Fresh start: The characterization of a debtor's status after bankruptcy, i.e., free of most debts. (Giving debtors a fresh start is one purpose of the Bankruptcy Code.)

 

 

“Winter Kim.”

 

My ears perked up nung narinig ko ‘yon mula kay Daddy. I looked at the clock and it states that it’s already 10:52 in the evening. Bakit nandito ‘yun? Kakahatid niya lang sa’kin kanina ah?

 

I closed the door behind me and was about to go downstairs when dad talked.

 

“Honey…” As what he had called me – his tone was as sweet as a honey. Halatang naglalambing.

 

I’m already inches away from him. Alam niya na I don’t have the energy to talk after what happened kanina and alam ko rin na all he wants to talk about is my ‘matters’ with my mother kaya as much as possible, I am avoiding him muna.

 

I looked back sa kaniya and raised my eyebrows, along with a small polite smile. “Hmm?”

 

“I’m really sorry.” He sighed and and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry I made you feel this way…”

 

Plano ko sanang patagalin yung tampo ko para may bacon and pancakes ako every morning but how can I resist my vulnerable Dad ngayon?

 

I know his intentions are pure when he said na gusto niyang magkaayos kami ni Mom. His sincerity is also felt by the way he is relaying his words.

 

Hindi na ako sumagot at pumunta na lang sakaniya para yakapin siya. He’s a tall human being, namana ko nga sakaniya, so I hugged his waist and leaned my head sa chest niya.

 

“Don’t be sorry, dad. It’s not your fault po.” He returned my hug at may naramdaman akong humihikbi. Is he crying? Napaka sadboi naman ni Daddy!

 

“I know you only wanted what’s best for everybody but it’s just me, dad.” Oo, I’m the problem, it’s me. Eme!

 

He broke our hug at suminghap pa. I wiped his tears with my right hand.

 

“Hay. Sige, go na anak. Your visitor must be waiting sa labas.” He chuckled light-heartedly – relieved that he got the assurance na hindi ako galit or whatever sa kaniya.

 

“Don’t wait for me. Mabilis lang ‘to. Love you daddy!”

 

I then rushed to go downstairs. Wala nang pakealam kung naka pantulog na ako; wearing my olaf pajama set at naka lazy bun na yung buhok.

 

Walking towards our gate, naaaninagan ko na yung sinasabing Kim ni Dad and it’s really her. I giggled kasi nakatayo lang talaga siya sa harap ng gate namin. Na-intimidate siguro kay daddy.

 

“Prof Kim! What brings you here… again?” I playfully called. Medyo malakas yung pagtawag ko sa kaniya kasi hindi pa ako nakaabot sa gate namin. Nagulat naman siya at nanlaki ang mata. Sagana ba siya sa kape at palagi na lang nagugulat?

 

She awkwardly showed my pouch up in the air at ngumiti. “You left this at the restaurant. They called my number.”

 

P’wede namang daanan namin bukas ‘yan ah?

 

Binuksan ko muna yung gate bago siya sinagot. “We can get that tomorrow naman ah?”

 

She put down her hand na hawak ang pouch ko at nagpakita ng mukha na nagsasabing ‘oo nga ‘no’?

 

“I-I just thought you might need this early in the morning. You wear make up everytime you go to school so, this might be essential?” Nag-aalinalangan pa siya nung sinabi niya yun.

 

Parang may kung anong bulate ang tumambling sa tiyan ko.

 

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

 

Kasi she never even took a glance at me tuwing dadating ako sa campus.

 

Napapaisip tuloy ako; never nga ba talaga?

 

Natuod ako sa kinatatyuan ko which is the side kung nasaan ang bahay namin. Siya naman ay nasa labas pa rin. Pinapagitnaan kami ng gate na half open.

 

“H-here.” She handed out the pouch and I slowly took it.

 

Wala pa rin siyang nakukuhang sagot sa akin kung gaya’t lumikot ang kaniyang mga mata at kung saan-saan na lang tumitingin.

