I can sense the excitement coming out of my dream-self's mind when I walked into that same math classroom and see him. The seasons seemed to have changed slightly since the last dream and my dream self seemed a lot happier for some reason. Maybe the reason was that same blurry boy smiling and walking my way. I listened to muted conversations for too long and I could feel myself sigh at how much I wanted to know what they were talking about. I wanted to know who this person was and why was he so important to my dreams? They talked for what seemed like hours even after school and agreed on something at the end. I could tell I was happy about whatever happened but I'll never really know what was said and what was done.

This dream felt shorter than the usual ones and I awoke with a start. Every single time I have a dream about my 'past' I always feel like it gets more blurry as it goes on. I wanted to know what was going on but I knew no one will tell me. I know there is something wrong with my memory and I know that was the reason why I was not allowed to be released from the hospital. Maybe I need to start lying and saying I know everything and I have no problems.

I just need to find a way out of here.

"Is there anything you need, miss?" A nurse asked me from behind and I shook my head.

"How many tests do I have today?" I asked in barely in a whisper. I felt like my energy was draining every day I was here and all I wanted was to be in my own bed and back to where my memories are.

I don't want to be somewhere completely different. I don't want to be away from everything remember, and maybe if I go back there could be a chance of me remembering all of these 'unforgettable' memories.

"You have only two today and the first one starts in an hour. Don't worry they won't be long and your parents are behind you every step of the way." She smiled and walked away from the room leaving me alone once more. I know it has been hard on my parents being here for so long away from our house as well and I know they've been taking small jobs to help pay for the expenses as well as a place to stay away from the hospital. I'll make sure to get a job the second I get back so that I can help them out as well.

Nothing woke me up this morning and I ended up sleeping in until almost noon. Byunghun was already awake and doing something at his desk. I looked around the room in an almost daze and just placed my head back on my pillow with a silent sigh. I talked to Jonghyun a little last night before heading back to my own dorm with Byunghun and we decided to start work on Monday so that we can have a nice day of relaxing and dance practice before getting into the whole working business.

"You finally awake? I think you left your phone on silent last night because I got like three texts from Niel asking me if you were okay. When I asked him if I could help him with anything he just simply stopped texting me." Byunghun didn't turn around at his desk and yet he knew I was awake just from the small noises I had made when I first woke up. He laughed a little at Daniel's texts and when right back to what he was working on.

I glanced at my phone after that and noticed three unread texts from Daniel all asking me if I was free today and that he wanted to talk to me before we went to the dance studio. I sent a quick response saying I'll be there in twenty minutes and headed for the shower to get freshened up. After getting clean I put on some clothes and walked right out of the room not even thinking that I was forgetting something.

I walked all of the way to Daniel's and Minsoo's shared room and knocked on the door lightly so that I wouldn't disturb Minsoo any if he was busy or asleep.

Daniel quickly opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. He looked slightly stressed out and I had no clue why, it must be the reason why he was so avid about getting ahold of me. "Shhh!" He brought a finger up to his big lips. He glanced at his door once as if Minsoo was going to randomly pop out and then sighed out in relief. "He was really busy so I didn't want to disrupt him. Let's go somewhere else." He smiled shyly at me and walked ahead leading the way.

We ended up at the cafeteria and got some food while sitting at our usual table that only had us today. Not too many people stayed for the weekends so the cafeteria was almost completely empty and served really good food for that same reason.

"So why did you want to talk to me?" I asked after taking a bite of the food I had gotten and waited for him to do the same.

"I saw something this morning, it wasn't a lot but I saw it when I was walking around." He looked like he wanted to whisper but he had to speak a bit louder for me to hear him over the noises of the room. He looked completely stressed out and almost near tears at this point.

Did he happen to see something he wasn't supposed to see?

"What happened?" I asked instead making sure I was completely clueless. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say next.

"I saw Ji Young KISSING L. Joe!" He shouted a bit too loudly and raised both of his arms in response as well to show how serious the matter was. I knew this was bound to happen but I really did hope for it to last a bit longer. I could see why he texted Byunghun but didn't want to say anything about why he needed to see me.

I didn't know if I should fake surprise or not so I decided to play the honest guy for once, "Yeah, uh, well they started dating not that long ago." I didn't know how else to put it besides the blunt truth but seeing Daniel's face fall into a deep frown was not something I wanted to see on a Sunday afternoon.

