closing doors: one
INEVITABLE (KRYBER)there was a buzz on her door.
krystal doesn't recall ordering for anything or having someone coming over. she plans to ignore it, but the buzzer is persistent.
irritated, krystal slightly opens her door to peek at the mystery buzzer. a paperbag was raised to her face, blocking her view.
"tteokbokki delivery!" the familiar voice says.
krystal need not to check further to know who the person is. "amber? what are you doing here?"
amber's head pops on the side, a cheeky smile on her face. "visiting my girlfriend."
that doesn't explain amber's presence at her doorstep today. but of course, it's enough to make krystal smile. she closes the door to unlock all the locks and reopens it.
"i thought it's suzy's off until tomorrow?" she pulls amber inside.
"something came up at work. they called her in to cover for a colleague," amber says as they saunter over to the kitchen to put the food down.
"does that mean you'll stay here for the night?"
with a hand on her nape, amber looks at krystal apologetically. "umm. well. suzy will come back home this evening."
"oh." krystal pouts.
"but we do have the whole day to spend together." amber pinches krystal's chin. "i'll do whatever you want. we'll watch whatever movie you like."
that somehow managed to bring back the smile on krystal's face.
yeah. it's better than not seeing amber at all.
"let's just be close like this the whole day then." she hugs amber's arm to her chest.
amber looks at her intently, like she's the most beautiful thing in the world. but krystal also knows that look means a lot of stuff is running over her soulmate's mind.
whatever it is, amber shrugs it off with a smile. "whatever my princess wishes then."
krystal leans her head against amber's arm as the latter leads her to the couch.
she wishes this day won't end.
---
they spent the entire day cozied up on the couch, watching movies and eating tteokbokki.
like before, krystal's a happy baby again. amber's usual random kisses here and there, and the whispers of love in krystal's ear sends her heart fluttering and keeps weakening her knees.
krystal loves it because affections like that assure her that no matter what happens, it's going to be her and amber in the end.
---
it was around dusk when things started to heat up between them.
krystal isn't sure if it's because of the hot bed scene from the movie they just watched, or if it's because she knows amber would be leaving sooner or later, but she finds herself eager to make love--to make sure she feels amber before she leaves.
her last talk with suzy left an irksome impression on her--haunting her to this day. thinking about amber getting intimate with her wife can immediately set krystal on fire.
she knows there's no point telling amber about it. she can't stop amber from doing it with suzy, especially now that they don't want to raise suspicions.
but still, hearing the confirmation from suzy makes krystal's blood boil.
thinking about the possibility that something like that might happen to amber and suzy tonight is too much for krystal to take.
so before that happens, krystal's going to claim what's hers first.
she will make sure no one else can make amber feel good the way she can.
with that desire in mind, krystal pushes amber back on the couch and straddles her. she distracts her soulmate with a kiss while her fingers were busy ing amber's shirt.
her hand then explores amber's smooth abs. she inwardly smiles when the other woman reacted to her touch.
this is mine, krystal thinks.
she then pulls away to adjust her position--to stare at amber's body.
satisfied with what she's seeing, she leans in to execute her plans. but halfway there, something caught her eyes.
a mark.
a small purplish mark on the soft skin just below amber's left collarbone.
and it's looking right back at krystal, taunting her.
krystal grits her teeth and pulls back.
"what's wrong?" amber asks.
krystal wants to say it was nothing, but she can't look away from that awful insult.
"princess?" this time, amber looks at the said spot and finally understands the situation. "." she looks at krystal with worried eyes. "i can explain."
"no." krystal stands up and steps back. amber follows.
"krystal, please."
"when did you get that?"
"princess, please..."
"i asked when the hell did you get that!" krystal raises her voice, swatting amber away who's trying to hold her. "was that this morning? or before you went here?"
amber looks down. "l-last night..."
krystal looks away, a hand on her head.
"i'm sorry, princess... i... i have said no many times to her recently, and last night i just ran out of excuses..."