 

I can’t help but think kung kailan yung mga panahon na she offered a glance at me sa campus… kasi wala talaga! Parang dinosaur lang sa ngayong panahon – wala!

 

“I should go…” Tinuro niya ang likod niya – pertaining that she should already leave the awkward atmosphere na namuo sa amin.

 

“W-wait!” Pagpigil ko nung dahan-dahan na siyang tumalikod.

 

I don’t know what I’m doing.

 

Gusto ko lang sana magpasalamat.

 

Hindi kakayanin ng konsensiya kong paalisin siya agad, pagkatapos niyang maghintay nang matagal.

 

“Do you… wanna come inside?” But instead of thanking her, inaya ko pa siyang pumasok sa pamamahay namin.

 

She looks so puzzled kaya inayos ko ang context ng sinabi ko. “Uhm. I was about to stargaze at the terrace. Do you want to join? I mean if you only want to. Hindi kita pinipilt ah pero kung gusto mo lang. Kung ayaw mo, okay lang rin. Pero kung gusto mo lang tala-“

 

“Hey…” Natigilan ako sa pagsasalita.

 

Bakit ba ako nagpapanic?

 

What’s there to panic?

 

Baka siguro dahil nagsinungaling ako na I'm about to do stargazing kung ang katotohanan ay matutulog na ako?

 

“Gusto ko.” Nanayo lahat ng balahibo ko nung narinig ko siyang magtagalog. It sent shivers down my spine.

 

Hindi ko talaga alam ang nangyayari sa akin dahil imbes na matawa, like how I’d normally react to it, ay parang nanibago pa ako.

 

Maybe I’m still vulnerable sa nangyari kanina sa loob ng bahay?

 

Or dahil fragile pa ako sa conversation namin ni Dad?

 

 “S-sige… Pasok ka.” I moved aside para makapasok siya.

 

We walked side by side habang nakapasok ang mga kamay niya sa loob ng hoodie niya. She’s still wearing the same outfit kanina. Mukhang hindi nga talaga siya umuwi.

 

“Water? Juice? Tea?” Pagtanong ko nung makapasok na kami sa bahay. I’m sure dad is asleep na rin naman dahil I saw how tired his eyes were.

 

And ang rude ko naman kung hindi ako mag-ooffer ng inumin sa bisita kong nakatulog sa paghihintay sa labas.

 

“Water’s fine. Thankyou.” She politely replied at umupo muna sa sofa namin.

 

Dumiretso naman ako sa kitchen para kumuha ng warm water. Malamig na kasi ang panahon, ang sama ko naman kapag bibigyan ko pa siya ng malamig na tubig.

 

“Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?” Sambit ko nung pabalik na ako kung saan siya nakaupo, dala-dala ang tubig.

 

Umiling siya nang mahina and pursed her lips. “I live alone.”

 

Ano? Eh sino yung nagdadrive palagi sa kaniya?

 

“Eh yung nagdadrive sa’yo?” Ayan chismosa mode nanaman ang mhiema niyo. I guess hindi naman siya uncomfy sa mga tanong ko kaya siguro nagkakaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na magtanong.

 

“He’s just sort of my companion.” She shrugged.

 

Hindi ba malungkot?

 

Akala ko may inuwian siya rito? Bakit mag-isa siya?

 

Umupo na rin ako sa sofa. Forgetting the stargazing thing. I sat; not near nor far sa kaniya, creating a comfortable amount of distance.

 

“Wala ka bang pamilya or friends na taga rito?” I slowly asked. Not wanting to come out as disrespectful sa personal matters niya. Iniisip ko rin ang mga tamang salita na gagamitin sa pagtanong.

 

“Well, there’s Ning and the gang. As per family, I’m kinda figuring it out.” Nasesense ko na she’s giving vague answers. Na parang ayaw niya pang pag-usapan dahil parang malalim ito.

 

I guess it’s a conversation for another day.

