Part of the healing process is waiting. Sure, the healing or the reward will come, but it takes time. Sometimes, it is quick, sometimes it is too long. 

Waiting is a boring process. It is a stalemate; you can't do anything in the meantime. You can't win, and you can't lose. 

Waiting became a pain of its own. It forced people to look for solutions to hasten up the healing time. However, once you do this, there are only two options: do it in a good way or in a bad way. 

The concept of good and bad was created by humans, not by God himself. It was made to differentiate what benefits people, and what harms them.

However, the line between the two is very, very blurred. Such times, doing bad can be justified that it is actually for the good, and vice versa.

This ethical dilemma is a favourite of pop culture. It was the main theme of the anime, Death Note, where the protagonist, Light, kills a criminal for justice. 

Of course, he is not the only one who does that. The organization of White Liars is centred on that one value. Kill to protect. 

It was the organization's mission. Sacrifice someone for the benefit of all. It was indeed a hit man or a task force agency, but it is not a simple one. They have high respect for their central moral values. They won't kill sinful persons unless they are sinful enough. They became the judge between the supposed good and evil. 

Just like their name, they lie to themselves for justice. They are lying to themselves that they did the right thing.

Were they really lying to themselves? Are they doing the right thing? 

If you kill bad people, are you a good person or a bad person? This is similar to the meme: 'If Satan punishes bad people, is he a good person?' (Actually, the meme was wrong since the devil doesn't punish those in hell; he was also one of those being punished.)  

Another example would be, stealing something as it is the only way to eat? Stealing is also a crime, just like killing, but most people would probably find it easier to justify this one as it is the lesser between the two crimes. 

Until when can we justify such situations? Such is the dilemma of our protagonist. She killed someone, in order for her and the others to live. She killed a person for the safety of the many. It only needs one person to sacrifice for the safety of the many. Is it truly fine to sacrifice one person for others? 

Presented above is the famous trolley problem. In this problem, you'll be given a chance to save either a person or a group of people. What you won't choose would end up dying. 

Of course, many would value the lives of many compared to just one. Is it really okay? What if you value that person's life above the others? 

What is the value of a human's life? Do some have a greater value than others? Or are we all equal? 

All humans are said to have been created equal. Of course, this could easily be debunked. The value of a person's life depends on the perspective. They love that person; they value him more than the group of person they hate. Value is subjective, as all things are. 

How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your goal? 

Does your sacrifice and goal have the same value? 

As said from above, it is pretty subjective. To others, it seems that the sacrifice might seem to be more valuable than the end goal, which leads to disappointment. The opposite could also happen where the sacrifice doesn't have that much value compared to the goal. 

Does sacrificing an entire organization produce a valuable benefit to most? 

To Mark, it is a yes. 

He is determined to destroy an entire organization in order to save the lives of the many. Was it though? 

As mentioned above, the goal of White Liars is to become the greater evil in order to destroy the other evils. By preventing them from doing their job, it is possible that more people would be harmed. 

White Liars kill the supposed oppressors. When there is no one to kill the oppressor, what would happen to the oppressed? Will they continue to be oppressed? 

Mark was informed about the organization's goal by Seonghwa, yet he still decided to take them down. Killing the greater evil, and letting the lesser evil thrive, is he a good person or a bad one? 

How about our protagonist? Aside from choosing to kill for the safety of others, she also encountered the same value problem in the past. She chose Sooyoung over the Minjeong's sanity. Was it right to do that? 

She destroyed a person's sanity just to make sure the other was safe. Does Minjeong's sanity have the same value as Sooyoung's life? Actually, it wasn't just sanity that she was destroying; it was the whole life of a person. 

The consequence of an action can be considered as one of the sacrifices to attain a goal. In this case, the consequence was destroying Minjeong's life, and affecting the persons beside her. She exposed her to truth which ended up scarring her mentality, and eventually affected those who are around her. It was to make sure that Sooyoung is safe.

Does Minjeong have the same value as Sooyoung to our protagonist? No. She barely knew her. Sure, she talked to her a couple of times and they even practiced volleyball together, but Minjeong doesn't have the same value as Sooyoung. 

The thing is, she didn't decide Minjeong's fate from her perspective. She did it from the perspective of the organization. 

Minjeong is valued at the organization since most of her family were members. She was not aware of her family's doing, was it right for her to be the one who's suffering? 

Was it the right choice? 

Is our protagonist a good person or a bad one? When can you be considered as a good person or a bad one? What are the criteria for the two? 

The thing is, good and evil is a subjective concept. It was created by humans. There is no way to measure one's evilness or goodness. It is difficult to judge whether a person is good or evil. This is opposed to the goal of the White Liars, when they became the judge between the two factions. 

