sixteen

 

I rose to my feet without meaning to, watching Prince Baekhyun exit the pavilion, his decorative hanbok billowing behind him like a tail. I wanted to follow him but his exit was only received with the pomp and circumstance of music to signal that one of the royals was about to address up. I had only taken a few steps towards the door when there was a drop in the music.

 

The silence had startled my feet to freeze in place.

 

Prince Junmyeon stood at the head table thanking everyone for attending. I swore under my breath that if I were to get in trouble for not paying attention, it was no fault but my own.

 

He inhaled, “I believe we have had a very cheerful two weeks that we’ve spent together in harmony, and I hope that the rest of your stay is as equally full in spirit. I want to give a toast…”

 

I stood far back from the party, near the thick pillars of the pavilion where the entrance was, hiding behind the pillars to slowly inch back towards the foot bridge. I could see Prince Baekhyun pacing around if I craned my neck just enough.

 

He was troubled.

 

I picked up my skirt a bit to help my quickening feet. I had almost reached the entrance, peeking around the guard to find Baekhyun pause his pent-up energy. It was almost as if he sensed my presence.

 

“… it is truly humbling to be honored in such a way that not only celebrates me but as well as my family…”

 

Prince Baekhyun glanced back into the Pavilion, unable to notice me peeking out.

 

“… it a privileged to announce that…”

 

“Baekhyun.” I whispered out to him. His eyes ripped off his brother and landed on me. It was only then when I felt a deep unsettling hole in my stomach witnessing the pained expression on his face.

 

“… that my brother, The Third Prince,” Prince Junmyeon continued. The mention of his brother caugtmy attention. I found myself turning back to find Prince Junmyeon holding up his cup, void of emotion.

 

It was like someone had robbed Prince Junmyeon of his character. It was a stark difference from last night and I felt the weight fall on me before my world had even collapse. Even then I wasn’t entirely clueless. I knew what was about to happen even if it didn’t registered in my head as complete thought.

 

My body knew.

 

I closed my eyes and braced myself preparing for the blow.

 

“Will begin his courtship to The Duchess, Lady…”

 

I felt the air escape my lips as I twisted back to Prince Baekhyun who flinched upon hearing the news that he undoubtedly must have just learned for himself.

 

The Crowned Prince gulped, “…Lady Ara.”

 

There was a stunned silence as the news rippled through the crowd. The favored Duchess Binna, who I abhorred, was sitting close to the head table with her family. She had turned her decorated head slowly to her right where her younger sister was sitting, equally as speechless.

 

This was unexpected. It was obvious.

 

Then the slow claps began from the guest who didn’t know exactly how to proceed, congratulating the news of a new bond.

 

Prince Baekhyun standing at the foot bridge glanced at me, his expression was hard to read but it certainly wasn’t as heated as before. He was confused as he slowly made his way back inside. He walked past me and stood at the center of the dance floor looking at his brother. The King and Queen who were seated in a most elegant table to the side had risen to their feet.

 

It was news that not even the highest of royals had expected. I couldn’t feel my own breathing when Prince Junmyeon observed his audience.

 

I could see his apology flash through his eyes as he gazed over at me but it wasn’t enough.

 

I hadn’t imagined that it would feel so upset, it felt almost uncontrollable. It was no state to be in as Baekhyun approached the Duchess Ara.

 

I took the moment to dismiss myself, feeling the welling of hot tears. My lungs felt erratic as I felt my feet quickened, visioned blurred as I tried to get away without being noticed. I don’t know how or why I managed my find my way over to the garden’s fountain.

 

It felt safe from prying eyes while I tried to make sense of my crumbling world.

 

It had also been same place I been scolded by the Queen.

 

I felt a deep scowl etched on my face as my dead weight sat itself at the edge of the pool, staring harshly at the koi fish swimming in elegant circles. My hands wiped roughly at my cheeks, to wipe away the remaining tears.

 

I suppose I was silly to enjoy his bliss so much so that it blinded me from the realities.

 

We knew.

 

We both had our separate responsibilities we were born with and we even agreed to keep a platonic relationship.

