18 Happy Birthday, ZhanBi!

How did you get into my life?
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The four of them spent two hours of maximal fun time.
Their stomachs were already hurting, not from the food they've been eating, but from the stories JiJi and WuXian related to them.

After JiJi described the farting adventure, it was WuXian's turn to tell them about his planned surprise for his lover from last night, converted in the end into his most traumatic experience.



~Wei WuXian's narration:


"Even though he has never admitted it, I noticed that baobei dislikes when strings of hair from my balls are sticking onto his tongue or between his teeth.
What, what? ZhanZhan dear, you  don’t have to cover Yibo's ears, he is not a kid anymore, he is even older than you. Besides, isn't he a love trainer? This kind of information might be helpful in his profession, he, he.
So, I thought about surprising  my baby with a new pair of smooth danglies,  ha, ha, ha!
After you fell asleep, JiJi baby, I sneaked out and bought from a non stop pharmacy a hair removal gel for men.
As I was pretty impatient to get to the final result of my surprise, and also afraid that he could wake up before finishing the intervention, I skipped reading the whole litany of instructions and just rushed to the bathroom...

Initially all went pretty well. I applied the gel and just stood there waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait, though. At first it was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning.




Religion was never an important feature of my life, but last night I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion able to stop the violent burning around my tunnel and of what seemed like the destruction of the meat of my two weggies.
Struggling to refrain from my screams, for not waking up my baby, I tried to wash away the gel in the sink, but I only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.
Through the haze of tears of pain, I struggled out the bathroom, to the kitchen, mostly crawling onto my four on the last yard to the fridge.
In the hope of looking for a form of cold relief, I yanked the freezer drawer out, and found a tub of baobei's favorite ice cream.
I frantically tore the lid and positioned it under me.
Uhh, I can tell you that the relief was fantastic, ahh! But only temporary, as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.
Due to the ice cream tub shape, I couldn't give my tunnel any cold treatment, so I rummaged blindly in the freezer drawer, my vision beginning to fail me.
I grabbed a bag of which I later found out that it was frozen sprouts and tore it up, trying to be as quiet as I could be.
I took a handful of those and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
Meanwhile some of the gel found its way up to my channel. This was the time when I wished for a gay snowman’s presence in my kitchen, in order to cool my depth and ease my pain.
The only option I could think of was to gently slide one of the cold sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen, JiJi woke up and made the uninspired decision to investigate what was happening."

Wang Ji managed to continue the story started by his lover, between hiccups of laughter, wiping his tears rolling down his cheeks:
"Imagine what was spinning in my mind when I was greeted by XianXian's sticking up into the air, ice cream dripping from his bell, while he was pushing frozen sprout in his -hole and  OOH, AAH,  THAT FEELS GOOD..."

WuXian recounted further:
"Understandably, baobei let out a scream, scaring the out of me, and causing an involuntary spasm inside myself, a spasm that resulted in the sprout being ejected at a quite high speed in his direction."

"Yeah, Xian Ge managed to surprise me, indeed.
It's not an ordinary thing having a sprout fart against your leg at 2 in the night and seeing your favorite ice cream box with that strange hollow in the middle, ha, ha, ha!
I still love you baby!
Now we are both equally embarrassing people, thank you for making me forget about my humble fart, your sprout fart was at a much, much higher level!",  Wang Ji choked in laughter, before kissing away WuXian's laughing tears. 

"And how did you solve the problem in the end?", Xiao Zhan asked, clutching at his stomach in pain from the heavy laughing.

"Baby JiJi helped me, he found in the box of the removal a small bottle of lotion which calmed down my pain and wiped away the remaining hair.
Anyway, I think that I will settle on shaving from now on." 

"This happened only because you tried to keep secrets away  from me. If you would have told me, I would have helped you from the start.
Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you from now on.", JiJi smiled, affectionately  kissing XianXian's lips.

"Muffin, you do hear your GeGe, don't you?
You should learn from him and never again keep secrets away from me.
I mean never keep secrets away from your manager.", Xiao Zhan corrected himself, burying deep down in his heart the unconscious wish for him to be with Muffin the same as his friend A-Xian is with Wang Ji.








