WINTER'S POV

finally, it was time for my classes for the day. i walked to my first class alone, almost missing the presence that's usually always next to me. i miss her, but there is nothing i can do now. i already dropped the bomb but i don't regret it. i had to do something.

when i entered the building and made it to the room for my class, something caught my attention. as i walked in, my eyes caught to karina. unusually, there were all of these kids sitting around her, talking to her. her head swiveled, smiling lightly at all the kids around her as she tried to talk back to all of them.

unfortunately that caught me so off guard that i let go of the door slip away from my grip. i quickly turned, trying to catch the door before it slammed because the door to this room would slam if you'll not close it carefully. i failed, so the door slammed and i jumped even though i expected it. i turned around, seeing the whole room looking at me. there were other kids in the room, not talking to karina, but most of them were. i caught eyes with karina's as she just gave me the fakest small smile ever.

i try to ignore my embarrassment and quickly take a seat in the front of the class, at the end of the row. the professor came in minutes after, telling everyone to settle down. i glanced back at where karina was sitting, and she was talking fine with all the kids around her. why is she popular all of a sudden? was it because of the party? they probably want to see her half again.

i sighed, not knowing how i should feel. we are taking a break so i don't know if i expected to sit next to her in the classes we had together or not. i definitely, however, did not expect her to have all these.. new friends? all of these people who love her all of a sudden.

the class went by slow, considering i barely paid attention and was in my own world the whole time. i chewed on my pencil for a while, zoning out completely. college changed karina. the whole experience. i want her to have fun but not like this. not in this way.

the rest of my classes flew and i was very grateful for that. after the exhausted classes, i went straight to my dorm room. i wanted to text karina, but i also figured i shouldn't. i miss our daily starbucks drinks at the cafe before we went back to our rooms. she's one of the only really close people i have in my life.

i made it to my room and pulled out my key. i unlocked the door, pushing it open. the first thing i do is throw my key down on the dresser, but then i hear voices. i lift my head to see none other than my best friend and my roommate. ningning and yeji are sitting on my bed, now looking at me as they stopped talking.

"ningie, what are you doing here?" i asked as i throw my bag down and quickly go over to her. she opens her arms as i cling onto her, squeezing her as if i haven't seen her in years.

"it's hard to breathe when you're being squeezed like this." she let out as her voice seems to give out. i pulled away, chuckling lightly. she takes a deep breath and puts a finger under my chin, lifting my head up to look at her right in the eyes. "when you told me that you were taking a break, i knew i had to get here fast. yeji was just filling me in on some things but you, my dear, have a lot of explaining to do." she hits my cheek lightly and gives me a small smile. i sigh, glancing at yeji.

"hope you don't mind me telling her anything, just the minor details." she says, standing up from my bed and going over to hers. i shake my head, looking back at ningning.

"no problem. and yeah, i know." i scratch the back of my neck quickly, then lean in for another hug. she wraps her arms around me, rubbing my back in a comforting way. i have the greatest best friend. she knows the perfect times when i need her.

"are you okay?" ningning whispers in my ear. i shrug my shoulders, not letting go of her. i never want to let go of this hug. i don't want to face this worst nightmare i always knew deep down was a possibility.

"it's hard." i whispered back. "it ." i squeeze her shirt into fists, holding in everything.

"i know, i know." she keeps rubbing my neck, eventually bringing her hand to the top of my head to run her fingers through my hair.

"i leave you two alone. nice seeing you, ningning." we both pull away to yeji's voice. she gives me a smile before walking to the door.

"no um..we can go out to grab a drink. you stay here." i said to her quickly. she stops in her tracks.

"are you sure?" she asks. i nod confidently, not wanting her to have to leave her own room for us. and i'm kind of thirsty now anyway.

"you'll be okay in a public place?" ning asks behind me. i grab her hand, walking to the door as i grab my room key and my wallet.

"i went to my classes today..i can take anything." i chuckled again. ningning nods, smiling at me.

we bid bye to yeji and leave the room, walking down the hall to the elevator. we finally arrive at the popular cafe not far, going inside and taking a seat. i relax, looking around for a moment.

"i'll get your drink." my eyes lands on my bestfriend as she starts to get up from her seat. "i'll be right back."

"wait, are you sure?" i ask her, not really wanting her to pay for me.

"absolutely. stay put." she smiles at me before walking away towards the counter to order. deep down i'm glad she's doing such a sweet gesture for me because it means the world to me. she's my best friend. she'd never do anything to hurt me.

i zoned out, looking out the window of the cafe considering we are at a table right against it. i start to think about karina. no matter what, i can't help but think about her good qualities. her beauty, her love for me, her ability to give me fireworks even from just a glance.

but why..why would she lie to me? you don't lie to someone you love.

i've never lied to her. i love her. i love her too much. she's the love of my life and i hate being away from her. what if i'm never close to her again? what if we drift apart? we are just acquaintances soon enough.

"hey.." a voice snap me out of my thoughts. i look over and see ningning. she sets our drinks down and stands next to me. she wipes my cheeks with her thumb, and in that moment i realized i let some tears escape my eyes. of course. "you're okay..i'm here."

she messes with the hair on the top of my head before taking a seat, pushing my drink towards me. i sniff my nose and nod, lifting the drink up to my lips to take a sip. "thank you." i say to her.

she leans her chin on her palm as she leans on her elbow. "of course. now, if you're okay..talk to me." she takes a sip of her drink now, giving me that overprotective look.

"i'm okay." i wipe under my eyes again, making sure i'm all good. i wipe my palms on my thighs, trying to get rid of the sweat.

"i missed you." ningning says trying to soothe me, even though she actually meant that. i can't help but smile at her gently, taking a deep breath.

"she keeps lying to me." i spit out quickly. her face turns into confusion as she keeps a stern look on me. "just, everything i guess. i-i know she loves me but i don't know. i dont get it."

"lying?" she furrows her eyebrows more and more as the seconds go bye. i nod, opening my mouth to speak again.

"she told me she'd be careful about what she drinks and what she does at parties. she hasn't. and what hurt the most was she went to a party last night behind my back." i explained to her suddenly feeling almost sick again. i push my drink away, gulping as i lose eye contact with ningning. i like when she gets overprotective but i don't want her hate karina.

"behind your back? why would she ever think that would be a smart idea?" she almost chuckles, almost in disbelief. i shrug my shoulders, looking down at the table we are sitting at. "she..she doesn't really think you wouldn't find out, does she? i mean there are always pictures from those parties. but why even in the first place would she? you're understanding, you're not a pain in the ." ningning keeps talking, trying to make sense. she's right too, everything she's saying is just right.

"she knows i didn't want to go and that i didn't want her going either. but i didn't say no to her going, i'm not going to control her like that.." i said catching the girls eyes in front of me. she nods slowly. "she told me she was going to stay in for the ni