"that's not the point, amber!" krystal looks back at the taller woman. "that's not the point!"
amber presses her lips together, looking like a kid getting a scold from her mom.
"it's already hard for me to accept that i am sharing you with another woman. do you even know how exactly i feel about that?" krystal points at herself. "i would never be able to put into words the pain i feel every time you leave or whenever suzy talks about you during our meetings. but did you hear me say anything about it? did you hear me complain?"
amber shakes her head. her eyes are watery now.
"i did everything i can to not put pressure on you because i don't want to add to your problems," krystal continues. "but you coming here with that..." she points a finger. "... that freaking mark on you. what are you trying to do? are you insulting me?"
"i swear that's not my intention, princess. i didn't know i have this..." amber kneels on the floor and hugs krystal around her waist. "i'm sorry. i never wanted to hurt you."
"just tell me the truth, amber. do you really have plans of leaving your wife?"
amber looks up at her and nods.
"do you really love me?" krystal asks. amber nods again. "then why are you... why are you hurting me this much...?"
when her voice betrays her, krystal covers . amber stands up on her feet and cages krystal in her arms.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. let me make this right, princess. let me make this right."
"i'm tired of this, amber... i'm so tired of this..." krystal's shoulders are shaking. "i should be the one you're with all the time. i shouldn't be hiding like this..."
amber hugs her tighter. "please. give me a chance. i'll... i'll tell suzy about us tonight. i'll do it whatever it takes."
"and what if she asks you to stay, to make it work out?"
"i'll... i'll tell her--"
" this !" krystal steps back, shoving amber away. "you can't even stand up for me now. how do you expect to do it with your wife, huh?"
it took amber a couple of moments to come up with something. "i promise you i'll do it tonight. i'm sure i'll do it this time, princess... please listen to me..."
krystal shakes her head. "let's stop this, amber."
"s-stop what?"
"this. let's stop this now."
"b-but we can't... you know we can't."
"then the spirits!" krystal ruffles her hair, looking up at the ceiling. " them for putting me in this situation! arg!"
"princess, listen to me..." amber pleads. "i'm sorry for taking too much time. but i want this with you. i swear i will do something about it tonight."
krystal wipes her tears with her hand and looks at amber. as much as she knows it was sincere, krystal is sure it won't be as simple as that.
"look, amber. i know it's not that easy for you. it won't be for me too," she says. "do you think we could be happy together knowing we hurt someone--we ruined someone's life--because of our selfishness?"
"princess..."
"let's stop this, amber. let's stop this here and now."
amber's mouth hangs open. a tear finally fell down her cheek.
it was too painful to see amber in that way. for a moment there, krystal wanted to take her words back. but no. she needs to be firm this time.
"you can take your time as long as you want," she says, turning to the window. "but as long as you're with suzy, we shouldn't see each other."
"are you... serious about this...?"
the tremble on amber's voice made krystal close her eyes. she inhales and composes herself.
"i should have done this a long time ago. i don't want to feel guilty anymore. i don't want to keep worrying about how you are whenever you're with your wife. i want peace of mind."
there was no response, but krystal can hear amber's silent cry.
"you don't have to tell your wife tonight if you're not ready yet," krystal adds. "but don't call me or come to me. we shouldn't see each other for now."
"i'm sorry, princess... i'm sorry..." amber's voice is muffled. krystal can picture her covering her face with her palms.
tears are forming in krystal's eyes again. but she doesn't want to look at amber knowing it will soften her. she might end up hugging amber and telling her everything's going to be okay.
"your wife will be here in a few hours," she finally says, putting an end to it. "please lock the door when you leave."
krystal doesn't wait for another second. she walks straight into her room, closing the door and locking it after.
it's only now that she's in a quieter space when she realizes how her heart has been thumping hard against her chest this whole time.
she presses an ear against the door, trying to make a sound of what's happening outside.
it was silent for a minute or two before she hears amber's slow and heavy footsteps.
it felt like she got stabbed in the chest when she hears her front door opens.
the sound of the latching door finally sends krystal to her knees, crying.
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