Chapter 18
Can you protect Everyone?
Jessica POV
I woke up and found myself curled up in Jonghyun’s arm. He was already sound asleep. I carefully removed myself from his arms and went over to the closet. I found my white hanbok that I had worn a few years ago to my grandmother’s funeral. I wanted to tell Jonghyun last night, but I just couldn’t bring myself to form the words.
My father, Jung Ji ho, is…gone. I took the hanbok and went into the bathroom to wash up, get changed and ready for the funeral. When I came out, Jonghyun was already awake and flipping through my IPod. His face changed from one of happiness to concern when he saw what I was wearing.
“Sooyeon,” he began to say before I rushed into his arms. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and cried. The tears I held back last night flowed from my eyes. Jonghyun was startled, but wrapped his arms around me and my hair, trying to calm me down.
“What happened? Hm?” he whispered gently in my ear. I tried to form words, but I couldn’t stop my tears. When I finally managed to stop my tears, I finally was able to tell Jonghyun what happened.
“My dad *sniff* car crash *sob*,” I barely managed to say those four words, but somehow Jonghyun managed to understand me.
“Hey, I’m sorry baby. It’ll be okay. It’ll be just fine,” he comforted. I shook my head. He led me over to the bed, wrapping me in his arms, and laid down together. Jonghyun my hair and murmured over and over again that it’ll be okay, until I finally managed to calm myself down.
“Jonghyun-ah,” I began to say with a teary voice. He looked at me and wiped the remaining tears away with his thumb.
“Yea? Are you okay now?” he asked concerned.
“Uh-huh. Sorry for bothering you,” I said softly, slightly embarrassed. I had never cried in front of anyone, not even my own mother, and I’ve never cried like that before. He kissed my forehead.
“Don’t say sorry. Sooyeon-ah, when’s the funeral?” I looked at the clock. 7:22 a.m. I immediately jumped out of the bed and wiped my tears as quickly as possible. The funeral starts at 7:30 and I had to be there earlier. I sat in front of my dressing table and began to apply my makeup, trying to cover my swollen eyes and dark circles. I didn’t realize my hands were shaking until Jonghyun grabbed my hands and held it tightly.
“Sooyeon, calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick. Take your time,” he said softly. I took a shaky breath took calm myself, but it did me no good. I just needed to get this over with as soon as possible. I put my hair into a neat bun and finally stood up. Before I left, Jonghyun gave me a back hug.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” He kissed me on the check before I left. I walked out of the hospital with people staring at me with pity, until I got into the car that was waiting for me at the entrance of the hospital. My mother’s face was tired and worn out, but she still had the energy to scold me.
“You’re late Jessica.” I closed my eyes.
“Please mom, just once, just please leave me alone.” And for the first time, she didn’t refuse. We made our way over to the funeral place. I saw many of my father’s business partners and his old friends. I saw the girls who went to school with me looking at me with pity and for the first time, they had a look of superiority in their eyes, as if I wasn’t good enough, or rather rich enough anymore.
I walked over to the portrait of my father, knelt down, and bowed deeply. I felt tears pricking my eyes again. I hastily wiped them away, but they wouldn’t stop flowing. The only memory I had of my dad that reminded me of a family was when we went to the amusement park to celebrate my father being successful in his business.
Flashback – 11 years ago
“Appa, I want to ride that roller coaster. Please? Pretty please?” I begged. Appa laughed at me and picked me up into his arms.
“Aigoo, my daughter! You’re too small right now. When you become ten years old, appa promises that he will take you to ride that roller coaster,” Appa said while giving me a kiss.
“Yeobo! You know she’s afraid of heights. She may say that she wants to ride it now, but you know she’ll have a heart attack,” my mom scolded appa while taking me into her arms.
“You know mommy loves you right?” I nodded my head. She kissed me on the cheek.
“That’s why I’ll never let you ride the roller coaster,” she said with a smile. I looked at her surprised. I thought she would give in, but I guess not.
“But Omma,” I whined. Suddenly Appa grabbed us into a big bear hug.
“Aigoo, my family! I love you!” he yelled out loud. Omma’s face turned pink.
“Yeobo! Don’t be so embarrassing!” she said, but I could tell that she was happy. I hugged my parents backed and we felt like a family.
End of Flashback
I stood up from my bow and stood to the side letting other people bow and show respect. People said things like, “I’m sorry for your loss,” “You must be devastated,” “It was a tragic accident.” What people don’t realize is that those words don’t help; it only makes you more angry and heartbroken. But still, I said thank you and went about what I had to do. While walking around and bowing to other people telling them thank you for coming, I couldn’t stop the other memories of me and my father.
Flashback – 7 years ago
“Ahjusshi, where is Omma and Appa?” I asked him. He knelt down in front of me and gave me a card.
“Your Omma and Appa had to go to a conference. They are very sorry that they had to leave, but they left you this card.” I felt my bottom lip quiver. Ever since Appa had become more and more successful in his business, he and Omma were gone more and more often. Every birthday since that day, they always left me with a card. But I never complained because it was his job.
But I never thought he would forget the promise that he made me. I believed that he would keep the promise that he made. Still, I opened the card, hoping for some message. The first birthday I spent alone, Omma and Appa wrote me so much that they had to buy two cards to fit their message. But as the years went by, the messages became shorter and shorter. Last year all they wrote was happy birthday, I love you. Now the card was only signed by their names. Suddenly, Ahjusshi gave me another card.
“This is written by Ahjusshi and Ahjumma,” he said with a smile. Ahjusshi and Ahjumma have always taken care of me ever since I was little. The card was filled to the brim with their messages. I gave Ahjusshi a tight hug. It didn’t make sense to me that people who weren’t even part of my family took care of me better than my own parents, but nonetheless, I was grateful to them. From that day on, I requested not to celebrate my birthday.
End of Flashback
I remember fighting with my father over the littlest things. At that moment, it meant the world to me whether I got what I wanted. But now that I look back, I wish I didn’t fight with him. My childhood reverie was suddenly interrupted by my mother.
“What do you think you are doing here?” she yelled in a furious voice. I turned around to see who she was referring to. There in the doorway, were two burly men, all dressed in black, as if it was something out of a movie.
“I apologize for bothering the funeral,” he began in a sarcastic voice.
“But, this boy here is in a little need of your help,” he said with a sneer and brought a bloody, beat up, Jonghyun and pushed him to his knees in front of us. He looked at me with eyes full of sorrow and regret. My mom shot me a glare. My life is over.
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