31 Feelings that never left

How did you get into my life?
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The flight for China was a few hours delayed because of some weather problems.  But now, finally, he was breathing again the air of his country.

The Beijing Capital Airport waiting area was overcrowded, but even though Xiao Zhan spotted among the vast ocean of strangers, the group that was waiting for him.

He was happy and excited to see familiar faces again after four whole months spent in the States.
Still, his happiness was shadowed at the thought of the missing piece: Muffin.
All the others were there, his mother, ZiZi with her new boyfriend, A-Xian, JiJi, even Wang ZhuoCheng with his husband.

At least he will get some news about his former...flat mate, whom he couldn't pull out from his heart, no matter how hard he had tried.
WuXian and Wang Ji postponed a clear answer every time he asked about Yibo's life, always replying to him that he will find out when he will come back to China. 

He only knew  that the single released by Zhou Xun, the Hong Kong singer, was a huge hit, and the actor from the videoclip had become pretty famous, besides his already famous co-actor, Wang Yiduo.

"You are all invited at my home for a cookie and a coffee.", Mrs. Xiao smiled, happy to see her dear son again, even though she visited him a few times since he moved to his wife's house from America.

"We thank you very much Mrs. Xiao! I bet that everyone would fall in love with your cookies, I know that I am, since the very first moment I've tried them.
But maybe some other time.
I hope you will not mind, but we are all expected in some other place.", WuXian said, wrapping an arm around Mrs. Xiao's shoulder. 

"We are?
Where are we expected?", asked a curious Zhan, but nobody answered him, instead he was just led outside.

"What the...?
A-Xian, did you win the lottery, or what is this?", Xiao Zhan asked again, when a luxurious limousine stopped in front of their group.

"Don't ask so many questions, just get in and you will see!", Yang Zi laughed, pushing him to climb in the car next to the others.

Xiao Zhan felt  a sharp sting in his heart when the limousine got to a stop in front of an imposing building with a big banner shining on top: "B&B>>Beauty and The Beast >> 7☆ Restaurant". A banner in  red with green, his and Muffin's favorite colors, a stupid and annoying coincidence, nothing more!

He recognized instantly the  man coming outside from the building and heading towards their limousine through the many people walking in and out from the restaurant, probably customers.
That man  with a large smile spread onto his face and a big bouquet of flowers, red roses, in his hands was no other than the damn handsome Yiduo, the so-called beast.

The beast's beauty should be somewhere here, too... 



"Why did you bring me here?", Zhan mumbled, while opening the car door and trying to climb down.

But he was pushed back inside by WuXian:
"Not you!
Actually the chauffeur is instructed to bring you somewhere else, only the rest of us are invited here."

"I understand, I can figure out why.", Zhan smiled bitterly.



But the  influencer shocked him when he pushed WuXian aside and pulled Zhan outside the car.
His shock got even bigger when Yiduo handed him the roses, then gave him a tight hug and a loud kiss on his cheek, whispering into his ear:
"I was told that red roses are your favorite.
I'm sorry for what has happened to you, and I am happy to see you healthy and well.
I'm not gonna invite you to join your friends because I know that you are busy right now, but I will prepare a special dinner for tomorrow evening, only for the two of you.
Go, now, I don't want to steal anymore from your precious time."

Wang Yiduo didn't smell like  alcohol when he kissed Xiao Zhan, so why is he talking nonsense,  mused Zhan to himself, understanding nothing from Yiduo's weird words and strange acting.
Anyways, Xiao Zhan thanked him  for the invitation and flowers, and climbed back in the car, after taking goodbye from his friends.

During the ride, he got drowned in thoughts and questions about Yiduo's strange behavior: maybe the man was too happy that Yibo was his lover and obviously his business partner, so he could afford to behave gracefully  with the ex  who was now married and no longer a threat.
He hardly noticed that the limousine arrived at...

