Foolish Heart

Diary (Collection Of One-Shot Fics)

Before I write my intended Minami Shineyo fic, let me just write the MS fic I wrote in the other site. I will just copy it here in case you had not read it.

Mi Nyu and Shin Woo pairing

****

A date by phone. That was what Shin Woo and Mi Nam where doing while Mi Nam was roaming around Seoul and waiting for Tae Kyung to come and get her. Shin Woo had eaten kalguksoo with her, given her ice cream treat, and paid the rest of the amount for the clothes that she had bought, and she never knew he was doing those for and with her. He pretended that he was with her too so that Mi Nam will not know that he was simply walking and following behind her. And finally, Shin Woo told her to turn back and walk so that she can see his surprise. He was hopeful that Mi Nam would see him, but to his dismay, Mi Nam received a call from her Hyung-nim, thus she went on her way again.

"You were so close," Shin Woo said, "If you'd taken just one more step..."

 

Go Mi Nam's POV

Mother Superior, when you get hit by electricity, does it hurt this much?

I see Hyung-nim and He Yi kissing by the stairway, and there were reporters downstairs. I am up here where I can see them, but I don't like what I see. I don't know what this is, and why it hurts so much. I don't want to see this. I have to turn away. But my body won't listen to me. What do I do?

Someone pats my shoulder. Shin Woo hyung, I say to him. Shin Woo hyung looks at me then at Hyung-nim and He Yi downstairs. Then he looks back at me again. He looks pensive.

Let's go, he said to me. He grabs me by my wrist and he leads me away. Shin Woo hyung is really an angel. He comes at a moment when I feel I am lost. He is always there for me. He always comforts me when I am sad.

He hands me a bottle of water and points out that I was surprised. Shin Woo hyung really sees right through me. He also confesses he was quite surprised of what had happened. And he points out that the fans downstairs are crying. I see them crying. They are crying for Hyung-nim, and I hear them congratulating Hyung-nim for his love. He shares that many love and respect Hyung-nim because he is a star and that liking someone is not necessarily bad or special.

Since I am one of Hyung-nim's many fans, I am not special. I feel so worthless. I will also congratulate Hyung-nim like his fans did, I tell Shin Woo hyung. But this strange feeling hurts, and with this feeling in my chest, can I congratulate Hyung-nim?

 

Shin Woo's POV

Go Mi Nam didn't see me when she turned around because Tae Kyung called. All she sees is Tae Kyung. And she still continues to see him even if she was on the verge of tears, watching Tae Kyung kissing with the national fairy, Yoo He Yi.

I know she needs comforting, and the person who can give her that is me. But being a hyung is the only thing I know that she needs. She never sees the intention beyond my actions. If only I can hug her.

I guess I can't. There are reporters downstairs, and if they see the two people kissing, some of those with quick senses might even see me hugging Go Mi Nam, and I don't want to add to her troubles.

I lead her to the balcony where I point out how surprised she was. Even I was surprised that Tae Kyung acted the way he did, because as far as I know, Tae Kyung is not an impulsive person, nor is he dumb. He always acted with reason, and even acted steps ahead. He was the type to always have a plan in his head.

The fans downstairs are crying over Tae Kyung, and I point to Mi Nam why the fans acted the way they did. Loving and respecting celebrities are reasons why they are called fans to begin with.

It hurts to see Mi Nam in that situation where she has to give up her feelings and congratulate Tae Kyung for his love life. What she is feeling might, more or less, be the same as mine.

 

****

 

Jeremy threw a congratulatory party for Tae Kyung, but the latter was more upset than happy. He thinks having a party for his fake love life is not worth celebrating, and he was even more upset when he saw Go Mi Nam congratulating him along with the rest of the group. As he left, Jeremy felt his effort was useless since the main celebrant walked out. Auntie refuted his statement, claiming that this party should also be a welcoming party for her too, since she cooked the food.

 

Shin Woo's POV

I saw in Tae Kyung's eyes that he wasn't thrilled at the party that Jeremy and Auntie prepared for him. But I can also see through Mi Nam's actions that she was simply putting up an act so as not to expose her heart.

Here I am in the veranda, under the night sky, hoping that the cool wind would comfort me the way I comfort Mi Nam. In front of me is the pair of green shoes that I bought for my Cinderella. I was supposed to give this to her a few days ago, but she stood me up on our "date" to be with Tae Kyung. When can she feel my feelings for her?

Inside the dorm, I can hear Tae Kyung playing on the piano. Without Words. That was the title of the song he had composed. Go Mi Nam was supposed to sing it before the release of our sixth album. I think I should be the one singing it, and I want to sing it to Mi Nam. When she cries her heart out, I was always there for her. Without a word, she made me feel love. And when she is okay and Tae Kyung calls, she runs without even looking back at me. Without a word, she leaves me. She never knows how hard, sad, and painful it is to be there for her and look after her when she needs me, and yet she leaves me when she is okay.