 

I sniffed, “Stupid Baekhyun.”

 

I thought of all the ways he had annoyed me and of all the ways he had charmed me into a paradise only possible to reach with him, but all I could feel is the shredding of my heart burning a flash of pain through my skin.

 

“Stupid me.”

 

I felt a wave of torment and I clutched my chest, squeezing the last few tears as I let out a soft sob.

 

“S-stupid tiger,” I sputtered out, “I wish it would have just killed me. I can’t withstand this.”

 

My breathing was still shaky and my face raw with the salt of the tears. I felt at ease to express my discontent the way I wanted to until my peace his disturbed by no other than my brother who stood at the mouth of the entrance.

 

When I noticed him, as embarrassed as I was being caught with my emotions, there was no use in trying to hide them now.

 

I sniffed and gulped down a knot at my throat, “Dear brother, you left the party.”

 

“As did you,” He pointed out, standing stiffly in his spot.

 

“I didn’t mean to cause alarm,” I blinked rapidly as if it would help with my crying, “Give me a moment to collect myself. I know how you hate when I bring too much attention to us.”

 

Jongdae cleared his throat, “I came here to apologize.”

 

I kneaded my hands together, taking note that my beautiful dress now had dark drops of tears stains on my lap, “What for?”

 

My brother paused, taking time to form his response.

 

He began, “Yesterday Prince Junmyeon discussed the closeness between you and Prince Baekhyun with me. We came to a certain decision that night before we were both called into the King and Queen’s morning tea, to confirm a report…”

 

I blinked rapidly, “What do you mean?”

 

“I’m afraid that it is no longer mere speculation of your closeness to the Third Prince sister. You and the Prince were seen in a very compromising action at the stables.” Jongdae closed his eyes, “As much as I’ve tried to warn you to be careful, Kaira, this is something that I couldn’t defend or diminish in seriousness. The Queen was beyond her rage this morning and to keep our family in her favor I made her a promise.”

 

“I don’t understand.” I hiccupped out, sitting helplessly as my life was unraveling in front of me.

 

“I told her you would be betrothed by the end of this month,” He admitted, “So that you wouldn’t be punished with a banishment.”

 

I squeezed my eyes shut.

 

“Brother…”

 

I could hear his voice shake, “When that wasn’t enough to calm her, Prince Junmyeon offered to use his Honoring to announce a union for Baekhyun. As you could imagine, the King was delighted to hear of the news.”

 

I stayed silent for a long time, digesting the truth that had been revealed. I didn’t know how it was possible to be so happy a few hours ago to feeling so close to a death that ripped my emotions apart with no mercy.

 

I gripped on to the edge of the pool to steady myself. My world was spinning. Why was it spinning?

 

“What use was it to save the cherished Prince?” I asked, sending a glare at my brother, “What use is it to be praised for bravery when I have endured the last years of my formable youth without my family. Without any care or concern for my well-being, trusted that I was carefully looked after because it was royally mandated. I was imprisoned, admitted by the Queen herself. And what for? Why do I have to live this way when I could have just died?”

 

Jongdae pressed his lips together.

 

I continued, “Then you and Mother and Father would have led a better life without having to think about what to do with me. Stubborn me. Lonesome me. Troublesome me.”

 

A fresh wave of tears came over me, a shaky breathe rattling my weak chest.

 

“Sister,” His voice squeezed out, “I am trying my best.”

 

“Then have me banish brother,” I shook my head, “It’s what I deserve, don’t I? For having a bit of happiness. It was too much to ask for wasn’t it?”

 

Jongdae’s face twisted around no longer resembling his stern self. It was like we were both children facing punishment.

 

“I don’t want you to go!” He shouted. It caught my attention, almost pushing me out of my own unhappiness. I felt my tears slow as I focused on him. “You are the only thing I recognize of who I am and if you’re gone, then I how can I know without the constant reminder?”

 

“You survived almost a decade,” I pointed out, sniffing.

 

Jongdae was red in the face, “I assume you think I had it easy. It was never easy living in your shadow.”

 

I waited for him to continue.

