It felt like forever since the last time I woke up by my alarm clock instead of Byunghun exiting the room. I awoke in a startle and slammed my hand to stop the noise and glanced around the room as if a bomb were about to go off and the alarm was the signal to blow us up. After a minute of looking around I realized there was nothing and the sound of Byunghun’s snore signaled to me that he was still asleep in the bed above mine and nothing was wrong in the room. I sighed in relief and got up to get ready before he woke up. It didn’t take long for me to get prepared for school and when I finally was out and dressed Byunghun was standing half asleep next to the bathroom door and waited for me to exit for him to go inside.

I didn’t know if I had the time to read in the diary since usually I was done by the time he awoke or he was out before I even needed to be up. I glanced at the spot where it hid and put up my options wondering if I should or should not grab it but my legs decided for me when I found myself waking towards the book and I knew it was a good time to read it before Byunghun got out. I had a feeling this entry was going to be happy anyways and I didn’t fear the thought of me crying after the entry unlike the first few times of reading.

I placed my hand on the book and thought about when I was going to tell everyone about her or at least mention her existence. Daniel knew I had a girlfriend but nothing else but everyone else didn’t even know that much about me. I knew so much more about them and they trusted me as a friend but yet I just couldn’t bring it up—I didn’t want them to see me crying or see the weakness in my eyes. Soo Young had that effect on me and I couldn’t even care less that she did because she deserved all of my attention no matter what.

Subconsciously I ended up on the eighth page with me already sitting at my desk with the little light above me on so I could read her beautiful handwriting.

Dear Diary,

                It has been one amazing vacation! I told you I’d tell you all about it when I got back and here I am! In the end we ended up going to Busan for vacation since it was cheaper and well affordable to take an extra person. It was amazing! I know how I said I’d be sad since I couldn’t see my crush but Busan really cheered me up and made me forget everything! We went somewhere new every day we were there and had a blast! Song is now officially my best friend and I don’t think I could live without her anymore~ My friends from middle school don’t even talk to me anymore and for once I don’t care because like they always say High School friends are the friends you’re with for life—or was it college? Oh well I like High School better and I’m too young to be thinking about college. Anyways I can list a few things we did while we were there: We went to the Gwangan Bridge, Geumgang Botanical Garden, the Busan tower, we went to a few famous streets like Nampodong, Seomyon and the Gukje Food Street. Also we went to the Busan Metropolitan Art Museum and the Busan Museum of Art as well. We stopped in Amnam Park for a little bit and went to B & C Bakery too! The last thing we did was go to the Paradise Duty-Free Shop and after that we had to leave and come back here but it was so much fun! Now I’ll know for future reference that I did get to go to all those places! I wish I took more pictures but the few I have are going in my little memory box with the rest of my important items, but shh keep that box a secret because I don’t want people sneaking into it. Hehe, talk to you later diary!

---Soo Young

I had absolutely no time to even think about the diary entry I had just read because right after the last sentence the bathroom door opened and I instantly slipped it under one of my books and looked over at Byunghun leaving the bathroom all washed up and ready for class.

“You ready to go?” He asked glancing at me oddly from where he stood. “What’s with the huge smile on your face so early in the morning?”

I subconsciously touched my lips and looked down to where the diary was hidden, “I was just thinking about something that’s all.”

I remember back when each day bled into each other and it was a nonstop rollercoaster in my life of ups and downs of highs and lows and it was only stopped when I finally was with Soo Young. She stopped my life and made me think of each day individually instead of all together. I was anticipating each day instead of week, month or year. She gave me so much to live for and I was so happy to be a part of her life as someone special as well.

“Well we’re going to be late if you continue to think about it.” Byunghun chuckled and walked towards the door and motioned for me to follow him. I pushed the thoughts away and nodded to him with a fake smile on my face to show that I was alright. I grabbed my backpack and followed him down the stairs and out the lobby without a single other thought.

The breakfast table was as loud as always with Changhyun fighting over something with Daniel and Jonghyun while Byunghun munched on his breakfast and Minsoo sighing at the level of immaturity today. I stayed focused on my food until I was done and walked with Byunghun to class before we were too late.

