“I didn’t forget.”

That’s what he said to her, over a month ago. In just a month, a lot of things have changed.

“Who are you?”

That’s the first thing he said to her upon meeting her again. 

“Nah. I’m kidding. It’s good to see you again. I missed you.”

Stop lying to yourself.

That’s what she expected to be greeted with. It’s wrong. It wasn’t. She hoped it was. She hoped he would say it. She missed him. She missed his jokes, even the lamest one. She missed his teasing. It is gone now. Reduced to memories. Only to their memories, not his. He had forgotten.

Maybe the change didn’t take a month. Maybe it was just a second or even a millisecond. In just that single millisecond, memories of a lifetime had vanished. Experiences treasured by him, had vanished. It’s gone. Nothing. Memories have vanished. Memories were burned, reduced to ash, where we all started to begin with.

A person who once remembered had forgotten.

He didn’t forget, he said. In just a millisecond, he did.

“Oh Yeri you’re here!” 

Jaehyun? Oh it’s just Mark.

No, it wasn’t Jaehyun. Of course she wishes it was him, but she can’t deny it. Mark’s and Jaehyun’s voices are really different.

Mark somehow managed to overcome his situation mentally because of the help of his visitors. He is frequented by Mina, Koeun, and Donghyuck. Right now, he was sitting in the wheelchair, and Donghyuck was the one who helped him with it.

“That’s your name? You are Yeri right?” She never thought he would hear it from him again.

Looking back, their first known meeting was . Started with BI almost running his car into him because he pretended he was dead in order to get to the hospital to find Jungkook. It was stupid. Very stupid. 

Then they coincidentally met again in the mall. She chased him asking for a refund, and then he joked about it. Next they met because of Mark who wanted someone to hide his alcoholic drinks. The next time they met was during Valentine’s, his birthday where they both learnt that they’ll be marrying each other. 

 It is like the universe is writing an obvious story for the both of them. Too many coincidences. Too many crossed paths. Was it just a coincidence or a destiny?

Or it wasn’t at all. These two have known each other before, but one had forgotten, and the other one was left to remember. Surely, they are probably destined to meet again, and they did. But was it destiny?

From the moment they met again, did thousands of future generations were formed in that one meeting? Did the future change because they met or are they destined to meet? Was it because of their choices or because of their fates?

Were they the ones who created their own destiny or were they unknowingly following the script of the universe?

If they were indeed following the path that the universe wanted to take, then they both didn’t expect this. On a journey, one may encounter obstacles. For example, a hiker may encounter a snake in their way, and it has an option whether to confront it or not. In this case, it is rather unclear whether they will make the decisions themselves or whether they were just following what the universe wanted them to. 

Free will is the idea that people are the authors of their own destiny. Whatever decisions they make, it is up to them.

However, free will is an illusion. It is simply a visualization of events that the brain has already set in motion. There were studies which showed that people had subconsciously made a decision before consciously choosing it. It tells you what the brain has decided to do. 

Did the great architect of the universe do this? Did the universe set them up to meet each other? If yes, then here’s another question? What would their ending be?

This isn’t an ending. Rather it was a new beginning. Jaehyun started anew, back to zero. It was a permanent damage to his frontal lobe, which controls the memory, emotions, and more. There’s no turning back. It is like reformatting your phone or starting the game all over again. Permanently back to square one.

She didn’t answer his question. Instead, she went out.

Outside, her friend, Saeron was waiting for her.

“Did you know about this?”

“Yeah, Aeri told me.”

“So you know about this then choose it for me.”

“Would you like me to lie instead?”

She is silent. She can’t say no or yes. Just silence. The best answer for things you don’t have an answer to.

“Would you rather be comforted by a lie or confronted by the truth?”

Truth hurts. 

“I can’t lie to you. Even if it is for your good. Even if it is a white lie.”

A white lie. A white liar.

“Look, you can’t hide from the lies anymore. The truth is right there in front of our eyes. It is unfortunate, but do we have a choice?”

The danger of information. Ignorant bliss is mentally better than informed despair. A comforting lie is better than the harsh truth.

“We don’t have a choice, but we could fight to make the white lie into reality.”

That’s what she did throughout the whole story. She came here as an actress, but she subconsciously wanted to stay here. She did. She ended up staying here, but she was miserable. It is safe to say her life ed up because of lying.

“Even if it is impossible to turn the lie into a reality, we could still try.”

“Glad to hear you’re back.”

“It is funny, how we met each other at a hospital before I left. Now, we’re here again. At a hospital. History repeats itself.”

“Yeah history repeats itself, for you to learn something from it and change its course.”

The door suddenly opened and both Mark and Donghyuck went out from it.

“It was a severe retrograde amnesia caused by a head injury. He had forgotten most of his life, including us. Back to square one. During his first weeks, it was hard for him to form new memories.”

It doesn’t matter even if I introduce myself to him again.