"You look stunning!
And that man bun! Woah, it’s y, you should wear your hair like that more often!
Are you sure that you are not trying to impress  a certain woman's heart, and steal away from me all of my chances with ZiZi?", Xiao Zhan complimented  his flatmate when he walked out from his room,  groomed all up and ready for the restaurant dinner.




"I look no better than you!
You are like a  big shot CEO, or like a mafia godfather in this black suit, perfectly matched with your supermodel body and that  beautiful, flawless face of yours!
Yang Zi Jie will faint at your sight!
Mnhaa, you smell so damn good, let me sniff you. I love your cologne...ughhh...", Yibo inhaled , plastering himself against Zhan’s chest and burying his whole face into his neck crook , causing him to tremble slightly.



"You can use it, too, if you want.", Xiao Zhan whispered, brushing involuntarily his lips over Yibo’s unruly hair sticking  off the bun, and running his hands along his back.

"Nahh, it would be weird for both of us to smell the same.
Besides I bet that the cologne would have a different scent onto my skin, than on yours.
Oh, I ruined your tie knot, let me fix it!", BoBi smiled, his soft fingers touching unintentionally Zhan's pulsing jugular vein in the process, whose breathing became erratic.

The way he was biting his bottom lip while  focusing on the knot...
Damn you Wang Yibo, for confusing Xiao Zhan like this!
Why was he feeling that damn urge to be him biting that lip?!

His hands didn't listen to his brain.
Zhan pretended to not notice the enlarged eyes staring in surprise into his, when his palms cupped Muffin's baby cheeks and his teeth sank in that appealing, quivering bottom lip.



Yibo pulled away only when his first surprise  dissipated and when he found himself with hands clutching at Zhan's waist and with  legs  buckling from the overwhelming sensations:
"Ah ZhanBi, why do you keep doing this?"

"Uhm, I just wanted to thank you for greeting me on my birthday.
Also, I wished to return the compliment about me smelling good, therefore I told you through my kiss that you taste damn good.", Xiao Zhan stuttered, making himself busy with his wrist watch.
Anyway, we should be going, I wonder how come that A-Xian  didn't call yet.”


"ZhanBi, we should call them to meet us halfway and pick me up in their car, to go with them to the restaurant.
I don't want to be the third wheel when you'll pick up Miss Yang Zi.", Yibo  said, when Zhan opened the car door for him.

"And let you die gassed by your brother's farts , don't you remember that A-Xian's car was the crime scene?"

"You meanie, the quarantine of the contaminated area must be over by now.
They have ventilated it already, I'm sure.", Yibo laughed, punching the driver's arm.

"Actually ZiZi called me to ask for my permission to bring along a cousin of hers, Meng Meiqi. Her cousin lives in the States, but she has just arrived today in an unexpected visit.
First  we will pick up mom, then the girls.
I don’t have  anywhere to pull aside the car, so, here is my phone, call A-Xian and tell him that we'll meet at the restaurant he knows  I made the reservation for."

Yibo covered his mouth with a hand,  to suppress his surprise at ZhanBi's phone wallpaper.
When opened the phone a picture of them together greeted him.
"It's that selfie we took in the BIYXSZD cafe, I used it as my wallpaper, only for marking our first day of training...", Xiao Zhan  quickly explained, all flustered.

"I understand, I assume that you will change it  with your selfie with ZiZi Jie, soon.
As your trainer let me remind you that your birthday party should be a great opportunity to ask her to be your girlfriend, and to give her the first kiss, if she will agree.
You can also do something fluffy and cute, like for example, you can ask her to cut together with you the cake, then feed each other. Girls love this kind of stuff.
Now, I will call WuXian Ge.", the trainer smiled, swallowing down the big, bitter lump blocking his throat.


Yibo moved at the back seats for letting Zhan's mother to sit on the front seat, but not before holding politely the car door for the lady to climb in:
"Good afternoon, Mrs Xiao, you look extremely classy and elegant."

"Thank you, cutie, but you don't have to get formal with me, didn't I tell you to call me mom?",  the woman smiled, caressing his cheek.
"ZhanZhan  dear, I didn't expect you not to visit me at all,  together with your lovely boyfriend."