Ji Hoo and Minho greeted us when we sat down and instantly Byunghun started talking to them about anything and everything as if they were all best friends and not barely friends. Something about today just seemed dull and uninteresting as if I was back in that same roller-coaster for a second ride. Without Soo Young I felt myself conforming like I used to but at least this time it was with better friends.

“Chunji!” I snapped out of my thought process and looked at Byunghun waving his arms in front of my face. “You zoned out but class it over if you didn’t catch anything I’ll tell you about it later.” He flashed me a smile and left to go to his next class while I went to mine. I had a feeling today was going to be like this the whole day.

I zoned out in nearly every class making Minsoo, Jonghyun and Changhyun very concerned for my health and asking if I was sleeping alright or if Byunghun was being a bully to me while they weren’t around. I lied through my teeth and said I was perfectly fine and not to worry about me. I showed my eye-catching smile that everyone believed was real and they stopped worrying. When I reached Biology with Daniel I seemed to catch myself zoning out and controlled myself forcing myself to pay attention and take notes for the class.

“Do you want to grab lunch?” Daniel asked after the class was over and I immediately agreed to his offer. Maybe being away from class and a lot of people will be better for me to focus, I only had one more class left I could do it.

“I talked to the other members and they all agreed to going to the karaoke to practice on some vocals for our band, you want to join us?” Daniel asked once we were seated at our table but before we were about to eat.

Even though I was spacing out horribly today and I knew I had a lot to catch up on I felt like I could easily do that tomorrow on the weekend, “Sure, sounds fun; are we all meeting up after classes are over?”

“Yeah, everyone doesn’t have class after four so we’ll be good by then.” Daniel answered then went straight to his neglected food and ended the conversation. I shrugged and started to eat as well hoping that I would stop spacing out for my Short Stories class.

Lunch didn’t last much longer and soon enough I was waving goodbye to Daniel, noticing a pained look in his eyes before he turned around and left. “I wonder why he looked sad when I left.” I muttered to myself and pondered on it while I walked to class. He should be happy that all of his friends want to make a band with him, but there was definitely something on his mind that I had no clue about.

“Hey!” Ji Young brought me out of my thoughts and I turned my attention to her and her smiling face.

“Hey.” I responded with the same smile as hers and walked beside her matching her pace to walk next to.

“I have a few questions to ask you after class if you don’t mind staying with me afterwards.” She cut straight to what she wanted to say and looked completely serious; I vaguely thought it was going to be about my friendship with her and what she thought of me as.

I gulped a bit too loudly, “Sure, I don’t mind.” I answered thinking it was best just to get it over with and not let it drag on.

…And of course I ended up worrying about the whole thing throughout class and I barely could listen to the lecture about creating original ideas from classic ones and making characters that work with the plotline. I caught up to the basics of the lecture but I already knew I had a lot to catch up on in the book during the weekend.

“What do you think?”

I looked around and realized I was out of the classroom and walking with Ji Young towards a random direction in campus that I had no clue where it was. “What?”

“Going somewhere nice and quiet to talk.” She repeated with a sigh and I just nodded afraid of screwing up again.

“Sorry, I’ve been out of it all day.” I mentioned off hand while we walked to her chosen destination in her head and I just followed blindly hoping that things go well today.

Once we found a nice spot to sit down she set her things down and got comfortable in the grass and leaned up against a tree. The whole area was completely empty with just trees and grass everywhere, probably a place where students could sit and relax or play random games in the grass with their friends.

“So, I want to cut to the chase.” She looked at me seriously and I almost started sweating from how nervous I was. I started coming up with stories in my head about my relationship with Soo Young and how I’m completely committed to her and I didn’t want anyone else. “Of your group of friends who do you think you are closest to?”

Wait, what?! “W-Who I’m closest to?” I repeated with a slight stutter unsure of the question and why she asked me. I was completely and utterly confused.

“Yeah, I’m just really curious.” She blushed slightly and messed with her fingers a bit before looking serious again, “So can you tell me?”

“Well I guess I’d have to say Daniel and Byunghun.” I answered truthfully and even smiled knowing that she just wanted to know about my friends and not me.

“Perfect!” She made a victory sign and smiled, “Can you tell me more about them?”