I had shared my secrets with her, and even expected that she will consult me first on any subject matter since we are "close," but it seems that she always ask Tae Kyung for any opinion. Do I matter to her?

 

****

 

Shin Woo's POV

Go Mi Nam and Tae Kyung went to her hometown to visit her father's grave, but Tae Kyung came home ahead of her. We were wondering why she would suddenly leave us drifting without any explanations, and so I decided to go and fetch her.

When she saw me this morning, she was upset. She was expecting Tae Kyung to come and take her away. She was expecting him, not me. I could see that she had a smile, but it dissolved quickly when she saw me. Even so, she shared to me that she was having a hard time, but I don't know why. She was all apologies for acting spoiled.

What can I do for you, I asked her. She requested that I would just be a good hyung to her. It consoled me, yet it broke my heart as well. Even if she didn't expect me, even if sometimes I want to yell at her or get mad at her, her tears killed me—I always soften at the sight of her sad face and the tears flowing down her eyes. Why does it hurt this way? Until when can I be a good hyung? Will I never hear her call me "Shin Woo oppa"?

I want to hug her so much. If only I can wrap my arms around her and comfort her everytime she cries. If only I can be her only reason for living. If only I could be her inspiration. If only my hand can grab the pain from her heart and throw it away, then I would. If only I could be her everything, then I would. Her tears make me feel like I'm dying.

Here we are inside my car, and we are on our way back home. She is to continue with the recording of the song that Tae Kyung wrote, and we cannot afford to be late. The director and the writers didn't show this car scene because of reasons only they know.

Mi Nam is silent. Maybe she has a lot of things in mind. But with all those thoughts, there will never be a thought for me...I just hope that Go Mi Nam will not notice me wiping the tear off my eyes...

 

Go Mi Nam's POV

Mother Superior, I still don't know why I am feeling this way. Can you please enlighten me? The feelings inside me are welling up, and I don't know until when I can hold on longer. The star that I was looking at is back home, but my eyes and my heart hurts everytime I see him...but I really want to see him. I don't get that feeling when I am staring at the stars at night, and only my eyes hurt when I stare at the sun. Is this feeling the feeling which Manager Ma told me to experience in order to sing Hyung-nim's song?

We are going back to the recording studio so I can continue singing. I was hoping that Hyung-nim would come and get me. I was a bit disappointed because I didn't expect Shin Woo hyung to come and get me. Even if I was disappointed, I was still relieved. Shin Woo hyung is so kind and gentle. He is really an angel. I feel grateful that I have a good hyung like him. He even told me to relax when I am with him. I guess I have to, even if I could not. Yet, he gives me the encouragement and the strength to go on being Go Mi Nam. He is that supportive. Mother Superior, please include Shin Woo hyung's happiness in your prayers. Of course, I want Shin Woo hyung to be happy because he deserves it...

But it seems that Shin Woo hyung is not happy. He seems to be rubbing his nose. Maybe he has allergies. My hometown has fresh air and many beautiful plants, but maybe Shin Woo hyung is not accustomed to those plants. Maybe he does have any allergies just like Hyung-nim.

Shin Woo wiped the tears off his eyes discreetly so that Mi Nam will not suspect anything. He was mistaken, for Mi Nam saw him rubbing his nose.

"Shin Woo hyung, you have allergies too?" Go Mi Nam asked.

Shin Woo shook his head with a smile. But Mi Nam noticed that his smile tended to be sad.

"Are you all right, Shin Woo hyung?"

Of course, Mi Nam never knew that Shin Woo was hurting because of his love for her.

"Ye," Shin Woo said to her with assurance. "I am fine. I will be fine."

Mi Nam smiled a bit as she looked at Shin Woo. "Please be fine, Shin Woo hyung. I don't want you to be sad."

Shin Woo smiled a bit, trying his best to control his feelings as well.

 

Shin Woo's POV

Go Mi Nam didn't carry the song that well when she started, but her emotions went loose when Tae Kyung entered the recording studio. I can sense it; she was singing that song for him. It makes me sad because I know she will never dedicate that song to me. She began to sing in pain, and ran outside after the chorus. I had to run after her to comfort her.

In the veranda, she requested me not to look at her because she felt that she will be found out. And here I go again, acting like a fool. I knew Tae Kyung came in and saw us, but I grab her by her shoulders and hugged her, saying that I will shield her so no one will see. If there is an actual war right now, I will always act as her shield, her knight in shining armour. I want her to realize that I will always be her shoulder to cry on, that I will always be there for her, whatever her emotions would be. Yet, when she saw Tae Kyung, she ran away again. I told Tae Kyung to let her be and leave her alone. If space is what Mi Nam wants, then I will give it to her.