 

Kahit pa gaano ako na-intriga sa ‘figuring it out’ na part ng sinabi niya tungkol sa family, I won’t cross boundaries.

 

I cleared my throat. “Let’s go upstairs?”

 

“Yeah.” I stood up and she followed me suit.

 

Naninibago ako sa inaasta ko dahil I am not someone na basta-basta lang mag-aayang mag-stargaze with me. Especially not with someone na hindi masiyadong close sa akin.

 

Stargazing has been my comfort and kakabili lang ni dad ng bago kong telescope. If you’re gonna ask my friends, they can testify na hindi ko sila agad pinapahawak rito.

 

But why am I at ease na pinapapasok ko si Winter Kim sa terrace namin?

 

And needless to say, isasama ko siya sa stargazing escapades ko.

 

I inhaled an ample amount of breath at binuksan na ang door papunta sa terrace. I checked the time and it’s almost 11 pm. May classes pa kami tomorrow so, hindi ko na lang patatagalin si Aussie rito at baka ma late pa siya bukas. Ayaw niya pa namang ma late.

 

“You can take a seat near my telescope.” I pointed at my newly bought Celestron NexStar 8SE. Manghang-mangha naman si Aussie rito and looked at it like she saw a precious diamond.

 

“Can I… touch it?” She asked politely.

 

“Sure.” I answered – surely. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako nagdalawang isip na ipahawak sa kaniya ‘to. Ni hindi ko nga pinag-isipan ang sagot ko. I just felt like I trust her enough para hayaan siya sa telescope ko.

 

I neither know kung alam niya bang humawak nito nor may idea ba siya sa pag operate but one thing’s for sure; I am certain that she’ll handle it with care.

 

She’s gentle and careful sa mga bagay na hindi sa kaniya. I witnessed it nung pinahawak muna ni Yuna yung phone niya nang naglaro siya sa quad.

 

Isa lang ang upuan dito sa terrace kaya kumuha muna ako ng isa pa sa labas. Ako lang naman ang umuupo doon and Dad doesn’t go out dito kasi he feels lonely raw.

 

I think tama nga siya na we are really far from each other; I feel whole kasi whenever I’m out there.

 

After getting a chair, I came back to a smiley Aussie; her eye on the eyepiece, right hand adjusting the lens and the other holding the telescope gently.

 

I knew it.

 

“Can you name the star that you’re watching?” She then shifted her head towards my direction while smiling.

 

“Hmm. I’m trying to find Sirius but I guess I at it.” She pouted which made me chuckle. Mukha siyang bata na hindi napagbigyang sumakay ng rides.

 

I placed the chair beside hers at lumapit sa kaniya para ituro kung paano hanapin si Sirius. Umusog naman siya nung malapit na ako; already aware of what I’m gonna do. I then moved the eyepiece papunta sa akin.

 

“All you have to do is locate Orion. Then, imagine a line passing through its three middle stars. Tapos try to look along the line towards the east and voila! You’ll see Sirius. Madali lang naman siya mahanap because it’s the brightest out there. Here, try it.”

 

I moved the eyepiece back to her direction and she gladly took it. Nagsimula na siyang i-adjust ang lens at inilocate na ang pinagsasabi ko kanina. She’s so focused up to the point na kinakagat niya nanaman yung labi niya.

 

Nahihirapan pa rin ata siya dahil kumukunot na yung noo niya sa effort na mahanap si Sirius.

 

Cute.

 

Hoy?! Saan nanggaling ‘yon? Please lang kung sino mang kaluluwa ang bumubulong, ‘wag po ngayon please. Kakasabak ko lang sa giyera ng mga magulang ko.

 

I shook my head aggressively to release the thoughts na namumuo sa isip ko which caused aussie to look at me concernedly.

 

Hindi naman ako sinapian bhie. Nukaba… Malapit na. Chz!

 

“May I?” I asked, referring to help her find the star again.

 

She moved nang konti lang kaya wala akong choice kundi lumapit kasi maliit lang naman ang isang telescope sa dalawang tao so, magsiksikan tayo rito!

