I took a seat on the extremely comfortable couch in the living room of JYJ’s apartment. Yes, you heard right, I am in JYJ’s apartment. You might be wondering why – well I am none other than JYJ’s Jaejoong’s girlfriend. You might be wondering how I’m still alive – well I don’t know either. When the two of us decided to go public I said goodbye to the sun and everything that came with it. Surprisingly the fan girls took it pretty well. Of course I have my own anti-club, but it doesn’t bother me much. It sometimes feels like I went back to high school even though I finished it last year. You know the scenario – everybody hates the popular girl because she is the head cheerleader and is dating the captain of the football team. Well in my case I am the head cheerleader, Jaejoong is the captain of the football team, and everybody is JYJ’s crazed fangirls.

To be honest paparazzi are worse than the fan girls themselves. They have been trying to get an interview with me since we went public. Too bad Jaejoong doesn’t even let me out of the apartment. Yep, you have heard right again – I am not even allowed out of the apartment. NEVER! Only to our balcony, but it isn’t much.

I ask Jaejoong to let me out a lot, but he just tells me that it’s for my own safety. The problem is that we have a little language barrier. I am not Korean, honestly – I am American. I studied Korean in school as a subject and visited Korean every summer. My Korean is pretty good, but sometimes I have problems speaking, but Jaejoong also studied English in order to promote the JYJ album, so he speaks to me in English sometimes.

The phone next to me started ringing, and I picked it up right away. I’ve been alone for a week and was thirsty for somebody to talk to.

“Karen, we are coming home tomorrow,” Micky’s voice rang though the phone.

“Finally, I have no idea what to do home,” I said, sighing in relief.

“Jaejoong is really missing you,” Micky said before saying goodbye and hanging up.

I miss him too, I said to myself.

I got up and headed toward the balcony to get some fresh air. I looked down at the busy street in front of me. Cars passing by, couples walking hand in hand, and young girls walking their dogs. I wish I could do that, too bad I’m stuck in this stupid apartment with nothing to do then surf the net.

The Next Day

I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. Grabbing the phone without lifting my head, I answered with my morning grumpy voice.

“Yobeo! Can you open the door for us? Xiah forgot to take keys with him,” Jaejoong’s voice sweet talked to me.

“Ugh, I’ll be there, in a second,” I grumbled into the phone. I got up, wiping my eyes, and went to the front door. When I opened the door I was greeted by a smiling face of Xiah.

“Woah, you have hair!” Micky joked as soon as they walked in, “is there something that Jaejoong should know?”

“It’s called morning hair,” I said, still not fully awake.

“Looks like you didn’t miss us,” Xiah joked taking off his shoes.

“Well you did wake me up at…” I looked at the clock on the wall, “4 o’clock in the morning?”

“Sorry about that,” Xiah laughed awkwardly.

“I don’t about you guys, but I’m going back to sleep,” I waved them off and headed to mine and Jaejoong’s bedroom.

As soon as I reached our huge bed I collapsed on top of it, snuggling with my pillow. Before I could fall asleep the door opened and quiet footsteps walked toward the closet. After a minute of clothes being changed Jaejoong laid next to me on the bed.

“How was your tour?” I asked, not feelings sleepy anymore.

“It was great,” he muttered before wrapping his hands around my waist.

“So I was thinking, can we go to the park today?” I asked turning myself around to face him.

“You know how I feel about that, it’s better for you to stay inside,” he said, eyes closed.

“But, I’m tired of sitting in this place! If I knew that I wouldn’t be allowed outside, I would’ve just stayed in US,” I got up.

“Don’t be like that, you know I am doing this to protect you,” he said, still not opening his eyes.

How ignorant? We were talking about my freedom here and he wasn’t even opening his eyes. Mad, I got up grabbing my pillow from under his head.

“Where are you going, yobeo?” he asked finally awake.

“Living room,” I said angrily before shutting the door behind me.

Sitting down on the couch I the TV, hugging my pillow. I needed my mom with me right now, I needed her to tell me what I should do. I grabbed my cell phone off a coffee table and dialed my mom’s number. I didn’t care that it would cost a lot, I needed her right now.

“Karen, sweetie is it you?” my mom’s voice spoke through the phone.

“Mom, I need your advice more than ever,” I said quietly not to wake the boys up.

“What happened?”

I explained my situation, almost tearing up.

“Do you want to come home for some time?” she asked after listening to me.

“I don’t know. I love him, but I can’t take it anymore,” I sobbed into the phone.

“How about you come home for a while, if he really does care about you he will stop you and understand how you feel,” she spoke softly into the phone.

“Mom I’ll be home tomorrow,” I said into the phone quietly, before hanging up. I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I slowly fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was already 12 o’clock. There was no sound what so ever, the boys probably left for another schedule. I decided that it was the perfect time to pack my things.

By the time I was done it was already 6PM, I ordered a plane ticket three hours earlier. I looked around to check that nothing was left behind.

“Goodbye Jaejoong,” I whispered quietly, “I might come back.”

Not sure of my last words I locked the front door, leaving my keys under the mat. I went straight for the elevator dragging my suitcase behind me. When I made it to the first floor I got out of the building saying one last goodbye. On the street I stopped a Taxi, and the man got out to help me with my suitcase.

“Karen!” I heard a yell. I turned around to see Jaejoong, Xiah, and Micky running toward me, “What are you doing?”

“I can’t take it anymore! I am tired of sitting in that apartment. I’m going back home,” I explained as the driver shut the trunk.

“But this is your home, with me,” Jaejoong grabbed my hand pulling me close.

“I didn’t call it a home for the whole year, I called it a prison,” I said, looking Jaejoong straight into the eyes.

“I’m sorry but I was only thinking of your safety.”

“Well you didn’t think of the way I feel, you never noticed how miserable I was always stuck in there, while you guys were outside in the fresh air.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in English, “I never noticed how much I hurt you, but please don’t leave me. I love you.”

With that he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a breath taking kiss.