It had been a long night of being depressed and dreaming of Yunho. Now she sat in the cafeteria,yawning and looking like  a plant kept in the dark. She rubbed her eyes and took a swig from her pepsi. I really should cut down on the pepsi,she thought as she studied the ingredients. She bit her lip as events from the previous night hurtled into her frontal lobe. She squeezed her eyes shut tight before opening them wide. Damn,she needed to sleep.

“Well you look like a ray of sunshine..”A husky voice breathed into her ear as an angel slipped into the seat infront of her.

“Jaejoong-ssi…”Jieun was too tired to feel weird about the extra attention from the people around them. The rest of her sentence was lost in a yawn.

“Cute..”Jaejoong grinned toothily. “You didn’t reply to my text last night…”The pouty lips became poutier. Dark orbs pinned to hers.

“That was you?” Jieun stared at him.

“Yea…I pulled a favour…for a little makeout session,the lady at the records room was willing to give me her soul if I asked for it.” Jaejoong laughed.

“But…you..said..you were..”Jieun looked down at her plate. No…it was probably a joke..he wasn’t actually her secret admirer.

“Your secret admirer?” Jaejoong teased. “Well..I do admire you for your courage…or maybe youre just obstinate.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…”Jaejoong flipped his barbie doll blonde hair out of his eyes and let his pink tongue swipe over his lips. “You havent died even though I just blatantly tried to seduce you…that takes real courage..”

Jiuen giggled. “Youre so narcissistic.”

“Nu uh! Mama didn’ raise no fool!” Jaejoong flicked his finger from side to side. “If I gots it…I gots it.”

“Preparing for your US comeback?” Jieun narrowed her  eyes at him playfully.

“….Is it that obvious?” Jaejoong grinned sheepishly.

“I love your English…its adorable.” Jieun blushed slightly at what she just said.” I mean…as in…like Asian guys do sound cute when they try to speak in English…and…”

“Can you speak English?” Jaejoong looked at her,eyes hopeful.

“Yes..Im fluent. I went to International School.” Jieun stated in English.

“..So cool!” Jaejoong swooned. “I like it when girls speak in different languages…makes them so exotic.”

“English is an international language Jaejoong-ssi…I’d hardly call it exotic.” Jieun smiled.

“When I use words like “Starr-did”…English is exotic to me.”

Jieun shook her head as she grinned. “Youre…different Jaejoong-ssi.”

“Agh..please no ‘ssi’s. Oppa is good,so is JJ and there’s always God..”

“Jaejoongie-oppa?” Jiuen asked.

“Hmmm…no one’s called me Jaejoongie in a while..”Jaejoong smiled softly. “Yunho used to call me that…now I’d be lucky if I even got to see him.”

“…Im sorry…I didn’t mean to-“

“No no…its okay. Im a grown man…I can take it. Its been three years now…with each passing day..I feel us grow further apart..its like we’re at opposite ends of the world and soon…I think they’ll just vanish over the horizon..”Jaejoong rubbed the can of coke in his hand. “Do you know what its like Jieun…to just..have this emptiness inside you..the one you cant fill. And…and it begins to eat you up and you know its wrong to ponder over it..but its like..Im sorry..Im rambling..”Jaejoong chuckled uncomrfortably.

“No..its okay…”Jieun smiled and reached out to gently place her hand on his. “If you..want to talk Jaejoong oppa…Im here for you..”

“Jaejoongie oppa.” He corrected her with a smile.

*

Jieun was looking for a top at a Next store. Jaejoong had asked her to dinner at his place because going out meant incurring the wrath of the saesaengs. She hardly had time for herself. Normally she’d always have Naomi fussing around,telling her what to wear and how to wear it. It wasn’t like she was 3 or anything,contrary to what her friend might think.

She picked a pink top.

“We don’t have it in your size.” The assistant gave her a condescending smile.

“Oh..umm..okay…what do you have in my size?” Jieun asked.

“Right this way…”The haughty woman in her tight clothes led her to the back of the store where a bunch of extremely baggy tops were hanging. They werent even in any good colors. But Jieun admitted sadly that they were perhaps the only things in her size. This was clearly the stock they were trying to get rid off. As she touched the hem of one brown shirt,she looked over at the beautiful girl picking out the pink top. She had a nice figure and the top fit her like a glove. The assistant gushed over how good she looked and how it was the perfect size.

With a deep sigh,Jieun disappeared into the changing room to try a sickly pastel colored shirt. She stepped out to scrutinize her reflection in the full length mirror. Her heart sank as she met almond eyes through the reflection.