 

“Nakikita mo ba yung parang hourglass na nabuo ng stars na ‘yon?” Nagulat ako nung inilapit niya rin yung ulo niya sa kung saan ang akin; nasa eyepiece. If I were to move my head towards her direction, baka magkiss kami!

 

‘Wag! Ayoko pa!

 

Ingat na ingat ko pa naman yung first kiss ko. Hmp!

 

“U-uhm. There.” Inalis ko na ang ulo ko near the eyepiece. Inayos ko na rin ang position nang telescope para direkta na itong naka point towards Sirius.

 

“Imagine a line passing through, right?” She asked. I nodded my head na parang nakikita niya ako. Sobrang pikit na ng isang mata niya at dikit na dikit naman yung nasa eyepiece.

 

Sirius will be worth her effort though.

 

“Ha! There’s Sirius! I found it! Woah!” She giggled like a little kid and I can’t help na tumawa rin along with her.

 

It feels light.

 

This moment makes me think if hindi pa siya nakapag stargaze or she’s just not good at locating constellations?

 

“Never ka pa bang nakapag stargaze?” My arms are now folded in front of my chest dahil sa lamig. She noticed my shivering state at hindi nagdalawang isip hubarin ang kaniyang hoodie.

 

She’s just now wearing her white t-shirt after she handed her hoodie to me.

 

Aware ba siya na I can get one naman sa loob kasi nasa bahay naman kami?

 

Ako aware ako, oo. But I don’t seem to have the urge to leave this atmosphere between us. I feel like my feet is stuck in this very floor and I can’t get away from it.

 

So, I gladly took and wore her hoodie na amoy baby powder while I muttered a silent thanks.

 

“Isang beses lang.”

 

Ayan nanaman siya. She’s trying to communicate with me in tagalog and I can’t help but feel weird sa ginagawa niya.

 

Ewan ko ba kung nagpapraktis lang siya o sinasadya niya ‘to para asarin ako.

 

So, I looked at her para ma examine ang expressions niya and it portrayed nothing but innocence and purity.

 

 “Bakit naman hindi na naulit?” Hindi ko alam. I don’t know what’s driving me to ask more questions. Dapat nga pinapauwi ko na siya at sinasabihang gabi na eh.

 

She let go of the telescope, removed her eye sa eyepiece, and stood straight. Tumingala siya sa kalangitan at ngumiti nang malungkot.

 

“Because I stargazed with someone very dear to my heart…” Unti-unti niya ring iniyuko ang ulo at huminga nang malalim. “…and I can’t imagine myself doing it again if it’s not with her.”

 

Her?

 

Someone dear to her heart?

 

So, why did she agree to stargaze with me kung ganon naman pala? Hindi naman siya napilitan kanina. I even told her na okay lang kung ayaw niya.

 

I hear her let out a chuckle. “I know what you’re thinking.” She’s now looking at me while grinning with her eyes reflecting the the moon’s form.

 

“Why did I agree with your invite?” She tilted her head as if asking me if tama ba siya.

 

I nodded agad kasi she read my mind right. Congrats aussie isa ka nang certified manghuhula!

 

“I thought I couldn’t imagine myself doing this thing again if it’s not her… but from the moment that the word stargazing came out from your mouth, I did not feel any inch of hesitations towards my answer. So maybe, as what I’ve said at the council room earlier; if it’s you, I could make an exception.”

 

She said while looking at me straight in the eye.

 

Naghahanap ako ng sign sa mukha niya na nagjojoke lang siya pero wala…

 

Ayan nanaman tuloy yung mga bulate na tumatambling!

 

“Why is this conversation all about me?” She said while laughing, tuluyan nang iniwan ang teleskopyo at pumunta kung saan ako nakapwesto; sa mga upuan.

 

I scoffed nung tinanong niya iyon. I can feel na komportable na siyang makipagkulitan sa akin and let out her playful side.

 

I like it.

 

Gusto kong nag-oopen ang mga tao sa akin.

