CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT  

Flames and Unrest 

[ Jimin’s. ] 

“Flowers, again?” 

It’s been a week since I’ve had that meeting with Minjeong, and yet she still hasn’t quit or given up trying to woo me again. Is that even the right word to describe what she’s doing? Di ko alam. 

Despite me trying everything to ward her off and blatantly ignore her advances, she still hasn’t stopped.  

Eight am, breakfast immediately delivered to my office. 

Ten am, a bouquet of flowers with the perfume reminiscent of what she had always used in the past, the one I’ve always liked.  

Twelve noon, lunch that was also delivered right to my office.  

Three pm, coffee and snacks.  

Five pm, another set of flowers. 

Seven pm, dinner delivered to my office pa rin.  

It’s been a week since she started that, and hindi pa rin siya tumitigil. I know well na siya mismo ang nagluluto nun—even if it’s just a short time, I memorized the way she does things and it’s still engraved deep in my mind. How could I erase it, then? Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.  

Especially now that she’s trying to gain her way into my life again.  

How can I forget her?  

Alam ko naman na hinding hindi ko siya makakalimutan. It’s something I can’t bring myself to fully do, and yet I know that if I just have her go back to my life that easily, what would that make of me? Desperate? A red flag’s unchanging flagpole?  

She left. Yun ang lagi kong nireremind sa sarili ko. Yun ang gusto kong ipamukha sa kanya, because at the end of the day, this restraint that I’m putting on myself is also a way for me to protect myself from her. Kasi paano kung umalis siya ulit?  

Even if she’s now the figurehead and leader of such a big company like me, hindi ko maikakaila na magkaiba pa rin kami ng mundo.  

What if the two of us shouldn’t happen, then?  

What if… 

“Throw it away,” I said, pushing the bouquet off my table as Renjun raises his brow at me and what I’ve been doing to Minjeong’s “gifts” all week. “Next time, don’t even let it go inside my office, Huang.” 

“Sayang naman, boss…” 

“I already let you and the team eat the food,” I said, grumbling as he finally took the flowers away. “Don’t make me take away that privilege, too.” 

“…yes, Miss Karina.” 

Renjun disappears back into his table outside my office, and I’m once again left alone with only my own thoughts as my companion. My hands shake as I find the familiar yet poisonous drink that’s usually near my table, but I’ve already had that taken away.  

Should I get drunk? Again?  

Would that even solve something as troubling as this? 

I have dinner with her later. Yun ang tanging natitira sa schedule ko, and I couldn’t really postpone that since technically, Minjeong is a guest of Jang Enterprise. I can’t do anything to publicly humiliate and send away a guest, and all that I can do is ignore her and her gifts. 

I don’t really think getting -faced before such a major meeting is the way to go, but if it came to facing her again, maybe a little booze wouldn’t hurt.  

I have a flask, hidden away in my drawer. I hid it there just in case Ate Joohyun bears down on me, a kind of emergency stock I’ve ensured myself I have at all times.  

Well… This is classified as an emergency, right? 

I uncapped the flask. The smell hits my nose immediately, making me sigh shakily—it’s been a week since I’ve had a proper drink, and this is making me feel oddly excited and scared at the same time.  

I know this is a problem—well, maybe it’s something future me can fix, right? 

I gulped down the first sip, hurriedly. The alcohol burns through my lips, my tongue and my throat, sending incredible heat and warmth in me that I didn’t know I missed. , I need more.  

The first gulp already had me losing control. I emptied the liquid of the flask into my mouth, drowning in the feeling of pure bravery and recklessness as I feel woozy and lightheaded almost immediately.  

The whiskey kicks me in the . I know it so much, the addicting feeling of losing control and losing all the nerves and thoughts I’ve been feeling ever since last week— 

. I feel like I’d spit out anything at this point. There’s no use hiding anything, right? 

“Boss, you have to go to the restaurant na—, are you drunk?!” 

Renjun is doubling in my vision, but I don’t care. I swat his hand away as I fumble the coat I’ve been wearing earlier, but it only makes me feel hotter so I take it off. I open the two buttons of my long sleeved suit, rolling the cuffs up to my sleeve and taking my phone and wallet with me.  

“Boss, I really think you shouldn’t—” 

“What?” I ask, glaring at him. “It’s Minjeong Kim. Minjeong ing Kim, yung babaeng nang-iwan sa akin five years ago. I’m sure she’d understand me showing up drunk in that useless meeting, right?” 

The words leave my mouth before I could stop it. Well, was I even trying to stop it? Ha, di ko alam. Hahahaha. 

Luckily, I could still walk. Renjun had to call a driver for me, and I at least adhered to his warnings of not driving alone since it might be dangerous. It only took a few minutes for the driver to take me to the restaurant, and as usual paglabas ko may mga nagtake na ng picture ko.  

Jang Enterprise CEO seen drunk in public, maybe that’s the headline tomorrow. I don’t really care—as long as I get the strength to get everything over with, I’d worship the bottle again.  

“Do you have a reservation, Miss…” 

“Katarina Yoo,” I said, the girl’s face darkening as she must not have recognized me in this casual getup. “I have a reservation under the name Minjeong Kim?” 

The girl wasted no time guiding me to the private room of what seems to be a Japanese restaurant—wait, this must be it no? The restaurant I took Ate Seulgi back when we first met, before I had the bright idea to temporarily live in San Juan for a couple of months.  

This is the same private room back then. Still the same place where we sat, ang kaibahan lang ay si MINJEONG ang nakaupo sa place ni Ate Seulgi.  

I miss Ate Seulgi, though. Ate Joohyun hasn’t had the time to bring her here in San Lazaro since she’s been busy picking up after what Kihoon Kim had left behind, since I heard na she became the temporary Mayor for five years now—looks like the town didn’t find anyone worthy of replacing her in the meantime.  

“Are you okay?” is the first thing that Minjeong asks me as I sit down right in front of her. “You look a little flushed…” 

“Now is not the time for such pleasantries,” I frown, grabbing the bottle of sake and pouring myself a glass. I downed the drink agad, the burning feeling in my throat making me heave a pleasant sigh in the air. “I’m here to tell you that I’m not going to take your offer.” 

The grin in my lips is almost permanent as I see the nervous look in her face. She takes a shot of the liquor and drinks, the waiter of the restaurant already giving us a set of food to eat while we’re in this place.  

“Karina, you haven’t really thought about it—”  

“Oh, I thought about it,” I said, grabbing the bottle of liquor and pouring myself another glass—gone was the class and restraint, I knew that. I knew I’d let go of it so easily, and she makes it so easy for me to drink all my worries and all of my nerves away. Pure alcohol and anger may be courisng in my veins right now.  

“Sa tingin mo ba, hindi ko pinag-isipan ng matagal itong araw na ‘to? You think I haven’t thought of you returning into my life like this? Disrupting my life like I didn’t spend every waking moment of the five years you were gone, trying to fix everything that you’ve ing wrecked?!”  

“Karina...”  

The way she calls my name somehow calms me down a little, but I know that it wouldn’t be enough. It can’t be enough. I’m already too far gone to be brought back into life, I know that. I know that so well, and yet... 

Why does my tears fall so uncontrollably, then? I promised myself I wouldn’t cry in front of her again, and yet... 

“You say you love me, and yet you run away