He could understand why his friends didn't want him to join them at Yiduo and Yibo's restaurant, but why the heck did they take his mother with them?
Even though he ate plenty on the airplane, he would have liked to eat and talk with somebody, now that he is back after such a long time...

Xiao Zhan was feeling abandoned and lonely...

Well, this is life, it was not his  first time to feel lonely.
He remembers the times before Wang Yibo came into his life.
His life felt empty, the same like now when he will face his empty apartment, he will face all the beautiful memories and sweet traces left behind by his so-missed Muffin..., Zhan sighed, trying to shove the key in the keyhole.


What the...
Zhan felt like having a déjà vue.
The door pushed itself open, the same like when Muffin was kidnapped.
He was so anxious and lost in that painful past that he barged inside, yelling "Muffin! BoBi! Yibo!!", forgetting for a moment that no Yibo could reply to him.

"JiJi Ge, you're late!
The food is already getting cold...
It's rea...lly you?", stuttered the person who Xiao Zhan came face to face with, when barging into the living room.

"Yibo, BoBi, Muffin, is it really you?
You're really here?
Why are you here?", Zhan shouted in shock and confusion, startling the other.



Yibo misunderstood Zhan's reaction, thinking that  he was angry with him, so he started to apologize:
"I am sorry, I understand why  you are upset. Because I am still living in your apartment, but I had no else where to go.
I expect you to tell me that I had four months to look for another place, and you'd be right. I admit that I have always postponed the time to leave this place, a place with so dear memories, and I am sorry for that. 
But I could ask JiJi Ge and WuXian GeGe to lodge me for a few days till I find a place to move in, I will call him right now."

"You didn't change at all, you talk as much as before. 
Who said that I am bothered with you still living here?
Didn't I tell you that what is mine is yours too?
I asked you why you are here, because I thought that you live in your boyfriend’s and business associate's mansion.
Are you two in some kind of a lovers quarrel at this time?

You are still as beautiful as I remember, maybe even more beautiful. 
I hope he makes you happy.", Zhan whispered, not resisting anymore for not running his trembling fingers over Yibo's smooth cheek.



Yibo gasped, pressing his own hand over ZhanBi's fingers and leaning his cheek into the warm contact,  fluttering his eyes closed while speaking:
"I hope the same for you, too.
I hope you have a happy married life with Miss Alicia."

Then he tried to compose himself, removing his hand and looking straight into Zhan's eyes:
"But I don't know what  you are talking about, related to Yiduo Ge.
Yes he is my business associate, actually I am his associate, because the biggest amount of money invested in that restaurant is coming from him.
The money I've earned from the video contract was not enough, so he offered to help me.
Of course I accepted only in exchange for half of the shares.
But being business partners doesn't mean we are love partners, too."

Same like my married life you were talking about.
Shia is a very good girl, but me and her, we are nothing but business partners, not love partners, as you expressed yourself.
I suppose that your brother told you about my deal with her and her family."

"Yes, I know about the deal, but I was sure that you two will end up falling in love with each other for real.
You know, living in the same house, taking care of each other...it has happened before.
Didn't you and I fall in love the same way?", Yibo smiled bitterly.

"No, you're wrong, you and I fell in love even before living together, at least I fell with you from the first time I met you, and actually I still am...in... love with you..."

Xiao Zhan, don't!
It's wrong to say that! You are a married man before the law and before Gods, no matter if you have consumed or not your marriage.
Yet, I understand what you are  saying, because I love you, too, but we need to... for...get...", Yibo mumbled, while trying to refrain himself from responding at Zhan's embrace and at the dozen small kisses showering his face.

Zhan backed his face and looked intensively into the other's eyes, running his thumb over Yibo's humid half parted lips:
"I missed you saying my name. My name sounds different in your mouth.
Your beautiful, sweet mouth.
Oh lord, I missed you so much!
How can you ask me to forget?
I didn't stop thinking of you and missing you, not even a second for  all this time.
We can't pretend and forget!
We can't lie to Gods, they  know the truth, they know to whom I am married to, in my heart.
They know that I love you!
Only you!"

