I'm going to be doing something a little different in this chapter. I will be writing from Sungmin's point of view (POV). Just to warn you, I'm not used to writing in point of view version but I will try my best! XOXOXO

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Sungmin's POV

It had been a few days since the announcment of Henry's death and I was still really upset. I felt heartbroken without Henry. I loved him like a brother. He and I had bonded when we escaped from our base to rescue SS4, Kyuhyun and of course, Heechul, and he gets killed. It's my fault. Heechul and many others have told me that it isn't my fault but I know it is. If I hadn't brought Henry along he would still be alive, and I wouldn't be feeling all this guilt and grief. My heart felt heavy, full of burden and pain. Kyuhyun had been trying to comfort me and at some point he tried to get me to have with him again but I didn't feel it. I wasn't in the mood and I felt like my world was dead and cold. The depression I feel is horrible and I can't take it.

A whimper escaped my lips as I passed a blade across the pale skin of my inner thigh. It hurts but the pain soothes me. I have been in such guilt and depression that I've set my treatment methods to self harming. I would never slash my wrists, knowing everyone would see, so I've been cutting my thighs. Right now I was alone in the bathroom, knife in my hand with my pants and boxers pulled down to my ankles. A drop of blood streams down my leg but I wipe it off with a piece of toilet paper. I whimper again, in pain. This wasn't the best options of treatment but I didn't know what else to do. I move the knife back down to my thigh, making a new cut. Without warning, I suddenly cry out in pain, this being too much for me to handle. I bite my lip hard, afraid that someone heard. When I didn't hear anything, I lean down to cut again until I hear what sounded like someone hurrying to my room to check on me. I had a bathroom connected to my room. I heard pounding on the door and then Kyuhyun's scared voice. 

"Sungmin!? Are you okay?" I heard Kyuhyun ask, trying to turn the door knob. I stay silent, not being able to keep the whimpers contained so they slip out as well. "Bunny Sungminnie.. Open the door!" Kyuhyun used my nickname which I always gave in to, this time being the only exception where I don't. "Go away!" I sob out, tears streaming down my cheeks. I hear Kyuhyun make a noise of fear before running from my room. A few moments pass before the door knob is being worked on frantically.

"Sungmin!" Kyuhyun unlocked the door and it swung open. I watched the younger rush in and nearly faint from what he saw; his lover standing, leaning aganist the counter, pants and boxers down with cut up thighs and a knife at hand. I can only imagine what was going through Kyuhyun's mind as he stared. When he finally came back to reality, a noise which sounded like a pained and sad cry escaped his throat as he ran over to me. He slapped the knife out of my hand, in the process cutting his palm. He didn't seem to care as he kneeled down, looking at my thighs.

It was somewhat awkward, considering that my 'valuables' were right where he was looking, but he was just examining my cuts. I know the situation was horrible and it would be inappropriate to blush but I did when he reached his hand up, moving my junk out of the way gently to see my cuts better. My face becomes a steamy red as he stares at my bloodied thighs. "Don't just stare at me! Say something!" I suddenly cry out, without thinking I smack Kyuhyun on the head. 

I watched as Kyuhyun quickly stood up, hand gripping my bare waist tightly before pressing up against my half body, crushing his lips onto mine. Without thinking, I kiss back, feeling all the love and passion that Kyuhyun was putting forth into the kiss. It was astonishing to me how much love I felt in the kiss. I didn't know Kyuhyun could just put it all out there like what he was doing now but it was amazing. My red and puffy eyes slowly drift closed as I basically melt into Kyuhyun's kiss and touch, a small moan escaping my throat. This was getting too hot for me, I couldn't stand it but then again I loved where this was going. I deepened the kiss with tongue, Kyuhyun giving me full access to his mouth as I attacked his tongue with my own.

I was becoming very despite my recent agony and Kyuhyun was turning me into a just from kissing me so lovingly and passionately. My hand grips his waist as well, pulling him closer against me. I can't help it. As we continue to make out, my hand begins to slid down. I hear a throaty moan escape Kyuhyun as I press my hand firmly in his crotch, rubbing. I wanted Kyuhyun and I was hoping he wanted me now too. I was starting to feel a hard bulge forming in Kyuhyun's tightening jeans as I rubbed firmly, hearing another moan escape my younger lover's voice.

I was starting to Kyuhyun's pants when he suddenly stopped kissing me, quickly moving away to catch his breath. His breathing was rough and shaky and his excitement was obvious with the big bulge in his jeans. "What's wrong? Why'd you stop?" I was so extremely right now and my voice was husky with lust. I move closer, trying to force my lips onto Kyuhyun's again but I'm blocked and lightly shoved away. I stare at Kyuhyun with surprise and confusion. "Don't you want me?" my lust was slowly fading. "Yes, but now isn't a good time for you Sungminnie.." Kyuhyun sounded out of breath and excited. "Why?" I completely forgot that Kyuhyun just witnessed me hurting myself. "I don't want to have with you just because you feel horrible, guilty and confused!" Kyuhyun looked back down to my bloody thighs.

"That needs to heal and you need to stop! I love you, Sungmin, I really do. It breaks my heart to see you cutting your beautiful legs up!" I could see tears forming in Kyuhyun's eyes and they also were forming in mine as well. I stayed silent, my mood completely gone now and replaced with sadness instead. "Sungmin-ah, please, let me help you.." Kyuhyun moved closer again, grabbing on to my shoulders as he stared into my eyes. When he looked in my eyes it felt like he was reading my soul. His gaze was powerful. "O-okay.." I feel a tear run down my cheek but a small smile plays my lips when Kyuhyun sweetly wipes it off. "I love you so so much.." Kyuhyun kissed my forehead lightly.

"Can we have now?" I meekly ask. I feel defeated when Kyuhyun shakes his head but I know he had a good reason to. "I'll take care of it later." he moved down and grabbed some toilet paper, beginning to go to work with cleaning my bloody thighs. It hurt alot but the only good thing was after Kyuhyun was done and my thighs were all bandaged up, he gave me an incredible and amazing , which was very great.