“Jieun-ssi…funny running into you here.” Yunho walked over to her,smile in place.

“Yunho-ssi…”Jieun bowed. Great,he just had to come over when she was looking so hideous. Her makeup had long faded and her hair was slightly messy;adding to the disaster that was her attire. She was wearing glasses and to be honest,even she wouldn’t date herself.

“Are you..here to shop for something?” Yunho asked.

“Umm..yes but I didn’t find what I liked.”

“Oh…so could you…maybe help me pick something out for someone? Im not very good with presents.”

Help you pick something out for someone else? Someone skinny,someone beautiful. Yeah sure..wait,let me just check my heart..yeah..its still in pieces so maybe not today. “Ofcourse why not.”

“Ah..thank you..its a really big help!”

They went from one shop to another but Yunho didn’t find anything he wanted to get. “This is useless..I don’t know what to get.”

“Umm..maybe if you could tell me who youre shopping for..I could actually be of some assistance?” Jieun sighed as she took a sip from her upsize juice. It was hot and she was already tired and this aimless wandering wasn’t helping.

“..Its for a girl.”

“Narrows it down.” Jieun rolled her eyes.

“Huh?”

“Not all girls are the same Yunho-ssi.” Jieun looked up at him as they entered a perfume store. “Some girls like their boyfriends spending on them, some just care about the thought behind the present and some don’t expect anything atall as long as they know he loves them.”

“..So…Naomi would be?”Yunho asked,shy.

Naomi would be a selfish who only thinks about herself and doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. If youre into her,which you obviously are, youre in for the hurt of your life because lover boy..she will use you,gang you dry and leave your limp and then find another guy and repeat the routine. “For her,it’s the thought that counts.” And yes…I’ll still lie to you because even if I tell you the truth,guys are stupid. They want to be used and treated like …they don’t care of someone loves them..they just want to get ed.

“Ah! That’s nice…and you?”

Why do you give a crap? Oh yeah…courtesy. Being the ever-charming leader-ssi. “I don’t know…Ive never had anyone who’d spend on me. Get her a perfume,Nina Ricci or something from Prada. And..excuse my asking but shouldn’t Changmin….”

“Changmin’s not that into her. So I presumed she’d need a shoulder to cry on when he’s done.” Yunho shrugged.

..Classy. “Umm…well..I don’t need to say anything more. I have to get going now. It was..nice.” Jieun waved and practically ran out the store. She wasn’t going to warn Naomi, there was no  point in doing that. If Changmin was using Naomi…she was just as likely to be using him. But still,the fact that Yunho was going to be getting her an expensive perfume and be her shoulder to cry on made Jieun sick with envy. She really liked him…she wished she could stop.Knowing he would never love her back but maybe it was like Jaejoong had said…sometimes you like the pain.

Half an hour later,Jaejoong opened the door to his apartment. He stared at her for a few seconds before sighing and letting her in. He handed her a handkerchief.

“Whats this for?” Jieun asked,slipping out of her shoes.

“You look like someone who just had their heart-broken. In this house,with me,you can cry as loud as you like..and for as long as you like. Because its okay to cry Jieun…it isnt a ritual that needs to be performed alone. Its as easy,as important and as normal as breathing. Feelings are nothing to be ashamed of.” Jaejoong tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,smiling gently.

Next thing Jieun knew,she was bawling her eyes out into Jaejoong’s white tanktop.

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Sorry if this chapter is emotionless ^^. Im sleep-deprived and freaking out over exams. Sad part is..Im the only one freaking out...most people dont even care x.x. 'Its just school exams' they say...oh how I envy them >.>! Why did I end up being such a perfectionist and teacher-pleaser!

Oh now with tomorrow's update I will attach a link to a blog. Its basically going to be an AASDB5K: All About Shana_DB5K [fail..I know]. Its just I dont want to be some random person writing stories..I want everyone to know who I am ^^. A face and personality to the name Shana_DB5K.

Maybe I'll reveal my real name...fufufufu :p Read it if you like ^^

Oh and yes Jaejoong is studying. Even in real life. He's studying in Kyung Hee Cyber Univerisity,majoring in communications. This was last year..I think he still is studying. Atleast he isnt a drop out anymore and actually doing something solid and not majoring in stupid things like Music or Arts. no offence to anyone.Im talking about celebs..I just think if youre a singer already...you should major in something different from your field just to gain experience. I wonder what Yunho and Junsu's major was since they attended the same university o.0