Jiyong's POV

I woke up from a loud screaming only to realize that it was me. I got up from my bed and found out that my shirt is soaked with sweat. I felt a small bead of sweat falling down my forehead and wiped it off. Is it really this hot? I'm sweating like crazy. Was that a nightmare? 

I immediately stood up and headed to shower. Hopefully, this will help me refresh myself and clear things off my mind. After I took a shower, I saw that there were 5 unread messages in my inbox. Two from hyung, and one from each of the guys.

Tabi: hey! how're you bro?

Dae: Don't starve yourself, okay?

Bae: Show yourself soon, man. Take Care!!

Panda: Hyung!! How are you? :o The guys miss you ^^

Tabi: Just get out once in a while and stop making us worry. OUT. NOW.

I find myself smiling as I read their messages. But at the same time, a pang of guilt hit me too. I'm making the guys worry so much though I was not the one who was badly injured. I really want to go out, I admit. But I'm afraid that I might not yet be ready to see the world outside. I know a different pang guilt will hit me as soon as I step my feet outside my door, welcomed by the thought of Dara's current situation. Am I ready to face her? Will I be able to withstand seeing how she looks in that hospital gown, bandages and tubes connected to her? Just imagining it right now makes me unable to breathe.

RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!!

"Yeobeoseyo? Yo, man!!! I'll drag you out of your house if you don't come out right now!" said a deep voice.

I said nothing.

"I know you want to go out but you're afraid to see her, right? Am I right? I know, I'm right!" he laughed at himself.

Damn, you know me so well.

"Coming" was all I managed to say and he hung up.

I quickly changed into a white v-neck shirt and comfortable jeans. Grabbed a beanie and shades to hide how much of a mess I've turned into.

Here goes nothing. I said to myself as I turn the knob on my front door.

-----

"FINALLY!!! I thought you're never going out of that little cage of yours!" TOP said while giving me a pat in the back.

"OH MY GOSH HYUNG!!! You got thinner!!!!" Seungri exclaimed while looking at him from head to toe.

"I told you to not starve yourself!! That's unhealthy, let's eat!! My treat!" Dae announced, and Seungri cheered at the thought.

"Welcome back," Bae said and we bumped fist.

"Thanks, guys," I said looking down. I knew a person like me shouldn't be this weak. I look so fragile right now. I just hope the company won't look down on me because of this. The guys have done so much to me all this time. We're not really used to dramas, we hate it. We're suppose to be kicking people's asses right now, but look at me. I'm grateful they didn't leave me for being such a drama--king this whole damn time.

"Naaaah, don't thank us. It's nothing big, we're brothers. So stop that before you start crying your again," TOP teased.

"Let's go!" Dae beamed.

"Where are we going again?" I forgot, or I wasn't listening...

"We'll eat lots and lots of food!" Seungri exclaimed.

"Then off to the hospital" Taeyang said.

Way to go, Bae. That's actually the last thing I want to do right now. I guess it'll be the second thing I'll be doing after I eat with the guys. I thought we're just going to refresh ourselves and forget about the incident for a while. Just for a while. But it seems like that's not going to happen. Am I really ready to face you Dara? Or will my guilt eat me up again?

"Hey, man," Bae woked me up from my reverie, while snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"If you'll go dramatic again, I'll slice you in two. Okay?" TOP said.

"He's kidding, don't worry we won't think of you as gay. We won't leave you," Dae chuckled and patted my back.

-----

As soon as we finished our meal, we headed straight to where Dara is. I can feel my heart beating faster than the speed of the car we're riding in. We're getting closer. And I'm starting to sweat like mad.

If not now, when? I repeated this mantra over and over to calm myself down.

Men from our team are outside, guarding Dara's room. The moment they saw me they bowed and one of them approached me.

"Sir, we found this along with Dara's belongings," he said and handed me a small notebook.

I looked at the cover and it says, "Real dreams"

That's when I remember that I wasn't just having a nightmare last night. I remember everything that happened on that incident. It was real. And it happened. All this time, my mind was clouded with guilt.

"Hyung, I think I remember the whole thing," I called out to TOP, while standing in front of Dara's room, holding the door knob.

"Oh yeah? Mind to let us hear your stories first before you know...face her? I mean so we'll understand what happened. SHE can wait I guess," TOP said gesturing towards Dara's room.

"I suggest we talk somewhere private," I said slowly releasing my grip on the knob and walked away.

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oowwwwkaaaaay, something's wrong with the characters but i cannot find it in me to correct it. looool, i am so sorry. hope you guys are patient and nice enough to tolerate this chapter lol thank you! Love you! LOLOLOL~ <3