"I missed you so much, I love you, too!
Gods, please, forgive me, but I love you, too!
I am absolutely, definitely, positively, unquestionably, beyond any doubt, unconditionally, in love with you.", Yibo panted out, grabbing Zhan's nape and pushing him down into an unbridled kiss, unleashing the whole longing and grief he felt for all those past months.

Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were sharing a first kiss after spending such a long time apart, a desperate first kiss, a hungry kiss, a kiss both of them dreamed about, so many times.

They cared less about the kissing rules that BoBi  once trained ZhanBi about, they cared less about the saliva streaming down their chins, about the noisy sound of clinking teeth or the almost painfully lips bites.

It felt so good, so overwhelming!

Their arms were clinging at each other's bodies, trying to hold into a solid, stable thing in the dizzy swaying world they were floating in.



The rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth left them limp.

"I need a break, I feel dizzy.", Yibo whispered, taking Zhan's hand and heading to the kitchen.
"Come here, somebody needs to eat that meal JiJi made me to cook.
That sneaky liar!
I suppose that he knew you would come, because he told me he is curious about Xiao Zhan's favorite dishes and he wants to try them."

"All of them are sneaky liars.
They not only knew that  I was coming, but they waited for me at the airport with a limousine, which brought them to the 'Beauty and The Beast' restaurant, where...", and Zhan recounted to Yibo his weird meeting with Yiduo and how puzzled and abandoned he felt.

Xiao Zhan's heart was feeling so warm and cozy, watching Muffin whirling in the kitchen, while taking out from the oven the appetizing fragrant meals and arranging the various dishes on the table.
Dishes that were indeed his favorites.

"I need this into my life, forever.", he whispered in Yibo's neck crook, while back hugging him and marking his neck skin with a red spot.



“I miss touching this mole, oh my god, he, he!”, Yibo giggled, turning around and rubbing a fingertip over ZhanBi’s  under lip beauty mark, before his lower lip.



“And I missed biting this sweet muffin cheek!”, Xiao Zhan giggled too, cupping with his lips as much as he could from the said cheek and leaving a purple hickey behind.




"Go sit, you distract me. 
Eat and tell me everything. 
I need to hear from you everything that happened. And especially  tell me how your injuries are."

“Mmm, it smells so good! I bet that your restaurant is a big success”, Zhan inhaled deeply the aroma coming from the pot after raising the lid.




"Come sit next to me and tell me first about you. My injuries were not too serious to threaten my life, besides I suppose A-Xian told you already what happened.
But nobody wanted to tell me anything about you.
Tell me what those animals did to you, and how Yiduo succeeded to save you, tell me everything."

So, they sat at the kitchen table, eating together like in their old, happy times.




Yibo started to tell him how he was trained and sold after he was kidnapped:
"They changed the color of my hair, I suppose for not being recognizable by the eventual policemen at the airport.
But the most scared I felt when they waxed my private area. I could figure out at that moment what they were up to.
Besides the man who waxed me, and who seemed not the same evil like the other beasts, he told me that I'm going to be sold, but he didn't know to whom."

"Yes, the same man who helped us, I promised him to pay back his cooperation, I need to take care about this, next days.", Zhan said, taking Yibo's hand into his in a comforting squeeze.

"Somehow I was lucky to be sold to an organization who were not providing es, but entertaining waiters for high society parties or business transaction dinners.
There were men but women, too, who were serving those rich people.
With beautiful faces and beautiful bodies, of course.
The two weeks of training was about the classy style of the serving job, and about the way we should take care about our appearance, you know, cosmetic caring, body exercising, and other things like that.
If it wouldn't have been the fear about what could come next, it would have been only fun.
I made a few good friends there, some of them joined the organization by their own will, with good salaries, and some were bought like me.

"But why did t

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