 

I peered skywards to take a look again at the majestic view above us.

 

“I’m sorry if I ever come out as disrespectful but your eyes seem like they’re swollen. Do you wanna take a rest?” Naramdaman kong nagpalit siya nang posisyon sa pagkakaupo. Itinaas niya ang isang paa at inilagay ito sa upuan. Naka harap na siya sa akin.

 

Natawa ako dahil ang cautious niya pa sa pagtanong. “No, no I don’t find it rude. And yes, it’s really swollen kasi kakaiyak ko lang. Ang galing mo nga mag timing eh.” I replied.

 

Komportable ko ring sinabi ang katotohanan sa kaniya.

 

Na umiyak ako. Na maga ang mata kasi kakahagulgol ko lang.

 

Maybe it’s the feeling na alam kong I won’t get judged by her?

 

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” She carefully uttered.

 

I understand what she meant. Tinatanong niya if gusto kong mag vent sa kaniya. That it’s okay to let out everything sa kaniya.

 

Her gaze tells.

 

Umiling ako nang mahina habang nakitingin pa rin sa mga bituin.

 

It’s funny how we’re talking about stars kanina and now were actually here; watching the stars above.

 

She acknowledged my answer by nodding her head and fixing her position once again. Siguro para hindi ako maging uncomfy kaya hindi na siya tumingin sa akin.

 

“Do you find stars interesting?” Pagbasag ko sa ilang minutong katahimikan.

 

Panaginip - Iluna

Sa mundong ito
Para tayong mga ibon na lumilipad
Sa kahel na kalangitan
Na walang ginagawa kung di ang magmahal

 

“Mmm! I wouldn’t have tried so hard to find Sirius if I wasn’t interested.” I can’t see her expressions or anything dahil nakatingala pa rin ako but I can hear that she was serious about her answer.

 

Madilim na buhay pa rin ang mundo
Tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa 'yo hindi napupundi
Lumalapit bumabalik sa 'yo
Sa 'yo

 

Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagtingin sa kalawakan at maingat na hinahanap ang mga paborito kong constellations.

 

Gusto kitang makasama buong gabi
Nakahigang nakaharap sa mga bituin
Hinihintay ang kinabukasan
Tayong dalawa lang sa istoryang ito

 

“Eh ako?” My mind is telling me na ‘wag pagpatuloy ang tanong na ‘to but my gut tells me otherwise.

 

Binaba ko na ang tingin ko papunta sa kaniya and I caught her staring at me already with raised eyebrows and a confused face.

 

Sa mundong ito
Ang ganda ng mga bituin
Ngunit sa 'yong sa 'yo lang ako
Nakatingin

 

“Do you find me interesting?” I clenched my fist kasi kinakabahan ulit ako.

 

Hindi naman ako kinabahan nang ganito nung Buzz Your Wits ah?

 

Mga kilos mo'y aking nasisilayan
Ako ba'y lumilipad na naman

 

“No.”

 

Ay…

 

Hindi man lang pinatagal ng 5 seconds?!

 

Hindi man lang ako hinayaan maging feelingera?!

 

She smiled after makita ang offended kong mukha. Oo, nakaka-offend. Sa ganda kong ‘to!

 

Gusto kitang makasama buong gabi
Nakahigang nakaharap sa mga bituin
Hinihintay ang kinabukasan
Tayo lang ba sa istoryang ito

 

“No, I don’t find you interesting.”

 

Kinompleto pa nga. Bakit ba kailangan pang ipamukha sa’kin?

 

"It's an understatement."

 

Oo na, Winter Kim!

 

Pwede bang makasama ka kahit na sandali
Pwede bang makasama ka kahit di nakapikit
Kahit na di buong gabi basta't hindi lang sa panaginip
Panaginip

 

“I find you enthralling…”

 

Gusto kitang makasama buong gabi
Nakahigang nakaharap sa mga bituin
Hinihintay ang kinabukasan
Ako lang pala sa istoryang ito

 

Magrereklamo pa sana ako sa kaniya verbally na talaga when she said those 4 words. A 4-word sentence na nagpatigil ng kinang ng mga bituin sa kalangitan.

