Lane chapters will be in third person pov that'll consist the character's backstory; trip down memory lanes, explanations, and other character reveals. 

 

 

“Anak, wait!” Daddy Karl quickened his pace para mahabol si Karina. He was all aware that his daughter’s reaction would end up like this pero he still let it happen, kaya there’s no one else to blame but him and him alone.

 

After Karina saw the person she never wanted to see again – her own mother. She walked out with heavy steps and went upstairs to her room.

 

Everyone in the house can sense the anger through her shadows. She was fuming with raging thoughts clouding her mind. The pain, sorrow, and fury we’re stomping along her footsteps.

 

Ano ba ang inexpect ng parents niya na reaction? That their little girl will still be that guillible kid na kayang magpatawad kahit gaano pa kalaki ang kasalanan nila? Well, sad to say. Their kid has grown into a fine young woman na kaya nang umintindi ng bagay na mabigat.

 

Nagdoble sa bilis ang mga yapak ni Daddy K dahil gusto niya itong pakalmahin. He has already seen how bad Rina’s anger could get. “Honey, I’m sorry. Please calm down.”

 

Rina is listening. She is trying to calm down. But what she can’t get into her mind is yung aware naman si Dad niya sa feelings niya pero bakit umabot ulit sa ganito?

 

She stopped walking to her door at hinarap ang kaniyang ama. Her Dad’s heart clenched when he saw tears streaming down her eyes. Stupid. He tells himself.

 

“Since when, Dad?” Kilalang-kilala niya si Rina to understand what she meant by that question.

 

Since when did he start meeting her mom?

 

He’s not blind to ignore Karina’s intelligence. He knows that Karina is aware na hindi magiging ganun yung reaction niya sa living room if that was the first time na nagpakita ang kaniyang asawa.

 

Ang kaniyang asawa na naiwan sa sala when their daughter stormed out. So, she’s just there. Sitting on the couch – rethinking every wrong decision she has made; and that there’s a great possibility that their daughter would never look at her the way she does when she was still their baby girl.

 

Ito na rin siguro ang pinakaunang pagkakataon na magagalit si Rina sa kaniyang ama.

 

She was breathing heavily with teardrops flowing down together with it.

 

Hindi kayang tumingin ni Karl sa mga nasasaktang mata ni Rina kaya yumuko na lang ito. “Ana-“

 

“Since when?!” He flinched when their daughter raised her voice. Umabot ito sa baba at narinig rin ng kaniyang ina.

 

Karina is a soft-spoken kid. She rethinks every utterance that her pretty mouth would let out. She’s considerate about other people’s feelings so she makes sure to say gentle words. Kagaya nga ng sabi niya ‘just don’t let her emotions be filled to the brim’ and all will be good.

 

The man in front of her had no choice but to say the truth. “From the moment that I kept on telling you that I have important clients and meetings to attend to.”

 

He clenched his fist. Oh, he does feel really bad. Ngayon lang nagsisink-in lahat nang pagsisinungaling at excuses niya kay Rina.

 

If before he would never trade Karina for the world, ngayon parang he’s slowly slipping away from that oath?

 

Karina feigned an even hurt expression; her eyes widened, agape as if hindi makapaniwala na nagawa ng dad niya ‘yon.

 

She breathed a big amount of air para ihanda ang sarili niya sa kung ano man ang sagot ng kaniyang ama rito. “Do you mean, when you were rushing to go pagkatapos nung awarding ceremony at nung absent ka sa Buzz Your Wits competition ko?”

 

He didn’t want to answer.

 

Karl didn’t want to answer dahil alam niyang guguho ang mundo ng anak niya kapag aaminin niya ang totoo.

 

“Answer me, dad!” Humahagulgol na yung anak niya at nagpantig ang tenga niya rito.

 

Karl loves to hear melodies sa kaniyang tenga. His favorite is Karina's laugh and yung pinaka ayaw niya ang pag-iyak naman neto.

 

Pumuputi na yung kamay niya sa sobrang higpit ng pagkuyom niya rito. “Yes.”

 

His daughter looks so vulnerable in front of him na gusto niya na lang itong yakapin at sabihin na hindi na ito mauulit. Hindi na siya gagawa ng mga desisyon na makakasira ng relasyon nilang mag-ama.

