As I unlocked my door, I heard mumbled "thank you" I smiled as a I opened the door and welcomed them in.

This is it. Face it like a man!

I glanced back at the guys warily, unsure of how they’ll react to me inviting them in my dorm. We all removed our shoes in silence as I offered them house slippers.

”So…  You guys can sit down on the couch…” I started off awkwardly as I pointed to the lush couch and Lazy-Boys.

I noticed the maknae glancing at his hyungs for “permission” then lunged at the Lazy Boy recliner smiling like a kid.

A small laugh escaped my mouth as I said again, “you guys can sit down, please sit down while I go make you guys some breakfast. Have you eaten?” I asked as I put the bag of scones and walked towards the kitchen.

Nichkhun oppa spoke for the guys and said, “No, we haven’t. Do you know us?”

The question I was waiting for and it kind of took me by surprised actually. My heart was pounding like no other because this was actually my dream job. I’ve always wanted to work for them because they’ve inspired me so much to do better with their triumphs and being able to do this, surreal.

“I do. I’m a fan actually…” I replied in a small voice, scared of their reactions.

A hiss from what sounded like Chansung oppa made me turn quickly to face them.

“Papa J knows about me being a fan, don’t worry, I’m not a sasaeng fan or anything. I just wanted the job for to help you guys out and for the money, you don’t have to like me or anything. You can treat me like dirt, all I want to do is help you all out” I blurted out in fear.

They all stared back at me in shock.

Oh my God… They probably think I’m crazy, a freak. Why am I here again?! Calm down, you. You love the guys, right? Ok then, it doesn’t matter how they treat you. This is your job, you promised Papa J that you’ll do a good job and you’re only going to be for the summer. You’ve got classes to worry about and keep you in line. Just calm down, ok?... I thought not so confidently.

I shut my eyes and breathed in, waiting for the judgment.

“Ok, if Jin-Young hyung knows about you being a fan, it’s ok with us. We trust his judgment” responded Taecyeon cooly.

I breathed out as sigh of relief and smiled at them, only to be stared back at blankly by everyone else except Junho-shi.

He knew about me being a fan all along, at least I have him on my side… I hope…

I turned my back to them and proceeded to make them a typical Korean breakfast: seaweed soup with fish, kimchi and of course rice. After remembering an episode of “Idol Army” where Jay and Wooyoung cooked “Breakfast from Hell” I decided to make a bigger batch of rice and made sure I pressed the cook down for the rice.

“Hmmm…” I said out loud then decided to make kimchi stew instead of the seaweed soup.

Thank God Papa J made me take that Korean cooking class…

While preparing everything, I could feel six pairs of eyes on me the whole time. I glanced over my shoulders and said, “you guys can watch TV you know. Talk, watch TV, and or use the internet, anything. It’s the Smart TV so you can do whatever you guys want. I don’t mind”

They all look flustered but decided to have some fun with my TV and loosened up a bit.

---

“Breakfast is ready~” I yelled as I started bringing the pot of kimchi stew to the small table in the living room where the boys were enticed by my TV and was on Twitter it seemed.

What the heck are they doing? Oh shoot! I forgot to log off of my Twitter!

“You have a twitter? I’m going to follow you!” said Khun all of a sudden.

“Uhh… Ok?” I nervously laughed as I started dishing out the bowls of rice. I made Chansung’s bowl of rice quite large knowing his appetite.

After bringing out the rice, I brought out a pot of ramen and steamed eggs. Chet, this looks like the Breakfast from Hell on Idol Army. This’ll taste a lot better I hope.

“잘 먹겠습니다 (I’ll eat well)” they said respectfully as they dig in.

Seeing that they were eating quite well, I excused myself to the bathroom and took a quick shower but was interrupted by Nichkhun.

"Aren't you going to eat with us?" he asked with big round eyes already making room to sit them. Seeing this, I almost wanted to sit with them but I knew I smelled like the beach and food so I politely declined saying since I spent the night at the beach by myself, I needed a good shower to wake myself up. Taecyeon didn't seem too happy after hearing that I spent the night at the beach by myself...

--- 

“You guys like it?” I asked from my bedroom gathering my clothes

“Yes! It’s really good! Where’d you learn how to cook Korean food? The kimchi stew is excellent by the way” complimented Nichkhun.

“Thank you! Papa J had me take a Korean cooking class from one of his chefs who came from his restaurant in New York. Papa J said that my kimchi stew is the best” I said laughing at Papa J’s compliment.

“It’s so good!” said Junho enthusiastically

I laughed while I ran my hair through the towel to dry it off a bit when an idea came to me.

“Hey, guys! What are you all doing today? Do you have a schedule?” I asked from the bedroom

“No, we don’t. Why do you ask?” said Taecyeon a little wary.

“Well, I was thinking that we could hang out and stuff to get to know each other better and all. We could go to a park or something, have a picnic or go to the amusement park” I said hopeful.

I could hear Taecyeon translate what I said to the guys then Chansung said, “She's weird! Why do we have to go?" I may not be able to understand Korean a whole lot, but I can understand the important things being said to or about me and "she's weird" was one of them. 