 

All I could see is Winter Kim with her flowery words, sweeping me off my feet.

 

Gusto kitang makasama buong gabi
Nakahigang nakaharap sa mga bituin
Hinihintay ang kinabukasan
Ako lang pala sa istoryang ito

 

“You fascinate me, Karina Yu.” She said with determination – determined to make me feel na totoo ang pinagsasabi niya.

 

I’ve never heard my name being called that way… It came out like it was a name as fragile as a glass. A name na kailangang ingatan. Na ang may-ari nang pangalang ito ay hindi basta kung sino-sino lang because she is Karina Yu.

 

I don’t care whatever the spur of the moment is leading me but her lowkey confession gave me enough confidence.

 

I am not dense.

 

Simula pa nung Buzz Your Wits, I could sense that her actions were something else.

 

I am just finding more reasons to strengthen my assumptions. I kept on observing her and alam ko na hindi friendly ang mga pinanggagawa niya.

 

My thoughts brought me back to my plan… Am I doing this dahil sa plano ko? That I’m 90% sure that it could work dahil aware ako na baka may gusto siya sa’kin?

 

Na ako lang pala ang nag-iisip na rivals kami?

 

Or am I doing this dahil iba na?

 

Paanong iba? Cause the only reason I could think of is my plan.

 

So therefore, I conclude that whatever happens tonight, it’s all because of my plan.

 

“Do you wanna take me on a date Winter Kim?” I asked her with challenging looks.

 

Shala. Kahit ako yung may plano siya pa rin dapat ang mag-take sa akin sa date ‘no!

 

At first, she feigned a bewildered expression pero nung nanatili akong seryoso tumawa siya. She laughed. Hindi dahil may nakakatawa pero dahil masaya siya.

 

“May I take you on a date Karina Yu?” ‘Yan ang gusto ko! She got what I meant!

 

Hmp! Hindi ako easy to get! Pabebe muna tayo.

 

“I’ll think about it.” I acted like I was thinking. Nilagay ko ang hintuturo ko on my chin and imagined na parang may bubble na nag pop sa ibabaw ng ulo ko.

 

Tumawa ulit siya. I won’t lie na ang ganda ng tawa niya. Meron siyang tawa na parang nawawalan na siya ng hininga at meron ring parang kambing pero yung pinakamasarap pakinggan ay yung parang nag-eenjoy lang siya.

 

“If I were you, and the Winter Kim would ask me out, I’d say yes in a heartbeat.” Mapanloko niyang asar.

 

Ay kaya pala hindi ako easy to get… Kasi siya yun!

 

Tama, balance lang.

 

“Well, sorry but I’m not you.” Sagot ko naman. Inaasar rin siya. Bumelat pa nga ako para hindi na siya makapalag.

 

She dramatically put her hand on her chest – kung saan ang kaniyang puso and acted like she was badly hurt. It kinda surprised me because I never thought that she had this in her.

 

I scanned her whole being. Hindi tinatago that I’m lowkey checking her out. Kahit nakaupo lang siya, I moved my head up towards the bottom. Parang inoobserve kung pasok ba siya sa standards ko.

 

“Okay.” I smugly finished. “You can take me on a date.”

 

Bursts of laughters and stomping of feet can be heard from her side. Walang malay rin akong napangiti dahil sa inaasta niya. Is she finding this situation amusing?

 

“Well then…” She stood up and fixed her belongings. “I’ll see you tomorrow, ganda.”

 

Hala bukas agad?

 

Sige na nga! Ako naman nagsimula kaya papanindigan ko ‘to.

 

“Quota ka na sa ganda ganda na ‘yan ah!” I jokingly said. Not minding the blooming flowers inside of me, itching to blossom in front of this woman.

 

“I learned that word when I was a kid but I only used it on you.”