"Oh." He deflated and sighed. "I see." His whole demeanor seemed to be saddened as he just decided to eat his food instead of talking. I took another bite of my food as well and remained silent as well. I knew this was going to hurt him, but I also knew keeping it a secret would only make it worse.

"I'm sorry." I whispered finally after finishing my food. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how." I didn't want to look him directly in the eyes, I didn't even want to see his face at this moment. I could hear sniffles coming from his direction and I knew he was crying.

This was his first crush and Byunghun took her away from him, but there was no one to blame. Ji Young liked Byunghun, and Byunghun liked Ji Young. There was no changing that so Daniel had to face the truth eventually.

"I'm just going to go sleep some more, I'm sorry if I don't make it to practice today." He stood up and left without another word. I sighed and stood up as well leaving the cafeteria and heading back to my room.

Byunghun was still at his desk doing whatever he was doing on his laptop and only looked up to greet me and went right back to his work. I sat down at my desk as well and just stared at the empty wall in front of me. I felt drained and it wasn't even that far into the day. I decided to not think about it anymore and went to work on my homework. I needed something to get my mind off of this subject and doing work was definitely a good solution.

A few hours passed with Byunghun and I not talking until finally Byunghun stopped what he was doing and turned to me. "He found out, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

He sighed. "I knew that was him but I wanted to believe it wasn't, it was too late at that point." He closed his laptop and stood up. "I really hope this doesn't ruin our friendship. I want to be friends with him and stay with Ji Young, I know that's asking for a lot but I really want this Chanhee."

I nodded once more, "Yeah I know."

It was going to be hard on Daniel that was for sure, but I knew me being mad at anyone was going to solve nothing. Byunghun just sighed once more and turned to his work again. We were silent for another half hour until it was time to head to dance practice. It was starting to become a routine for us now and after this week we were only to report to dance practice every other day on the days we didn't have school. On the days we did have school were going to be the days where I work at the small ramen shop with Jonghyun. It was all going to work out in the end.

I hope.

"Where's Niel?" Changhyun asked the second the whole group was together—for the exception of Daniel.

"He said he wasn't feeling well today." Minsoo stated looking at me as if asking for more information on the subject. I just shrugged and stood back. I really didn't want to be involved at this point, not when they've known each other for much longer than I've known them.

"Well I guess we'll just have to go without him." Jonghyun shrugged and stood beside me. He nudged me slightly as if asking if I knew anything as well but I just kept silent and looked away from everyone. If Daniel wanted them to know he would have told them. For now I'm just keeping it a secret—even if Byunghun already knows.

"Yeah, we'll be fine for today." Minsoo concluded and led us towards the dance studio where we once again broke off into our groups and left. I was all by myself to Hyeon today which was a good and bad thing at the same time. I felt like being by myself meant that she would spend more time on the things only I needed work on, which we did for half of the time but then we stopped and she said it was time to take a break.

She came back with two water bottles and gave one to me. "So where is Daniel at?" She looked around the room to add more emphasis on her question.

"He was sick today." I lied and looked down at the ground. I knew Hyeon at some sort of crush on Daniel and from the looks of her she really didn't look that much older than us, hell she even looked like she could be younger than me.

"Oh." She sighed and messed with her fingers for a little bit. "It feels lonely without him around bringing in that usual smile of his. I love his determination when it comes to singing and dancing, I really want to see him become a star." She had a look of admiration on her face and sounded like she was truly proud of him. Now if only he liked her back then we wouldn't be in this situation.

I really didn’t know what to say in this situation. I didn’t want to tell her that he only didn’t show up because the girl he liked was dating one of his best friends. I couldn’t tell her that at this moment he held no interest in her whatsoever.

I just couldn’t.

Our break soon ended and we went right back to dancing with her working on all of the things I found were the hardest when dancing. I was starting to feel better about my dancing skills but I already knew Jonghyun and Changhyun were always going to be better than me at dancing. I believed my skills were in my singing abilities.

It was around seven in the afternoon when we finished dancing and I was allowed to leave. I didn’t know if I was early or late so I waited outside of the dance studio for about an hour until finally Byunghun and Minsoo left the building and noticed me waiting all alone.

“Jonghyun and Changhyun take forever in there so we might as well leave now and have them go back on their own.” Minsoo pointed towards the building and shrugged. I had a feeling those two would be the last ones out just because of their passion for dance—or at least Jonghyun’s passion for dance and Changhyun’s ability at staying by Jonghyun’s side.

