"Noona, are you unhappy?" Seungri spoke as we sat on the ground infront of the coffee table, just the two of us. Taeyang and Jiyong were dead tired and headed to bed after dinner. Daesung locked Seungri out of his room so he could study in peace. That left Seungri and I, awake and slightly lonely.

"No, I'm not, Seungri. What makes you think I'm unhappy?"

"I know that look you have on now. It was the same look you had when you first came back."

I looked down at my fingers, feeling sorry for affecting Seungri with my sadness once again.

"Is it because Top hyung isn't back?" he questioned. I looked up in shock.

"No...it's not like that..."

"You've been a lot happier recently, Haerin noona. It's because of Top hyung, isn't it?"

The maknae surprised me with this ambiance he was setting up. It was as if he suddenly grew up, giving me the urge to lean on him.

"When you look at Top hyung, your eyes sparkle. When Top hyung looks at you, his eyes sparkle too. I've never seen hyung's eyes so bright. But every time you lock yourself in your room and cry, Top hyung stands by your door and his eyes look like a zombie's."

My eyes widened, his words catching my attention. Like a fish caught on hook.

"What? Seunghyun stands by my door?" I clarified, in case my ears fooled me. Seungri nodded with a frown, as if feeling sorry for our situation.

"From the second night you came back, hyung stands by your door and listens every night before he goes to bed." he stated.

So from the start, Seunghyun knew how his change hurt me. And despite hiding the pain I felt from the existence of Hwayoung, he knew all along about the tears I've secretly shed. From the very beginning, he's been quietly watching over me.

"Haerin noona... What's your relationship with hyung?" Seungri asked so straightforwardly. I bit my lip, unable to answer his question.

"I don't know, Seungri. I wish I could figure it out too."

"Maybe I can tell you, noona." he said, looking at me in the eyes. All of a sudden, it didn't feel like I was talking to the bubbly maknae that brought life to the house everyday. I felt like I was talking to an adult...someone older than Seunghyun and I, who was about to tell me what was right.

"Your relationship with hyung...is a beautiful mess."

-

"Which hand?" I teased, putting both fists out to Seunghyun. His eyes darted between his two choices, humming as he thought hard.

"This one!" he exclaimed in determination, pointing to my right fist.

"Ddaeng! It's this one!" I opened my left fist, revealing the coin. Seunghyun sighed in exasperation. It was the 20th time he'd guessed and not once did he get it right.

"I GIVE UP." he roared, throwing a tantrum with that frown of his. I just laughed.

"Seunghyun pado, you really are a pabo!!" I laughed, proud to have tricked him. He looked up at me with a confused expression.

"You still don't get it?!" I raved. He shook his head like a lost child. I shook my head in exasperation, opening both palms.

"There were two coins?!" Seunghyun blurted, astonished.

"Think about it, Seunghyun. I've never revealed the fist you chose. I only showed you the one you didn't pick. There was a coin in each hand all along!" I explained, grinning widely.

"AISH!" Seunghyun sighed in annoyance. I just giggled, throwing myself on my bed as Seunghyun continued to analyse the two coins in his hands.

Simple-minded Seunghyun. He'd question every single statement in the world but mine.

-

"Seunghyun is a timid guy. He wasn't always this buff. He was really chubby and was often picked on by his classmates because he never spoke much. But he has dreams of being the knight in shining armour." I laughed, "So let him have his fun once in awhile. Let him try to help you with stuff, protect you..."

Hwayoung smiled widely as she leant her elbows on the table of the cafe, cupping her face. Perhaps it was because she was in love, that she seemed to glow whenever Seunghyun was mentioned. It was like what Seungri said about me...that my eyes sparkled when Seunghyun was around. I wonder what Seunghyun looked like when he was alone with Hwayoung...I bet he'll look ten times more handsome. The things love do to you...

'Rin, why aren't you at home? ): '

I glanced up at Hwayoung, who looked back at me curiously. She had told me earlier that Seunghyun had class till night and couldn't meet her. But judging from the text I just received from him, he must be at home. And it wasn't even 3pm yet.


'You lied.'

I replied.


"Unnie, I just remembered, I have something on. I gotta go." I said with a pout, faking disappointment.

"Jinjja? But we just came out not long ago..." she sighed.

"Mianhae, unnie. I'll make it up to you some other day!" I promised. With that, I left.

I once read a book about two women whose lives intercepted because of an affair. One was being cheated on by her husband, while the other was her husband's other woman. I vividly remember the book mentioning three emotional stages the second woman went through while in that affair.

Stage One: Paranoia + Self resentment
Stage Two: Acceptance + Guilt
And Stage Three: Greed.

In that book, the second woman went through the first two stages with slow, painful, torturous emotional turmoils for months. Then came greed. When you begin to put your morals aside, forgetting the remorse, letting more and more desires cloud your mind. You put yourself in your own competition, fighting to have the man who put you in this sinful plight. And all you know is that you want to win.

I wasn't exactly sure which stage I was at at the moment. I feared being caught, I felt bad, but I've also acknowledged that we both agreed to this affair. But what I didn't realize was that when it came to Seunghyun, I always wanted to win.

The author of that book has probably never cheated, or been cheated on. Lucky her. Because she lied.

I was proceeding straight to stage 3.