 

“W-what..?” Rina’s expression could not be deciphered.

 

Hindi alam ng Daddy niya kung ano ang nararamdaman niya – at kahit mismo si Rina ay hindi rin alam kung ano ang dapat niyang maramdaman.

 

Her dad has been her number one supporter ever since she became an achiever. Palagi niya itong maririnig na nagsisigaw sa gitna ng sangkatauhan.

 

If work was the reason na hindi siya makakadalo, Rina would’ve understood. She’s not a selfish daughter na ihohold back ang kaniyang ama sa trabaho nito.

 

But hearing that her dad did not attend because he had to meet the woman whom she loathed – she feels defeated… Na parang kahit sa Daddy niya – she’s just someone who’s not worthy to be chosen; to be prioritized.

 

It’s heavy…

 

Hindi niya kaya…

 

She can’t do this today or not any time soon…

 

“I’m sorry, honey. I just thought-“

 

“Yeah, you just thought!” Karina cut off his remorse. She thinks that it’s already over and done for – the damage has been done.

 

It’s like a fully-healed wound was cut open again inside her; opening every memory and miseries that were buried at the back of her mind.

 

“You just thought na if I took a glance at her I would be like ‘Hi mom! Long time no see. Let’s go shopping tomorrow.’ Hell, yeah.” Dagdag pa niya.

 

Inangat ni Karl ang kaniyang ulo dahil it was new to him na marinig ang anak niya na mag bitaw ng ganoong salita. If it was another situation kasi, si Rina ang nagpupuna sa kaniya to not say bad words.

 

“Language!” The disciplinarian in him woke at parang nasobrahan ata yung sigaw niya because Karina quailed in her position. Pati siya nagulat na nasigawan niya ang anak.

 

Huminahon siya and internally scolded himself.

 

Nag-umpisa siyang maglakad ng dahan-dahan.

 

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Hindi ko sinasadya na sigawan ka.” He tried to go near his daughter and hold her hand but Karina just backed away at inilayo ang kamay niya. Tinignan ni Karl ang anak sa mata and he saw the eyes that he never wanted to see in his entire life – Karina’s eyes; full of fear.

 

His daughter being afraid of him is the last thing that he would ever want. Gusto niyang open and comfortable ang anak niya sa kaniya. He taught her to speak her heart and mind whenever they are talking.

 

He kept in her mind that she doesn’t have to be someone whom she’s not if she’s with daddy.

 

Karina stepped back cautiously, making sure na hindi na makakalapit ang ama niya sakaniya.

 

She’s scared,

 

not because of her dad

 

but because she’s afraid to let out more words that she doesn’t mean.

 

Ayaw niyang magsisisi – ayaw niyang may pinagsisisihan. 

 

“Honey she’s gonna be here until December.” Pahabol ni Karl nung nakikita niyang malapit na pumasok si Rina sa kwarto niya. Nakahawak na ito sa doorknob at handa nang buksan ang pinto.

 

Karina felt like she broke her neck sa sobrang bilis niyang nilingon ang ama.

 

Did she hear it right?

 

Really?

 

December talaga?

 

Nananadya ba ‘to?

 

Bakit parang pinaglalaruan na lang siya ng lahat ng tao sa paligid niya?

 

“December?” She scoffed mockingly. “Why not umalis din agad bukas? Kasi ganiyan naman ang mangyayari diba? She’ll be here until that month tapos she’ll just leave like nothing happened. Na wala siyang pamilyang iniwan.”

 

Some parent would react violently to this. They would slap and shout at their kids kasi the words that got out from Karina’s mouth are almost below the belt… but Karl understands her, he understands where Rina is coming from and he cannot blame his daughter.

 

She left them afterall.

 

He’s aware na maririnig ni Elina ang pinagsasabi ng anak nila dito sa taas and he lets it be. In order to let the woman know kung ano ang nararamdaman ng anak nila.

 

Kanina nung sila pa lang dalawa sa sala, Karl keeps on telling her na ‘wag muna ngayon because he didn’t prepare Rina. Ni hindi niya nga na consult ang anak if it’s okay with her to meet her mom again.

 

He was dead worried na things will just get worse – and guess what? It got worse. Their father and daughter relationship is on the brink of slipping away from his daughter’s hold.

 

Alam niyang may sasabihin pa ang anak kaya he just stood there, willing to be his daughter’s venting place.