 

He gulped, “When you returned, do you know how hard it was to continue my misled distain for you? My pure and humble sister was the most annoying person I could have come across on and I couldn’t find the will to resent you. You were so undeterred by any of the luxuries we’ve accumulated and grounded. Your presence reminds me of how truly ridiculous the world we live in is and how much I miss what we had before. I refused to have you sent away.”

 

“Offering me to keep this life now doesn’t seem like a true reflection of what you say,” I frowned cocking my head.

 

Jongdae’s chin quivered, a family trait when we were on the verge of tears. Luckily for him, he kept it together. “I offered my sister’s happiness out of my own selfishness, yes, but it was also to protect you. You’ve fallen out of their favor, something the King and Queen will probably never publicly admit.”

 

I sat still for a moment as I tried to ground myself after a few breaths. When I looked back at my brother, his face was contorted in pain.

 

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I must bring it up now. About that one suitor,” He painfully began, “I would still like for you to meet him, officially.”

 

Of course, there is no time to waste. Jongdae looked back to beckon the person waiting in the shadows. I nearly crumbled in embarrassment to have no time to collect myself.

 

And this be the first impression of my suitor? I, heartbroken, was now expected to be courted by a stranger in hopes to marry as soon as possible. I’m not sure how accepting he would be of a bride still recovering from a painful matter of the heart.

 

I rubbed eyes to ensure I had gotten rid of any wetness. I blinked rapidly once Prince Baekhyun appeared sheepishly behind my brother. I felt like I was hallucinating. Baekhyun nervously rubbed his hands together as the confusion got the best of me.

 

“I don’t understand.” I sniffed.

 

Jongdae closed his eyes, inhaling to keep his cool, “Last night when the Prince returned he insisted to be a suitor, your only suitor, as he admitted that he had tarnished your name. Prince Junmyeon and I thought it would be best to consider him your best option despite his promises that nothing salacious occurred, to which I hold my trust on.”
 

“I promise nothing more occurred,” Prince Baekhyun glanced at me full of regret for reeling me into such a tangle of a plot.

Jongdae cleared his throat, sending a well-deserved glare from him, “His Highness did mention there was a bit of carelessness in your displays of affection. It proved to be true considering the King and Queen’s concerns this morning. ”

 

Prince Baekhyun took a step forward, “Any word of our indecencies will spread around fast through our servants. It was what my brother pointed out when he saw it best to use his Honoring to announce a courtship to the Jol Family. The Jol’s will not be pleased with any kind of rumor that diminishes their reason for their stay.”

 

“Considering the early morning report certainly created an obstacle, the Prince and I’s acceptance of your bond had to be reworked,” Jongdae continued to explain to Prince Baekhyun, “As you may imagine, the announcement complicates things but I will keep my word with the Queen, as I imagine Prince Junmyeon…”

 

Baekhyun stepped in, “When I was made aware, I begged him not to. Not Binna, anyone but her.”

 

Prince Baekhyun quickly crossed over to me and sat at my side, “I apologize that you found out in such a manner. As I promised, I will do anything in my power-”

 

I stopped him, “You don’t have to.”

 

The two men questioned me silently as I began to calculate a plan.

 

“Brother,” I began controlling the growing confidence written over my face, “Are you willing to do me a favor in exchange?”

 

My brother perked up, surprised that I hadn’t succumbed to my shaky fate as easily as I had.

 

“What is it?” He asked.

 

I paused thinking of the information I had gathered earlier that day. I felt a hardening around my heart as I watched his face analyze mine. I controlled my quivering lower lip.

 

“Do you know of Minseok and his sister? Miss Eungyo?” I began. There was a memory that flashed across his eyes as he recalled the name.

 

He nodded once to respond.

 

My lids closed, “Court her.”

 

“What?” He quietly said. My face twisted as I knew what I was asking of him.

 

I gave him a knowing look, “Get close with Eungyo.”

 

He looked panic unable to realize what was going on.

 

“Why?” He inquired. I finally had enough strength to find my footing, standing back up. I had hoped my eyes were not too red to return to the party. I approached my brother and repeated what I had asked.

 

“Court her,” I insisted, “I will tell you in due time.”