“Okay.” I nodded and walked with them back to the campus and ended up back in my dorm at about eight at night. Minsoo left to go talk to Daniel and see if he was feeling better—I already knew he was not going to be much better but I still wished Minsoo luck and told him goodnight.

Byunghun and I walked back to our dorm after that and immediately went back to what we were doing before we left. Byunghun was back on his laptop and I was back at my desk just staring at the empty wall in front of me. I was starting to not like college all that much and really didn’t feel like sleeping or even the thought of going to class tomorrow.

Maybe it was the thought of being an idol making me not want to go to class and instead spend all of my time working towards this goal. Ever since we started this whole project I’ve been really rethinking my college career and wondering if it was even worth it to go when I could go be a singer and not have to deal with work or school.

But at this point I knew it was best just to continue working the way I am so that no matter what I’ll have an option like a degree and a job. What if I’m really not that good at singing and they were just saying I was because I was a friend? What if I attempt to get into the idol business and I just couldn’t handle all of the stress that it came with.

“What are you thinking about?” Byunghun broke my thought process and made me blink and turn to him. His laptop was completely put away and he was only looking at me.

“The future.” I sighed out deciding to just tell him the truth.

“That’s a pretty deep thought to be thinking about this early on in college.” It looked like he wanted to laugh or even just chuckle at the thought, but he knew the future was coming up fast and we were both not ready for it.

“It’s never too early to really consider the future.” I smiled to myself at the thought of being with the girl of my dreams once more when the future finally becomes the present. I knew she was going to be fine and I knew I was going to see her again. I just had to wait it out until she appears in my life once more.

“I guess that’s true.” He smiled as well most likely thinking of his future with the girl of his dreams. I really loved seeing his and Ji Young’s relationship blossom like it has just because it reminds me of my own when I first started liking Soo Young. I knew it was bad for me to only wish happiness on Byunghun and not even thinking of Daniel’s feelings, but I knew Daniel had someone else waiting for him. Everyone has one girl or one boy they really should be with and Daniel just didn’t belong with Ji Young, that’s all.

“Oh!” Speaking of Soo Young I haven’t even read that journal entry today. I feel like slowly every day I really don’t need to read it because I know she’ll be fine. I know that her feelings have always been true and she loved me just as much as I loved her. As long as I knew that I knew our relationship was going to be fine in the end, no matter what.

I stood up and walked over to my bed, Byunghun didn’t even question my actions because even he knew what I was about to do. “If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’m right here.” Was all he said as I reached under my pillow and pulled out all of the feelings of the best girl in the world.

I didn’t think twice to flip to the seventeenth page and start reading her beautiful handwriting.

Dear Diary,

                Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it to write in this anymore, but then I remember that I can always look back on this in the future and remember all of the amazing events that has occurred in my life starting from my high school years. I always feel like all I ever do is talk about Chanhee and how amazing he is to me and how I feel like at this point I can’t live without him. I’m nearing the end of my high school years now and I’m sure at the end of high school I’m going to stop writing in this completely. I have a life I need to live now with Chanhee and once we’re in college everything is just going to work out. Nothing is going to tear us apart, not even this horrible feeling I keep having in my head. I know I get a headache almost every single day that only worsens each time but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m sure everything will be perfect. So my diary entries are limited now because it won’t be long until I graduate I’m sure and I’m already working on my applications for college. Wish me luck, okay?

--Lee Soo Young

I didn’t know if that entry ended on a good note or a bad one knowing that Soo Young was in the hospital for the thing she thought was going to be fine. But I knew she was going to return to my arms once she was better and I had hope that she was going to be just fine. I didn’t cry this time but just reading that entry made me tired and I knew it was time for me to get some well-deserved rest for the times to come in the near future. I was ready to face anything at this point to be with the only person I’ll ever love. I was willing to do anything for Soo Young.

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OMG MISS RIGHT AND I WANNA LOVE ARE LIKE THE BEST EVER!! Seriously though I updated on this day as fast as I could just because its TEEN TOP'S COMEBACK!! I even ordered the limited version of No.1 Like that is how much I am excited for this album! Who else got the album? Or at least listened to the songs already because they are amazing! Also! Hope you enjoyed the update =D!