This was a false dichotomy. There are more than two factions. 

Good and evil isn't a switch that you cannot turn on or off, it is a lever which can be adjusted at the preferred value. 

It wasn't just black and white; there is a space of gray in between.

Hopefully, she knows that. Unfortunately, she didn’t.

She was engulfed by this problem, seeing Mark’s way as the only solution to redeem herself.

 She did wrong, but it was the only way to save the others. She is willing to do it again to save the future victims of the organization.

Tuesday came and she returned to her university. Of course multiple questions about her absence were asked, and she just used the sick leave excuse. It seems that everyone believes it. 

It is mostly true. She is really sick. It’s not the physical kind of sickness. It is the sickness of the mind. This should be considered as a valid reason for absences, as our mind is still part of our physical body. This means that being on a sick leave due to mental health should be accepted.

It was not even twenty four hours since she learned about Mark. It was not even forty eight hours since she learned about her past. It can be predicted that on this day, she would still be on a mental break. But no, she isn’t. 

Her face doesn’t seem to be from someone who just learnt two big lies, just yesterday and the day before. She feels different from her usual self, and it wasn’t on the negative side. She smiles almost all day, even at Donghyuck’s lame jokes. This was really unlikely as she would probably reply with savagery and would ignore him. She didn’t. She laughs at it. 

Her aura was too bright to be real. Too good to be true.

This was actually Mark’s fault. Yesterday, after their meeting at the café, he asked her one thing. 

“Let’s act normally tomorrow. If you don’t want your secret to be out, don’t show your real emotions. Once they sensed that something is wrong, our plan would likely fail.”

She did it wrong though. This wasn’t her normal self. She did what she thought she would do. It wasn’t. She wasn’t acting like herself anymore. It was as if she was possessed by someone. 

She doesn’t know herself anymore.

She had forgotten who she was before she learned the truth, just like how she forgot about her old life.

She may have forgotten about her old self, but at least the others remember it. Those who remembered it may think about what could possibly cause her change of personality. 

“Hey, why are you so loud today? Was serotonin part of your medicine?” Donghyuck asked.

They would be just curious, but they won’t be bothered.  There are few exceptions though. 

Mark is obviously one of those who are disturbed by her change. He’s been acting normally for years after he discovered what happened to his family.  His acting became the new normal for his personality. Like her, he forgot what his personality was before. Now, he became her mentor regarding acting normally.

He is disturbed since she changed her personality. This would ruin his plan. 

A change in personality hints that there is something wrong. Close friends would notice it. That’s what he’s scared about. He doesn’t want others to be curious as to why her personality changed. Curiosity killed the cat. Their curiosity would endanger his plan. Once people asked her about it, there was a chance that she would tell them. Once they know, it is unsure whether they will be a friend or foe to Mark and his plan.

Of course, he confronted her about it.

“I thought we agreed yesterday that we would act normally?”

“I think I acted normally.”

“You don’t. Even Donghyuck noticed your change.”

“What should I do?”

“Act like you did before.”

“I’m not sure how I behaved before.”

“Try to think about it. Aside from that, I think you’re really conscious of how you behave. Relax. Try to forget about it.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Okay how about this. Just forget that I ordered you to act normally. That might help.”

Spoiler alert, it kinda didn’t. A day passed and she’s still a little bit conscious about it. When she gets reminded of being conscious, she tries to switch back to her supposed original behaviour, which she fails to do. She can’t remember what she used to be like. She ended up as a silent, emotionless person during this phase. As she didn't have an answer, she ended up in silence. 

Of course this didn’t escape the awareness of people close to her. Aeri tried to contact her since Monday. She answered her during the times she contacted me. She had the same answer every time.

“I’m busy with campaign preparations. I’ll just talk to you after this.”

Of course, Aeri sensed that she was hiding something, so she asked her again the next day. It was Thursday when she finally answered her.

“What was that information you discovered?”

Why is the tone of her voice different?

“It’s about Mark.”

“Ohhhh, I knew about this already.”

Oh, it must be Yeeun.

“Did Yeeun tell you about this?”

“No. Mark said it himself.”

What?

“I’ll call you later. I have a meeting for the campaign.”

What the ?

Hours later, Aeri decided to call back. In those hours in between the calls, she is extremely confused. Really, really confused.

“What do you mean Mark told you about it?”

“I can’t say it. It’s confidential.”

This is a different tone from earlier.

“What?”

The call ended leaving Aeri confused as to what the happened to her. She willingly shared it earlier, but then said that it was confidential. Like what the ? I mean she said it by herself then she promised me to tell it to her later. Why? Did she accidentally spill something that I wasn’t supposed to hear and take it back later? It could be, but it doesn’t seem like it. Her tone