“I think he is actually doing better now. Maybe in a few years, he’ll be back to normal.”

Don’t give me hope.

“It was permanent though. The damage was so severe that memories can’t be recovered.”

I shouldn’t have hoped.

“I’m lowkey hurt that you visited him first before your own cousin. Nah I’m just joking. Anyway, Yeeun gave me this flash drive before she left. She said you should look at it.”

She received the flash drive and its connector from Mark.

“I haven’t looked at it so don’t ask me about the content.”

“Thanks.”

“Glad to see you’re now on your way to be okay.” 

Am I okay? I guess I’m doing better compared to yesterday. I guess I am okay. No. Maybe I was okay earlier, before I knew about it. I guess I’m still not okay, I felt worse. I don’t know. I should know. This is my self. I should know about it, but I don’t. I’m clueless. I don’t know my state.

Of course, it is hard to be okay after experiencing an impactful tragedy in just a month. Almost no one gets over it easily. It is easy to move on, but it is hard to do it. Even Mark, who seems fine isn’t actually fine. He is suffering, but he still tries to be glad, and to be thankful that he is alive.

 It is probably a good thing that he still isn’t aware of his brother’s death. Sometimes, being naïve is better than being knowledgeable.

This also happened to the rest of the Kims. They are still suffering over the tragic event. They are still far from recovering, but little by little they are doing it. Step by step, they are trying to fix themselves. It takes time and effort to heal.

“It is okay if you’re feeling negative right now. It doesn’t define you. I know that it is difficult right now and things can easily go wrong, but let’s think about what can go right.”

Things can go right.

He said that before he and Donghyuck left. As much as he wanted to apologize for dragging her in this mess, he figured out that he shouldn’t. It just goes back to blaming each other. Blaming themselves, and blaming one another. No one benefits from it. 

Sure, it releases the pent up guilt and frustration, but what happens next? A person would be hurt, you would be hurt. Everyone’s gonna suffer from this, not only you.

She realized it a little too late. She kept blaming herself, and blaming others for the event which made her like that. She can’t undo it. What she needs to do is to learn from it and move forward.

Move forward. We must keep moving forward.

As if the time is going to wait for us. No, we must continue moving forward to match the pace of time. By moving forward, we change. We are changing every day. We are not the same person who we used to be yesterday. We frequently shed skins, we didn’t eat the same food we had yesterday, we didn't think about the same things we had yesterday. We change every day. We unknowingly move forward every day.

 In physics, moving forward means changing position. Displacement is how far the object moved from its first position. Disappointing to students it may be, but physics is crucial in our life. Several concepts in physics are applicable to philosophy. Physics studies the laws of the universe, so why can’t it be applied to our personal life?

A symbol frequently seen in physics is a triangle. A triangle is not only a three sided and three angled shape. It is not only the first of the two dimensional shapes. It is also a symbol for delta, the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet. The symbol for change.

those people who told you you’ve changed. We are supposed to change. Even physics tells you that. Everything should keep changing in order to match the pace of time. Change is constant and you shouldn’t be constant.

She doesn’t want to be constant anymore. Gone are the days where she sulks in her house the whole day. She needs to change, to evolve into something far better than her current stage, but how is she going to do it?

Of course she needs to exert effort to change herself. She needs to start it; she can’t wait for a change to happen. Change is constant, but something is still required to cause it. Just like for fire, it needs fuel, oxygen and heat to light up. Things can’t happen randomly without any reason.

So she decided to move forward. It was just a simple connection of the flash drive to her phone which started a chain reaction which made her state evolve. However, was it for the better or for worse?

She started finding the file. It was a video. Oddly enough, it was titled “Confession”.

She was curious about its title. Why is Yeeun giving me this? What is this about?

Her questions would be answered once she watched it. The only thing which kept her from watching it was her fear. Fear that something about its contents would affect her.

Curiosity killed the cat, they say. The idiom has a double meaning, it is either you’re being so curious about a thing that harms you even know about it, or knowing about the thing you’re so curious about which eventually had bad effects for you.

Mostly it is the latter meaning. This is also the case for our protagonist today. She is in a dilemma of whether to open the file.

Curiosity leads her to uncover the secrets of the organization, the secrets of her friends, the secrets of her family, and the secrets of her past. Her curiosity leads her to this state, the state of constant pain and suffering. Her curiosity led Ilhoon to his death, Mark ton being paralyzed, her friends and cousins being traumatized, and Jaehyun losing his memory. Her curiosity is harmful.

It wasn’t her fault, but she doesn’t know that. Throughout the whole month, she kept on blaming herself. She blamed herself for the tragedy which unfolded a month ago. What she didn’t know is the effect on Jaehyun. Sure, she knows about him getting hurt, but this way is worse than that. It wasn’t only physical damage, but also mental damage. It wasn’t only him who was hurt. All the people around him were hurt,