 

“I’m already okay, dad. I’ve accepted na siguro, I’m just born to be a Daddy’s girl and I lived with that. Did I ever ask you kung bakit wala akong nanay? Sinabi ko bang kailangan ko niyan?” Her feet felt numb. Simula kanina pa nung naglalakad sila at nung pagpasok niya, she didn’t have the chance to sit and rest.

 

She doesn’t feel anything…

 

Nothing…

 

Nothing but the sentiments of a little girl that Rina kept within her. Seeking for solace in a form of a person.

 

She’s lost. She’s nowhere to be found. She doesn’t have any idea if what kind of path is she taking.

 

She sort of calmed down because of her father’s miserable state sa harap niya. She believes that she and her dad are connected; whatever she feels, her dad feels. Kaya if she’s badly wounded ngayon, her dad is somehow broken inside rin.

 

“I-i’m gonna get inside. I need space…” Binuksan niya na sa wakas ang pinto na kanina niya pa hinahawakan. She took one step forward but turned back again to her downhearted father. “I just want to breathe, daddy… You still have to make bacon and pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.”

 

Inangat ni Karl ang kaniyang tingin sa anak at tinignan siya ng malambing. Nginitian niya ito at tinanguan na parang sinasabi na hindi niya ito bibiguin dahil ang una niyang gagawin ay ang pagluto ng almusal neto.

 

Pagkatapos magsara ni Rina ng pinto ay bumaba rin agad si Karl para balikan ang naiwan nilang ilaw ng tahanan. The woman looked at her husband with hopeful eyes; asking him if it went well.

 

How could it go well?

 

When everything happened in a speed of light. Napakabilis ng pangyayari. One time Rina was hugging him as if he was her most precious treasure and the next, she was swatting his hand away.

 

So, no. It did not go well.

 

Umiling siya ng mahina para ipaalam na nothing got better.

 

“I see…” Halata sa mga mata ng babae na kakaiyak niya lang din. “I’m sorry, Karl. I shouldn’t have forced you to do this.” She smiled painfully. Fully-aware that somehow, her mini-me doesn’t want her in her life anymore.

 

“She’s a good kid, Elina.” Although, Karl may have some shimmering hope in his chest that believes in the good their daughter has. “She’s a kind person. I know she’ll come around.” He bit his lips dahil nalulungkot siya sa pangyayari.

 

When did my baby began to understand the cruelty of the world?

 

“I just hope that I didn’t entirely ruin her bubbly personality.” Tumayo na si Elina and showed sincerity to the man she built a family with.

 

They’re not separated nor divorced. It just so happens that the genre wherein someone has to leave their loved ones in order to reach their dreams happened in their household.

 

Elina had a choice. She would’ve chosen her husband and her daughter who’s an epitome of cupcakes and rainbows.

 

She wanted to stay… but at some point, there was something in her that also wanted to go miles after her dreams.

 

And it was Karl who pushed her – saying that he could take care of Rina while she’s gone; to let their daughter grow with beauty and grace.

 

 

[FLASHBACK: 5-YEAR-OLD K]

“Mom… Dad…” Mahimbing nang natutulog ang mag-asawa sa kanilang sariling kwarto.

 

Simula kasi nung humantong si Rina sa ganitong edad ay nag-request na siya sa magulang niya na gusto niya ng sarili niya ring kwarto. Medyo nalungkot nga yung ina niya dahil lumalaki na talaga ang kanilang bulilit.

 

Pero meron pa rin talagang mga panahon na pupuntahan niya ang kaniyang mommy and daddy sa kabila kahit pa madaling araw na ito.

 

Katulad na lamang ngayon…

 

Tinignan nila ang kanilang pintuan at mahinang napatawa dahil naaaninagan nila ang isang mata ng anak na nakasilip na rito. Marunong na nga pala ‘tong magbukas ng pinto.

 

“Hey, baby.” Tumayo na ang kaniyang ama mula sa kama at pinuntahan na siya para buhatin.

 

“What happened?” Tanong ng kaniyang mommy nung nilagay na siya sa gitna ng mga magulang niya sa napakalaking kama.