A weird feeling came over me, I felt... Betrayed? I felt, embarrassed for even asking. My heart seemed to drop and so did my smile in disappointment. I'm so stupid... Seriously thoughtless. Of course he'd call you crazy because you are! How could you not be considerate of them? Could you NOT see how awkward they were? I was giving myself self-punishment to keep mysef in line.

I could hear the other guys smacking him and heatedly whispering at each other, seemed like they were scolding Chansung.

A call from Chelsie interrupted my eavesdropping.

“Hello?”

“Hey woman! How’s it going?!” said Chelsie in a good mood.

“What up woman?! You’re cleaning the dorm, aren’t you?” I said laughing.

“… You sure are a sidekick! Yes I am cleaning actually! How’d you know?”

“I’m a sidekick, remember? Hahah”

“Bahahah! So have you met the boys yet?”

“Uhh… Yeah I did…” I whispered

"Why are you whispering? You ok? Where are you?" she pestered.

"I'm at my dorm yeah, umm.... well, you see, it's kinda complicated..." I said rushing over to the corner farthest away from the door whispering

".... Oh, OH! They're there aren't they?" she whispered finally realizing the sitauation

“Yup. Oh yeah! I’ve got to do some cleaning too!” I said loud enough for the guys to hear. I could hear them hotly whispering amongst each other but I couldn't make out any words.

“Woman, text me what’s going on ok? I’ll talk to ya later then. FIGHTING!”

“FIGHTING!” I whispered back.

 Yes, I have to clean because I’m their dorm mom. Not some random fan who gets to live next door to them. I have to show them that I’m professional!

“Hey you know what I just remembered?” I said coming out with my towel in hand dressed in sweats and a slightly fitting shirt ready for cleaning.

“What’s that?” asked Junho.

“I have to go clean your dorm today! Now, since you all don’t have a schedule today, why don’t you go out? Go to an amusement park, go to the bathhouse, go out and have fun” I said clearing up their empty plates.

The non-English speakers looked blankly at me while Taec and Khun looked embarrassed and unsure of what to say. The two were scratching the back of their necks blushing, as if they knew I was heard Chansung calling me "weird".

“What are you all waiting for? It’s your day off! Go out and have fun!” I said with a huge smile to cover up my disappointment.

“Oh, do you guys mind putting your laundry out in the living room with a sign of your names on top? I won’t go into your rooms until you want or need me to. Since it’s the first day, I won’t go in your rooms yet” I asked.

“Sure, not a problem. Hey, what’s your name again?” asked Taecyeon giving me a scrunched up funny look.

I forgot to introduce myself! I am seriously losing it!

“Oh yes, I’m so sorry for not introducing myself!” I said flustered. “My name is you. It’s a real pleasure to meet you guys!” I said bowing 90 degrees to them.

They all introduced themselves with huge smiles as if they were on TV then started headed out to their dorm to collect their laundry for me while I started on the dishes.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” eagerly asked Nichkhun oppa. They all insisted on calling them “oppa”

I smiled at him and said, “I’m ok. It’s my job, remember? I’ve got this. Promise me on thing though”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you will act like yourselves around me. I don’t want you to be all nice and careful around me, act like how you usually act around each other. That’s all I ask. And have fun today, ok?” I asked seriously.

He looked taken back by my requested but agreed. He held out his pinky finger to me and said smiling, “yagsog?” after wiping my soapy hand on a kitchen towel, I held my pinky out and sealed the promise with him saying, “then promise me you’ll act like yourself around us too. Don’t hide anything from us. Please.”

“Yagsog” I said looking him in the eyes.

Obviously I'm lying. If I was being true to myself, I would have acted like I did when I first met them last week. But I won't cand I can't. I'm now their 'dorm mom'. I have to be professional and try my best to please them.

He gave me his signature heart wrenching smile which caused an ache at an throat and a stinging to my eyes.

Please stop being nice to me... You're making it harder...Stop pitying me!

As soon as I heard the door shut behind them, I broke down right on the kitchen floor.

Hot tears spilled onto the floor. "I am SO stupid! Why am I so stupid?! Why did I think everything was going to be nice and dandy? Of course they think you're weird, why would anyone want to be a friend with their fan who all of sudden moves next door to them and becomes their dorm mom?!" I kept yelling at myself and hitting the cabinet behind me.

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from crying because I knew they'd come back soon to tell me that the laundry is out and I need to be busy washing dishes. I am so stupid... Why am I even here? What was the thinking? More tears dared to spill but I forced them back with a quick pep-talk.

"Stop crying right now, you. You are much stronger than this. Come on now, stop crying." I quickly doust my face with cold water and blew my nose to make it look like I had a sneezing fit and continued washing dishes while sniffling.

A knock came at the door as I rinsed the bowls under hot water. "It's open!" I yelled. 

Junho-oppa's (yes, even he insisted on calling him "oppa") head peeked out and smiled saying, "we're going now~"

I smiled at him with my heart breaking. "Ok, have fun!~" I said with my voice cracking.

His eyes filled with worry and eyebrows knitted when we heard Junsu oppa yell, "Junho-yah, lets go"

I motioned him to go while having a smile plastered on my face.

The door was shut once again.

I can't do this anymore...