I already told you, he is not my boyfriend!",  Zhan shouted.

"Shht, calm down and keep your voice low, neighbors are watching us.
Okay, if you say so.
It's dangerous for the passengers to get on the driver's nerves.", the lady  chuckled, turning around and winking at the back seat passenger.


"Are you comfortable there, all of you?", Xiao Zhan asked, peeking worriedly in the rearview mirror at the three passengers from the back seats: the timid BoBi sandwiched between the two  girls, ZiZi and her overly talkative cousin Meng Meiqi.

The cousin was all over poor shy Yibo, her hands touching his cheeks, her head dropping by mistake onto his shoulder, and her s keeping  poking his arm at every light bump road.



Luckily the ride was short, and the distressed boy sighed in relief when he was able to escape from the car.
He muttered a silent thank you to his flat mate when he asked him to look for A-Xian's car in the parking lot, while he would lead the ladies inside.

"He's so cute, I want so hard to bite those fluffy cheeks of his.
And I assume that  he is free, if he were in a relationship, he wouldn't come alone at your birthday party, am I right?", the cousin giggled, clinging  to Zhan's arm.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Meng Meiqi, but he is already taken.", he patted her hand, keeping his face serious, but laughing  internally at the girl's huge disappointing pout.

"Actually I don't care about that at all, I'm a fighter!", the girl replied, killing Zhan's inner laughter, instantly.

Of course Meiqi's continuous flirtation with Muffin, gave the birthday man some moments of gloomy mood, but he recomposed himself quickly when he noticed Yibo rejecting all of her attendings, to the extent of replying to her lame lines almost rudely.

Meiqi's lines were lame indeed,  Zhan mumbled to himself:
"I'm sorry, I forgot your name, can I call you MINE?", or, "Your glowing beauty is blinding me, did you know that fireflies are glowing during mating time?"

Everybody from the table laughed hard, especially Zhan, at  Muffin's prompt reply:
"But did you know that fireflies are also glowing as larvae, to warn the predators that they are poisonous and dangerous?"

"ZhanZhan darling, I need to go outside for a moment, my chauffeur brought your birthday cake. It's made by my own hands.Meiqi, come with me to help me!",  Yang Zi said, after reading a phone message, probably  sent by the chauffeur.

WuXian , who was pretty silent the whole time to that moment, couldn't resist anymore. After all Xiao Zhan was his best friend:
"ZhanZhan, I know that  it's not my business,  but did you really like how the so-called love of your life treated those waiters?
No offense, Mrs Xiao, but my mother has taught me that I have to set my alarm when a person I like treats others badly in public, like being unkind to the waitstaff, or if generally seems to think the person deserves having their needs met immediately. My mother also said that how a person treats others is how they will end up treating you and your children in the long run."

Zhan remembered suddenly about the homeless old couple  Muffin had told him about, and the way he treated them.

"Some people are so poor, that all they have is money.", Wang Ji sighed, earning a loving gaze from his lover.

"I totally agree with your mother, dear A-Xian.
I'm sure my son is smart enough to decide what 's best for him.
But ZhanZhan, in the same time, I hope that you will pay a good listening to what your heart is telling you, too, not only to your brain.",  Mrs Xiao smiled.

Wang Yibo felt like it was not his place to hear that family intimate conversation, so he asked his brother to accompany him to the restroom.

Xiao Zhan's mother took her son's hand between her palms:
"My dearest ZhanZhan, you know how much I love you, and wish for you the whole  happiness from the world.
Besides I'm not that old and senile to not remember the love I've had with your father.
What I'm trying to say is that eyes are the mirror of the soul, and I saw how your eyes are getting enlightened whenever you look at...and how you paid an extra attention to that person for not getting discouraged while telling a story which nobody from the table have been  listening to...Never mind, I don't want to push you in any way.
All I want is to ask yourself sincerely: have you ever just looked at someone and thought I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU? That someone was  just humming, reading a book, eating, watching a movie, laughing or simply talking, nothing special actually.
And there was something about

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