 

She fidgeted her fingers and pouted. “I h-had a…nightmare.” Nagkatinginan agad ang mag-asawa at nagturuan pa sa kung sino ang magpapalubag sa loob ng kanilang anak. Elina mouthed ‘ikaw na’ dahil mas malapit ang loob ng anak nila sa daddy.

 

Her mom kasi is the disciplinarian whilst si Daddy naman niya yung supportive sa kung anong gusto niya. Anything for his princess daw kasi.

 

Wala rin namang choice si Karl kundi pagaanin ang loob ng kaniyang minamahal na chikiting. Kahit naman na pagod na siya dahil galing siya sa trabaho, he’d still be willing to lighten up his daughter’s mood.

 

“Tell Daddy what happened sa nightmare mo, anak.” He told her softly habang hinahagod ang ulo ng anak. He even gives light kisses sa forehead nito.

 

“It was scary… Mommy was gone and Daddy didn’t want to buy me toys.” Napangiti naman ang mag-asawa rito dahil alam nilang hindi ito kailanman mangyayari.

 

“Where did mommy go?” Sumali naman sa usapan si Elina para iparamdam sa anak na nandito pa rin siya at hinding-hindi mawawala.

 

Successful naman yung pagsali niya dahil tinignan siya ng anak at mukhang napanatag ito na nandiyan ang kaniyang ina sa harap niya. “I don’t know.” She’s shaking her head slowly; showing innocence.

 

“Well.” Binuhat siya ulit ng kaniyang daddy para paupuin ito sa kandungan niya. “Sorry to say missie but you will get every toy that you want plus; mommy will always be here for you!” He tapped his daughter’s nose and finally, she let out a beautiful giggle.

 

Ganito lang kabilis pagaanin ang loob ni Rina. As long as she feels the love that her parents give her, she’s content.

 

“Hala mommy! I heard that someone’s birthday is getting near. Hmm. I wonder kaninong birthday ‘yon?” Daddy Karl acted out. He’s goofing around already kasi alam na niyang nakapag recharge na yung bata na naka kandong sa kaniya.

 

“Oh really? Sino kaya? Should we buy her presents na Dad?” Lumalaki laki pa yung mata ng dalawa, showing na parang wala talaga silang alam.

 

Yung maliit na bata ay malawak na yung ngiti.

 

She jumped from her father’s lap papunta sa gitna ng bed. “It’s me! It’s my birthday mommy and daddy!”

 

“It’s our Rina’s birthday! Come here!” Tinadtad na nila ang kanilang anak ng napakaraming halik at kiliti. Tuwang-tuwa naman silang marinig ang tawa nito na siyang musika sa kanilang mga tenga.

 

“How about we make a birthday card? You put your wish and you write kung anong gusto mo na gift for your birthday, baby.” Suggestion ni Mommy E.

 

She likes to teach their daughter basic learnings like writing, coloring, drawing. It’s her love language.

 

Kinuha na agad ni Daddy K ang mga materyals na gagamitin para mabuo ang birthday letter ni Rina. He checked if nandiyan na yung paboritong lapis ni Rina, yung 48 crayons set niya, crafting paper, at mga gamit pang-art.

 

They started doing the letter; Rina was the one writing tapos si mommy niya naman yung guide while si Daddy yung naggugupit ng shapes para pang-design sa card niya. They reminded Rina na ilagay lang kung ano yung gusto niya kasi she will have it on her birthday.

 

Wala pang isang oras sa paggawa ay nakadapa na si Rina sa sahig ng kwarto. Hinihigaan niya na yung almost finished na birthday card niya. “Napagod na ata.” Mommy Elina said while giggling.

 

Daddy Karl transferred Rina sa bed nila habang si Mommy naman yung naglinis ng kalat.

 

Rina moved causing the two na maging cautious sa galaw nila pero huli na ang lahat. Their kid woke up again.

 

“Shhh. Go back to sleep love.” Hinahagod ng ama ang buhok ng kaniyang anak.

 

At para mas mabilis itong makabalik sa pagtulog ay kinantahan niya na lamang ito ng awitin.

 

sa paggising mo bukas - Ian Quiruz

Tutulog na ang baby ko
Siya'y maghapong pagod sa paglalaro
Kausap ang mga manikang
'Di naman gumagalaw at walang emosyon

 

Natawa si Elina dahil pinalitan ng asawa ang liriko. Para kasi ito sa mga batang lalake na kakagaling lang sa paglalaro. Gustong-gusto ito ni Karl na kantahin para sa anak.