Does she have an interest in Daniel or Byunghun? Maybe she liked Daniel since she remembered him from the bookstore but was too shy to ask about him solely.

“I seem to know more about Byunghun than Daniel since he’s my roommate and all, but I’ll tell you about both of them. I’ve barely known them for a little more than a week so don’t quote me on this.” I started and thought about what I could say about the two starting with Byunghun first, “Byunghun loves to be called L. Joe, it was his nickname back when he lived in America I believe and he has grown very fond of it, he lived in America for only a few years but he didn’t miss too much of anything here when he was gone. He is studying in Language Arts as far as I know and he has a great personality. He is easy to get along with and very easy to talk to. He even smiles while he sleeps.” I explained and continued to talk about the small things I knew about him until I ran out of things to say. She seemed very interested and then I started talking about Daniel as well.

I explained that he was going to try for being a professional singer and he has an amazing voice, he was also good at Biology and also has a very fun-loving personality. Soo Young listened to every word I said and it almost seemed like she was taking notes in her head about it. When I was done she thanked me tons and told me that she’d talk to me later and up and left. I shrugged and left to go find the others thinking it was about time for everyone to meet up.

The meet-up place was the normal table that has been officially claimed as Teen Top’s table in the cafeteria—like seriously Minsoo talked to the people who worked there and arranged for only us to be sitting there. It felt kind of nice to know we actually owned a table—more or less.

“Okay so now that we’re here we need to discuss a few things before being serious about this.” Daniel started and everyone turned their attention to him including myself. “First we need a leader.”

“I vote the oldest in the group because of more experience.” Byunghun jumped in quickly raising his hand and pointing to Minsoo. Everyone seemed to agree with the notion including Daniel which surprised me. One would think he would be jealous or mad that he thought of the idea but couldn’t be the leader to it.

“Yay I have to be the responsible one.” Minsoo sighed, okay so the reason why Daniel was okay with it was because he didn’t want to take responsibility over the entire band; smart thinking.

“We already have our positions planned out.” Daniel continued naming off everyone’s strong point before continuing, “We should give ourselves titles.”

“I want to be known as Lovely Ricky!” Changhyun came into the conversation with a huge smile and the cutest aegyo he could come up with—which gave him a reason as to why he wanted to name himself that.

“Dance boy Changjo!” Jonghyun jumped in as well and everyone agreed to his name since he was pretty much the best dancer out of all of us.

“Charismatic Rapper C.A.P.” Minsoo smiled and once again everyone agreed; these boys must have really gotten to know each other to be so accepting to everything the other says.

“I…” Byunghun muttered trailing off and looking down at the ground with an unsure expression on his face, “I don’t know what to be called.”

“How about Mischievous rapper?” I asked thinking of the first thing to come to mind, he was like that so I thought the title really fit.

“I love it!” Byunghun smiled and put his arm around me, “See this guy is amazing.” Everyone laughed and agreed which just caused me to feel embarrassed for having the spotlight on me. “I think he should be the Power voice of the group, so that should be his title.”

Power voice? Do they like my voice that much to think of it as the power behind the band? I was too busy thinking about the compliment to hear everyone agreeing with the name and continuing on with Daniel’s name which was decided as the Emotional voice of the band.

After everything was set up with the group everyone decided they would go to the karaoke bar to have some fun and sing a little for practice. At first I was a little shy in showing my voice but by the end of the evening I was  passionately singing into the microphone so much that everyone stopped what they were saying or doing just to listen to me sing which just made me over confident and sing even better.

“Whoa how did we score such a great guy on our first year of college?” Changhyun bragged and put an arm around my shoulder and leaned into me with a huge smile on his face.

“Because I was lucky enough to get an awesome roommate.” Byunghun interjected and took me away from Changhyun and casted his arm around my shoulder instead. It felt great to be loved by my friends so early on in our friendship, it felt like there was nothing wrong with any of their friendships and nothing was going to pull us apart.

Teen Top was going to become a great Korean pop band and once Soo Young comes back from the hospital I can’t wait to wow her with our skills and singing abilities. I could already see her being my number one fan and going to all of our concerts. Maybe college wasn’t for me, maybe my life dream just became a Korean pop star instead of just studying language like I am—maybe I’m finally starting to discover my true self.