closing doors: two
INEVITABLE (KRYBER)amber wasn't in her best condition that night.
bloodshot eyes, stuffy nose, sore throat. hell, she still can't even stop crying up until now.
she sent krystal a bunch of messages after going home--apologizing and still giving her promises of making things work out.
none of those were seen.
she couldn't blame krystal for what happened. even amber herself knows it was her fault. she's being her usual self again, being too kind, considering the feelings of many people around her--of suzy and her family in particular--forgetting the fact that it is krystal whom she should be protecting.
she feels terrible for what happened. most of all, she hates herself for breaking her soulmate's heart.
---
she feels lifeless and empty.
she's dozing off from time to time, staring at nothingness and spacing out for minutes.
she sent her wife a message to take a cab home instead, telling suzy she's not feeling well.
while she's at home alone, she looks around the place, observing and absorbing every detail she can.
this has been her home for the past three--almost four--years. there were so many memories they shared here.
now that she's ready to let go, she finds it weird that her brain can only conjure the good memories they shared in that little space.
this place is her and suzy's home. but after tonight, it wouldn't be fitted to be called home anymore.
her heart drops at the thought.
it's not breaking up with suzy that bothers her. it's how she'll hurt her wife that worries her the most.
how can amber do that to the only woman she wanted to be with before, the one whom she promised forever through thick and thin, til death parts them?
krystal's right. even if she breaks it off with suzy tonight, amber's sure it won't make her happy knowing she broke her best friend's heart.
she would need time to fix her heart and put back the pieces together before offering it whole to krystal.
amber's certain telling the truth tonight would not only hurt suzy in the process, but it would surely wound herself as well.
---
"amber? what happened?" suzy immediately runs to her and cups her cheeks. "hey. what's wrong?"
the concerned look on suzy's face adds more to the ache amber's feeling.
"boo, what's the matter?" suzy asks when tears start to form in amber's eyes again.
amber sniffs and holds her wife's hands. "we... we need to talk..."
"about?"
amber runs her fingers on suzy's hand and holds their wedding band between her fingers. "about this."
suzy looks at her, confused. "w-what are you saying?"
amber's eyes darts around the room again. she inhales.
"i... i am a horrible person."
---
what happened after was a blur to amber.
it was definitely messy.
she couldn't remember how exactly she started it. everything seems to have flown out smoothly from her mind through .
she told suzy everything--the truth--right from the very start.
contrary to what she's expecting, suzy didn't cry. instead of breaking down, suzy snapped.
suzy's ring hits amber's face when the woman throws it at her.
after that, other things inside the house got thrown and scattered everywhere.
there were also screams. suzy swore and cursed amber--calling her names while hitting her repeatedly on her arm and chest.
amber had never seen her wife this mad before.
but she prefers it this way. she'd rather get hit and bruised than see suzy cry. she's willing to take the hurt if this would mean easing the pain suzy is feeling.
she didn't defend herself even if she got shoved and slapped. she stood on her spot, crying, letting suzy do what she wants.
she deserves every bit of it. this is all her fault.
"i swear you'll never get a single penny from me after the divorce!" suzy says, mad. there's no tinge of tears on her eyes. "i want you out of this house as soon as possible. and you better not take anything here except for your things!"
amber, who's eyes are now puffy, could only nod.
"you are the biggest mistake of my life!" suzy pushes her one last time before storming out of the place and slamming the door hard.
amber sits on the floor and hugs her knees.
---
her stomach growls, but amber's not in the mood to eat. it's past midnight. she just finished cleaning up their hou--
she just finished cleaning up suzy's place.
she packed her clothes and other personal stuff. she plans to leave everything, including the things given as a gift, either by suzy or her parents.
which includes the phone she's holding.
suzy gifted it to her last year for her birthday.
memories again. amber shakes her head because she's close to crying again.
she checks her phone one last time to distract herself. her messages to krystal earlier are still left unread.
hesitating, she presses the call button and puts the phone next to her ear.
there was no ring.
she guesses krystal logged out of her account again.
sighing, she deletes the app and puts the phone down next to her and suzy's rings.
she looks around the room once again, nostalgia overcoming her.
this could be the last day she'll step into this apartment. she's sure suzy's family will sell it--or have it rented--once suzy moves out.
amber takes one last deep breath before picking up her bag from the floor.
she leaves the car and house keys on the table, making sure to turn off the lights and lock the door before closing it.
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