 

“Will you not tell me now?”

 

“Not until I speak to father!”

 

Before I could even reach two steps out of the garden fountain determined to rejoin the Honoring once more, I was pulled away from the old beaten path into the woods that bordered the path by none other than Prince Baekhyun. We watched my brother give us a warning look as he walked back to the pavilion. Baekhyun responded with a nod and turned to me, pinning lightly against a tree.

 

He stood there mumbling out half sentences, trying his best to apologize and looking broken every time he looked at me.

 

“I promised-” He gulped.

 

“I didn’t-” He began.

 

His face twisted in pain, “I’m sorry.”

 

His hands held my shoulders firmly in place as if he was scared I would run off and refuse to see him again. He took a couple of shaky breaths as he controlled his racing mind.

 

“What is done, is done,” I whispered out much to his crumbling faith, all while mine was rebuilding its foundations, “Please obey your parents for now.”

 

“How can I?” He began to explain, “Where will you fit in my life if you are supposed to be married and I’m courting the Duchess with the visions of you with another?”

 

I felt the stinging of fresh new tears in my raw eyes. I quickly blinked back to avoid crying again.

 

I nodded, “It was this or be banished. There was not much we can do for now.”

 

We stayed silent but Baekhyun kept shaking his head in denial. He couldn’t accept it.

 

“I said I’ll do whatever it takes.” He repeated, “And I’ve already failed.”

 

“Your Highness,” I blinked interrupting his solemn apology, “Whatever came of your father’s investigation years ago?”

 

“What do you mean? What investigation?” Baekhyun asked, looking thoroughly confused.

 

I felt a pang of suspicion growing in me as I thought about a few new details that had surfaced in the past hours.  

 

“Being back in the palace, I felt a flood of memories I hadn’t thought of in a long time,” I press my lips together as Baekhyun’s face gave way to more confusion, “I was there when your father, The King, told my family that the tigers in the garden were a cause of suspicion and he urged to keep them alive.”

 

“What does this have to do with anything, Kaira,” Baekhyun voiced wavered, he was losing a bit of hope.  

 

I suddenly became firm in my thoughts, “Did they ever find out who released them into the garden?”

 

“Released?” Baekhyun furrowed his brows, “Why would anyone intentionally release tigers into the gard-”

 

“A heavily guard palace and two healthy tigers just happen to sneak by all the guards?” I titled my head down, “If our secret meetings were spotted how on earth were two tigers missed? Why hasn’t this been addressed?”

 

Baekhyun let out a few shaky breathes, “Why does that matter at all? I’m about to lose you and you’re thinking of tigers?”

 

“Do you trust me?” I interjected.

 

The Prince closed his eyes painfully but he nodded his head, slowly but surely. I gave him a quick peck on his forehead. I felt an undying adoration for the man I was about to break.

 

“Then continue your courtship with Lady Ara.” I instructed.

 

“What?” His eyes snapped open, and he incredulously began to shake his head, “No.”

 

I repeated, “Do you trust me?”

 

Baekhyun was broken as I tested his limitations as I had, “Yes! But, I don’t understand. I can't-”

 

He took my hands into his and raise them up to his lips. He placed a hesitant kiss on the back on my hands and allowed his head to fall to the side, feeling defeated. It was hurting him the longer I didn’t explain.

 

“Your Highness,” I began.

 

“Yours, I am yours,” He frowned.

 

I sighed feeling the revival of my heart, “I must let you know that if I fail, I might not be able to see you ever again.”

 

“You’re scaring me Kaira. Whatever you are planning,” He lowered his gaze placing me in a dizzying spell, “You cannot do it alone.”

 

I looked around for a moment, pushed out of my trance and back into my heighten suspicions that we were possibly being watched.

 

“Will you tell me?” He asked gently, tilting my chin up at him with his pointer finger.

 

“Only if I could hear your sweet words,” I said embarrassed that it was my only condition.

 

His face softened cupping my face, pressing his forehead down onto mine, “If that’s all it takes to please The Tigress.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT WAIT. There's more to unravel. :) Stay tuned.