 

*****

 

Go Mi Nam's POV

Hyung-nim demanded that I have to confess to Shin Woo hyung that I am a girl and that I have feelings for him. But why Shin Woo hyung all of a sudden? While I was pondering over this, Shin Woo hyung came to spend some time with me and to teach me how to make an airplane out of paper. He also told me of that story about the clueless girl. Shin Woo hyung is so cool. He helped me make my autograph, he made tea for me, he taught me how to make paper airplanes, and he told me some kind of bedtime stories. Mother Superior used to tell me stories when I was a little girl. And now, it is Shin Woo hyung who cares for me like a real hyung. He is a good person, and because of that, I really cannot tell him I am a girl. I cannot follow Hyung-nim's orders. I don't want to hurt Shin Woo hyung's feelings. I don't want to make him disappointed.

 

Shin Woo's POV

I guess I cannot consider it my secret. I have told Go Mi Nam of the story of the clueless girl. Of course, I don't want to tell her that it is a story about her, and that the person who knew her secret is me. I think I will continue doing things like this, liking Mi Nam and helping her in silence.

 

Shin Woo's POV

She stood up on me on our date again. She was supposed to meet me in this fancy restaurant, and I was supposed to give her the flowers and the pair of shoes, and to sing to her to profess my love for her. But it seems that she is stuck with Tae Kyung again. Just when I have the chance, Tae Kyung always interferes.

I came running to the recording studio to look for her, and I found her in the dancing hall. She crouched on the floor inside the dark room, and by the sound of her crying, I can imagine how she must have felt that time. But I yelled at her for breaking her promise. I was so sick and tired of being just the second choice. I am sick and tired of being a scapegoat. Why does it have to be this way? I couldn't help it. I yelled at her and asked her if she would still think of coming back to me after she will be done crying. I told her that she had totally forgotten about me, but that I was the total fool for still coming and running to her aid despite what had happened. I want her to see me so she will have a clue to my feelings.

Yet, when I the lights, I saw her face. She was crying her heart out again, asking for my forgiveness for the many promises that she had broken. As the tears streamed down her face, I mellowed up again. I guess you can call me a fool for totally forgetting my angry emotions the moment I see her tears. I guess you have the right to call it a foolish love. I patted her on her shoulders, but then again, how I wish I can hug her.

I told her that I need to practice a song, and that I wanted her to listen. I wanted to tell her that the song is actually meant for her. If she weren't so dense, she would know that all the things I did for her was because I love her that much.

As I sang, the lyrics were so true. I wanted to be good to her all the time, and that act is enough to make me happy. If she smiles at me even once, it makes me happy; I would definitely cherish that smile. If ever she'll be waiting for her love, I will go running when she calls out to me, hold her hand when she reaches out for a hand to hold, and stay be her side. Even if this love is unrequited, I will still be happy for her, and I won't ask for anything more. I will not change because I love her.

That's what being a fool is all about.

Go Mi Nam told me that she admires me because I am not afraid or sorry for my feelings, while she wonders if a person like her who is nothing can also be as admirable as me. I told Go Mi Nam that there is no such thing as a love that is nothing.

As I stood up, I kept thinking about what she had said. Yes, I am not afraid or sorry for my feelings. But it is just sad that she never know that my feelings are for her. I hope, one day, she will feel how much I love her. I hope she will return my feelings. But, if ever she will still set her eyes in Tae Kyung, if ever she will never love me, I will continue to love my foolish love for her.

 

~~~~END~~~~

(up next, another Minami Shineyo fic from the other site)

 

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miss-hitomi
After Sakura07 is fic by pheihyun. By the way, I will temporarily close asking for requests. pheihyun-ssi will be last... Please wait for updates.

Comments

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Wendy-1977 #1
Chapter 1: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/162097/1'>Hammock</a></span>
So sweet yongshin😍
Thank you for making yonshin story😍
Spread yongshin love forever🤗
Starligthangelcnblue #2
Chapter 2: I love this one from all its just so sweet and cute,the way she stopped flirting with other guys to be his ideal woman its just perfect i wish this was like a complete story of alot of chapters jajaj i guess its just me who thinks like this!
sarahsusanti #3
Chapter 12: Thank you for the sweet one....^_^
sarahsusanti #4
Chapter 8: Sweet yongshin
sarahsusanti #5
Chapter 2: Good story author...^_^
sarahsusanti #6
Chapter 1: In love with this story...soo good
sarahsusanti #7
Chapter 54: I love your story...its so sweet and nice....
Thank you
keina1 #8
Chapter 28: i love this DIARY so much... the stories are so great!!! ^_^ Thank you...
phoebemikai #9
Chapter 30: ohhh.. I was suprised seeing my nick here.. hehehehe... short but nice..
Louricks #10
Chapter 9: Guys how can I have friends here!! I don't know how to add friends?.
can I be your friends here bec. I don' t have any friends
But I want good and kind hehehe.....