 

Gumagana naman yung paghele ng ama dahil unti-unti nang pumipikit yung mga mata ni Karina. Humikab pa nga ito bago isiniksik ang ulo sa leeg ng ama.

 

He hugged her and kept tapping her back para mas antukin pa ang bata.

 

Pero kahit gano'n ay mahalaga
Na malaman niyang mahal na mahal ko siya

Sa paggising mo bukas ay may pasalubong akong Jollibee
At paggising mo bukas ay bibilhin natin ang favorite mong toy doll

 

“Ayusin mo naman ang pagkanta mo.” Pang-aasar ni Elina.

 

Ang totoo niyan she loves it when her husband sings for their child.

 

Noon kasi, kahit mag-jowa pa lang sila ay never talagang kumanta ang lalake dahil hindi ito confident sa kaniyang talento. Pero nung isang araw, tumigil sa pag-iyak at nakatulog si baby Rina dahil sa kaniyang pagkanta. Sobrang proud siya non kung kaya't kumakanta lamang siya kapag ang anak niya ang nagrerequest.

 

“Shh!” Pabiro niya ring pinatahimik ang asawa at itinuro yung humihilik na nilang anak.

 

Tumawa na lang sila at nagkatinginan. Their eyes are saying the words they want to tell each other; I love you.

 

These are the moments that they would ask kung ano bang ginawa nila to deserve such a wonderful life? To be blessed by a bundle of joy na perfect combination ng pagkatao nilang dalawa.

 

Hindi nga nila lubos maisip na hahantong sila sa ganito, pagkatapos ng lahat ng pagsubok at hirap na pinagdaanan nila; makakabuo sila ng masaya at simpleng pamilya.

 

Even if that consists their little girl waking them up anytime time of the day.

 

Kahit madaling araw pa ‘yan at kahit malakas pa ang kulob at ulan, basta’t masaya ang kanilang pinakamamahal na anak, buong-buo na ang kanilang mga puso.

 

 

Rina’s Birthday Card!

 

It’s my birthday soon! I want a pet shark or a baby crocodile!

I also wish for Mommy to always be by my side and Daddy to buy me lots and lots of toys!

You know, I saw my classmate receive a medal earlier. Can I have that too?

 

Sincerely, K

[END OF FLASHBACK]

 

 

“She’s still fond of birthdays and the holidays, El.” Karl chuckled dahil naalala niya yung reaction si Karina nung niregaluhan niya ito ng shark and crocodile plushies last year. His daughter would never shut up dahil sobrang lambot daw nito. Up until now, if you’ll enter Rina’s room; yung dalawang plushies ang bubungad sayo.

 

She’s that appreciative when it comes to heartily-given gifts.

 

Elina looked at him softly – portraying her silent gratitude to the man who raised their daughter who turned out be an amazing human-being. “I couldn’t apologize and thank you enough, Karl. You did really well in raising her.”

 

Karl proudly smiled in return as if replying that it is his responsibility because it’s his child. 

 

"Nah. She did most of the job for me. Napaka-independent non." He laughed dahil all he did was support Karina all throughout her journey. He never wanted to take the praise kasi Karina is always self-taught.

 

“I-I want to hug her again, Karl” She sobbed in front of her husband. Karl immediately opened his arms and went to hug his wife. This is all he could give…for now.

 

Naging emosyonal rin siya dahil hindi siya sinisi o ano man ng kaniyang anak. Nagalit lang ito pero she never blamed her dad kung bakit nagkaganito na lahat.

 

Pagkatapos kasi siyang i-contact ng asawa ay agad niya itong pinuntahan at kinausap. Makalipas ang ilang taon ng walang paramdam at pag-uusap, tinanggap niya pa rin si Elina.

 

Tinatatak niya rin kasi sa isip na siya rin naman ang tumulak na sundin ng asawa ang kaniyang mga pangarap.

 

Mahal niya pa ba?

 

Oo, sobra…

 

He owes it to Elina kung bakit mayroon siya ngayong Karina dahil siya ang nagbigay buhay dito. Kaya nung oras na nagparamdam ito, binalewala niya yung kaniyang sariling nararamdaman dahil iniisip niya ang kaniyan