding it. Actually, the both of you weren’t.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He gulped down the remaining liquid in the can in his hand. I didn’t need to get him drink like I first planned after all. “Jaejoong is… he doesn’t like me that way.”

His voiced was filled with extreme sadness, like the world had just crashed down on his. One doesn’t need to see his face to know how he’s feeling right now. His voice alone will tell you.

Looking up at the starless sky, I spoke again, a hint of seriousness in my voice this time, I’m surprised. “Jaejoong-hyung… he likes you. I can see that. He’s just scared. He’s been hurt before. Once. He was willing to give everything up for Junki Hyung but that person only hurt him.”

His head perked up. “Junki? Lee Junki?”

I nodded and then there was silence. Again. Yunho’s face was serious and I left him in his silence as he’s probably thinking, pondering over things.

Over the time, just like how much we’ve become important to Yunho-hyung, we, I have learned to love the slightly older man like my oldest brother and there’s nothing else I would want than to see him happy… just like his old self. Him and Jaejoong-hyung.

“Yunho-hyung…”

“Uhmm?”

“Jae-hyung loves you. Give him a little more time but don’t give up on him. Don’t give on your love.”